A Hundred Ways
by RowenaR
Summary: ...Laura Cadman and Evan Lorne encounter each other. My take on the FanFic100-challenge over on LiveJournal. Completed after about a year. Whoa!
1. 033 Too much

**Author:** RowenaR

**Rating:** Everything from K+ to M, I guess.

**Disclaimer:** Stargate belongs to Gekko and… all those other people making money with it. Anyway, I don't. Honestly. So – I don't own, you don't sue. Deal?

**Summary: **A hundred ways Laura Cadman and Evan Lorne encounter each other.**  
**

**A/N: **So... _finally_ my claim has been accepted by the FanFic100-mods on LJ. And since I know that not everyone follows my LJ (there's a reason why I haven't posted the address here), I decided to post the story in the LJ _and_ here, so apologies for everyone who does follow the LJ and gets double-posts. Hope you don't mind too much.

Also, lots of thanks to the wondeful **mac** who agreed to beta these stories as well as my "Protect and Survive"-stories. You're the best :)

Anyway, as always: Not a native speaker, so please excuse any weird grammatical constructions, run-ons and typos. Feedback will earn you a cookie, flames will roast my marshmellows.

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Prompt: 033 Too much

**Eyes that know me**

"_Falling slowly, eyes that know me__  
And I can't go back__  
Moods that take me and erase me__  
And I'm painted black__  
You have suffered enough  
__And warred with yourself  
It's time that you won."_

_Glen Hansard feat. Marketa Irglova, "Falling Slowly"_

In the end of the day… it doesn't matter that she saved maybe an entire planet from being blown up. It doesn't matter that she now has almost Goddess-like status on that planet either. Even the recommendation Colonel Sheppard will write doesn't matter to her. What matters is that one of her team members is dead. Only two weeks after she finally got her own team, her first member is dead. Threw herself in front of a villager's kid and caught the bullet that had the kid's name on it. And she hadn't even been military.

They had tried everything to save Dr. Sandini, but they were too slow, too poorly equipped, too far from the 'Gate. At the end of the day all she sees is Ornella's face as she spent her last living breath and tried to tell her something, but never got the chance to finish. She wants to scream, cry, hurt someone… but all she is able to do is practically crawling back to her quarters.

As she arrives there, she opens the door, drags herself inside and walks over to the shower. Inside, she sheds all her clothing, feeling like peeling away layer after layer of what has protected her against the real impact of Ornella's death until she's naked… and without any protection against the turmoil in her mind.

As if on autopilot, she enters the shower, turns on the water, but barely registers that it's ice-cold. The only thing she registers is that the cold water numbs the thoughts and the feelings threatening to overwhelm her, and she is grateful for that.

She doesn't know for how long she's standing there, just letting the cold water wash over her, make her forget all that happened. All the guilt and the feeling of failure and the pain at losing a friend and all the million things in between for which she doesn't even have a name. She's so bent on getting away from all of that, that she doesn't register someone knocking on her door and calling her name. And she doesn't register that someone knocking a little more forcefully and calling out her name a little louder when she doesn't answer.

At first she doesn't even realize that suddenly she's not alone in the shower anymore. Her skin is so cold that she doesn't feel his touch for the first few moments. Only when the water is turned off, the sound of someone swearing like a trooper reaches her ears. "Holy crap, Jesus fucking Christ, bloody hell! How long have you been standing here?" She blinks and turns her head a little. "Laura, for _how long_?" She wants to say something, but just _can't_.

As he sees that she's not in the condition to answer, he pulls her bathrobe from the hook and wraps it around her. Without wasting any more time, he simply picks her up and carries her over to their bed. There, he pulls the blanket over her and, for good measure, also the quilt her mother sent them with her last package. At first she's a little clueless about why the hell he's doing that, but suddenly she finds herself shivering violently. She turns on her side, curls up very tightly, to make it stop, but is just doesn't.

As her teeth start to chatter, she feels warm skin on hers. Gentle hands running up and down her arms, warm legs encircling hers, a warm and solid chest against her forehead. All the warmth and the tenderness is suddenly too much for her. She feels like choking and so she's heaving breaths, mortally afraid that she'll suffocate. But as it is… she's not about to die from lack of air… but simply starting to cry.

On her still cold face, the tears feel unbearably hot, as do the lips that have started to kiss them away. It's like her body is suddenly going into sensory overload after the initial lack of feeling wore off. She feels like being burned all over. Her first impulse is to get out of this bed, away from the hands and the lips, but he must have anticipated this because one of his legs is thrown possessively over hers and his voice whispers in her ear, "Just let me kiss it better."

Kiss it better… she opens her eyes again, to look into his and search for pity, but all she finds is understanding and caring. He doesn't say anything, simply puts a hand on her cheek and starts kissing her, slow and just a little teasing. There's this moment… where it stops being simply comforting and turns into something more heated. It makes her heart flip and raises a feeling of wanting deep inside of her. All by themselves her hands start roaming over his skin, exploring the body they already know so well and still enjoy discovering anew.

Her mind is now devoid of any thoughts about this day. Instead it's fully in the here and now, ready to relinquish control in favor of her most basic needs at any moment. As he gently rolls her on her back and starts dropping slow little kisses down her throat to the spot between her collarbones, she wraps her legs around him, trying to be as close to him as she can. She wants him _inside_ of her, but he takes his time, keeps her lingering on the edge, until it's almost too much to bear… until it almost makes her _beg_ for a release.

When they have finally reached it… she feels like crying again, only this time because she feels all the tension gone from her body and her mind and is just so relieved that she has survived this day. Got a little damaged, yes, but survived. Survived to come back here and have this man at her side. She feels both drained out and so fucking _alive_.

Yes, the pain of losing Ornella isn't gone, and it'll probably take months – maybe even years – until she is finally ready to forgive herself for that, but it's not threatening to break her anymore. She turns to Evan again. He's looking at her, and she doesn't have to say anything. He understands her even without words. "Better?"

She simply nods and turns to curl up against him. Now the blankets and his presence don't seem to suffocate her anymore. Instead it all feels like her own little cocoon against the harsh galaxy out there that's only waiting to get its hands on her again. Her last thought before falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat is that what matters most in the end of the day is being infinitely grateful for everything Fate grants you. And she is.


	2. 034 Not enough

**A/N: **Okay, so... actually I'd wanted to wait a little with posting the next one... but I had to wait so long for that, so... bear with me? BTW, this is a kind of companion piece to the previous posting, "033 Too much" and of course betaed by the lovely **mac**. Enjoy :)

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Prompt 034: Not Enough

**When the night has come**

"_When the night has come  
And the land is dark  
And the moon is the only light we'll see  
No I won't be afraid, oh I won't be afraid  
Just as long as you stand, stand by me."_

_Ben E. King, "Stand by me"_

It's been a hell of a day. No, scratch that. It's been a hell of a _month_. Two of his men injured gravely in close succession, a week later he nearly lost a whole team of Marines, several frictions in his personal life… and today… today he is responsible for the death of a civilian scientist.

It was his fault, and there's no one who can convince him otherwise. Not Sheppard, not Woolsey, not the rest of the team. No one. And so he sits on the edge of his bed, with the moonlight from outside the only thing lighting up the dark room, but never quite touching the darkness that has engulfed his mind. He sits there, very still, very silent, as if frozen up. Originally he had meant to drag himself back to his quarters, get rid of his BDUs and fall asleep even before his head hits the pillow, but so far he has only managed the first two things.

Sleep just won't come, no matter how dead tired he feels. And so, to keep from tossing and turning, he sits here and stares at the glittering ocean outside, with a light breeze stirring the thin curtains now and then. But in his mind, he's still back on the planet where his ineffectuality has led to the death of a promising young biologist. He sees the scenes playing out in his head again and again… and the words "too little, too late" are kind of burning behind his eyes, in neon signs.

Sometimes… sometimes he feels so much older than his mid-thirties, and he's done that so often recently that a few times he felt tempted to change his age to at least 60 in his own records. Yes, they had had tough times before… but recently everything just seems to be just a little worse, just a tad more exhausting… like nothing he does is ever enough to fulfill his posting. Always something goes wrong, something…

A butterfly touch on his left shoulder interrupts his train of thought shortly, but it isn't enough to stop it. The pictures start coming back as soon as the touch ceases and he leans forward on his knees. But another butterfly touch – lips in the crook of his neck – brings him back to the present. He wants to turn around and tell her to go back to sleep, but she seems to have anticipated that, because she whispers from behind, "Don't. Just… don't." The feeling of her breath touching the sensitive skin around his ear silences him better than any order from any CO ever could have.

Now he feels her hands lightly running over the naked skin of his shoulders, over his shoulder blades down his back. He wants to tell her to stop, because he just doesn't deserve this, not today, but every time he tries to, she does something to keep his mind occupied elsewhere. Like, for example, running her finger down his spine, barely touching his skin. His breath hitches in his throat and although he doesn't want to respond to anything she's doing, because he's afraid he might not be able to keep all of what is bothering him inside of him, he feels himself automatically arch his back ever so slightly.

Or, like she's doing now, dropping kisses on his shoulders where her hands just stopped their work to move on to his arms. He still doesn't want to react because he feels guilty about receiving this from her when all he deserves is rejection, but as she returns her lips to the crook of his neck, his hand comes up and buries itself in her hair, almost as if by itself. As she moves on to his temple, he half turns around and meets her halfway.

Just for the fraction of a second she's surprised, but then she continues her silent and very slow work. While she's doing some more kissing, he briefly registers that in between the kisses she moves around him and straddles him, while gently, but determinedly pushing him to lie down on the bed. He knows where this is going – in fact, he'd known that already in the moment he felt the first fleeting touch of her fingertips – and still puts up some kind of silent, stoic fight with himself for control.

He's losing ground, though, because inside he feels something come dangerously lose at the sight of her sitting atop of him with her hair framing her face and the moonlight illuminating her from behind. Starting a last feeble attempt, he takes a deep breath, but never gets to say a word as she leans down to whisper again. "Just let go, you idiot." she says, but her tone is neither teasing nor unnerved. Instead, there's a very serious and worried note to it.

She punctuates her statement by threading her hands in his hair and going for his mouth again. This time he can feel that she's barely able to restrain herself from being more forceful, more hungry… more heated. Inside of him he feels the pressure he's put on himself in the last few weeks slowly being turned into… anticipation and the need to for a release… his hands find her hips, urging her to stay right where she is.

But she seems to have other plans, now that he has finally given up on trying to wall himself in. Everything she does now has lost the softness and restraint she had shown before. Every touch is a little less gentle and a little more arousing than the one before. At some point he starts wishing she would hurry a little more, take less time, but she always manages to prevent him from taking over. However, when she finally gives him the release he has been wanting so urgently the longer she took, he doesn't complain anymore, because it really _is_ worth the waiting.

After a few moments of mutual mellowing out, he feels the effects of the release setting in… all the tension that had him tied in knots from head to toe is slowly easing out of his body, loosening muscle after muscle. And something else happens: The tension in his _mind_ eases off as well… and he feels his throat constricting. Before he knows it, he's heaving a silent dry sob. Embarrassed, he wants to turn away, but she doesn't let him.

Instead, she turns on her back and draws him with her, guiding his head into the crook of her neck. He buries himself deeply in her hair and her scent and the feeling of her hands, now comfortingly running through his hair and over his shoulder blades. Her lips gently kiss his temple and her voice whispers soothingly, "I can't promise you it'll ever get better. All I can do is promise you that whatever happens I'm here to keep you from drowning in it."

His only response is tightening the grip of the arm encircling her waist and silently thanking God and all other supernatural Entities that they have granted him this woman, although he still feels like he isn't worthy of all that she does for him. Then, finally, the sleep that has eluded him for so long comes and nothing but her scent and the steady rhythm of her even breathing and the deeply satisfying knowledge that at least for tonight she is safe beside him accompany him into the night.


	3. 092 Christmas

**A/N:** Originally, I'd wanted to write four Christmas stories and post them on the four Sundays of Advent (we Germans have this _thing_ with the four Sundays of Advent...), but since the claim got approved a little too late for that I decided to use the last week before Christmas Eve to do that. I hope you don't get a Christmas story overload by the end of the Christmas Season ;)

And of course let's not forget to thank my wonderful beta **mac** for spending all this time trying not to become insane with me making the same mistakes over and over again ;)

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Prompt: 092 Christmas

**Christmas Eve will find me**

"_Christmas Eve will find me  
__Where the love-light gleams.  
__I'll be home for Christmas  
If only in my dreams."_

_Doris Day, "I'll be home for Christmas"_

It just wasn't fair. The first time in _five_ years he had managed to score leave for the last two weeks of December and then his flight home on Christmas Eve got canceled. In fact, _all_ flights were cancelled until further notice. Stupid snow and stupid cold. White Christmas is _totally_ overrated, at least for those who, like him, desperately want to get away from Colorado Springs.

Honestly, mankind has achieved so much and still whole airports got tied up because of a bit of frozen water falling from the sky? And he couldn't even get back to the SGC because going outside and _driving_ would just have been unwise. But alas, at least he wasn't the only one here who had to sit and wait for the blizzard to stop. All around the airport, people were sitting or standing around. Fathers and mothers trying to keep their kids from doing stupid things out of boredom, some youngsters bent on a skiing trip up in Canada, bunches of cadets from the Academy, some business travelers… and a few soldiers like himself. Even in civvies, he could pick them out fairly easy.

But before he could get on with his musings, he suddenly heard a female voice behind him that sounded vaguely familiar. "Mom! I can't… mom? Hey, are you still there? Hello? Aw, fuck it." As he had turned around, he could see a red-haired woman in her late twenties shoving a cell back into her backpack, looking a little distraught… well, to put it mildly. And it had honestly surprised him to see who it was. Laura Cadman. Who then obviously just realized she was being watched. "What's there to… oh. Major Lorne. Uh… 'evening, sir."

Involuntarily he had to smile at her slightly caught expression, because she just had been about to tell off a senior rank who also used to be her commanding officer back on Atlantis. "'Evening, Lieutenant." And because he hadn't known what else to say, he had added, "It's still Lieutenant, isn't it?"

That had conjured a smug smile on her face. "Nope, since two weeks ago it's Captain. Sorry to disappoint you, sir." He had found himself smiling back.

"You didn't. Congratulations." For a moment, there was silence between the two of them. The kind of silence where there's just a very, very thin line between either launching into a conversation or turning around and hope to never see the other again.

The decision, however, had been taken from him when Cadman said, "Well… it's been a while since I saw someone from Atlantis. And seeing we'll be trapped here for the rest of the night… might as well catch up a little. If you don't mind, I mean."

Well, he'd thought, everything's better than staring at the flight board only to see a big red "CANCELLED!"-sign draped over it or frantically trying to reach his parents or his sister in San Francisco. "I don't. What exactly are you interested in, Lieut… Captain?"

"First of all… what's this talk I heard about Rodney breaking Katie Brown's heart? And then…" He'd tried to answer all her questions as truthfully as he could as they wandered over to one of the benches. While they had talked, the blizzard outside had seemed to become more unimportant with every hour, until it was more providing just the right background for talking the night through than being a real nuisance.

Even though they'd been sitting in an airport, surrounded by lots of people, on uncomfortable benches and on Christmas Eve when there really were nicer things than this, he had managed to forget his annoyance at the cancellation of his flight and that he had to wait another night to see his parents and his sister and her family. Captain Cadman had proved to be a very nice partner to pass the night, and he had wondered why he never really noticed her back in Atlantis.

Really… the smile and the little habit of tugging lose strands behind her ears and the great story telling talent… how could he have overlooked that? But maybe, he had mused while watching her talk animatedly about one of her missions with the SGC, it's better like this. Because if he _had_ had noticed her then like he was noticing her now, they both might have been in trouble. There was this one moment… where he caught himself just in time to prevent himself from reaching out and tugging one of her lose strands behind her ear, before she could do it.

And now he's sitting here, still not fully sure how they ended up like this – him with his legs outstretched and his feet lying on his duffel and her with her head on his thigh, on her side, with her own coat wrapped around her shoulders and his draped over her feet – and wondering whether he should wake her up or simply enjoy being able to watch her undisturbed for a little while. The flights still haven't been cleared, and he knows he should phone his family, seeing as this is Christmas Day and everything and his nephews will surely be very disappointed their uncle couldn't make it in time to see what they got him for his stocking, but that would mean having to wake Laura… Captain Cadman.

And so he settles back in his seat, telling himself that it's still too early to call anyway. He closes his eyes again and starts to doze a little. Without him even noticing, his hand drops on Cadman's shoulder, gently, but still firmly enclosing it… as if telling the world to stay away from this woman… stay away from them.

It takes another hour for both of them to finally fully wake up and they find themselves looking at each other a little drowsy after the long uncomfortable night. He takes a moment to drink in her slightly ruffled hair, the tired eyes, the slight paleness… and for some reason in that moment it seems to be one of the most beautiful sights he ever saw on a Christmas morning.

And then she goes and smiles a little tired smile and says "Merry Christmas, sir." and for a moment he finds himself at a loss for words.

Then he catches himself and manages a smile himself – although he's a little afraid that it borders on goofy – and replies, "Merry Christmas, Captain." Then some little devil must be riding him and he adds, "And I wouldn't mind being called Evan… seeing as we just passed the night together."

That makes her first stare at him with surprise and then laugh a nice little laugh. "Well, then, guess it's only fair if you dropped the Captain for simply Laura, isn't it?"

He wants to reply something, but suddenly the airport announcer cuts him short, telling them that the runways are cleared and that the respective flight lines' ground crew members will now start the boarding procedures for all the flights that got cancelled yesterday. Immediately both of them have a look at the board. He hears a very low curse from her, and when he looks at her questioningly, she simply says, "First flight to go is mine. Sorry, but I have to leave… thanks for keeping me company. You did a great job listening to all my nonsense. And you really make a great pillow." Then she seems to have realized what she just said, colors brightly and says, "Okay, forget I ever said that. I'll just… I gotta go. Nice talking to you. Take care."

With that, she has grabbed her backpack and immediately starts to run in the direction of her terminal. For a moment, he just sits there totally dumbfounded as to what just happened. And then something inside him makes him get up, grab the duffel and follow her. He has no idea why, but he runs until he sees her again, and he can't hold back calling "Laura, wait!" over the whole long hallway.

It takes him a little by surprise, but she does stop and turn around. As he reaches her, he needs a moment to get his act together. But he just has this feeling that this might be a very rare chance, something you don't get that often in life… and that this blizzard happened for a reason. He'd be an idiot if he just let this all slip by. So, for lack of a better idea, he asks, "You… you already have something planned for New Year's Eve?"

For a moment, she doesn't say anything, and he's afraid she'll just laugh at him and turn around and never look at him again, but then she replies, "Well… yeah, I do." Crap. That's the only thing he can think of in that moment, and the intensity of that catches him a little off-guard. "Some of the Corps girls from the base are having this nice little party and… oh, I think, they wouldn't mind me bringing along some company. Even if that happens to be a zoomie." Holy… did she just invite him to tag along with her on New Year's Eve?

He blinks. Good God, she _did_. Don't mess this up now. "I'd be happy to accompany you." A bright smile that's matching the clear light of the winter sun from outside appears on her face.

"Great. And don't worry, I'll make sure the girls behave themselves. So… until New Year's Eve, huh? Pick you up at the base?" He simply nods. "Great. Have a nice flight."

"You, too." She smiles again and turns to leave.

But just after a few more feet, she turns around again, and suddenly there's a lovely shade of pink on her cheeks. "Oh, and Evan? Would you mind… if I called you during the next days? Just to specify the exact time and everything?"

There's really only one answer to that. Smiling, he says, "No, not at all." Looking a little relieved she finally turns around to run and catch her flight. As he stands there watching her until she's round the next bend, he realizes that in fact… he's already looking forward to getting her call, even with all the commotion around him a family Christmas brings with it.


	4. 090 Home

**A/N:** Aaand... there we go. Second Christmas story, as promised. It's got a little bit of fluff in it, so if sugar isn't yours... I apologize in advance ;) Of course betaed again by **mac** who teaches me something new about the English language with every story she betaes.

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Prompt: 090 Home

**I won't be on my own**

"_After the fall  
There comes a time to rest your senses  
And after all__  
I decided that I won't be on my own  
__So I'm driving__And the streets__  
Are as white as they can be  
There's a light in everything I see  
I'm coming home."_

_Sasha, "Coming Home"_

"Welcome back, Captain Lorne." She smiles at Cameron Mitchell.

"Thanks, sir. It's been a while, hasn't it?" Mitchell smiles back.

"Yeah. So… you really don't want us to notify him?" She presses her lips together and shakes her head.

"No. I just bet he's got his hands full with the little one at the moment." And she's also not sure how he will react to that call. Ever since she took the posting at the Alpha site half a year ago or maybe even earlier, things between them… had become a little difficult. She doesn't want anyone here to know that there's trouble in paradise, because that would just send the rumor mill into overdrive. Not that she isn't used to it… but she knows how volatile rumors can become here when it's about these things.

Mitchell shrugs. "Hope the Colonel likes surprises." Mh… no, he doesn't. But that's just another thing she'd better keep to herself.

"Yeah, me too. Well then… have a nice Christmas, sir." Mitchell just nods at her and gives her another friendly smile. For some reason… she has the feeling that he _knows_ all's not well between Captain and Lieutenant Colonel Lorne, but keeps from asking her because he knows that basically it's not his business at all. They're just two co-workers who happen to run into each other now and then, encounter each other at formal and informal gatherings… the usual.

"You, too, Captain. Give the Colonel my regards." She just tips her forehead in a casual salute and then finally leaves the SGC. Back when she and her husband still served at the SGC together, they usually drove home together or called the other one to pick them up, but ever since she went away and left him behind with… no, better not think about that now. It's Christmas Eve and she just came back from six months away from her husband and her daughter. With a sigh she takes the elevator up to the surface and when she arrives there, she calls a taxi.

After a drive through dark and frosty Colorado Springs that seems to take for ever, she arrives back at their home. Smiling, she takes in the decoration. True to his nature, it's pretty understated, and she just _bets_ that the glowing reindeer on their front lawn is a concession to their four-year old and her love for everything that sparkles.

Very quietly, she enters the house, assuming that she'll find him alone in front of the fireplace since it's past their daughters bedtime, but to her surprise, she can hear his story teller's voice coming out of the living room. On tiptoes, she walks up to the half open living room door and spies him lying on the couch with their daughter in his arms and a book in his hands. Softly, she leans against the doorframe because she wants to savor this sight, just for a moment, before she is forced to intrude on this and face his probable disapproval.

Inside the living room, father and daughter are so focused on the book that they don't notice her. He turns a page, gives Grace a short peck on her hair and continues reading. "Likewise at the game of How, When and Where, she was very great, and to the secret joy of Scrooge's nephew, beat her sisters hollow; though they were sharp girls, too, as Topper could have told you." Mh… Dickens' _Christmas Carol_. Not exactly the first choice of what she would read to a four-year old girl on Christmas Eve. However, Grace seems to be very content with it, because she gives a little giggle.

"Do you think mommy's very clever, too?" Huh. Where does that come from? The look on Evan's face says about the same, and it hurts her that for a moment, a frown appears. However, he gives great care not to let his discomfort at having to talk about her show.

"Of course. I wouldn't have married her if she wasn't." Liar, she thinks. Because he actually told her about the exact opposite of what he just told their daughter when she had first told him she was thinking of actually taking up the offer of joining the crew at the Alpha site and getting her first real command in the course. Later he'd accepted her choice, but he'd never been _happy_ with it.

"When is she coming back? I miss her." She has to hold back a little sniffle at hearing that. Half a year ago, she'd tried to tell Grace very carefully that she would be away for a long time but that she would send letters and everything, but the little one had been too young to fully understand. She'd tried to tell herself that while she was doing something for her career she would also be doing something for her daughter and that three years are _nothing_, but… that had been a grave misconception.

But what _really_ pushes her over the edge is Evan's answer. "I know. I miss her too, penguin." There's so much earnestness in this that she's positive he isn't just saying it for the sake of their daughter. The genuine longing and sadness in his voice tug at her heartstrings. And what's even more getting to her is that he tries to cover that up very fast, probably as not to upset Grace too much. "We'll talk to her tomorrow, remember? Want me to read on?" Feebly, the girl nods, trying to be brave. "Okay. Where were we? Oh right… There might have been twenty people, young and old, but they all played, and so did Scrooge…"

While he reads on about Scrooge's secret visit to his nephew's, she gets another good look at father and daughter, who look very much alike; Grace's dark hair and her blue eyes are 100% Evan and even at such a young age, she shares a lot of facial expressions with her father. She's also grown quite a bit. Dammit, which devil had been riding her when she had decided that it was a good idea to experience three years of her daughter's life only through video conferences, letters and the occasional visits every few months? Why didn't she listen to Evan in the first place? Would have spared her more than one serious fight with him.

As she sees him throwing a short look towards the fireplace and sees hurt and aching cross his face when he must have caught sight of one of her pictures, she decides she has hidden long enough and pushes the door fully open. "I really don't know if the _Christmas Carol_ is the right stuff to read to a four-year old." Argh. Maybe not exactly the best thing to say for her, seeing as she missed out on six important months in the growth of her daughter, even if it's devoid of any cutting or condescending undertone. But at least it got her both their attention in an instant.

For a moment, the only sound in the room is the crackling of the fireplace, but then Grace squeals, hops off the couch and almost throws herself on her. Laughing, she picks her daughter up. "Yeah, I'm happy to see you too, baby." Not being able to hold back anymore, she hugs her daughter tightly to her and when Grace throws her arms around her neck she closes her eyes and buries her face in her daughter's hair to breathe in the clean and slightly sweet scent she's missed so much.

"Merry Christmas, mommy," Grace whispers and she has to smile. She refuses to look at Evan, and so she never sees how his initial frown briefly changes into surprise, relief and wanting to do just as Grace did.

"Merry Christmas, baby." Not willing to let go of her daughter so fast, she keeps the girl on her arm, even though she's grown quite heavy over the last few months. And Grace seems to be quite okay with that as well.

She leans in to tell her something else. "You were my Christmas wish." It nearly breaks her heart to hear this, but it's also the best confirmation ever for deciding against her position as head of the Alpha site's explosives lab and for coming back to be one officer among many at the SGC.

Smiling she replies, "So _that's_ why this big guy in a red coat kidnapped me." Because she's still concentrating on Grace, she misses Evan overhearing her and smothering a smile at that. The first thing from him she _does_ notice is a cough bordering on impatient and reproachful.

"I think, young lady, that it's time for bed now." He says it to Grace, but he looks at her, as if to tell her that he isn't exactly thrilled about her simply walking in. Okay, so she knew that he wouldn't make it easy for her, but… why do things _always_ have to be so complicated?

"Only if mommy tucks me in." Grace, in her arms, turns her head towards her father, bringing the whole nine yards from big eyes to the little pout. No doubt it's all unconsciously and without any intent, but it's fulfilling its purpose anyway, as she can see his face softening, despite his attempts at looking not amused. Rolling his eyes a little, he just nods.

Chattering, whispering and giggling, they make their way up to Grace's room. As she tucks her little girl in, she's aware of Evan leaning against the doorframe, watching them silently with his arms crossed. She tries not to let it on, but it _is_ bothering her, because it makes her feel scrutinized, like a guest that is only grudgingly allowed to break a ritual that has developed between Evan and Grace in the last few months.

After a little more bantering with Grace, she gives her a good night kiss on the forehead and then leaves the room, passing Evan by. He doesn't say anything, just moves into the room to give her his own good night peck. Again, she feels oddly like intruding on something special between father and daughter. Not able to bear this feeling any longer, she turns around and goes back to the living room. For a moment at a loss of what do to, she sits down on the couch and stares into the dying flames in the fireplace.

Suddenly, she feels the urge to cry, because she feels the fear that she decided to come home permanently already too late and that she already lost Grace… and Evan creep up. Dammit, why did she have to go and screw this up? Other people don't have any problems with being in Atlantis or at one of the outposts. They still have families, don't alienate their spouses…

"So… this is how it's going to be for the next three years?" She stops her musings and looks up to see Evan standing at the other end of the couch, feet slightly apart, arms crossed again. She wants to answer something, but obviously he has more to say to that, only being able to keep his voice level for the sake of Grace. "You appearing here out of nowhere, giving Grace some cuddling and then hurrying off-world again? Because, you know, if it _is_…"

"No, it's not," she simply says and that stops him dead in his tracks. For a moment, he's too surprised for any reply, and she takes that chance. Standing up as well to face him eye to eye, she continues, "I handed in a request to be transferred back to the SGC."

He presses his lips together and looks away, rubbing a hand over his eyes. "Look, don't get me wrong, but… didn't you want this posting at all costs?" She nods. No use in denying that. "Then what the _hell_ made you hand in that request?"

You, she wants to say. You and Grace and this house, where you always have to be careful as not to stumble over a carelessly dropped stuffed animal and where you can play the best games of Hide and Seek and where you can sit down in front of your fireplace and fall asleep in the arms of your husband after a day full of bullshit. But she's afraid he'll simply not believe her, given the fact that she fought so hard to get this posting – at the SGC and with him. "I…"

"You what? Laura? What's going on here?" He becomes impatient, and she knows she should just answer him but now there isn't only the dread that he might not believe her but also the feeling of shame, because she didn't manage what countless of other soldiers and civilians off-world managed: Keep her family together _and_ give a top-notch performance in her job. He knows her as someone being able to achieve whatever she wants – good soldier, good mother, good wife – and suddenly she screws up two things out of three? Not exactly the thing you want to admit to your husband who wouldn't have made this mistake.

"Look, I…" He shakes his head, almost ready to give it up and simply go to bed. Dammit, can't she do _anything_ right? She takes another deep breath. "I know you won't believe me but… I made a mistake. I had a choice and I made the wrong one. I'm… I handed in the request to correct that." There. She practically admitted that she's a loser.

He needs a moment to realize what she just said. And _she_ finally realizes that he was afraid of being disappointed again… of being left behind again, of her not even noticing how much having to let her go again and again hurts him. She takes a few tentative steps towards him. Maybe… _maybe_ she hasn't lost her family yet. As the full impact of what she just told him reaches him, he closes the remaining gap between them and for the first time since she came here, his face isn't showing any disapproval or anger.

In fact, there's a mixture of relief and hope on it. He sighs and reaches out to cup her cheek. "About damn time, Captain." She feels herself smiling at that. Then he bends down and shortly before he kisses her, he breathes, "Just so you know: You were _my_ Christmas wish as well." When he seals her lips with his, she can't help thinking that it's really better to be a loser with a family and a career on the hold than a career soldier without a family. She _really_ should have thought of that earlier.


	5. 067 Snow

**A/N:** Well, Christmas story number three, and dedicated to everyone who has to battle massive amounts of snow coming down, like - for example - my wonderful beta **mac**. Hope it stops before it buries you!

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Prompt: 067 Snow

**Don't feel like going home**

"_All the lights are coming on now  
__How I wish that it would snow now  
I don't feel like going home now  
I wish that I could stay."_

_The Raveonettes, "The Christmas Song"_

"Sir?" He looks up. In front of him, Lieutenant Cadman and Sergeant Meyers are standing, looking a little like children about to ask their teacher something the teacher might not answer in a positive way.

"What is it?" Cadman and Meyers look at each other, and then the Lieutenant clears her throat.

"Permission to check the perimeter, sir?" What the…? Outside it's _freezing_, and they are asking him permission to _leave_ the building? A little suspicious he frowns.

"Any special reason, Lieutenant?" He's really interested in this, because he simply fails to understand why someone would want to leave the nice and dry heated Ancient facility they are currently inhabiting as security detail for the scientists working on the various terminals they discovered. Granted, it's a little boring… but once in a while, _boring_ mission equals _good_ mission.

"Well, uh… just making sure no one catches the scientists here off-guard." Uh-huh. Nothing to do with being bored out of your minds, right? Ah hell, if that's the only way these two Marines can be kept from developing cabin fever… so be it.

"Permission granted. If you happen to notice anything unusual… radio me." On both faces there's relief showing. They must have been _really_ bored if they volunteered to go outside.

"Will do, sir." He just nods and they leave the room, the Sergeant trailing behind the Lieutenant. He wants to turn around to watch the scientists again, but something catches his ear.

"I don't want to sound overly pessimistic, ma'am… but wasn't that far too easy?" Huh? Pretending his concentration is elsewhere he strains to hear Cadman's response. And yes, she does him the favor of answering while still being in earshot.

"Don't worry, Sergeant. I'm positive the Major has no intention of leaving this building before we're done. We've got plenty of time." On second thought… maybe listening in on them wasn't such a good idea after all. Typical case of curiosity got the cat now. The implications of what Cadman just said… they aren't really… are they? Okay, so they called each other by their rank… but couldn't that have been just to fool anybody passing by? And isn't Meyers _married_? Sometimes he hates his duties as a CO. Already personal drama involving adultery, court-martials and other unpleasant things is unfolding in his mind. He _has_ to act now.

Giving them a head start, he gets up after ten minutes, tells the second team's leader Major Andreesen that he's headed outside and cautiously makes his way through the corridors leading to the exit of the building. The whole time he's a little on the edge, expecting to catch Cadman and Meyers doing something highly inappropriate in every corner. Strangely enough… he never finds them.

Only when he's nearing the open exit door, he hears female laughter and the Sergeant's voice saying, "Hey, that's cheating, ma'am!" Good _God_. Determined, he steps out of the door, ready to give them both the dressing down of their lives… but being stopped dead in his tracks by something cold and wet hitting him squarely in the face. Holy…

For a moment, the only things moving are the snowflakes falling down softly. Then he can actually see who threw the snowball at him, because Cadman's face tells a very clear story. At first her eyes grow round and large. Then, her mouth opens slightly, probably with a few choice words lodged firmly in her throat. And last, her cheeks that are already reddened by the cold, start to _glow_ in a bright pink.

He swears he's never seen her like this before. Already he can feel laughter coming on, but just for that cold, wet snow slowly melting in his collar, he decides to not let her off the hook so fast. "What the _hell_ was that, Lieutenant?"

She swallows and is still so much in shock that she's not her usual loudmouth self. "Well, uh… you see, we didn't expect… uh… I mean, I wasn't aiming at… um… sorry, sir?"

He raises his eyebrow, which just serves to make her look down on the ground in embarrassment… or is she trying to hide a mischievous gleam in her eyes? Before he can ask, though, Meyers clears his throat. "What the Lieutenant is trying to say, sir, is that she didn't expect you to come out here and clearly didn't intend to soak your clothes." Is he imagining it or is Meyers _immensely_ enjoying this? Him with melted snow still dripping from his face and Cadman speechless at the result of her poorly aimed snowball… yeah, if he was a NCO, he'd probably find the whole scene very amusing as well.

But he isn't. "And _why_ didn't you expect me to come out here, Lieutenant?"

She sneaks a look towards Meyers that's promising the Sergeant imminent torture the moment he has left the scene again, but then straightens up again and says, "Well… it's common knowledge you're something of a California beach boy. Sir." Common knowledge? Uh-huh… And did she just call him a sissy who can't take a bit of cold because he grew up in one of the sunny states? Alright, that calls for drastic measures.

"Ah… I guess it's time then that someone shows you that California beach boy doesn't equal wuss." The confusion on her face is replaced very fast with alarm as she realizes that he just bent down to get his revenge. A full-blown grin starts to form on his face, because he might have grown up in California… but that doesn't mean his parents never took them on skiing trips. His snowball hits her as squarely in the face as hers did just a few minutes ago.

She sputters a little and then calls out to Meyers, "Hey, he cheated! That was _definitely_ cheating, Sergeant!"

Meyers, though, just shrugs and raises his hands. "He's the boss, ma'am. The boss can cheat whenever he wants to."

She grumbles something that sounds suspiciously like "Stupid male bonding." and then obviously has decided that the best defense is an offense, because she manages to hit them _both_ in quick succession, grinning _very_ smugly.

At that, something in him – maybe his inner twelve year old – brings him to start and run after her. He actually manages to leap at her and throw her to the ground, right into the powdery softness of a big snow bank. A cloud of very fine snow crystals surrounds them for a few moments, and beneath him she squeals, but somehow it sounds much more delighted than irritated.

For a moment, neither of them says anything. Both are panting, and his face is only inches away from hers. Snowflakes are gently landing on her face and in her hair. A few strands have escaped the braided and pinned up hair at the back of her head and cling to the sides of her face because the snow has wet them. Her lips are slightly parted, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. He finds himself surprised at the color of her eyes, because it's quite unusual for a natural redhead to have eyes of such deep velvet brown that Cadman has. As if pushed by some unknown force he finds himself pursing his lips slightly and at the verge of bending down…

"Uh, sir, it's getting a little cold down here." Oh. Dammit. Stupid snow and stupid fooling around and stupid himself. A little ashamed at how he just let himself go he struggles to get off her.

"Of course. Sorry, Lieutenant." He wishes he had the guts to look her in the eye, but the strange feelings still linger on and he just _has_ to avert her eyes. And so he never sees the small amused smile playing over her face and the slight smirk Meyers throws her from behind him.

There's a terrible moment of uncomfortable silence, but his Sergeant decides to rescue them from all-around awkwardness. "Sir, ma'am… with all due respect… I would suggest returning back into the compound. We haven't found anything suspicious, and I'd hate Dr. Beckett or Dr. Keller coming down on me for one of us catching pneumonia."

After having dusted most of the remaining snow off his BDUs, he turns towards Cadman, trying very hard to keep up the closed-off professional façade. "Lieutenant? Can you confirm this assessment?"

Cadman is her usual Marine self again, but finds it obviously quite hard to keep the lingering amusement fully out of her face. "Positive, sir." And then a slight smirk breaks through. "Would be a shame if one of us had to pass up next week's Christmas party because they're sneezing their ass off."

He suppresses a sigh at her mentioning that dreadful party and simply nods and jerks his head towards the compound's entrance. Cadman is the first to go, then Meyers and he's the last one. All the time he feels his gaze glued to the snow on her back and he can just hold off reaching out to brush it away. As they reach the entrance, she suddenly turns around and he isn't fast enough to pull his gaze away from her. She notices it and gives him a grin that's something between teasing, inviting and mischievous. It's so infecting… that he just can't help returning a small grin of his own.

And did he just hear Meyers murmur "Definitely need to ask someone from the botany department to find something similar to mistletoe."? He's about to bust the Sergeant's ass for that, but then he decides that overhearing this is going to be his one good Christmas deed. Besides… he wants Cadman to keep grinning and smiling at him just a little while longer. It's this year's Christmas present to himself.


	6. 065 Passing

**A/N:** Last Christmas story, a direct sequel to the last one and to date the longest of the FanFic100-pieces I'm done with. By the way: 22 down, 78 to go. Whoa! And which is even more "whoa": **mac** still isn't tired of betaing them :D

Anyway, merry Christmas and happy holidays to everyone of you. I guess I'll be back with maybe one or two stories between Christmas and New Year's Eve, but in case I'm not: Also a happy new year to everyone of you!

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Prompt: 065 Passing

**Something more I've got to give**

"_Christmas is coming  
Like a road I'm running  
__All the lights reminding me  
there's something more I've got to give."_

_Heather Nova, "Always Christmas"_

Mh, that's how she likes it, even without snow. Or trees outside that could be covered in it, come to think of it. Anyway, there's a Christmas tree _inside_, and it even has lights and decoration… though she has no idea who's responsible for getting this thing to Atlantis. The whole room is sporting Christmas decoration from different cultural and national backgrounds. There's even some Hanukkah decoration and some stuff she can't really identify.

But what's most important is that people are having fun here, sitting and standing around the room, talking, laughing, joking… enjoying Christmas even though they're all a _very_ long way from home. For example in a corner opposite to her, there's Teyla listening to a group of scientists and soldiers telling her about their respective national and regional Christmas traditions. There are some of the Sergeants in another corner looking at pictures Wilkinson is showing around. She suspects they all show his one year old daughter.

At the buffet table, Rodney and Zelenka are bickering about one thing or the other, but it looks more like two friends teasing each other, not like… "Enjoying the party, ma'am?" She blinks. Oh. Sergeant Meyers, her partner in crime in roping Colonels Carter and Sheppard into allowing this party for the staff. She'd been a little surprised to find such a willing accomplice in him when she let a comment about missing Christmas atmosphere slip, but he's done a great job in subtly organizing the Atlantis people to convince Carter and Sheppard that this would be a great idea.

"Absolutely, Sergeant. Good job." He smiles.

"Thanks, ma'am. It's really turned out great." There's a pause, but she can sense that something's bugging him.

"I can already hear a but coming, Sergeant." He rubs his neck a little sheepishly.

"Yeah, well, it's just that… don't you think there are some people missing here?" She takes a look around. Mh… well, for instance Colonel Carter is absent, but that's because her shift started half an hour ago. Before that, she graced the party for an hour with her presence, and somehow she's sure they'll see her at least once or twice before this is over here. And yeah, Dr. Keller isn't here as well, but she left a while ago with Ronon, because… she has no idea why they left, but both were definitely here before.

"Sure. Someone… in particular you're missing?" Meyers shrugs to look as if he's only making a casual observation, but she just has this feeling that he's got an agenda.

"Well… the boss isn't here. And I haven't seen him at all for the last three days. It's a bit like he disappeared." The boss? Who… oh, right. Major Lorne, Meyers' team leader. Come to think of it… Meyers is right. Ever since they returned from the mission on the snow planet – the one she has secretly dubbed 'The Thing with the Snow Bank' – the Major seems to have vanished from the city. That _is_ a bit strange, and she wonders if that has anything to do with what happened in the snow. But nah… that's stupid, isn't it? She sighs without a sound.

"Know what? I was about to go to my quarters to get some music anyway. If I happen to stumble over the Major, I'll tell him it would be nice of him to drop by here. How's that?" Deep satisfaction shortly shows through on Meyers' face before he carefully reverts to straight-faced.

"Sounds like a plan, ma'am." She nods.

"Be right back." With that, she leaves the mess hall, with every intention of simply walking to her quarters and back, because she really doesn't believe she'll run into Major Lorne when he has made himself scarce for the last three days. But when she exits the transporter and rounds the bend… she suddenly sees him standing on one of the balconies near her quarters. She's very close to simply passing him by and continuing to her quarters, but then again… she kind of promised Meyers. Taking a deep breath, she steps onto the balcony.

She clears her throat as not to startle the Major leaning on the railing. He turns around and for a moment his face lights up, but then he carefully schools it back to stoic. She gives him a lopsided grin. "And here I thought you found an Ancient device that could make you invisible, sir."

"Shouldn't you be at that party down in the mess hall?" Does she detect a note of annoyance in his voice? And she knows she should probably leave him alone, but there's something about him… something about the way he reacts to everything having to do with Christmas that makes her suspect… something's up with him.

"Oh, I was. Just felt that… they were lacking the appropriate music." And your Sergeant asked me to find you for some reason I can't fathom, but I don't think it's a good idea to tell you that.

"And you…?" A little questioning, he raises his eyebrow, obviously slowly getting that he wouldn't get rid of her that fast.

"And I just happen to have some stashed away." Mh. Okay, that's still no explanation as to why she suddenly appeared here, which shows clearly in his clueless face. She has to suppress a grin. "My quarters are around the corner. I just stumbled upon you, sir. And seeing that you practically disappeared after the last mission…"

"You thought you had to check if I wasn't just a figment of your imagination?" She has to grin at his totally straight-faced answer and the slight ironic undertone in his voice.

"Something like that, yeah." And now… something she maybe shouldn't do, but she was never one for the stealthy approach anyway. "So… barring that fact that you aren't… you know, it would be nice if you dropped by "that party" in the mess hall." He's about to say something about that, but she just pretends she didn't see that. "Look, sir, Colonel Carter and Colonel Sheppard have already put in an appearance – actually, Colonel Sheppard is _still_ enjoying himself quite a bit – and I think it would do the base's morale good if his 2IC would appear there as well. Just… for a few minutes?" Argh. She hadn't wanted to sound questioningly, but lately that seems to happen quite often in his vicinity. Like it suddenly matters just a tad more what he will answer to such stuff than what other senior ranks answer.

For a while he doesn't say anything, and she's already afraid that she said too much, was too forward… overstepped boundaries. And Major Lorne is not an officer who tolerates this. When she's almost ready to apologize and beat a hasty retreat, he shortly looks down and then takes a deep breath. "Lieutenant… I understand your reasoning. But… believe me, I wouldn't be very nice company right now. I don't think I'd do much to raise morale."

Yeah, well, not that this wasn't apparent already. But at least that gave her an opening, and in true Cadman-style she doesn't think much, just asks, "Sir… is everything okay?" Dammit. As if he would actually answer her.

He takes his time with answering her, but she's willing to take the risk of having angered him, because if she's honest she _was_ a little worried. She has no idea why, but his disappearance in the last few days made her think, and not only because she still hasn't found out what could possibly have brought him to jump her back on that snow planet. Finally, he looks at her, trying to keep up the mask of dutiful soldier. "Yeah, I'm fine." Okay. Yeah. That was to be expected. But still… "It's just that… I kind of… lost that Christmas spirit a while ago." He… what?

Even she – always blunt and a little insensitive – can sense that there's more behind that and that somehow… he _wants_ to talk about it but doesn't really know it himself. She has to suppress a sigh. Something like this is really not her forte. Kate Heightmeyer and Teyla Emmagan are both geniuses when it comes to helping people talk about stuff that's difficult for them, but she? Ah hell. It's worth a try, isn't it? "You know… I'd listen, sir. And I wouldn't blab about it. If you… if you want to talk about it, that is."

A little surprised he looks at her. Then a little resigned half-smile grazes his face. "I won't get out of it anyway, will I?"

"'Fraid not, sir." Come to think of it… it's true. It's Christmas and she just can't bear seeing people downcast at Christmas. And she kind of likes the guy on a personal level, even though he's her CO and probably her complete opposite. Oh well… and she can't get the short moment in the snow bank out of her head, where he'd looked at her as if he just saw something he never saw before… and liked it.

He laughs a humorless little laugh and rubs a hand over his eyes. "Fine… but no blabbing, right? It's a promise, Lieutenant." She nods a little too eagerly, which makes him smile just for a moment. "It's… two things, mostly. One is that… okay, that's really stupid." She shakes her head.

"No, it's not, sir. I mean, I don't know what this is going to be about, but it's got you tied in knots, so it's got to be anything but stupid." The Major looks at her a little skeptically, but obviously something in what she just said makes him continue talking.

"Tied in knots, huh?" Yeah, pretty much. She could tell him now that even she can see the subtle signs, like he's leaning onto the rail as if he needs something strong to support him and that he can't keep his hands still. But she also knows that getting in an argument about body language won't get her very far. So she just confirms it with a little apologetic shrug. "Alright. I just miss… family Christmas. I've got a sister and two nephews and I haven't seen them in _ages_, just like my parents and… I know they have to celebrate just another Christmas without me, not even knowing where I actually am. Always makes me wish I hadn't taken a permanent posting here." She wants to tell him that she fully understands and that missing one's family is _not_ stupid. But he's obviously not done yet. "Don't get me wrong, Lieutenant… I know what an honor it is to serve here and generally I enjoy it, but… sometimes…"

She so wants to put a hand on his tightly wound fingers or on his shoulder and make the demons that are obviously plaguing him go away. She also knows, though, that she just got something that maybe no one apart from her will ever get here: An insight into the mind of one of most important and maybe most private people in this city. That makes her feel kind of… special, and she doesn't want to spoil that with a step too fast. So she just nods and says, "I know, sir. Believe me, I do. I have family back on Earth and… half the time I want to apologize to them for missing out so much on everyone's life." However, this is not about her. "Anyway… what's the second thing?"

Ha. He didn't think she'd remember that, huh? "Good perception, Lieutenant." Hey, it's not like he said that a month ago, okay? "Never thought Marines where capable of that." What the…? He grins at her, and that's a sight that makes her heart melt a little, as she gets to see it up close and personal.

Still… no one insults a Marine's perceptiveness like that. "No diverting my attention, Major."

"Did you recognize that attempt because you're a Marine or because you're a woman?" And another glimpse of a persona so completely different from what he shows them when he's on duty. She got the first on that snow planet, and it kind of caught her totally off-guard, just like it does now. Something of that must have shown through, because he doesn't revert back to this very serious way of his.

"Anyway… the second thing… a year ago… my last girlfriend kind of walked out on me. Well, as much as you can walk out on someone who's a galaxy away from you, that is." Instead it's replaced by a kind of ironic, distanced manner of speaking… and she's listened enough to Kate's talk about the human psyche that she has the feeling that this hurt him much more than he lets on.

It still kind of surprises her to hear that. Not that she doubted he would get female attention… she just automatically had assumed that he was married to his work and would always stay that way. But yeah, of course that had been foolish. That someone doesn't talk about a significant other doesn't mean he doesn't have one. Or _had_ one. "Oh… I wouldn't want to be reminded of something like that either. Did she… did she give a reason?" She's come so far now, it almost seems natural she asks him questions she would have never asked on any other day.

And it seems like he decided to tolerate her prying, even though she doesn't know why. "Said she didn't want to wait another year until I would get a stateside posting." However… he has gone back to the hands twisting and the not looking at her.

"Well… it _is_ hard for our people at home." He sighs. Of course he knows that. Colonel Sheppard and he are the ones having to deal with Sergeants in divorce lawsuits, Lieutenants whose grandparents died, Captains who have to wait three months to see the first pictures of their newborn kids…

"Yeah, well, turned out she'd already… found someone else to fill my position and wanted to spare me the heartache of telling me _that_. You know, with Christmas around the corner and everything." What a… _bitch_, is her first thought, and the fierceness of that shocks her a little. But honestly… how could a woman cheat on _this_ man? She'd really love to meet this stupid cow of a woman and smack her a good one for doing this.

So she can't help mumbling, "Then she didn't deserve you in the first place anyway."

"Pardon, Lieutenant?" Argh. He heard that. He _had_ to. She looks away to avoid him seeing her blushing.

"Nothing. I just… nothing."

"Uh-huh. And anyway… I don't know why I'm even telling you this, Lieutenant." Dammit. He just realized who she is and who _he_ is and what their respective positions are.

She knows she should just let it lie here, leave this balcony and try to keep out of his sight for at least half a year. But her mouth is faster than her head. "Because it's Christmas, of course. The time where miracles are most likely to happen."

For some reason… that makes him show a reluctant half-smile. "A miracle would be if I could be _home_ for Christmas."

Home… she wonders if he doesn't want to or really _can't_ see it. She clears her throat. "Sir… please don't get off on me, but… I think you _are_ home."

And here they go. Shaking his head, he wants to start, "Lieutenant…"

But something in her tells her not to let him say whatever he was about to say. "No, no, wait. Let me finish. Please? This could be home as well… if you let it. First step… _could_ be showing your face at the party."

At first it looks like he's going to bust her back to Private for interrupting him and for still not giving up on the whole party-thing. But it's true. Showing up wouldn't only be good for the base's morale… it would also do wonders to _his_ morale, she's sure of that. Even if it was just to distract him from what that idiot woman did to him a year ago. She sneaks him a look again and is surprised to see him heaving a resigned sigh. "You'll never give up, will you?" She… can't believe that. She just won him over. How the… no, better not ask. Just savor.

"Nope, not a chance." She can't help looking smug now. She knows she should be ashamed of how she invaded her superior's privacy, but there just was something about him she couldn't bear to see, and most of all not on Christmas.

"I was afraid you'd say that. Alright… ten minutes, Lieutenant." A victorious grin is stealing itself on her face. "Ten minutes. Not one minute more. Did I make myself clear?" She nods, maybe again a little too eagerly to be fully convincing.

"Crystal, sir." So it's settled. She's so relieved she got him to stop ostracizing himself from the rest of the city that she even forgets going to her quarters and get some music. Instead they just walk back to the mess hall, miraculously never lapsing into uncomfortable silence as she relates to him what already happened, who already embarrassed him- or herself, who left early with whom, who didn't… they are so engrossed in talking that they don't even notice the Marine lurking in the shadows around the lift on the mess hall's level tapping his earpiece and radioing someone secretly.

Which is why they are absolutely surprised to see the whole room turning to them as they enter the mess hall. A kind of expectant silence greets them as the chatter ceases and everyone looks at them. What the…? A leaf suddenly lands at her feet and both she and the Major look up to see… something with leaves and berries hanging overhead. Major Lorne is the first one to break the silence as he asks no one in particular, "What… is _that_ supposed to be?"

"The local equivalent of mistletoe, I believe, sir." Meyers helpfully as ever tells him. This… just isn't happening, right?

The Major looks a lot like he just echoed her thought as he turns to her and slightly purses his lips. "Well…"

She feels her eyes glued to his lips, looking a lot like back on that snow planet, when he seemed to be unable to tear his eyes off her. Without even registering it she mirrors the lips pursing. "Well…"

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**A/N #2:** Well, there's your mistletoe, **Eva** :D I'm still thinking about making a trilogy out of it and write a New Year's Eve piece... what do you think?


	7. 095 New Year

**A/N:** Yay, I got the New Year's Eve story ready before New Year's Eve! And **mac** was a beta wiz again and got it ready really fast. So, since I'll be gone on a trip to my sister's which will hopefully involve some skiing until the 2nd I wish everyone of you a happy new year! :)

Oh, and before I forget it: Yes, I do take requests and song suggestions. I can't promise you I'll use every one of them but I'll be glad about every idea you'll throw at me :)

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Prompt: 095 New Year

**Happy New Year**

"_Happy new year  
__happy new year  
may we all  
have a vision  
now and then  
__of a world where  
every neighbor is a friend."_

_ABBA, "Happy New Year"_

Why is it that he just agreed to go and look for Lieutenant Cadman if _he_ had been the one she seems to have fled from whenever he entered a room? Not that he could blame her for that after what happened at the Christmas party, but… couldn't she have done that just a little less obviously? And anyway, it wasn't even a _real_ kiss, just a peck on each other's cheek, followed by furious blushing on both sides and alternatively snickering, applauding and wolf whistling from their audience.

And why the _hell_ did he just let Sergeant Meyers turn him into the errand boy? Probably because deep down he _had_ been wanting to talk to Lieutenant Cadman the whole evening and had been a little worried about her. Laura Cadman leaving for the balcony in the last 30 minutes of the old year, just when things are starting to get interesting? That _is_ a reason to be worried.

Silently sighing he steps onto the balcony and steps beside her. For a moment she's so focused on the sea that she doesn't even notice him, and so he clears his throats and gives his best to sound conversationally when he says, "You know… if I didn't know better I'd say you've been avoiding me ever since _that_ party."

Her first reaction is to jump a little and stare at him, looking a _lot_ like she's ready to bolt. But then obviously her pride had won and she takes great care to try and look unfazed by his sudden appearance. "Sorry to tell you, but no, I've not been avoiding you. I was rather… avoiding the party."

He raises an eyebrow. "Hope you don't mind me asking, but… _why_?" Because _he_ really found the party okay, and that's saying a lot.

She rolls her eyes. "Oh, you mean because I'm such a notorious party animal?" He can't hold back an apologetic grin.

"Yeah, well…"

"Okay, okay, I do have that reputation for a reason." He wants to tell her it's not a _bad_ reputation per se, but she continues after throwing a short look over her shoulder inside the room, "It's just… _someone_ inside there was getting a little on my nerves." A short look of disgust passes over her face, almost faint enough that he might have missed it if he had blinked in that exact moment. The whole thing… makes him want to find whoever was giving her a hard time and make sure he or she won't be a guest at any Atlantis party for the next six months. At least.

"Hope it wasn't me." He wants to make light of the whole thing, but a part of him… is actually afraid she might say yes, it _was_ him. It's the same part that can't stop thinking of the way she looked in the snow bank and the way she'd tried to comfort him on the balcony… and of course that dreadful set-up under the mistletoe.

She takes a short moment, and he's shocked at how _strong_ the part in him is that wants her to dispel all his doubts. Then, she gives him a short smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes and says, "No, don't worry. It's… nothing big. Just…" She looks a lot like she debates whether to tell him or not, and it does take a little effort not to rush her. "It's just Dr. Herreira obviously trying to secure his first in line position for the obligatory New Year's Eve kiss. He's been pretty… clear in his intentions."

He throws a look back and just as if on cue catches the Portuguese's eyes. Holy… you could think Herreira just caught him making out with his wife or something. And yeah, now that she said it… he remembers having noticed Herreira intruding into her personal space a couple of times. He'd assumed she didn't mind but that had been mainly because he hadn't wanted to watch her and other men too closely. But now that he knows she was just being polite… "Lieutenant… just remember, if he did _anything_…"

"No, no, it's okay, sir. Thank you for the offer, but… I can handle things like that myself. I could _always_ handle things like that myself." Actually, he wasn't just suggesting doing something about Herreira because he was trying to be nice or because he believes she can't defend herself, but because it's his _job_ to make sure no one harasses his soldiers. He wants to tell her so, but she beats him to it, "Hey, I would have come to you or Colonel Sheppard if it would have had gotten out of hand. And don't worry I really can take care of myself. Herreira is no big fish." Then what _is_ a big fish, he wants to ask, but is afraid that this would _really_ be prying.

Granted, he told her a lot about himself just a few days ago, but he thinks that he just doesn't have her very easy way of making other people talk. He'd just be way too clumsy and maybe chase her off with asking about something as highly personal as past experiences with sexual harassment. Still… he wants to add something, but suddenly people start counting down back in the mess hall.

Ten.

They look at each other and find themselves… pursing their lips. Again. He feels awfully reminded of that very embarrassing scene under the mistletoe.

Eight.

He knows he should stop staring at her, but again he finds himself captivated by the velvet brown eyes. What is it about these eyes, he wonders.

Five.

She bits her lip. Obviously something just came to her mind. He'd love to know what exactly…

Four.

And sooner than he thought his wish is being granted. "Okay, so, yes, I _have_ been avoiding you."

Three.

He manages to raise his eyebrow and look casual. "Any specific reason?"

Two.

For a short moment, she looks away. Then, "Yeah, well, every time I saw you I was afraid I'd end up doing this."

One.

Doing _what_, he wants to ask, but suddenly there's a chorus of "Zero!" coming from the mess hall and before he knows it he feels her lips on his. _Holy_… He doesn't hear the cheering and the laughing, because _inside_ of him there's a whole lot of other cheering going on. He _knows_ he should break this up – dammit, a minute ago they were talking about sexual harassment among co-workers – but it just feels so _good_.

Until _she_ breaks it up, that is. For a moment he fears she might be showing him another part of her reputation – the one that has to do with being a little explosion-happy – but then he sees her face lighting up in a smile that looks a little surprised. He wants to say something, although he doesn't quite know if it's an apology or something else, but again she beats him to it. "Happy new year… sir."

"Yep, the Lieutenant's taking the words right out of my mouth." As if burned, they automatically put more than a foot's distance between them and throw a glare towards the entrance. There, the one that's probably to blame for all of this is standing and pretending to look sheepish. "Oh… excuse me… I wasn't intruding on anything, was I?"

He wants to tell the Sergeant that he damn well did and that he should stop his meddling and mind his own business, but a look at Lieutenant… _Laura_ Cadman stops his train of thought. He can still feel her lips on his, but the most unsettling thing is that he wouldn't mind feeling that again. And again. And… again. He suppresses a sigh. Just another time when his initial impulse to bust Meyers back to Private is overruled by the somewhat frustrating insight that his Sergeant actually knew what he wanted earlier than he did.

"No, we were just… talking." Talking my ass, the Sergeant's face seems to say, but he knows when to shut up.

"Of course, sir. Anyway… I just wanted to, you know, wish you a happy new year and everything. And now I'll just… go back inside and… mind my own business." With that, Meyers disappears inside, too fast for him to say anything more. What the…? He looks beside him again and just sees the last remainders of what must have been a _very_ vicious glare. Whoa. He makes a mental note _never_ to do _anything_ that could make her look like this at him.

But then the look passes and she turns back to him. He rubs his neck, at first unsure of what to say, but then… he finds the words quite easily. "Alright… where were we? Oh yes…"


	8. 026 Teammates

**A/N:** Happy New Year everyone! I'm back from skiing (without breaking anything... yay me!) and have a belated Christmas present for you. That's the first "Top Gun" soundtrack plot bunny and actually a scene I would have _loved_ to see on screen just once (even without the Cadman/Lorne undertones ;)). Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it ;)  


* * *

Prompt: 026 Teammates

**Bodies working overtime**

"_Bodies working overtime  
Man against man  
And all that ever matters  
Is, baby, who's ahead in the game  
Funny but it's always the same."_

_Kenny Loggins, "Playing With The Boys"_

Some things, she thinks, are just too good to be true. For example the sight that presents itself to her right now. When she heard the sounds of fighting coming from the room, she'd risked a peek and been rewarded with something you don't get to see much even in Atlantis: Three seriously hot guys beating the crap out of each other, and having fun at that. And because they were so intent on what they are doing, they didn't see her sneaking in.

Now she's sitting in a corner by the window, her knees drawn to her chest and her eyes fixed on Colonel Sheppard, Major Lorne and Ronon Dex moving over the mats. Feet are flying through the air as Sheppard and Lorne both have a go at Ronon, but in one fluid motion he manages to bring Sheppard down with grabbing his foot and spinning him around and sending Lorne to the floor by breaking his balance with pushing the leg that was already in the air just a little higher.

Both men land on the floor and a smug grin appears on Ronon's face. He helps both of them up and immediately, they get into fighting stance again. She can see a short look passing between Sheppard and Lorne and is curious to see what that was just about. Without another delay, Sheppard goes for Ronon's throat with the edge of his hand. Ronon sidesteps the attack and Lorne uses this moment to grab Ronon's arm and let the big man's momentum do the rest.

He actually manages to bring Ronon down, but the Satedan is fast enough to drag Lorne down to the ground with him. Only his fast reaction saves the Major from being pinned down by Ronon as he rolls away at the right moment. No words are passed at that and Sheppard and Lorne simply high-five each other. Well done, indeed… letting Sheppard play the decoy and the Major go in for the kill.

They go on like this for another seemingly endless amount of time, usually two against one, effortlessly exchanging places and constellations. T-shirts are wet and sweat is making their faces shine. Sheppard is very openly smug when he manages to score a hit and looks sexy as hell when he's shaking the sweat out of his hair. Ronon and his dark looks and powerful moves are attractive as well. But it's Major Lorne that has somehow managed to captivate her.

Both Sheppard and Ronon are conventionally handsome – tall, well-muscled, openly self-confident – but only Major Lorne has the certain _something_ that catches her attention. He's not as tall as the other two, but he can stand his ground very well, making good use of his smaller stature. He's got a great body, at least from what she can see through the soaked t-shirt, but he does have disadvantages against the other two. However, he manages to counterbalance them very well. His moves are very economical and exact, most probably because he knows that he can't match Ronon in strength and Sheppard in height anyway.

He's also not letting on that he knows how good he is, like the other two. No teeth-flashing smiles or smug grins from this guy when he brings Sheppard or Ronon down. No, all the Major lets shine through are the hints of raising at the corners of his mouth or the slight tightening of the corners of his eyes. It makes her want to find the thing that cracks his reserve during a hand-to-hand combat exercise and see him flash a full out grin, just for once.

She's so fixed on watching this trio – and one of them just a little closer than the other two – that at first she doesn't realize that _they_ have finally seen they've got an audience. Only when Sheppard clears his throat she blinks a little and focuses her attention back on Atlantis' military CO. "Never thought you were the timid kind of girl, Lieutenant." Timid?

"Um… excuse me, sir?" Sheppard shrugs.

"Well, I take it you wanted to ask one of us for some individual hand-to-hand exercise." Wha… she looks at Ronon and Major Lorne. Ronon's face as he takes up his water bottle and sprays part of the contend over his head says very clearly what he'd think of her – a female soldier known for the pride she takes in wearing a Marine's uniform – if she tried to get out of this now.

Major Lorne, though, takes a sip from his bottle and surprises her with cracking a little cocky grin and… volunteering, "You can start with me, Lieutenant. I promise I won't go too hard on you." That… _bastard_. He _knows_ he just struck a very sensitive chord. There's _no way_ she can get around this now… and no way she _wants_ to get around this.

Okay, fine… obviously they don't want it any other way. Determined, she gets up. "I appreciate that, sir. That's why _I_ won't go too hard on _you_." That earns her mocking appreciative whistles and exclamations from the guys. Pah. They obviously still haven't learned never to underestimate a Marine's pride.

However, the Major knows better than to back down now, and as they get into fighting stance, it occurs to her that she's about to get up close and personal with the guy she just ogled the whole time. A certain kind of giddiness and anticipation wells up inside of her, and it only intensifies when she sees a glint in his eyes that tells her he's looking forward to this little fighting match as much as she is. She just has this feeling… that this is definitely going to be an encounter worth remembering.


	9. 083 And

**A/N: **Oh well... and here I give you my first shameless declaration of love to the city where I was born and raised in the disguise of something like a plot ;) Of course betaed by **mac** who was kind enough to bear with my slight fixation on the above mentioned city. Because this time the lyrics are in German, I included a translation at the bottom (which is not the best, because translating lyrics is not exactly my forte, sorry :S) for everyone who's interested.  


* * *

  
Prompt: 083 And

**You move me**

"_Ich kenn' dich in- und auswendig, scheint mir,__  
und all' meine Erinn'rungen verweben sich ganz mit deinem Namen und mit dir.  
Sie sagen, du tust gut,__  
ich glaube eher, du rührst mich, wühlst mich auf, wenn ich dich seh',  
du triffst mich tiefer, du gehst mir viel näher, du tust mir weh!"_

_Reinhard Mey, "Berlin tut weh"_

She knows she shouldn't do this. It's over and done, and there's nothing else she can do… or _should_ do. It's already been over half a year back, and she should have stuck to her resolution not to think about it anymore. She had done so well on that, the last six months. Right in the moment his door closed behind her, she had shut off her heart against anything that had to do with him. She could ignore her feelings when he passed her in the hallways of the SGC or when he gave her team a briefing. She was over him, already in the moment she left his place forever.

Well, at least that was what she told herself for six months… until this assignment. No retrieval op, no rescue mission, no first contact mission. In fact, a diplomatic mission. And not even to another planet, just another country. She wasn't even scheduled for this, but Captain Hawkins had caught some extraterrestrial virus, and someone up the chain of command thought it was a good idea to send _her_ along the diplomatic delegation to Berlin as his replacement. It's a top-secret conference on the European participation in the Stargate-program, and they told her that it would do her career good if she could prove herself on less bullet-heavy stages as well.

Up until the moment she saw who else was part of the accompanying military contingent, she even looked forward to going to Berlin. She'd never been to Germany, but the German soldiers, scientists and technicians she got to know in Atlantis assured her that it's a country worth visiting. Unfortunately the list of participants had totally spoiled her anticipation. _Major Evan Lorne_ it had said under the tag "Advisor USAF", and she had felt such a lurch in her stomach that she was almost sick.

A week in his vicinity, with almost no opportunity to get away from him… that had just been almost too much. But she just bucked up, packed a bag, went along the rest of the delegation. And right from the start… she felt watched. By him. She tried to catch him, but every time she threw him a look, he would be occupied with talking or writing or listening. All until… they were offered a tour through Berlin. The hosting German Department of Defense had given them two guides and because the city interested her she had opted to come along. As had _he_.

During the tour one of the guides – a Hauptmann going by the name of Christian Dühring – had started to take a particular interest in her and she had found herself returning his flirting almost naturally, because he was very easy to be with, spoke excellent English and made her feel… _special_. At first she hadn't really seen it, but when they stood on the roof of the Reichstag and Dühring took her aside to show her the hospital where he had been born – he called it the Charité – suddenly Evan stood beside her and the look he threw the Hauptmann was practically the _essence_ of dark. The only reason he didn't tell Dühring to back off even though he was junior in rank to Evan was probably that the German officer represented their host country.

Dühring, on the other hand, had simply refused to acknowledge the antipathy radiating off the US-American officer. The whole thing lasted about five minutes, and when Evan simply wouldn't go away and answered the German's remarks and questions with curt, polite answers, she'd excused herself because she just couldn't take any more of this.

Hadn't _he_ been the one to call it quits? Hadn't _he_ been the one to tell her he simply didn't feel anything for her anymore? It simply didn't make any sense for him to act like there had never been anything between the two of them for six months and then suddenly turn jealous at the first guy who saw more in her than just a fellow soldier.

After that, Dühring had offered her to show her a little more of the city than just the official sights, and she had taken him up on the offer, just to get away from Evan and the inexplicable dark looks.

He showed her glittering façades at Potsdamer Platz and rotten backyards in Mitte, looking like 80 years had passed without them changing a bit. He also showed her the spot where Stauffenberg had been murdered after the misfired attempt on Hitler's life during WWII, the ruins of the GDR prestige building Palast der Republik and even a part of the infamous Marzahn-Hellersdorf borough, said to be home only to German-Russian immigrants and neo-Nazis. She saw a city where even after decades wounds from civil war, occupation and separation can be seen still and where people are proud to say that no blow was hard enough for the city to succumb to oppression and destruction.

Dühring also gave her lots of attention during the long conference hours where he functioned as a kind of jack of all trades for the US delegation. And every time he did, she could feel Evan's eyes burn on her back. After three days he didn't even hide the looks anymore, and she wondered why the hell he didn't just come over and _talk_ to her. She sure as hell wouldn't do it, because she still had some pride left. No, _he_ was the one to break it all up and _he_ had to be the one to try and fix it.

Or at least that's what she thought until she realized that this would be the last evening before flying back to the US and that flying back to the US would also mean separate teams, separate schedules… At the start of this week, she thought she wanted to go back to that, to spare herself the hassle of having to see him again all too often, but while packing her stuff and mentally going through the week… she realized she doesn't _want_ separate schedules. She realized she wants him back, or at least that she wants to know what was behind all the dark looks and the attempts of scaring Dühring off.

There's also something visiting this city has taught her: Separation and grudges don't have to be forever. But it takes a lot to fight and overcome them… and most of all someone who _starts_ the fight. No one ever gave this city anything for free and it always had to struggle for what it needed, and if this city could do it, she can do it as well.

So now she's standing in front of his hotel room, and she knows she shouldn't do this. But if people always had done what they should do… Berlin, for example, would never be what it is today. Taking a deep breath she finally brings herself to raise her hand and knock at his door. At first nothing happens and she's ready to turn tail and never come back, but then the door opens. It reveals a Major in slacks and t-shirt, looking like he just got ready for bed, with his hair still wet from the shower and his feet bare.

Initially she had wanted to appear cool, tell him they needed to talk about his strange behavior and give him a piece of her mind about not having the right to do all of this, but when she sees him… her mind goes blank for a moment. Everything she wanted to say is suddenly replaced with just one sentence, because that's the only important thing anyway. "I… miss you."

For a moment, he just looks at her, his face closed off and inscrutable, and she's positive that he'll simply close the door and never even look at her again, but then… the mask slips and pain mingled with relief shows through. Without a word he steps aside to let her into his hotel room and hopefully into his life again.

* * *

"I know you inside out, it seems  
And all my memories are interwoven with your name and you.  
They say you do them good  
I rather think you move me, disturb me when I see you  
You strike me deeper, you affect me more, you pain me!"

Reinhard Mey, "Berlin hurts"


	10. 082 If

**A/N:** So while I'm enjoying my "Buffy"-DVD-Collection (yeah, yeah, showoff, I know), I thought I'd upload a second Berlin-story. It's a companion piece/sequel to "And", so it takes place in the same universe. Of course **mac** did a great job betaing it. If you get confused with the tenses I use... don't blame it on her, she tried her best to correct the mess I made ;) Oh, and I forgot with "And", so I'll say it now: Everything having to do with Berlin and German history is accurate, as far as I can tell (I did have to do a little research on Tempelhof and its USAF history, since I'm from East Berlin and we just lack the emotional connection West Berliners have with Tempelhof). If anyone wants some deeper information, just ask :)

* * *

Prompt: 082 If

**One without a permanent scar**

"_Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star  
One without a permanent scar  
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?"_

_Train, "Drops of Jupiter"_

He still wonders what he did to deserve this. If Fate had any sense of justice, the last evening of this trip would have never gone like it did. Instead, she would be kissing her German officer goodbye and promising him to call as soon as she has touched American soil. He just would have been forced to watch them and have send them dark looks, if there was any poetic justice in this world.

The way he behaved… he really would have deserved it. Just for breaking it up alone he would have deserved this special kind of hell… and for the _reason_ he gave her for breaking up he should have been forced to watch her and the German make out in public. For _hours_. Telling her there wasn't anything there for her anymore… to put it mildly, one could say it had been bending the truth. A _lot_. And without euphemisms it had been plain lying. But back then, he'd had the feeling that sometimes love just wasn't enough.

After that he'd tried to convince himself that he'd done the right thing for at least six months. Six months of seeing her in the SGC nearly every day, six months of passing the infirmary by and being tempted to go in every time she'd gotten herself in some scrape and had to pass time there, six months of feeling more like an idiot with every day. And then someone had had the strange idea to make him part of a delegation to Berlin, giving him the somewhat wishy-washy designation of "Advisor USAF".

He'd seen the order, shrugged and accepted it, much like he had simply shrugged and accepted just about everything those days. It hadn't been until Captain Hawkins had caught some virus that the whole thing had started to become… interesting. Just a few days before they had been scheduled to take off, the replacement for Hawkins had come through. The moment he'd seen the name _Laura Cadman_ on the list he'd just _known_ that Fate hated him and wanted to make it very plain to him that he was a damn coward.

The shock of seeing her name there had been intense enough to make him seriously consider asking to be taken off the delegation. Making her – and himself – believe he was fully over her and had indeed broken it all up because there was nothing there anymore had been comparatively easy in the SGC, where he could keep out of her way, but managing the same thing with her presence constantly nearby? It had seemed impossible, but his sense of duty had prevailed and he'd bucked up, packed a bag and gone along with the rest.

At first it had been going okay – ignoring her and the feelings she stirred up in him again – but the moment they'd touched German soil he'd found he simply couldn't stop looking at her whenever she was looking another way. The wish he was someone else – someone who hadn't seen so much death and destruction, who wasn't so damaged, who was _whole_ enough for her – had been burning inside of him again, even brighter than in the weeks before he'd finally succumbed to the doubts and fears inside of him and ended it, to make a clean cut, give her the chance to find someone else.

He just hadn't counted on the fact that the moment she did – or was at least close to – would be even more painful than letting her go. And of course it had had to be a man younger, bolder and more open than himself. It had happened right before his eyes and he'd seriously cursed his decision to go on the tour the German DOD had organized for them about a million times. Dühring and Laura had hit it off right from the start, with Laura needing little time to warm up to the German… but when she had, she'd been her usual flirtatious, charming self and the jealousy that had been simmering the whole time had suddenly been burning hot deep inside of him.

He still doesn't remember much of the tour… he only remembers he managed to chase off Laura _again_ on top of the Reichstag building when he just had to go and try and intimidate Dühring just a bit. The Hauptmann had been polite all throughout the exchange, but it did give him some satisfaction that he had managed to unsettle him, if even only a little. The only thing diminishing it had been the look Laura had thrown him before excusing herself and determinedly walking over to the other side. It had been… a mixture of annoyance, disappointment and confusion.

Somehow all of that – that look and the growing attraction between Dühring and Laura and a million other things – had thrown him off-course enough that he'd needed a day completely on his own, far away from the conference, Dühring, Laura and everyone else. Luckily they all had been given their last day off. He'd wanted to get as far away as possible from the DOD in the city center, because he knew that most of them would stay there and so he'd decided to do something he'd wanted to do for almost an eternity: Visit Tempelhof Airport.

His family has a long Air Force tradition. There have been Lornes serving in the USAF for almost as long as it exists. And one of them had been stationed in Berlin, on Tempelhof Airbase, from the end of WWII until 1950. His grandfather had seen how the USAF and the RAF bombed the city to oblivion but he had also been in the thick of the Berlin Airlift in 1948, had heard Ernst Reuter's famous speech – didn't understand a word of it, but he'd tell his children and grandchildren again and again about the people standing on the devastated grounds in front of the destroyed Reichstag and how hope had been soaring again on that September day – and had helped to keep a city from starving.

He'd simply wanted to see how the imposing building from his grandfather's old yellowed pictures really looked. And when he'd arrived there… he _had_ been impressed. He'd done a little research on Tempelhof before going to Berlin and so he knew that Tempelhof Airfield had been where Orville Wright had shown his flying apparatus to the world. He also knew it had been a prestige airport for the Nazis – the massive and somewhat exaggerated architecture spoke volumes of that – and that the last Wehrmacht airport commander had been brave enough to refuse the order to defend the airport, which was ultimately surrendered to the Red Army.

He'd been a little disappointed to see that today Tempelhof wasn't much more than a mediocre airport for a few charter planes and a few business travelers, since Tegel and Schönefeld now handled most of Berlin's national and international air traffic. But standing on the visitors platform and still being able to find traces of war, destruction and the Herculanean efforts the Air Force pulled in 1948 and 1949 to feed a city that had been fighting them viciously only three years prior had been worth the long, lonely trip to Tempelhof.

He'd also realized a few fundamental things. For example that scars are something that comes with living and something that one shouldn't be ashamed or afraid of. Theoretically he had always known that, but being with Laura had always made him feel like his own scars had somehow made him incomplete, not enough. He'd just never told her. Coming to Tempelhof – to _Berlin_ – made him see very clearly that it was all just bullshit. Berlin is a city full of scars and ugliness and remains of a past not exactly glorious and yet the people living there love it fiercely, like everyone loves their home town.

It had also taught him that everyone can get a second chance if they allow others to give it to them. On the trip back from Tempelhof to their hotel, he couldn't shake the feeling that he'd messed up royally because _he_ had been too blind to see Fate opening a way for him to get back. There surely had been enough opportunities for that and he hadn't taken any of them, mostly because he simply wouldn't let himself believe she'd _want_ him back. When he'd arrived at the hotel, he'd resigned himself to the fact that he had to give up his beautiful, intelligent, fiery Marine to a _German_, and somehow that had irked him to no end.

But then… she'd stood in front of his door, just like that, telling him she missed him. It had taken him a long moment to fully process everything and to see that _this_ was maybe the last second chance he'd ever get and he'd given himself a kick and let her in. And now he's standing here at Tegel Airport, watching her exchange a few parting words with Hauptmann Christian Dühring, and he has to try very hard not to look smug.

At least he doesn't have to throw any dark looks anymore. Of course he doesn't like the way Dühring just doesn't want to let her go, but last night had taught him to put a little more trust in her priorities. She has made her choice, given him a second chance and like hell is he ever going to mess it up again.


	11. 042 Triangle

**A/N:** And here we are with the last part of the Berlin Trilogy. I think I wrote that mainly because I can't stop listening to Rufus Wrainwright's "Tiergarten" (I just love the line "I have suffered shipwreck against your dark brown eyes") and because I felt that it needed a kind of coda, which this is. It's written from the perspective of a German, so if there are phrases here you want me to translate to you or things you'd like me to explain to you, just feel free to ask. I'll be happy to help you :) And thanks to **mac** for the betaing, even though she nearly had a heart attack reading this the first time ;)

* * *

Prompt: 042 Triangle

**To the other side**

"_Won't you walk me through the Tiergarten?  
Won't you walk me through it all, darling?  
Doesn't matter if it is raining,  
We'll get to the other side of town."_

_Rufus Wrainwright, "Tiergarten"_

"Treffpunkt für den Abmarsch ist in 15 Minuten am Abgeordneteneingang." The group of high ranking Luftwaffe, Heer and Marine officers in front of him nods and starts breaking up in smaller groups. One by one they all seek refuge from the biting cold in the enormous expense of the dome atop the Reichstag. He, however, stays outside. He's seen the dome and the view about a thousand times, and he never had a problem with the freezing weather Berlin can throw at you in late autumn – his mother likes to tell him it's the last offshoot of the dry freezing winter climate of the Russian plains and he fully believes that.

So he wanders over to the side of the Reichstag roof looking out over the Tiergarten, hunching his shoulders against the wind and reaching up to keep his beret in place. He leans down on the railing, looking idly left and right… and something catches his attention. Or rather someone. A couple a few meters away from him. She's standing at the railing and he's standing behind her, encircling her waist and giving her a kiss on her hair. She turns her head back to him and smiles at him, lighting up the whole cold and grey autumn's day.

It's something he gets to see constantly here and in the city, but this couple is special… because he knows them and he never would have thought he'd see either of them again. If it hadn't been for Laura Cadman's red hair flowing in the wind, he may have never recognized them because they appear so different now than from a year ago. A year ago… for a few days it had looked like _he_ might be in the place of the guy standing behind her, a man he has a few difficulties remembering the name of… oh, right, Major… something Lorne.

But obviously there had been more to them and anyway… how could he ever think a meager German Heer officer without any off-world experience could ever compete with a hardened USAF Special Forces officer with thousands of flying hours under his belt? And, much worse, probably a history of hundreds of missions and all the stuff that bonds you to each other in a way much tighter than just a shared hobby could ever do with the woman in question.

He'd thought about walking over to them and saying hi, but the thoughts and feelings that just welled up inside of him tell him he really should do himself and them a favor and just look the other way. Unfortunately… she has already spotted him. "Christian? Is that really you?"

Suppressing a sigh, he turns around again, putting on a mildly surprised face and a grin. "Well, what does it look like?"

They both come to stand in front of him, very close to each other but not quite touching. Lorne gives him a tight little smile, but he's surprised to see that the Major seems to have lost a bit of his very distanced and closed-off behavior. Laura… well Laura is still her charming, open self. "Anyway…" He tries looking friendly again. "What are you doing here?" Standing on top of a building and enjoying the view, du Vollpfosten, he tells himself, and did he just imagine it or was something like that crossing the Major's face for a very short moment?

Laura, though, seems to have either ignored it or not noticed it, because she says smiling a little smugly, "You'll never guess." Well… she's right. He's really absolutely clueless what anyone not born and raised here or forced to be here would want in Berlin in early November when everything is just bleak and cold. However, it's the Major who gives him the final clue as he just flashes his left hand with a slightly smug raise of his eyebrows.

Heilige… it's their _honeymoon_? Whoa. He wants to say something, but Laura seems to have noticed Lorne's very short gesture and lightly hits him on the arm, rolling her eyes and sighing, "Showoff." All the Major does is flash a grin that's almost boyish. Huh. That's clearly not the intimidating, glaring, brooding man he remembers from a year ago.

He clears his throat. "Anyway… you aren't honestly telling me _this_ is your honeymoon, right?" Laura is about to answer, but Lorne beats her to it.

"As a matter of fact, yes, it is." He can see that the Major has to put up an effort to appear civil, but it seems to come much easier to him than at their first encounter in this place. Like… he knows there's no real competition for him. And he's a little surprised to discover that there isn't, at least from himself. He still thinks Laura is attractive and he'd love to flirt with her a little, but a year of almost no contact has cooled off all actual serious intentions he had had.

But still… he is jealous. Not of Lorne, but of what they seem to have together. There had been _something_ between them the day he'd seen their group off in Tegel but now he can see so much more. It's in the way the Major's gaze softens whenever Laura smiles or in the way Laura stands as close to Lorne as she can. Or how she seems to be able to pick up the Major's train of thought almost effortlessly, just like now, as she adds, "I know what you're thinking. This…" she makes a general gesture towards the grey sky, "isn't really standard honeymoon weather and maybe not even a standard honeymoon location. But hey… we've got a… um… connection to this city."

A connection. Uh-huh. She's coloring slightly which _might_ be a result of the cold, but he's got this feeling that it has more to do with the "connection" she mentioned. For some reason… it makes him oddly proud of his city that something here was strong enough to make them return to probably the most unpleasant time of year you could visit and be… _happy_ here. "Anyway," she waves her hand dismissively, "I think I need something to warm me up. Anyone else want a coffee?" Both he and Lorne shake their heads. "They do have coffee to go over there, right?" She points to the Käfer restaurant on the other side and he just shrugs.

Funny enough, he has _no_ idea. He's been up here on maybe every possible occasion, but he never even once ventured inside that place, somehow always conscious of the fact that he just isn't a Käfer person. Rolling her eyes, she says, "Okay, okay, I'll go and have a look. Behave yourselves, guys." With that, she gives Lorne a small smile and is off to the restaurant.

It takes him a second or two to realize that suddenly he's alone with the Major. Dammit. Uncomfortable silence of doom. Until Lorne clears his throat, that is. No doubt for some small-talk nonsense. Suddenly the cold is starting to bite through the Pferdedecke… the Dress Greys' coat he's wearing and he can't help throwing a look at his watch to see how much time the brass still has until they are supposed to continue their Bundestag tour. "I know _you_ aren't, but I'm actually glad we met." He looks up again, startled. This is about the last thing he expected Lorne to say.

"Äh, wie bi… beg your pardon?" The Major smirks, so something must have been funny.

"I'd wanted to thank you, ever since that conference. If it hadn't been for you… maybe I wouldn't have realized that I made a pretty big mistake." Yeah, well, whatever _that_ is supposed to mean. How do you answer to something like that? Most of all if it's not in mocking? Really, there was only honest gratefulness in Lorne's tone. At least that confirms the theory he had had about the two of them. Lots of history… and lots of baggage, obviously.

A little embarrassed, he throws a look around and finally replies, "Yeah, well, that's us Army officers. Always helpful to you fighter jocks." Oops. Maybe that was a bit over the top, as the dark cloud that passes over Lorne's face tells him. Way to go, Herr Hauptmann, he thinks. Alte Großfresse.

But instead of giving him the same treatment Lorne gave him a year ago, he just rolls his eyes and says, "I'll overlook that because I'm on leave. But, seriously, Dühring… that city… is the best thing that ever happened to me. Be proud of it."

He finds himself grinning. "Oh, I certainly am." And then he remembers how US officers like their answers. "Sir." He was really _this_ close to say "Herr Major" instead of the correct answer. Good thing that sometimes he does think before talking. The Major gives him another tight smile. Before he can answer, though, Laura is back, without any coffee.

"You know, Christian, you really could have warned me about how _snobbish _that place is." She jerks her thumb back at the Käfer building and makes a mildly disgusted face. He shrugs apologetically.

"I could have told you I've never been inside, but I guess you wouldn't have believed me anyway." His gaze falls on the security gate that's the representatives' entrance to the Reichstag building and he's a little shocked when he realizes that the majority of the group of officers he is responsible for has already gathered there. Trying his best to look still relaxed, he adds, "Okay, uh… it was really nice to meet you two and everything, but I've still got a job to do. Wouldn't want to keep the old boys with the oak leaves waiting." Yep, and another time he put his foot in his mouth. If he remembers it correctly… the guy in front of him also wears oak leaves on his shoulders when he's on duty.

And yes, there's clouds again on Lorne's face, but Laura just has to laugh a little and touches his arm – such a casual and brief gesture, but he can see very well that it does have an effect on the Major – and his mood changes to forgiving. Then she turns back to him. "Well, then… we better not hold you off from taking care of the old boys. We need to get going anyway, since I could convince this Major here to walk along the Tiergarten a little." With that, they take their leave and he finally walks over to where his group is standing.

As he waits for all the officers to walk through the narrow security lock, he throws a look into the direction of the visitors exit and again he feels this strange jealousy from before coming up. There the newlywed Lornes are standing on the platform, all alone. Laura is tracing her finger along her Major's cheek and saying something. Even from his distance he can see a smile lighting up the Major's face that is open and warm. It's followed by a quick kiss and then they also turn to leave the roof.

Feeling a little like a voyeur he finally tears his gaze away from the couple and turns around to follow his group. As he nods to the desk officer of the security gate and enters the building, he finds himself smiling because he just realized that as awkward as the encounter had been, it had given him something. One day, he thinks, one day he will get to this side of the fence, too, when even people with as much baggage as those two can do it.


	12. 041 Shapes

**A/N:** This one is **asugar**'s fault, because she keeps reccing these incredible amost crack!fics on LJ (we'll just forget that no one actually _forced_ me to read any of them) and they obviously put me in a very silly mood. Honestly, I've known "Centerfold" for _ages_ and _nothing_ ever happened and then I read just a few stories and _this_ kind of pops up out of nowhere. Oh, and **mac** already called dibs on every time I'm mean to our favorite Major, so everyone wanting to comfort him for what I did to him in this story please line up in the queue ;)

PS.: And... where _is_ everyone? I miss you, guys :( (geez, clingy much? :P)

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Prompt: 041 Shapes

**Centerfold**

"_My blood runs cold,  
My memory has just been sold  
My Angel is the centerfold."_

_The J. Geils Band, "Centerfold"_

"Whoa, boy… I don't think I've ever seen something like this." Snickering and then guffawing. Does he really want to know what his Marines are talking about on the other side of the lockers?

"Actually, I have. In reality." Appreciative grunts and whistles. Okay, he starts to get a fairly good idea what this is going to be about. Just one more reason to get finished fast with changing.

"No way you've seen Cadman doing that _for real_." Wait… _Cadman_? Please someone tell him they are _not_ talking about Lieutenant Laura Cadman over there. He knows those voices. Miller, Grayson and Sonderberg, all of them Sergeants. He really hopes they're talking about someone else, because all of them are good at what they do and he'd hate to have to send them – and maybe Cadman as well – home because of… God, he really has a hard time fighting off all kinds of disturbing images.

"I'm telling you, man, I _did_. Sonny here did, too." Holy… it's just accidental that he leaned against his locker's door. He doesn't need it as a support, honestly. "We both did, and she was _amazing_." Amazing? Think of puppies… cute, little, fluffy puppies…

"I don't believe a word." He wholeheartedly agrees with Miller, just for the sake of those Sergeants and Lieutenant Cadman. "Honestly, I bet you're just making it up. No way she could… I mean… you got any proof on that?" He actually prays neither Grayson nor Sonderberg do, but to his near horror he hears the flapping of paper drifting over and then the sharp intake of breath, probably from the disbelieving Miller.

"Holy Mother of God… you took these without her even noticing? However did you do that? Way to go, guys." _Without her noticing?_

"Yeah, well… got a little help from the IT department to fiddle a little around with the city's security cameras." What the…? But at least that lets Cadman off the hook. Unfortunately it makes the Sergeants' predicament even graver. Spying on an officer while she's… no, better not go there. Fellow officer, fellow officer, beautiful woman… _fellow officer_! And dammit, the IT department is involved as well? He _so_ has to talk to Sheppard and Colonel Carter about this, although he dreads all the dressing downs that are going to follow. "Anyway… look at that one. Great perspective, isn't it?"

He knows he should be interrupting _right now_, but for some reason he feels rooted to the spot. Most probably it's the horrification at discovering how low morale obviously has sunk at least in parts of the Marine contingent. "Whoa, those are great. Look at the size of them! And perfectly shaped. She's really got it, that's for sure." Do _not_ start to hyperventilate now, he forcibly reminds himself. You're an officer, a career soldier and you are a mature man in your mid-thirties, not a teenage debutante. You can handle dirty minded Marines who have apparently lost every respect for at least one of their officers.

After shutting his locker's door _very_ carefully so as not to alarm the three men on the other side, he walks around the row of lockers. Positioning himself with his feet slightly apart and the arms crossed in front of his chest, he slightly clears his throat to announce his presence to the only half-dressed unsuspecting Marines. Immediately, they all turn around… and they don't even have the decency to blush. He narrows his eyes, only a little. "Gentlemen, I'd recommend you to hand these pictures over _right now_."

For a moment, they only look at him, almost gaping. Sonderberg is the first to recover. Looking a little confused he says, "Uh, sir, we were just looking at Lieutenant Cadman's…"

God, he doesn't even want to know which part of Cadman's anatomy they were looking at. "That was an _order_, Sergeant."

Sonderberg looks at Miller and Grayson who are both giving their fellow Sergeant slight shrugs and a little reluctantly, Sonderberg comes over and hands him a stack of paper. He'd intended to simply let them hand over the contraband and then immediately leave the room, but their strange behavior did get to him and so he doesn't look at the pictures out of respect for Cadman, but simply holds them up and says, "Alright, _what_ were you thinking? Although _I_ seriously doubt you were thinking anything _at all_."

Even more confused, they are looking at each other again. What the _hell_ is going on here? In the end, Grayson is man enough to explain it to him. "With all due respect, sir, we were studying Lieutenant Cadman's expert way of creating controlled explosions. We were admiring her ability to manage the biggest possible explosion with a very low amount of C4 and her very precise detonations." He's about to shout the Sergeants to pieces… when his brain registers what Grayson just said.

Explosions? C4? Detonations? He actually has to blink and then he slowly takes down the pictures to finally have a look at them himself. And yeah… there's Laura Cadman with a team from the Dynamite Squad, setting up small charges on little makeshift platforms off the South Pier… completely clothed in standard Atlantis BDUs. Uh-oh. He looks at the Marines again. All three are giving him the stoic inscrutable soldier face which is a dead giveaway that they're just waiting for him to leave the room to start roll around laughing. And they have every right to do that.

There's really _no_ way for him to get out of this with at least a minimum of dignity. "Of course. If either of you is interested, I could arrange a cross-training session with the explosives department." And in return you all keep your traps shut about this little scene here, he mentally adds. The barely concealed smirks his Marines give him tell him that they understood this perfectly well.

Grayson speaks up again. "We'd be most thankful and honored, sir." He just nods and is about to hand back the pictures to Sonderberg when he remembers that little quip about the IT department and rigging the city's security cameras. He's sure Colonels Sheppard and Carter will be most interested in this little piece of information.

"Very well. Carry on, Sergeants."

The three Marines throw him a crisp salute and answer with a perfectly synchronized "Yes, sir!" Okay, get out of here, as fast as you can and as fast as it doesn't cost you any more of your dignity.

He's nearly made it to the door, when he suddenly hears someone clearing his throat behind him and then Miller saying, "Sir, if I may say so… I'm sure Lieutenant Cadman will appreciate to hear how concerned you are about her honor." Resisting the urge to take a deep breath, he turns around again.

"And _I_ will appreciate if Lieutenant Cadman doesn't even get to hear how concerned I am about her honor. Did I make myself clear?" He _knows_ it's futile to try and prevent this from spreading because it'll get around faster than the _Daedalus'_ FTL drive, but he can still make an effort, right?

Miller nods. "Crystal, sir." Well then, now that they've gotten this clear… it's really time to find a nice secluded place to cool down and smack his head about a thousand times for being such an idiot. Maybe… he will try the South Pier today.


	13. 015 Blue

**A/N:** First of all, thanks to **mac** for betaing this although she keeps having this little "UCMJ!" voice in her head ;) Second: Yeah, okay, technically this isn't SGA, since "The Road Not Taken" was an SG1-episode (but a damn fine one, and not only because a certain Major looked very hot in it), but let's all not be nitpicks, right? Anyway, I've had this dormant RNT bunny ever since watching it, and then along came "The Fine Art of Self-Destruction" by triplesnap on sg_rarepairings over on LJ (great story!) and the dormant bunny became a live one. Which produced lots of other little bunnies... so, question: Does anyone want me to do another Fanfic100 piece in this universe or something multi-chaptered? Or none at all? Tell me.  


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Prompt: 015 Blue

**I will stay**

"_If e__veryone goes away, I will stay__  
We push and pull  
And I fall down sometimes  
And I'm not letting go  
You hold the other line  
Cause there is a light in your eyes, in your eyes."_

_Mat Kearney, "Breathe In, Breathe Out"_

So the world has been saved by Samantha Carter. Again. But she knows at least two men for whom the world could have ended for all they know. There is, for one, Cameron Mitchell, former war hero, now a broken man. They think people have forgotten about him at the SGC, but at least _she_ hasn't. She still remembers his laugh and his blue eyes and his self-assuredness that always bordered on cockiness. But they had broken him and she never could get up the courage to seek him out and tell him that _she_ always believed in him. And who was she, anyway? Just one Lieutenant among many. He wouldn't remember her anyway.

However, there's also Major Lorne, her new CO. Ever since the Samantha Carter from the alternate reality went back again and left them alone with the void of her presence – _their_ Major Carter truly never made it back – he'd been… different. She had known him from before, when she was on one of the 'Gate security teams, from all-base briefings, Christmas parties, all the things you see your co-workers at and have small-talk with them.

He'd always been one of those officers that were good sports; not letting the junior ranks feel how much more experienced they were, somehow naturally making them part of the team. He'd also been… well, not exactly the life and soul of every party, but someone who wasn't averse to a little banter. Kind of quiet, but with a decent sense of humor. Demanding, yes, but that's to be expected of their most prestigious team's leader.

And for a few weeks now, she has been part of this team as well. She still has no idea why it was her they chose to fill in the empty spot after Major Carter vanished – she still can't bring herself to say _died_, not even in her head – but she had stopped questioning orders too closely already long ago. So she's on this team and she gets to see Major Lorne up close and personal nearly every day and… it's getting harder to watch him by the day.

He's dutiful and demanding and quiet as ever, but there's something… missing. Like when Carter left, a part of him left as well. She had no idea _how_ close SG1's two leading officers were, but she knows that they _were_ close. Everyone on the base does, which is why she's wondering if she's really the only one seeing how much all of this is affecting him… and the only one starting to get worried about it.

Yes, great changes have been happening all around – civil liberties being restored one by one after _massive_ protestations, the US mending their diplomatic fences, both on Earth and in the Galaxy, even martial law being abandoned – but she is almost ashamed to say that for her the grand scheme of things had been… not half as important as what keeps happening in the micro cosmos of her team.

Every time they come back from a mission and he denies all invitations to share a beer with the other two and her, she feels like she's the only one seeing more behind this than just trying to maintain a professional distance between CO and team. Maybe it's because the other two came here after the alternative Carter's big success… and never knew Major Carter and Major Lorne together. She had thought about talking to the guys about this more than once, but she always ended up with deciding against it, because what she _really_ wants to do is talk to _Major Lorne_.

No, scratch that. She doesn't want to talk. She wants to shout at him, jump him, anything to make him see that there's someone who knows he's missing Major Carter and who _cares_ about him missing Major Carter. Someone who cares about the blue eyes that seem to stare off into space all too often, someone who cares about the quiet suffering radiating off him… someone who can't bear to see others suffer alone.

She's been thinking about this for nearly a week now, turning over all pros and cons, weighing her status as the most junior rank on the team and the only woman against the feeling of urgency this is starting to get and about a thousand other things. She'd been trying to find ways to make him talk and see that he doesn't have to be alone in this, but simply found none. How do you approach someone so infinitely more experienced, so highly decorated, so… unapproachable?

Half the time she feels like she doesn't even have the right to think about this, because it's his pain, and his alone and she should just mind her own business. But then… she sees him in the mess hall or in the briefing room or on a mission, and ever so often his gaze would stray or his face would become a mask and she knows that something must have reminded him of Major Carter and of the void she left behind. It shouldn't stay like this forever that much she knows. In fact… it _can't_ stay like this forever. The team needs a CO, not just the shell of a man.

With an inarticulate growl, she shoves all her notes and clippings nearly off her desk and makes her half-empty coffee cup tumble to the ground. The sound of it hitting the stone floor and shattering is even somehow satisfactory. And it also kind of wakes her up. Before she knows it, she has stormed through the SGC and knocked on Major Lorne's door. Giving her no time for second thoughts he answers from inside, and for a moment her courage threatens to leave her right in the lion's den when he looks up from his paperwork and gives her a look that's not quite an irritated glare. Everything she'd wanted to say is suddenly lodged firmly in her throat. "Something you wanted to say, Cadman?"

She swallows. It feels like… this is her point of no return. Either she finally pipes up or she'll be forever forced to watch this man cocooning himself in his pain and building up walls. She takes a deep breath, takes a step forward and sits down in the chair in front of his desk. Before he can point out that he did _not_ offer it to her, she manages to say, "With all due respect, sir… I think we need to talk."

And he just leans back, somehow having realized immediately that this isn't about a mission report or a request for leave of absence. She's afraid that he will simply throw her out, but… after a moment where his face looks _absolutely_ inscrutable, he closes his eyes… and nods. As he opens his eyes again, she thinks that for a moment… she saw gratefulness that _someone_ finally forced him to do this in them. Well, she thinks, it's a start after all.


	14. 024 Family

**A/N:** Another plot bunny that produced lots of other bunnies, mainly because the backstory is interesting and moving enough to suffice for at least one multi-chaptered story. But alas... too many stories, too little time ;) Betaed by **mac** who has my eternal admiration and gratefulness for sacrificing her spare time and patience for all the errors I still keep making ;)

And good news for everyone waiting for new chapters for "Minor Characters": I just finished "A little change" and might take up its sequel in the next few days. I already know it's going to be much more action-based than "A little change"... aaand... Major Lorne will make an appearance again, that's for sure ;) Oh, and I finished one of my RNT bunnies. I decided to post this one under the Fanfic100 and post the rest - should I ever get there - as a multichaptered story (or stories, depending on how it will develop). How's that?

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Prompt: 024 Family

**You keep moving on**

"_Another ditch in the road  
You keep moving  
Another stop sign  
You keep moving on  
And the years go by so fast  
Wonder how I ever made it through."_

_Savage Garden, "Two Beds And A Coffee Machine"_

Good old Andrews AFB. How nice to touch down there after four days at Cheyenne Mountain. It's in the middle of the night, it's raining cats and dogs, and he's still got half an hour's drive until he's home. Cursing, he runs through the rain to his car. In times like these he wishes Homeworld Security and the DOD would be settled somewhere else than Washington, D.C. San Francisco, for example. Or maybe Tucson. Somewhere warm and dry… ah hell.

Anyway… no use complaining. Driving home through the rain, another rainy night comes to mind, six years ago. Back in Colorado Springs, a year after he came back from Atlantis. He'd decided to stay with the SGC, at least for another year, after his promotion to Lieutenant Colonel came through finally. Missions, paper work, training… life had been routine, but it had been okay.

And then, suddenly, life had been turned upside down. He'd been at home, watching TV… when someone rang his doorbell. Grumbling a little, because he didn't expect anyone, and his place hadn't been exactly _tidy_, he'd gone to the door… only to find a soaking wet Laura Cadman with a little boy of maybe two on her arm and another one of about four years beside her, and a black eye in her face.

Not knowing what to say, he could only stare at her and after a moment of shocked silence, she'd simply said, "I'm sorry, Evan… but yours was the only place we could have come to." Without a word, he had let them in, and seeing that her boys were already half asleep, he'd offered to put them in his bed.

Aw, dammit, stupid traffic lights and stupid rain, keeping him from getting home fast. It's been four days at the Mountain, filled with conferences and meetings and small talk, and the only thing he wants to do now is come home, get into bed and sleep for at least the next ten hours. Huh. Being a desk jockey has made him soft, apparently. Or maybe crossing the 40. Or maybe…

His thoughts return back to that night six years ago. After putting her sons to bed, Laura had collapsed on his couch, like the armor that had kept her upright until this moment had just disappeared and stopped to support her. She'd just sat there, very silent, very still… no crying, just having her face in her hands and trying to keep breathing. For a moment, he'd wondered if that really _was_ Laura Cadman there and not just some woman who happened to look like her. Because that certainly wasn't the officer he knew from Atlantis and the casual, but steady exchange of calls and letters that followed her leaving the base, until maybe a year before this surprise night visit… when his tour in Atlantis had ended.

He'd never gotten behind why she had simply stopped writing and calling, just when there had been finally a chance when he could have gotten to know the man she'd married and the sons she'd given birth to during the time he had still been on Atlantis. He'd tried e-mail, letters, phoning her at home, at her base, on her cell… even had considered driving all the way down to where she was stationed at, but rejected that thought, because he'd started to get the feeling that for some reason he couldn't – and at that time didn't want to – fathom why she simply didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore.

And then… when he'd come to accept that he would never hear anything from her again, she had come to his door, all soaked through, with her sons in tow and looking like she just lost a bar fight. After some more minutes passing in silence he'd gotten up the nerve to ask what the _hell_ was going on.

As it had turned out, her husband had always had a jealous tendency and a disposition for a volatile temper – not sparky like hers, but darker and more violent, but had been able to keep it under wraps more or less for the first three years of their marriage. Then, by some stupid accident, that husband had found one of his e-mails to Laura, and obviously he'd… snapped, because until then Laura had kept everything under wraps, knowing her husband would never let her continue this exchange if he knew about it.

What had come then… had been a very painful account of a year in hell for Laura and to a lesser degree for her sons as well. She'd always tried to protect them, shield them away from what was happening between their parents, keep up the façade for them and the neighbors and her boss… and practically everyone around her. Still today he doesn't really understand why someone like her hadn't acted a _lot_ earlier.

Gripping the wheel a little tighter because the wish to give that man what he deserves has never really left him, he takes the exit to the suburb where he's living. Almost home, he thinks and feels the familiar tug of homesickness you only get when coming back. Only four days away and he's still so very relieved to get back. And yes, there it is. The house he bought four years ago and he'll hopefully pass on to his kids one day. Everything is dark, but that was to be expected at nearly midnight. He doesn't bother to park his car properly, simply stops in front of the garage and sprints to the door through the still ongoing rain.

Inside, he doesn't even take off his soaked uniform jacket, but walks up the stairs. The first door he opens is that of Marcus, his eldest. The ten-year old has fallen asleep secretly reading again and gently he takes the book and the flashlight away from under his son's head. The boy stirs a little and he runs his hand over his son's hair. Softly he closes the door again and walks over to Andrew's room.

The eight-year old is sleeping soundly, and that's a relief to him. Over the last six years the boy has had bad spells of nightmares and spending the night awake again and again, being the most sensitive of his three children. They have lessened with growing older, but they never really disappeared and he's still glad for every night his son doesn't have to pass with being reminded of what happened six years ago. Very softly, he caresses Andrew's cheek and is delighted to see a small unconscious smile appear on his face.

The next room he shortly pays a visit to is Kate's room. With a smile he enters to see his almost five year old daughter clutching her favorite stuffed penguin. He loves his sons very much, but his little girl… will always be special to him. Not because she's his biological daughter and not adopted like her two brothers, but because… she's simply daddy's little girl. Already they can see that she's very much like him, although she looks like her mother, and he knows he'll always share a special bond with her. He bends down to give her a kiss on her forehead and leaves the room again as not to wake her up – she shares Andrew's sensitiveness to a certain degree, but one of the rare feats she inherited from her mother is the tendency to hide it with a tough attitude.

Before he enters the bedroom he shares with his wife, he gets rid of the stiff Dress Blues and changes into his usual night attire. And then, finally, it's time to go to bed. As he lays down beside her, she stirs and after a moment of disorientation, she recognizes who just came home. He's sure that she's displaying a little sleepy smile in the dark, as she says, "How was the Mountain, Colonel?"

He smiles back and puts his arms around her to draw her closer. "Busy as always. How was the DOD, Major?"

He feels her settle down her head on his chest and the feeling of being _home_ is now so strong that it's constricting his throat for a few moments. "Bureaucratic as always. By the way, Marcus passed his math test and Kate wants to show you her newest picture. Andrew… had a little trouble sleeping through the night the first two days you were away. Oh, and he was really nervous you wouldn't make it back for his birthday."

"Would I ever do that?" Of course he wouldn't. He makes a point of never missing neither Laura's nor his children's birthdays, no matter how busy things are at Homeworld Security, just like Laura makes a point of not letting her posting at the DOD dictate her life so much she doesn't do anything else than working.

"Well, there was this one year where you…" She squeals and sounds a lot younger than her actual 35 as he lightly tickles her sides.

"Careful, Major." he playfully admonishes her, and he's sure that she's sticking out her tongue to him the dark.

"Ain't I always?" He wants to say something, but her lips land lightly on his mouth to shut him up. "_Not_ a word from you." Instead of answering her with words, he reaches up to thread his hand into her hair and kisses her back. Ah, he really missed that… missed her. Even after all those years he isn't fully over his fear that one day, her ex-husband will catch up with them and take away everything from him that has come into his life back on that rainy night in Colorado Springs six years ago.

He shares a nice, long welcome-back-kiss with Laura that leaves both of them satisfied when they break it up. After a few moments of companionable silence, she simply drops a light kiss on his chest and says, "You can still brood tomorrow. Sleep, Evan." His only response is hugging her a little tighter to him and closing his eyes.

But he doesn't fall asleep right away, as his thoughts keep coming back on how everything has turned out for him… for _them_. Yes, they have had their troubles. Marcus had taken his time with warming up to him… and not to mention that _Laura_ had needed quite some time to open up to him and be ready for something more with him. And then there had been the time when they had been expecting Kate. Marcus had just become accustomed to the idea that this new man in his mother's life could be a father to him, even if he didn't share his blood when suddenly a new child was about to become a part of their family.

Although still very young back then, Marcus had sensed that there was a difference between him and Andrew and the little half-sister they were about to get. It had taken him nearly a year before coming to terms with the existence of Kate and realizing that to his adoptive father, it would never make a difference who of his children only share his name and who shares his blood.

The whole ordeal – and all the other major and minor ones about all the little things families like his could stumble upon – had taught him a few things he never thought he'd have to learn. The most important one, he thinks as he finally drifts off to sleep, is that family isn't about names or even about blood. It's about belonging and accepting and ultimately… loving. And love they have enough.


	15. 035 Sixth Sense

**A/N:** I guess most readers here are familiar with my "Protect and Survive"-series and my "Defining Moments"-one-shots. This one takes place between "Might just save your life" and "Raising the stakes" and is also a kind of bridge between the two universes. I'd really wanted to write it, but it didn't really fit in the pieces already published, so I decided to make it a Fanfic100-piece. Hope that's okay with you. And of course it's betaed by **mac** who is a real role model, because she still manages to correct my stuff although she already seems to have an insane workload ;)

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Prompt: 035 Sixth Sense

**Same old song**

"_Same old song,  
Just a drop of water in an endless sea.  
All we do  
Crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see._

_Dust in the Wind  
All we are is dust in the wind."_

_Kansas, "Dust in the Wind"_

Sometimes… it feels like he's living in two different dimensions. It sounds stupid, but that's just how it feels. Like he's living in his timeline, but sometimes it feels like pictures or sounds from another timeline seem to be interfering with it. Just for a moment, so fleetingly that he only realizes it felt like this when they are gone, but they are there. He knows that this is either a case for Rodney or their new base psychiatrist, but he has no intention of telling either of them.

It's been like this ever since he returned from his little trip into the future because of some "glitch in the program", as Rodney has called it. And ever since then, he has acquired just another reason for insomnia and wandering around the base in the late evening. Often enough it takes him to the mess hall, because he likes the wide open windows and the illusion of being not fully alone, even when it's deserted, simply because there _could_ be someone coming in at any given moment.

So he isn't surprised when he finds himself in the entrance of the mess hall just another time. What surprises him, though, is finding someone else in the mess hall. Major Lorne. Who would have thought.

As he looks at his 2IC, suddenly another picture overlays his sight, only for the fraction of a second. But it's clear enough that it nearly burns itself into his memory. It's not much… just a glimpse of a man in Air Force Dress Blues standing in front of a headstone in Arlington… looking like a broken man. And that man is Major Evan Lorne. He blinks. Good _God_, he really needs to see someone about this.

For a moment he hesitates walking up to Lorne, who's standing at the railing of the empty mess hall, unaware of who is watching him. But he's been trying to catch Lorne in a quiet moment for nearly two weeks, and now is the best opportunity he's probably going to get. Maybe he'll now find out what's bothering Lorne so much that his usual matter-of-fact nature has been replaced with a kind of wound-up jumpiness. He's got an inkling as to what – or rather who – could be the reason for this, but he wants confirmation, at least indirectly. Hoping he won't get another disturbing image, he walks up to him. "Evening, Major."

Lorne jumps a little and nearly drops the cup of tea he's cradling. He clears his throat and gets back to his usual serious bearing. "Evening, sir." Well… so far, so good. He has acknowledged him. But… how to go on? He's always found it a little hard to find access to Lorne when it was about stuff that isn't strictly business. His 2IC is a good officer – sometimes he feels like he's a better officer than himself – and a good man, but he's also a very private man.

He considers taking a careful approach as not to startle Lorne and drive him even farther into his shell, but in the end his rather blunt nature wins and he wants to say something, but Lorne beats him to it. "Sir… permission to ask you something?"

He shrugs. "Sure. What is it?"

Lorne takes his time, obviously because he isn't quite sure if he should really say something or not. Then, "Sir… that future you got told about… was there anything _good_ in it?" That does take him by surprise a little. Lorne of all people asking something about the future the Rodney from the alternate timeline told him about… is a little strange. After all, Lorne was the only one _not_ fretting about being excluded from the in-depth debriefing of that, saying that he preferred ignorance over everything else in these matters.

He looks at his 2IC again… and another alternate version of the Major appears in front of his eyes, for a second or two. Again in Dress Blues, but this time… he's smiling, and his whole concentration is on the woman in white in his arms… a red-head… it's _Cadman_. And yes, he remembers the future Rodney mentioning something along the lines… So, if this is _really_ a clue to the incidents in that other timeline, Rodney wasn't the only one marrying a fellow member of the expedition crew. He wonders if the first picture and this on have anything to do with each other, but for the sake of the Major and himself he chooses to ignore it and don't make any connections. "Yes. Yes, there was."

Lorne nods to himself. "Think any of that could happen here as well?" Rodney McKay and Jennifer Keller? A few weeks ago he would have said "Not fucking likely.", but now he's not so sure anymore. He couldn't get much out of either of them… and it seems Ronon wants to have a say in this matter as well. Ah, better not start thinking about this now. Only gives him headaches every time he tries it.

As for Lorne and Cadman… he's not really sure. He's seen the two of them together, dancing around each other from the day she arrived back here – he has his suspicions about the two staying in touch after she left last time and about who it was that made her come back – and although everyone, maybe even including herself and the Major, thought she'd get back together with Carson Beckett, he always had his doubts about that. There had just been too much… _something_ between Cadman and Lorne. However, for some reason he doesn't understand that seems to have turned into a _bad_ something somewhere along the way… two weeks ago, to be precise. And he's here to fix it… or at least give Lorne a little push towards fixing it himself. "With a little luck… yeah. What makes you ask, Major?"

Lorne shrugs and purses his lips. "Just curious. Not about the details… but about the general thing. Makes keeping up hope a little easier." That it does. And now that the Major has opened up a little to him, he feels safe enough to go in for the kill.

"How's Cadman, by the way?" Hit and sunk. At the mentioning of the Lieutenant's name, Lorne's walls are up again _immediately_. He _knew_ he was on the right track.

"Okay… far as I know." Yeah, Major, go and try sound totally impartial about it.

"Far as you know? What happened to reading bedtime stories?" Let's see how far he can push Lorne.

"I'd rather not talk about it, sir." Oh well… better not push him _that_ far again, because he really doesn't want to alienate his 2IC. However, there _are_ a few business issues that have to be cleared up.

"Same as you don't want to talk about why it always feels like the temperature's dropping a few degrees when you and Carson are in the same room?"

"Exactly, sir." The Major turns away from him, obviously embarrassed that someone noticed. And that this someone happens to be his _CO_ of all people. Whatever happened with the three of them – Cadman, Lorne and Beckett – it seems that none of them is willing to rip the band-aid off and get it out in the open. But he doesn't want conflicts like this to simmer among the people in his city.

"Well, then… better mend your fences with these two, and fast. You know who you're scheduled with for tomorrow's mission, right?" In fact… it's not exactly a coincidence that the security detail accompanying Carson to a medical visit to one of their trading partners consists of one of the Marine Sergeants… and Cadman and Lorne. The idea had come to him out of the blue, but then he couldn't shake it off anymore, and so he'd given in and filed the suggestion with Mr. Woolsey – without the real reason behind it, of course – and Woolsey had simply approved of it.

"Absolutely, sir." Does he detect a note of insecurity in Lorne's voice? Well, that would be a first.

"Good. I expect you for debriefing the evening after tomorrow." The Major nods, relieved that they are back in terrain they both know how to treat in.

"Yes, sir." He wants to add something… _some_ hint at how he thinks the Major's chances with Cadman are, but for that it's simply not the right time, yet. Lorne wouldn't take such an invasion of his private space all too well, and he needs to be a little careful, if he wants his 2IC to ever open up a little more to him.

"And enjoy your little camping trip, Major. I hear the caves are great for rock collectors." Ah, finally a smile on Lorne's face. A little reluctant, but still there.

"They're called geologists, sir. You want me to get you something special?" The slight grin on the Major's face surprises him a little. He simply can't get used to that man showing his dry sense of humor in the most unsuspected moments.

"Nah, not for me. Try and find something nice for Torren, though, would you?" If the Major is surprised at this request, he sure is good at hiding it.

"Course, sir. Anyway… have to call it an evening, now. I've got a mission tomorrow." Is that a little payback for reminding him of who's on his team tomorrow?

"Night, Major." Lorne just nods.

"Night, sir." With that, the Major turns to leave the mess hall, but he decides to stay just a little while longer, satisfied that at least one issue is starting to get settled. Now, if clearing up the possible mess between two members of his team could be cleared up as easily… and of course, not to mention his _own_ mess…


	16. 047 Heart

**A/N:** Number one of my two John-Denver-bunnies. Betaed by **mac** who really rocks :) And yeah, I know that the song is cliché, but our Major is a flyboy... it was bound to happen, wasn't it? ;)  


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Prompt: 047 Heart

**Kiss me and smile for me**

"_So kiss me and smile for me  
Tell me that you'll wait for me  
Hold me like you'll never let me go  
'cause I'm leaving on a Jet Plane  
Don't know when I'll be back again."_

_John Denver, "Leaving on a Jet Plane"_

She knows she shouldn't fret. It's his job, and she knew what she signed up for when she let a flyboy into her life. It doesn't only mean having to deal with exuberant egos, loads of plane techno babble but also sometimes the realization that you will always only be second in his life, always surpassed by the love for big buckets of steel and glass. Not that Evan is one of _those_ flyboys.

No, _her_ competition is much more immaterial. Dedication, commitment, sense of duty. And yeah, well, to a slight extent the thrill of speed. Dammit, _no_ fretting, she admonishes herself. After all, those four things are what drew her to Evan in the first place, even the more hidden inclination for everything fast – when she had finally discovered that, that is. And those four things are what _still_ draw her to Evan, but… all of that doesn't make it any easier to bear that every time he goes off on some F-302 mission all she can do is sit around and wait for him to come back.

It hasn't been easy in the past because she hates feeling like the damsel of the castle having to watch her knight ride off to his adventure while she has to stay behind and mind the hearth. She became a Marine because she always wanted to be the knight, not the damsel and suddenly she found herself in the exact same position she never wanted to be in. Normally she could always deal with it, distract herself, sneak on the roster so that she got more off-world missions than usually… but that was before he… well… just _before_.

She has slipped into the control room _again_ to see if there is any news on the _Daedalus_ but its status is still unchanged – in combat above one of their allied planets, unable to tell them about casualties, because their communication array is still out. As she observes the silent business in the control room, the thing she doesn't want to remember comes back to her.

A few hours earlier, they had gotten a distress call from an allied planet about some Hive attacking, and because the _Daedalus_ had been in the system, they had sent her off. For some reason, they had been short on pilots, so every available Atlantis pilot had been commissioned to the _Daedalus_. When he told her he would lead the contingent, she'd wanted to plead with him not to go, because – and yes, she knows how stupid that sounds – she had a very bad feeling about this, but like always she'd simply swallowed and put on her game face, joking around and making believe to be a little jealous of the F-302 he would be flying.

And then, when he'd been almost out of their quarters, he'd turned around again, walked up to her and given her a very thorough kiss, as if… as if he had the same bad feeling she could feel deep inside of her. He'd kissed her and… trying to sound casual, he'd simply said, "By the way… marry me, Dynamite?"

It had come so out of the blue that she'd been speechless, just for once in her life. Before her mind had remembered how to form words again, he'd given her a lop-sided grin and exited the room, not waiting for her answer.

Now, a few hours later, she suspects it was his way of avoiding having to deal with a possible rejection right before a difficult mission, but she wishes he wouldn't have asked that at all. Because, dammit, now she knows how she would have answered… how she _will_ answer it. Ignoring the feeling of dread deep in the pit of her stomach, she tells herself he _will_ come back, that he's not one of those dots on the screen that flickered and then disappeared but one of those that are steadily blinking and moving.

Everyone in the control room is concentrating on the big screen, and their faces tell her that it's not looking good. She feels fear putting its clamps around her heart and fights a silent battle against a future without Evan already unfolding in her mind. She will _not_ succumb to Doomsday scenarios in her head that won't come true anyway. She will… "Lorne here… lost my… going down…" Oh God. Ohgodohgodohgod. Right now, she _hates_ Fate and the universe and their perverse crappy sense of humor.

The tension in the control room has erupted into busy commotion, because suddenly the _Daedalus_' communication array is online and at least partially broadcasting again. Status reports are flooding the stations, tactics are exchanged, orders are issued… but she doesn't really register all of that. The fear that she could fight back successfully until now has her in its grip and hits her hard enough that she slides down the wall in her back and sits down on the floor, hugging her knees and trying to make herself invisible. The last thing she wants now is someone registering that she is here and trying to be sympathetic.

She just refuses to acknowledge anything else than that he is still alive and kicking some Wraith ass. Until they have shown her any different proof, she believes he'll make it back, like he always does so she can give him her answer.

On the screen the battle rages on, but the connection to the _Daedalus_ is still shaky and they only get bits and pieces… and so she sits there on the floor, trying to catch his voice again, holding on to the hope that his flyboy ego is simply too big to get blown out of the sky without seeing if his rather unusual proposal worked in his favor.


	17. 068 Lightening

**A/N:** Aaand number two of the John-Denver-bunnies. Direct sequel to "Heart" and yes, solution to the cliffie (I'm just too nice a person to keep you all waiting for longer than two or three days ;)). As always, I would be nothing without my fantastic beta **mac** :)

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Prompt: 068 Lightening

**Found a key for every door**

"_He left yesterday behind him  
you might say he was born again,  
might say he found a key for every door."_

_John Denver, "Rocky Mountain High"_

Holy crap. He nearly bought it. And he still can't believe he didn't. Lost his wingman though, and that really weighs him down. Jenkins had been one of the _Daedalus_ pilots, but that doesn't mean he's just another number for him. He knows that technically this wasn't his fault and that Jenkins was only in the wrong place at the wrong time, but for him every "in the wrong place at the wrong time" is one too many.

And then there's his misfortune. During the fight he'd been not fully paying attention, only for a moment, and wham, one of the darts had managed to hit one of his engines. Yes, he'd been able to make up for the slip of attention with top-notch flying – as top-notch as one can fly with only one engine left, that is – after the hit and even shooting down a few darts until the _Daedalus_ called them back, but… it irks him.

He simply shouldn't have asked her right before taking off. Not that this fateful moment's distraction had been because he'd pondered what her answer might be in a totally inappropriate moment, but the whole affair had left him with a certain… basic edginess. Positively not the best state of mind to enter a space battle. But when he'd been about to leave their quarters, he'd had this stupid feeling that something was about to go horribly wrong and he'd wanted to take a piece of her with him… tell her to wait for him, no matter what was about to happen and even though he knew she hates staying behind.

After the searing kiss… the question had simply slipped from his lips. All he'd wanted to say was something like "By the way… have dinner ready when I'm back." Just to needle her a little and make that underlying worry radiating off her go away, but… something in him had made him say some totally different words. When he'd seen her nearly horrified deer in headlights look, the only thing he was capable off was covering up his own shock with a wayward grin and scampering out of their quarters. And ever since then, he keeps brooding over if he has managed to scare her off, if he was too fast with that – they've been together for only a couple of months – if that was probably one of the biggest mistakes he ever made…

Groaning, he leans his head back. In the 30 minutes since the _Daedalus_ left the battle site, he has finished his post-flight and everything, but for some reason, he doesn't want to leave the fighter just yet. Maybe… maybe he just doesn't want to go back to the pilots' locker room, because that would mean having to face all the others, seeing Jenkins' locker… Huh, what's the commotion at the entrance of the flight deck?

A little curious, he finally gets up from the spot under his F-302 he'd been hiding in from everyone and walks a little in the direction of the turmoil… but he doesn't get very far. Out of the throng of people, a whirlwind with flying red hair emerges and comes dashing towards him with an inarticulate squeal of joy. In an instant, the whirlwind nearly knocks him over with jumping at him very unceremoniously.

He can barely keep his balance, much less since his assailant has now wrapped her legs around him and is kissing him wildly. Well… what else is there to do than embrace her and kiss her back? In the moment he does, nothing else than her matters to him anymore. Doesn't matter they're on the _Daedalus_' flight deck, doesn't matter that some of the pilots and flight mechanics around them are applauding and giving them wolf whistles and cat calls, doesn't matter that he's actually pretty tired from the space battle.

Then she stops kissing him, but only to utter a single word. "Yes," she says, punctuating it with another softer and shorter kiss. "Yes, yes, yes," she says again, accentuating every little word with another little kiss.

It takes a few seconds to get through to him what she actually means, but when realization dawns on him, a very silly grin spreads out over his face. "Yes as in yes, you'll marry me?"

She rolls her eyes. "Of course, Major Dimwit. Oh… and I think you can put me down again." Huh. _She_ jumped him, didn't she? Just for good measure, he gives her an extra squeeze before following her suggestion. As he looks at her again – her face a little flushed, her hair only loosely pulled back in a pony tail, her eyes sparkling with mirth and the true joy that he's back again – the full impact of what just happened comes down on him. They'll have a mountain of paper work in front of them now, but they've been there and done that already once. Much more important is that… he practically just entered the lifelong commitment everyone home already thought he'd forever abandoned in favor of his commitment to the Air Force.

He'd love to kiss her again but there's still this teeny tiny bit that they're standing on a very public flight deck. He clears his throat and lets go off her, turning back to their audience and calling out, "Alright people, show's over. Get back to work." He gives his best to bestow one of his meanest CO looks on a few maintenance technicians looking a little too interested in them and immediately people start scuttling off to work again, pretending nothing just happened.

She looks at him appreciating and a little gleeful, like she just had an idea she particularly likes. Uh-oh. "On the danger of your flyboy ego spontaneously self-combusting: You know… I wish you could wear all that flight gear to the wedding. There's just… _something_ about it."

For some reason… the comment about his flyboy ego… reminds him of what he had been thinking of before she said the little word that turned his world upside down and made it right again in just one go. "About that flyboy ego… I think it suffered quite the blow today."

She bends her head and looks at him again and he has the uncanny feeling that she can see right through his pretense of light irony. "Did it now? You really have to tell me about that one." With that, she simply jerks her head toward the flight deck's exit and tugs at his sleeve to make him follow her. After a little hesitation he does.

A few feet closer to the exit she gives his sleeve another tug and just raises her eyebrows expectantly at him. With a soundless sigh he finally starts telling her about the space battle and everything that happened. It's _still_ weighing him down, but at the same time… something deep inside him is nearly mad with joy that starting from now hopefully for the rest of his life there will be someone to make his burdens lighter and share hers with him.


	18. 031 Sunrise

**A/N:** Isn't Kim Wilde's "Cambodia" one of the saddest songs ever? So it's no wonder I couldn't resist writing something for that, I guess :sighs: Anyway, thanks to **mac** for the betaing (and the reasons for why spending part of my Easter vacation in Seattle before continuing to Vancouver is a good idea ;)), which was awesome as always :)  


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Prompt: 031 Sunrise

**The saddest eyes**

"_And as the nights passed by, she tried to trace the past.  
The way he used to look, the way he used to laugh.  
I guess she'll never know what got inside his soul.  
She couldn't make it out, just couldn't take it all.  
He had the saddest eyes the girl had ever seen."_

_Kim Wilde, "Cambodia"_

One year since they came back. One year since they ended their tour on Atlantis and took up different postings – she stayed with the SGC, he took up a posting at Peterson Air Force Base. At first they saw each other regularly – passing spare days together, sharing a beer or two if they happened to be in town for the same evening, now and then going running together… the things friends do.

Then… gradually… it lessened. At first their schedules wouldn't really match anymore, then he – kind of out of the blue – seemed to have developed an unwillingness to see her. She hadn't pushed him, because she knew pushing Lieutenant Colonel Lorne into something was never a good idea. He would just find ways to evade the pressure she would have put at him; quietly, but effectively. He never gave a reason why he cancelled date after date, and she wouldn't ask. She thought that maybe he had started dating some girl and at first she thought it didn't bother her.

But then she managed to run into him as he was at the Mountain on some business or other… and he hadn't looked much like being happily in love. In fact… he had looked so… _different_. So… _sad_. Like something in his world had fundamentally changed him… cut him so deeply that he wasn't the same man anymore. Yes, he would still walk like he used to – with the confident stride of a seasoned fighter pilot and SF-soldier who knows what he could do. And he would still talk with the same unerring certainty in his voice – the voice of a man who knows he is responsible for equipment billions of dollar worth and _enjoys_ the responsibility.

The eyes, though… the eyes hadn't been the same anymore. The few moments he'd seen her, he'd never looked her in the eye, but had always seemed a little distanced… like he was seeing something that others didn't. Something that bothered him and haunted him and wouldn't let him go.

And it wouldn't let _her_ go, so she tossed and turned and brooded… and finally ended up at the front gates of Peterson AFB, demanding to see Lieutenant Colonel Lorne, and if it was the last thing she ever did. Somewhere along the line, in one of those endless nights where she couldn't sleep because those eyes had haunted her, she had decided to get behind the secret of those eyes and turn them back into what they used to be – friendly, smiling, commanding… anything but sad.

She was determined to, and after the third time appearing there they had given up and let her proceed to his office. And there he had been, digging his way through paperwork, working as meticulously and dedicated through it like he had decimated Wraith in the Pegasus Galaxy. For a moment… they had simply stared at each other, and suddenly all her words had left her, because only then it all came crashing down. She realized that this wasn't just seeing each other in passing… he was sitting there and she had him nearly trapped in his office, because she was standing in front of the door, and she _knew_ she could take him out if she really had to.

And she realized she had missed him and that she wanted him back, sad eyes or no. So before he could say anything, she had simply taken the file he'd been reading from his hand, taken the receiver he'd just picked up down again and locked the door. The only thing she had said was, "Okay, flyboy. I ain't leaving until you tell me what's got into you."

She sighs, turning her face to the first rays of morning sun filtering into the room. She still doesn't know what happened to him. She still encounters his sad eyes now and then. She still wonders some nights if she should have acted earlier. But most of the time she's glad that she acted _at all_. Because if she hadn't, he maybe would have never… "It's too early to brood by the window, Laura. Come back here." it comes sleepily from the bed behind her. She smiles.

"Just a moment, Evan." She wants to see the sun rise, see it burn away all the monsters and demons populating the night… burn away the lingering sadness. As more sunlight starts to filter into the room, she turns around again, satisfied they managed another night of keeping the demons at bay. Contently she smiles and crawls back into his arms. He greets her with eyes full of warmth and a little early morning drowsiness… and she knows the fighting was all worth it.


	19. 085 She

**A/N:** You know, if you want to listen to some really old school German hip-hop (not that Aggro Berlin crap :shudders:) you should try Fettes Brot... you might not understand a word of what they're singing, but you'll get the idea ;) Anyway, I guess this could be taking place in the "Protect and Survive" universe but doesn't necessarily have to... but some of you might be happy to see two old friends appearing here ;) **Mac**, of course, did a great betaing job as always - really can't say enough what a dedicated beta she is (she knows why ;)).  


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Prompt: 085 She

**Just scoot**

"_Sie ist wie Fieber, du willst sie wieder  
es geht viel tiefer als alles andre jemals zuvor  
eben war's noch kochend heiß  
und auf einmal wird es kalt wie Trockeneis  
sie ist unglaublich, sie macht dich traurig  
dein Style hilft auch nichts, hau ab, sonst hast du alles verlorn  
Alter, bitte glaube uns, so wie dir ging es hier schon tausend Jungs."_

_Fettes Brot, "Em__manuela"_

"And another poor unsuspecting victim." He turns to his left side where Maureen Reece just plunked to the ground and raises his eyebrow. "That guy who just tried to tackle Lieutenant Cadman, I mean."

"You mean because she'll kick his ass the next time he comes near her?" it comes from Thomas Moore, who's sitting between him and Reece. Reece's answer is a snort.

"No, because he thinks that's the right way to impress her." Now he snorts. To him, Dr. Abramovich just tried to outmaneuver Laura to get the ball and score a goal. _Flirting_ is something else entirely. Isn't it?

"You're not saying he was trying to flirt, right, Captain?" Reece just gives him a suggestive raise of her eyebrows.

"Watch and learn, sir." That prompts Moore to groan and lie back in the sand. Lightly he nudges Reece with his foot.

"Can't you stop being a linguist just for _once_, Kid? This is supposed to be _spare time_." She gives him a very light slap on his shin.

"How often do I have to tell you that I _enjoy_ being a linguist, sir?" He looks back at Laura, who's being ferociously pursued by Abramovich and is running around the improvised soccer field in an impossible zig zag course to get rid of him. Come to think of it… she's starting to look mighty annoyed, because that guy gets in her way so often and makes it impossible for her to come near the goal. No, _that_'s definitely _not_ flirting, he decides. Moore and Reece on the other hand… he'll never get what it is between the two, mainly because he doesn't ask and Moore doesn't tell.

The two officers beside him have started one of their little bickering matches that always follow a secret choreography they both seem to know very well, and he turns his gaze back at the field. Thanks to Abramovich, Laura just lost the ball to Körner, one of the IT technicians and she looks ready to drag Abramovich off the field to give him a piece of her mind about his rather blunt method of preventing her from scoring. However, he fails to raise any sympathy for the guy, because he happens to know that Laura simply can't stand him, and for good reasons. He shakes his head.

"There's just no way Abramovich is flirting with her." Moore and Reece immediately cease their fooling around, and he realizes he just said that out loud. They both look at him questioningly and he feels the need to explain. "She hates him. He's constantly getting on her nerves, and he almost screwed up one of her missions, because he acted just plain stupid." Now they look at each other and immediately grin at each other. "_What_?" Smugly, Moore turns back to him.

"And how would _you_ know that?" What kind of a stupid question is _that_?

"Uh… she told me… two days ago or something." Another exchange of looks between the two leading officers of SGA4. He shrugs. Laura and he talked about a guy she can't stand. So what? It's not unusual for them to talk to each other. In fact… they did that a lot since she came back to Atlantis three weeks ago.

Reece sighs, and for him it sounds just a tad overdramatic. Like that "Men!"-sigh-thing women like to do so much and on every possible occasion. "Well, maybe she hates Abramovich. But Abramovich doesn't hate _her_." Yeah, sure. He just thinks he has some advantage over her because he's a guy and he holds a PhD in chemistry and she doesn't. "Look at him. He's constantly trying to invade her private space or at least get close to her." He snorts again.

"Yeah, because it's his _job_ to mark her." Now Moore sits up again and bends his head a little, following Abramovich and Laura as they try to fulfill their respective duties as members of their soccer teams.

"Actually… I think you have a point, Kid." Reece looks very much like she can just barely keep from telling him "'Course I have. I'm _always_ right about this kind of thing." because even between those two some very thin and invisible lines of proper conduct have remained through all the years they have known each other.

The thing is… it isn't entirely unfounded. He knows Reece's scores in her field of expertise and he knows how often her talent to understand not only spoken but also non-verbal language has saved the hides of her and her teammates. But still… "Nah, that's just ridiculous. He's too old to be pulling pigtails." Really, Abramovich is 30. Guys at 30 don't flirt by trying to throw their object of desire to the ground. Apart from that… Abramovich should _know_ that something like that only drives Laura mad and doesn't do anything to impress her.

"_Some_ guys are never too old to be pulling pigtails." Reece answers with a certain amount of annoyed eye-rolling that he gets the strong suspicion she's speaking from daily experience. And yes, just as if on cue, Moore grins and briefly pulls her short ponytail. It earns him a slap on the shoulder, which in turn results in a spray of sand for the Captain. Good _God_, get a fucking _room_, people.

Trying to forget his role as their CO just for once – because this _is_ one of their rare spare days on the mainland – he turns his gaze back at the field, pretending that it's totally normal for a team leader and his 2IC to be acting like Moore and Reece are. On the field, there's a bit of a commotion, because Zelenka just scored a goal for Laura's team and everyone is high-fiving him. In the mix-up of the little celebration Abramovich manages to sneak up to Laura… and takes the liberty of giving her a slap on the backside.

Okay, that's enough. _Everyone_ knows that it's only a question of time until Laura is Carson Beckett's girl again, and besides _no one_ treats his soldiers like this. Without a word, he gets up, ready to show Abramovich how he thinks about someone manhandling one of his soldiers, but Moore is faster.

"Hey, hey, easy, buddy. You know as well as I that she can handle that herself. He's already toast. And you'd be too if you'd interfere." A firm hand is planted on his shoulder, exerting just enough pressure to keep him in his place. He frowns. Thomas Moore of all people. The guy whose nickname changed from "Major Survival Exercise Monster" to "Major Green-eyed Monster" in his first year on Atlantis, after the first time a guy tried to get better acquainted with Reece in his vicinity.

On the field, the game is in full swing again, and now it seems as if Laura has managed to turn tables on Abramovich. Frowning he lightly shakes Moore's hand off and sits down again. It's evident that Laura has decided to take off the velvet gloves. Every time Abramovich comes even remotely close to the ball, she's there. And as far as he can tell, she's not cutting him any slack.

She chases him over the field and a few times she comes _very_ close to fouling him. "Such an idiot. He really doesn't get it." Reece grumbles, and he has to agree with her. Even though he must be already sporting a few bruises, Abramovich doesn't back off and time and again gets closer to her than would be wise.

And suddenly, he gets to see them up close and personal, because the ball just flew in his direction. Abramovich sprints to get it, but just a few seconds before he can actually touch it, Laura suddenly throws herself to the ground and kicks the ball back into the field. A nice side effect is that she knocks him off his feet and he hits the sand rather hard. Ouch. All three of them wince, but hey… that guy deserved it.

And Laura knows that. She gets up looking smug and dusting the sand off her bare legs and arms. She catches his eyes and a big grin appears on her face. He can't help but mirror it and call out to her, "Nice one, Lieutenant."

"Thanks, sir." She still looks smug, but the look on her face says something else: If you want to leave the field without a scratch… don't mess with me. It's a warning he should take seriously. Suddenly he's glad he listened to Moore.

On the ground, Abramovich looks very much like this was his last soccer match for an extended period of time. Not that he's injured seriously… but his pride seems to have suffered quite the blow. Without looking back, he gets up and walks over to the far end to lick his wounds.

He's about to sit down beside Moore again when Abramovich's team realize they just lost a man and desperately need someone else to mark Laura. For reasons unknown to him, they suddenly are asking _him_. He tries to deny – he never could get into soccer – but then Laura says, "Afraid I might be better than you?" and that does it.

"Not in a million years. Can we get on with the game now? There's a cheeky jarhead here who needs to be taught a lesson." As someone tosses him the ball, immediately Laura starts attacking him again and his ambition is sparked. So much, in fact, that he never sees Reece and Moore high-fiving each other and congratulating themselves to the brilliant idea of subtly pointing to a certain zoomie Major as a substitute for Abramovich.

~*~

"She's like fever, you want her back

This is deeper than anything from before

Just a moment ago it was boiling hot

And suddenly it gets cold like dry ice

She's unbelievable, she makes you sad

Your style doesn't help you here, just scoot or you'll lose everything

Boy, please believe us, it's happened to thousand other guys here before."

Fettes Brot, "Emanuela"


	20. 084 He

**A/N:** Obviously, a companion piece to "She". Again, two old friends from one of my other stories, again _could_ take place in the "Protect and Survive"-universe. And no, not a conincidence that I used German lyrics again. If Fettes Brot is old school German hip-hop, Wir sind Helden are the Godparents of new German pop. I think I'll dedicate this to my youngest sister and her boyfriend because they met each other on a Helden concert... and just because I can ;) Betaed by the incredible **mac** who brought some great songs to my attention today... even if the little "UCMJ!"-voice in her head really doesn't like it.  


* * *

Prompt: 084 He

**Your silence is ****your tent**

"_Dein Schweigen ist dein Zelt  
Du stellst es mitten in die Welt  
Spannst die Schnüre und staunst stumm, wenn  
Nachts ein Mädchen drüber fällt."_

_Wir sind Helden, "Nur ein Wort"_

"They really don't get it." A little startled, she looks up from her lunch. Opposite her, Maureen Reece sits down. A mild frown appears on her face as she sees the slightly annoyed look on Maureen's face.

"Uh… beg pardon, but… _who_ doesn't get _what_?" The other Marine rolls her eyes.

"All the girls trying to have a go at Major Lorne. Look at them." What is this is going to be about? Where does this sudden interest in Major Lorne come from? Doesn't Maureen have her own zoomie Major to think about? "Come on, it's a great study in female flirting behavior." Mh… obviously… Maureen just needs a little break from her all-guy team and some good old female gossiping. Oh well, why not indulge a friend now and then?

"Okay… let's just pretend for a minute that I don't have a science degree and actually know something about sociology. _Who _is trying to have a go at Major Lorne?" Maureen's face lights up with glee. She jerks her head discreetly in the direction of the lunch line.

"See that French nurse in line after the guy behind him?" She nods. "Okay, one of the girls in my department lives beside her, they like to talk, go to lunch together… but two weeks ago, she changed her lunch routine. And two weeks ago, Major Lorne passed three days in the infirmary. Guess who was the nurse in charge."

Aw, no. That's just _so_ cliché. And anyway, now she remembers. They went on a mission two days after they discharged him, and while they sat around to wait for the scientists to finish, she'd wheedled it out of him that the last nurse in charge of taking care of him actually grated a little on his nerves. "Yeah, so what? Maybe her shift schedule changed."

Maureen snorts. "Maybe. Doesn't change the way she ogles him, though. And see how she tries to "subtly" catch his eyes." She throws a short look at the line… but the nurse is talking to the guy in front of her, not looking at… oh. Wait. Why does she suddenly trade places with the guy? She looks back at Maureen. A smug grin appears on her face. "See how that French charm works? Only not on the Major, God knows why."

No, actually _she_ knows why. That nurse isn't Evan's type. In his usual private way he hasn't been _backbiting_ about her, but he'd let it shine through that her "cute" manner – the little girl voice, the batting of her eyelashes, the pouting – isn't exactly what he likes in a woman. Before she can voice her opinion on that, another Major sits down beside Maureen. "Sharing your unfounded "theories" again, Kid?" Maureen rolls her eyes.

"With all due respect, _sir_, they are anything but unfounded. They are based on scientific observations, quantified research and years of professional experience." He snorts.

"Sure. More like 'female intuition'. And you know, I never thought _you_ could be such a gossip." Maureen wants to say something, but catches herself in the last moment. She has the feeling that it had something to do with her roommate from her time back at the SGC, which is a kind of "Don't touch."-subject between Major Moore and her. Or at least that's what Maureen told her.

"Sorry to disappoint you, sir." She just shrugs, and he grins. Moore doesn't really look disappointed… but it's really been a while since anything his 2IC said or did disappointed him. And because she doesn't want to see the secret looks Maureen and Moore throw each other when they think the other isn't watching, she turns back to the food line.

There, the nurse obviously got up a little courage and has started trying to chat Evan up. She's not quite sure if she should feel sorry for the nurse or for Evan. While the Frenchie is twittering away, he seems to try and concentrates on the food in front of him, only giving the nurse a non-committal smile now and then.

By now, she thinks she knows him well enough to see that he's a little bewildered because of all of the attention he's suddenly receiving. If he didn't radiate off a certain degree of distress, she'd find it actually pretty funny that he seems to have no idea what he did to get the nurse on his tracks. She could tell him, but she has this feeling that he wouldn't believe her anyway. "You sure you don't believe me?"

She blinks and looks at Maureen again. The other woman just smirks at her momentary mental absence. And well… it's not like she's wholly _wrong_, but… if she's honest… watching that Frenchie trying to go in for the kill gives her a funny feeling. There's really no reason for that, since Evan is just a friend and will never be more than that, but still… "You're reading too much into that, honestly." Wishful thinking, a little voice in the back of her mind whispers, but she chooses to ignore it.

Maureen snorts and Moore smirks. _What?_ "Actually… I've seen this happening before. There was this evening when we celebrated finishing our Fourth Year at the Academy and went into town…" Huh? Is Major Thomas Moore really about to share an Academy story involving some embarrassing content and _Major Evan Lorne_? She just raises an eyebrow and looks at Maureen, who just flashes a short grin, as if to say "Hold your tongue, this is bound to be good." Resisting a sigh, she returns her attention to Moore. "So… there was this waitress who kept coming to our table, flashing smile after smile and everyone was having a good time, mostly because our… CO over there kept blushing and…"

Abruptly he stops and looks at Maureen with a mixture of pain and disapproval on his face. She didn't just… step on his foot or something, right? From the look of Moore's face it _must_ have been something painful as that, but really… "Been telling invented Academy stories to the girls again, Tom?" Holy… she nearly dropped the fork she's holding at the sound of the voice coming from behind her.

As Evan sets down his tray beside her, Moore just rolls his eyes. "I only tell _true_ Academy stories. _If_ I tell them." She catches Evan's eyes and he just flashes her a quick grin, which is so very different from the tight little smiles he gave the Frenchie that it makes her heart skip a beat. Because she's so caught off-guard by it, she misses the knowing look Maureen and Moore share.

"Which you almost never do, of course. Anyway… what've you been talking about?" Before Maureen or Moore can answer and make the situation very embarrassing, she takes up her chance.

"Oh, just next week's schedule. Say… is there a reason I don't get to go off-world at least once?" He grins and as the conversation steers away from the initial topic, she finds herself amazed at how glad she is that he feels comfortable enough around her to be anything but awkward or tight-lipped. In a corner of her mind… she would be really sorry if he was behaving around her like he just behaved around the French nurse, and that… well, she just doesn't want to be think about _that_.

~*~

"Your silence is your tent  
You put it in the middle of the world  
You span the cords and marvel in silence  
When a girl stumbles upon them at night."

Wir sind Helden, "Just a Word"


	21. 061 Winter

**A/N: **Okay... this one is... very, very, very (and did I mention... very?) AU. As in... WWII-Battle-of-the-Bulge-Evan-isn't-even-a-Major-and-Laura-is-no-Marine-AU. But I figured since I have _100_ prompts it's simply _impossible_ to keep them _all_ in our Stargate-verse and additionally I _wanted_ to try something really different. So... tell me. Love it? Hate it? And _a lot_ of thanks to **mac** who complied with Unreasonable Beta-Request #27238382 and betaed those (yeah, it's going to be a trilogy...) in just one night, only because they showed "Pearl Harbor" yesterday on TV and I felt like publishing a WWII-story...

Oh, oh, oh, and like **mac** already pointed out to me: Language warning. Strong one, I guess. Really, I mean it, guys. Don't say I didn't warn you.

* * *

Prompt: 061 Winter

**Win when I lose**

"_My, my, I tried to hold you back but you were stronger  
__oh yeah, and now it seems my only chance  
is giving up the fight  
and how could I ever refuse  
I feel like I win when I lose."_

_ABBA, "Waterloo"_

"Sergeant! Who the hell is _that_?" The man he just bellowed at doesn't flinch but maybe that's just because he's frozen solid. Wouldn't be all that much of a surprise, considering that they are deep in the Ardennes and in the middle of December and _fucking without any adequate winter equipment_.

"Miss Laura Cadman, sir." Oh, right, Miss Laura Cadman, of course. That really explains what that slip of a woman dressed in ragtag battle dress is doing in his camp only a few miles away from enemy territory.

"And is Miss Laura Cadman dumb or can she explain why she just appeared out of thin air herself?" Miss Laura Cadman wants to answer but is cut short by the sound of approaching planes. They sound distinctively like Messerschmitts and immediately everyone – even Miss Cadman – dives for cover, even though they are in the forest. Grudgingly he has to grant her a good reaction… almost as good as if she were a trained soldier.

But the Messerschmitts obviously aren't interested in wiping out command posts today and zoom past them… in the direction of his tanks. Crap. Momentarily forgetting about the woman on the ground beside him, he gets up immediately, yelling at his radio operator to warn Lieutenant Harris' unit of the approaching threat. Just what he needed. Fucking cold, fucking miserable, fucking fucked… and now the Krauts seem to have dug up a few planes as well. Where's that damn Air Force when you need them?

"A few miles down the hill, trying to get their birds in the air." He whirls around at the distinctively female – and distinctively _irreverent_ – voice from behind him to find Miss Cadman standing there with her helmet in her hand and the hair slightly ruffled up, bits of snow and soil on her battle dress. The only answer to his glare is raising her eyebrow and adding a slightly mocking, "Sir?"

Ah, so the nuisance _can_ talk. And wait… did he say that thing about the Air Force aloud? He must have because having a woman in the camp is bad enough; having a woman who is _telepathic _in the camp… worse than all the Germans waiting for them on the other side of the forest. "Then they should damn well hurry or I'll have to order one of my guys to fucking show them why you should never piss off a tankie." What, no fainting at the liberal use of profanities? Not even a shocked squeak? That _is_ a woman in front of him, right?

"I'm sure that will do wonders to unfreeze their engines. By the way, Laura Cadman, war correspondent, pleased to meet you." She extends a gloved hand towards him and he just looks at it, a little dumfounded. _War correspondent_? Aw, _no_. Just… no. One of these eager girls, sent off by their editors, thinking that this is just some big adventure and being always in the way, additionally to threatening camp order. He'd really thought that as the commander of a tank company at the front he'd be spared this burden. Couldn't she just have stayed with General Patton, like that Bourke-White girl?

"Huh, and here I thought you West Point graduates were a bunch of well educated charming guys. Or maybe I just had the bad luck to find the only one who isn't." And she also has to be a fucking loudmouth. Just. Fucking. Great.

He doesn't shake her hand, but at least he can bring himself to look up at her again. After all, he's the ranking officer here and has to set an example. "Captain Evan Lorne. And if you're such a big fan of the boys in the bombers, it would be my pleasure to send you back. Baddon!" He signals his driver to come over, not even waiting for her answer.

However, obviously she doesn't like it if someone else makes her decisions. "Not so fast, mister." Alright, that's enough. _No one_ denies him calling him by his rank, most of all not some girl scribbler who wants to play war.

"You, _Miss Laura Cadman_, are going back to wherever you came from, _right now_. This ain't a dainty little tea party and I ain't having any bored debutantes in a fucking _war zone_. You want to get your kicks try harassing some other officer who's stupid enough to have you around, but _I_ have a war to fight." By now, his soldiers have given up trying to look unsuspicious while listening in. They haven't had this form of entertainment for a while now – alright, they haven't had _any_ form of entertainment for a while now – and they also haven't seen their commanding officer _really_ lose his temper for a while now. But goddammit, even _he_ has his limits and letting this woman get through to him in the middle of a winter war they aren't even equipped for was just the thing that threw him over the edge.

For a moment, only the distant thunder of artillery and the cracking of machine guns can be heard. Opposite him, Miss Cadman's grip around her helmet has tightened and he's sure her knuckles just turned white under those gloves. She looks… like a hand grenade without a pin. Uh… "You, _Captain Evan Lorne_, don't know a _thing_ about me. You have _no_ right to go off on me like this. I was in London during the Blitz, I was at Pearl Harbor and in North Africa. I was at fucking Omaha Beach, dammit. You can stomp your foot all you want, but you ain't getting rid of me."

What the…? London? Pearl Harbor? _Omaha Beach_? For the first time, he takes a real look at her. There's a scar on her left cheek, faint but still red, as if it's fairly fresh. She also seems to favor her right leg when standing, as if the left one can't take as much weight. If he's honest… there isn't that much of a debutante in her. In fact… there's _nothing_ of a debutante in or on her. The hair is in a messy French braid, there's a smudge of dirt on her make-up free face and she's wearing heavy boots… the kind he and his soldiers wear. Her battle dress looks well-kept, but worn, sewn in a few places, patched in another few. On her hip he can even detect a sidearm… a Browning HP, if he got that right. The only fact making her stand out is that she's… well, a woman.

He wants to reply, but suddenly the Messerschmitts are back… much lower and much faster than before. Dammit. The moment they have reached the edge of the forest, they start hammering the ground with their machine guns. Immediately, everyone is diving for cover and again he finds himself in a foxhole beside Miss Cadman. The only reason he can tell that from is that below the helmet a pair of hazel eyes is gleaming with concentration and… there's a fucking camera in her hand. Holy _crap_, they are under fire and the first thing she does is _take pictures_?

As fast as the Messerschmitts came, they are gone and he wants to yell at her again that this isn't a goddamn studio, but is silenced by her grabbing him by his arm and dragging him over to a tree stump. The moment he wants to give her a piece of his mind about that, the hammering starts again and this time the bullets find their way right into the foxhole they just vacated and straight towards the abandoned commando post, leaving all their radio equipment destroyed with it.

This time, he waits at least two minutes before moving again. When he does, he can't help leaning his head back against the tree stump and closing his eyes for a very brief moment. _That_ was close. "Like I said… you ain't getting rid of me. You're stuck with me." He opens his eyes again to look at the woman beside him and he realizes that the war correspondent girl he'd wanted to send back to the bomber boys only half an hour or so ago… just saved his life.

Of course he isn't superstitious – no self-respecting West Point graduate would ever admit to be – but… that _was_ uncanny. He'd been in a bit of bad luck those last few weeks and his men had already started to wonder if he was jinxed or something. Maybe… this little reporter could bring them luck if nothing else. "No, missy, _you_ are stuck with _me_."

A slow smile spreads over her face, lighting it up under the helmet. "Fair enough. Tankies are much more reliable than those scatterbrained flyboys, anyway." Oh well… obviously he just got himself a new member of his company.


	22. 062 Spring

**A/N:** Alright, part II. A few months onwards and the Third Army has moved from the Ardennes to Central Germany - to Buchenwald to be precise. Trivia fact of the day: For a few years now I've been living only a few kilometers away from Buchenwald, but I actually never saw it. Guess there are some aspects of my country's history I will never be able to face. Betaed by **mac** who says she wants to visit Buchenwald one day and is therefore much more courageous than I am.

* * *

Prompt: 062 Spring

**Their disgrace**

"_Brothers lie in shallow graves.  
Fathers lost without a trace.  
A nation blind to their disgrace,  
Since he's been here."_

_James Blunt, "No Bravery"_

"Boss?" He turns around towards Sergeant Baddon, glad that there are no other officers in the direct vicinity. Now that they aren't deep in the forests in Belgium anymore it wouldn't do good if officers not privy to the hardships he has undergone with his men saw the familiarity between them and him.

"What is it, Sergeant?" Baddon tries to look unfazed but the uncommon paleness and the trembling hands tell him differently. He already regrets having him sent up the Ettersberg.

"It's… the Miss, sir. Guess she's taking it pretty hard." That would be a first. During the last couple of months, Laura Cadman had surprised him again and again with what she was able to endure. Granted, sometimes he had a hard time keeping her from seeing the _really_ bad things without her actually noticing it, but overall… she proved to be not half as much a nuisance as he thought when he met her for the first time.

He sighs. "Where is she?" Baddon turns around; jerking his head towards the jeep he drove their Scribble up the hill to Buchenwald in.

"Behind the Old Girl. It's… not a pretty sight, sir." He isn't quite sure if the Sergeant is referring to the mess Laura Cadman obviously is or to the things that have happened up that hill.

"I'll take care of it, Bill. Go get yourself something to drink." The Sergeant just nods, mindful of the unspoken order to return at least half sober to duty tomorrow morning, and he claps him on the shoulder before walking around the jeep.

There she sits on the ground at one of the hind wheels, her knees drawn up to her chest, her arms around them, her forehead on her knees. Beside the front passenger door there's a mess of… something he thinks used to be this morning's breakfast. He crouches down in front of her, silent for a moment. He can't hear sobs and doesn't see her shaking and quite frankly that worries him.

A little tentatively, he reaches out and lightly touches – nearly strokes – her shoulder. She looks up, with dry eyes and a confused look on her face. Then she seems to recognize him and he simply holds up his canteen. Still as if in a daze, she grabs it slowly and takes a few sips from it.

Her eyes clear up a little more and he takes a deep breath and says, "Told you not to go up there, Scribble." Indeed he had. Two days ago, General Patton and his press entourage were already up on the Ettersberg to see with their own eyes how effective the Reich was in organizing genocide. Laura could have stayed down with the company, in their cozy little field camp just out of Weimar and celebrated the liberation of a concentration camp with them, but _no_, she just _had_ to act on her stupid journalistic instinct to see everything with her own eyes.

She blinks and swallows, before saying in a low and raspy voice, "They said they didn't know, Tankie. _They said they didn't know._"

"Who said that?" Her gaze is slightly unfocused and he feels the impulse to pat her cheek or squeeze her hand to make her focus on him and not on the things that she saw up there.

"The… the people here. All those Krauts." She shakes her head, disbelieving. The crouching position he's in starts to become a tad uncomfortable but he doesn't dare moving… although he has a hard time fighting off the urge to simply put his arms around her and hug her so tightly to him that she stops thinking about mass murder and collective denial. "They say they didn't know what was happening _right in front of them_."

Her eyes are large now, and her breathing becomes erratic… almost like she's going to be sick again. And yeah, suddenly she jumps up, and walks a few steps before it's too strong and she can't keep it in anymore. Without a word, he walks over to her and gently puts his hand in her neck to hold back her hair. After a few more dry-heaves she straightens up and wordlessly accepts his canteen a second time. She doesn't only drink a little but also spills a part of the contents over her head and hands… as if she wants to wash away something.

He takes a deep breath again. "Hate to say it again, Scribble, but… you really should have stayed down here." Or _he_ should have gone _up_ with her. Dammit, he shouldn't have let Baddon and Laura drive up there all alone. It was his fucking responsibility, no matter in how much disarray the company was or how many people wanted to talk to Major Lorne or how much she insisted on going alone.

"How could I? Look, the world needs to see this! It's my _job_ to show them…" She raises her voice, becomes really worked up and out of an impulse he puts his hands on her shoulders and looks her in the eyes.

"Scribble!" She wants to start to talking again, but he knows he has to calm her down because she'd never forgive him if he let her turn hysterical in front of half the company now. "_Laura, listen_!" Calling her by her first name effectively shuts her up because it's something he only rarely did in the past months. "No one would have thought less of you if you hadn't gone up there." She just shakes her head and her eyes become moist. He's so glad about it that he can't hold back saying, "_I_ wouldn't have thought less of you if you'd stayed here. I would have… I would have gone to Miss Bourke-White and asked her… I would…" I would have gone up there for you and told you there was nothing of any interest for you, just to keep you from seeing it yourself.

"You don't understand. I came here to show the folks back home what's happening here. And then those Krauts tell me they didn't know what was happening up there." Tears have started to run down her cheeks, making their way through the trademark smudges of dirt, but she doesn't pay them any attention. She just keeps on talking. "They tell me they didn't know they were starving the people up there and beating them and systematically killing them and… God, Tankie, be glad you didn't see the barracks and the… and the…" It's too much for him.

He engulfs her in a hug, partly to shut her up and partly to keep her from literally falling apart. He doesn't care that his men are throwing them strange looks because let's face it: For his men, the "Miss" was the boss's girl anyway ever since the first week in the Ardennes, no matter how much she flirted with his Lieutenants and how much they clashed over all kinds of things and no matter how much he denied it to everyone daring to allude to it.

In his arms, Laura is finally letting the horror drain away from her, at least for this moment and he can't help bending down and murmuring, "It's gonna be okay, Laura." over and over again.

After a few minutes, though, she looks up, her face tearstained and her eyes suddenly looking very old and… hard. "No," she says, "it's _not_ gonna be okay. Not in a hundred years. Not for the Germans… and not for us. They did it… but we let it happen. And that's why _we_ have to see it." Almost gently, she loosens his arms around her and steps back from him. "I think… I'm gonna see and try if I can reach my editors back home. You know how worried these mother hens become when I don't call in every two hours or something."

With that, she turns around, furiously wiping her face, not looking back. But he doesn't believe it for a second that she's already over everything. And he still has something to say. He takes a few strides towards her and says, "Scribble… for what it's worth: I'm sorry I didn't come with you."

She turns to him, a slight smile on her tear- and dirt stained face. "Don't be, Tankie. _I_ would be sorry if you _did_." So _that_'s why she refused his offer to accompany her. She _knew_ what was awaiting her… he can't believe his little Scribble thought _she_ had to protect _him_. Something of his astonishment and emotion must have shown because she hurries to add, "So… want to help me find a decent phone or telegraph line home? You're always good to scare off anyone nosing around while I'm making my calls."

Just for good measure, he decides to play along and his little laugh even sounds half credible. "Whoa, you finally admitted that I'm good for _something_." They wander off, through dirt and debris and rows of tanks, talking and even laughing, and he really wishes it wasn't just there to chase off the Buchenwald ghosts that will forever be haunting her from now on. He also realizes that he wishes… that he could be the one she allows to keep the ghosts at least at arm's length away. And maybe, given a little time…


	23. 064 Fall

**A/N:** And here we go with the conclusion. Another few months later, at a place called Nuremberg. All in all... this little trilogy turned into a bunny for some larger original fiction I would have already started writing if there wasn't an insane amount of research involved. At the moment the sheer thought of how much I would have to research keeps me from starting to write (but not from visiting my old university's library... hey, my library card is valid until 2030!) but I guess the bunny just won't leave until I do. Then it will vanish into thin air, I'm sure of it :P Anyway, betaed by **mac** who still wants to volunteer to be the Major's girl :D

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Prompt: 064 Fall

**Scratching at the surface**

"_I'm scratching at the surface now  
And I'm trying hard to work it out  
So much has gone misunderstood  
This mystery only leads to doubt  
And I didn't understand  
When you reached out to take my hand  
And if you have something to say  
You'd better say it now."_

_Glen Hansard, "Say it to me now"_

He can't believe he actually made it. Years of war and he made it through alive. With scars on mind and body, but alive and now – months after the official end of the war – he's finally going back home. He doesn't know what's going to happen then, so maybe he'll come back to rebuild the country they had bombed into oblivion so successfully. It doesn't lack a certain strange irony… like this certain encounter two days ago didn't lack a certain strange irony. Trying to get rid of the memory of this encounter, he stares out on the air field, waiting for his plane to get ready.

However… he doesn't really see the air field and the plane… what he sees are the corridors of the Palace of Justice in Nuremberg from two days ago. Since his flight was to take off from near Nuremberg he'd had decided to go there and see if they really brought justice to the Nazis they could actually catch. After all, it had been Göring's Messerschmitts that had cost him a lot of men and caused him a lot of trouble.

He'd expected a lot of people to be there, maybe meeting some of the men he had graduated from West Point or served with… but not to see the one woman again he'd wanted so desperately to forget. And if it wasn't enough that she suddenly appeared in a corridor, with a stack of paper in her hands she also wore… a WAC service uniform. With Captain's insignia on her shoulders.

She'd been too busy with reading one of the papers and he'd been too dumbfounded to react at first and so she nearly ran into him… or he into her. He really couldn't believe what he saw right there, because shortly after Leipzig, his Scribble had left the unit for good, never quite being able with coming to terms with what she saw at Buchenwald. Or so he'd thought.

But before she could bump into him, she managed to look up and he'd realized he'd never seen her like this before… with shorter but still artfully draped hair, a clean face and… make-up. She'd needed a few seconds to recognize him herself but when she did, a smile had grazed her face. A smile that… scared him a little. It had looked… artificial, as if it was part of her make-up. He'd expected her to greet him with something like "Hey, Tankie, long time, no see." but all she'd said had been, "Major… what a surprise."

Silently sighing, he rubs his hand over his eyes. Back in the corridor, he'd wanted to tell her that he'd missed her ever since she left, that he'd been _terribly_ worried about her, what with the Russians on the lose in East and Central Europe and lose Werewolf units and everything, that he'd tried to reach her… but all he'd said had been, "Likewise… Captain."

His answer had had a distinctive edge of irritation to it because in that moment… a slight feeling of betrayal had started to develop. If she'd joined the WAC _after_ leaving his company, she would have _never_ made it as far as Captain so she must have already been a WAC when she became attached to them. And she _never fucking told him_. In fact… she made him believe she was a civilian, took liberties he'd never have allowed any officer… and now he finally also understood why she had been so insulted that she nearly left the company when he had forced her to stay behind before their last big operation in the Ardennes, claiming a woman's and a _civilian's_ place was certainly _not_ in combat.

To his surprise, the next thing she'd said to him in the corridor had been, "I know what you're thinking now and… I'm sorry for never telling you, sir, but… I had my orders." For the first time since he'd met her there, he'd had the feeling that behind the make-up and the uniform and the professional façade there was still his Scribble.

It hadn't made the irritation at having been lied to fully go away, but at least it had taken off a little of the doubts that she had been just pretending. He'd… actually been afraid that the strangely detached and distanced person there in the corridor was the real Laura Cadman, not the Scribble who'd laughed and suffered with them… who'd been so shaken up about Buchenwald that she'd let him hug her in plain sight of everyone.

"Of course," he'd just said, trying not to let it shine through again how much it riled him up – all of this, in fact – although all he'd wanted to know what the hell was happening here. What she was doing in Nuremberg, why she was suddenly wearing the WAC uniform, what her orders had been… but he'd known she wouldn't have told him anyway.

He stands up, under the pretense of having to take a few steps to stretch his legs but in truth it's more like trying to get away from that conversation. They could have easily ended it there, acting as if they were two distant acquaintances who just happened to see each other again for a few minutes. But… not even then had they been able to fully gloss over the bond between them that had formed during the time she'd accompanied him and his men. Maybe it had been just for the sake of that bond, maybe it had been because she cared for him as much as he _still_ cares for her that she had smiled again and said, "So… finally out of the dirt?"

He'd rubbed his neck and given her a slightly sheepish smile. "Yeah… gonna leave in two days. Guess they're already preparing the party of the century at home or something." And then, out of an impulse, he'd added, "What about you? Surely _someone_ is waiting for you as well?"

Annoyed he shakes his head. What a stupid, clumsy and _unnecessary_ attempt to find out if she had a sweetheart waiting for her back home or maybe one who'd be coming back as well. During her stay with the company she'd never talked about anyone but he also never asked… because in truth he hadn't wanted to know. And he hadn't wanted to know in that corridor either, so his first thought as she hadn't answered immediately and had shown all the little signs of being _really_ uncomfortable had been that he shouldn't have asked. However… "My parents, yeah. But they will have to wait a little longer. I still have work to do here."

Something in her bearing had told him she took having to stay here harder than she let on – he hadn't even thought about the fact that it might just be wishful thinking on his part – and since he could never see his Scribble suffer, he'd swallowed hard and said, "War's over, Scribble." He'd taken a deep breath then because he saw her tighten her lips and her knuckles turning white at that nickname and because something told him that now was his only chance. With a raspy and low voice he'd added, "Come home with me."

He shakes his head again, aimlessly kicking at one of the pebbles on the ground. "I can't, Tankie," she'd said and for a moment he could have kissed her for finally using that nickname again. It was funny, he'd thought, for weeks he'd fought viciously against that name and then when he learned that she's an officer, he'd _wanted_ her to use it. Then the real impact had registered and he actually felt his heart break. It had been only three words and he still thinks he heard a mountain of regret and sadness behind the façade, but it doesn't change the fact that she'd said no.

He'd wanted to tell her that they would find a way to relieve her off her obligations, that she just had to pack her things and follow him to the air field… but she'd explained, "It's… Buchenwald. Kaltenbrunner is on trial here and Sauckel and… I got ordered here as part of prosecutor Jackson's staff. I _need_ to be here." Of course. How could he have argued with that? The US Army wanted her there and so she had to be there. However… obviously the US Army had also wanted her to be in the thick of the Battle of the Bulge and they also had wanted her to see the horrors of Buchenwald and all those other things…

Maybe for the first time in his life as an officer he'd felt resentment at the Army and he _still_ feels it. Not because of himself… but of what they demanded and still continue to demand from Laura. So… it had simply slipped out. "You gave them enough, Laura. You… almost even gave them your sanity. Don't you think it's time _they_ gave something to _you_?" She'd shaken her head.

"It's okay, Tankie. I _want_ to be here. I need to see them get what they deserve for what they did. I just… I just want some peace." He'd understood her. But that didn't mean he agreed with her.

And because he felt her slipping away from him a _second_ time – something, he realized, he couldn't and didn't want to bear again – he'd let himself go as far as contradicting her, "Do you really think seeing those monsters and hearing them trying to _defend_ what they did will give you peace? Trust me, Scribble, you will never find peace _here_." She'd bitten her lip and for a moment he'd been hopeful she would _finally_ let him chase away the ghosts of war and genocide.

But then she'd broken eye-contact and with a halting, almost pleading voice she'd replied, "Please… just go. Don't make me abandon my post… not you of all people. Do us both a favor and… just leave. I… wish you a good flight, Major. Please excuse me now." Without another word, she'd brushed past him, leaving him standing there, like an idiot. This time… he hadn't followed her because he'd been busy with not falling apart.

After that he'd turned tail and gotten away from the place as fast as he could. He doesn't know how exactly he survived the last two days… probably only the thought that he would be an ocean away from her soon had kept him upright and so he's more than relieved that they can finally board the plane back home. Silently he takes his place, not taking part in the excited chatter of his fellow passengers and pleased that he's obviously unapproachable enough that no one dares taking the seat beside him.

Lost in his thoughts he doesn't even realize that the pilot really takes his time with taking off and he stares out of the window absentmindedly. In fact… he's so absentminded that at first he doesn't even realize that someone just addressed him. The first thing he notices is someone clearing their throat and he's about to snap something back, but then a female voice asks, "Excuse me, sir… is this seat taken?"

He doesn't dare turn his head fully around but he feels his face light up in a full smile as he responds with, "Not yet… Captain."

"Good. _Someone_ in the US wants me to get my ass back there and I guess the brass would be offended if I didn't take my new posting on time." Finally he finds the courage to turn his head… and only the fact that they aren't alone in here keeps him from kissing his Scribble. Holy Mother of God… yeah, _his_ Scribble. The one good thing this war has left him with and he will _never_ let her go again.


	24. 030 Death

**A/N:** Yes, even this prompt has to be written. That's what I did with it. BTW and before I forget it again: I gladly take suggestions, additional prompts (i.e. lines or items you want to be used, situations you want to see the characters placed in, characters you want to see...), songs (two of **mac's **suggestions already worked...) and the like. If you have an idea you want me to incorporate into my writing, don't hesitate to name it. I still have a little over 50 prompts left and I do intent to finish the challenge within this year. You're welcome to help.

And of course **mac** did the beta for this as well, stating she only found three little things... does that mean I'm getting better? ;)

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Prompt: 030 Death

**Spread your wings and run**

"_The old boys are leaving  
__Leaving one by one  
Where young birds go flying  
Spread your wings and run  
But over the fields by the drystone walls  
An eagle will come no more."_

_Runrig, "The Old Boys"_

What a fitting weather. Gray and windy and rainy… even a little sleet mixed with it. In fact, it's so fitting for his annual visit to the Stargate Command Memorial – which is still the memorial for the men and women losing their life in the service of a deep space telemetry project officially – that it's almost cliché. He draws his coat a little tighter around himself and slowly walks up the stairs.

There had been a time where he hadn't been able to bear the sight of the simple black stone wall with the engravings and the little white marble dots representing each member of the SGC and the Atlantis Expedition that left their life in the service or never came back from a mission, arranged in star constellations of the Milky Way and the Pegasus Galaxy. He'd needed five years to be able to come here and not feel like being overwhelmed by loss, guilt and anger. Ever since then… he comes here once a year, and really only once, even though he left the Expedition and the SGC ten years ago, and has been working in the DOD for six years, leaving the blood and sweat and tears for the next generation.

He had chosen this time of year, because the weather is always bad enough that the chances that he's alone here are very high. However… it seems like today his strategy didn't work. A little surprised, he stops on the pre-last stair and narrows his eyes at the sight before him. There's a woman standing in front of the stone wall, her back to him. She's wearing her red hair in a French knot, a black coat that reaches to her knees, black trousers… and standing completely still.

His first impulse was to walk up to her and see who dared to take away his chance to pay his respects in solitude, but something in her manner of not moving an inch in this biting cold makes him hesitant to step forward and intrude on this woman's silent contemplation. For a few more moments they stand there, in their own worlds, but bound together by that black wall. Until she moves to reach out and touch one of the engravings with a hand clad in elegant dark purple leather.

Somehow that movement breaks the spell that had been lying on him and he takes the last few steps to walk up to her. She doesn't notice him right away, her hand lingering on the engraved name. Not able to fully tame his curiosity, he can avoid looking at _her_, but he can't avoid looking at the name she touches. _Elizabeth Weir_. He can't keep from taking a deep breath. As long ago as it is, that name always gives him a stab when he comes here. No one who'd been part of the Expedition under her command had ever been able to forget her and the tragic end she had fallen victim to.

"It's really a pity." Shaken from his reverie, he turns to the woman beside him… and is surprised to finally see who it is. Laura Cadman. Older and with a few lines in her face that definitely hadn't been there ten years ago and much more elegant than he thought he'd ever see her.

"What exactly do you mean…" He realizes he has no idea how to address her since she disappeared from everyone's radar when she decided to leave the Expedition. He doesn't even know if she's still in the Corps.

She seems to have noticed his hesitation and smiles a little lenient smile, helping him out with, "Mrs. Cadman-Burnett." When he doesn't say anything because that little interjection has revealed more than one thing and he needs a few seconds to process that, she adds, "And I meant that they still make the world believe that Elizabeth Weir and Rodney McKay and all the others died for "deep space telemetry"."

She rolls her eyes a little, letting the old Cadman show through under the layers of a respectable married… whatever she is doing now. He shortly lets his gaze swerve back to the wall, catching the name _Mikhail Sokholov_, immediately connecting that name with a Russian soldier having been killed on 'Gate security duty when he'd gotten in the way of a bullet coming in from the other side. Secretly… he shares her opinion. But unlike her his job still has something to do with the Stargate program and there's a certain amount of loyalty he owes to his employer. "Hate to say it, but there's a reason for that… Mrs. Cadman-Burnett." It's so strange… not calling her by her rank or simply "Cadman".

A little embarrassed, she reaches up to put a strand of hair behind her ear, but her French knot is perfect and she realizes she just grabbed into air. Tightening her lips, she replies, "Yeah, I guess you're right. And Laura is absolutely okay… Colonel. Still in the Air Force, I see." He sighs.

"Yeah, well, a man needs at least _one_ thing to hold on to." Once upon a time, he'd thought that this was _marriage_, but ever since his divorce three years ago, he has decided that being married to the Air Force is the only commitment he is obviously capable of. "Anyway… what about you?"

She doesn't answer right away, fiddles a little with her hands. Then, "I could tell you… but then I'd have to shoot you." It's supposed to sound like a joke, but the smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes tells him that she is dead serious and that he should refrain from inquiring further. Whoa… he'd never thought he'd meet someone who had to keep secrets from _him_.

Okay, so… what other small-talk topic is there? Well, yes, he _could_ just close this conversation now, but if he's honest… it's been _ages_ since he saw someone he served with on Atlantis and since he had felt _okay_ with talking to someone from Atlantis or the SGC. Usually there just were too many painful memories that could have come up in the process. However, today… he suddenly feels in the mood for it. "Does that apply to questions regarding the double-barreled name as well? I mean, I have to say… it is a little surprising to see that you're married." Stupid idiot. Why should that be a surprise? _He_ had been married. Just because they hadn't heard anything from her after she left it doesn't mean she didn't have a _life_ after that.

To his surprise, she gives him a tight little smile and there's something looking strangely like wistfulness in her eyes for a moment. "Widowed, actually." Stupid, stupid, _stupid_ idiot. He just _had_ to put his foot into that one, hadn't he? 45 years and he still manages to make an ass of himself. "It's okay, Colonel. You couldn't have known that." He wants to say something – although he has no idea _what_ he could have possibly said – but she turns back to the wall again, putting her hand against the obsidian stone again. "I still can't believe it… so many gone."

The underlying sadness in her voice somehow moves him, and he still wants to make up for his misstep. "Yeah… so many gone. But some of us are still here."

She turns back to him, cocking her head a little… and looking like she _really_ saw him only now. A slow smile is spreading over her face, still with a sad edge to it, but also incorporating hope. "Yes… some of us are. I just… tend to forget that sometimes."

He takes a deep breath, not sure if what he's going to do now is really such a good idea. "Laura… what about… coffee? I mean, it's cold here and I could use one and…" Dammit, he's too old for that stupid coffee game. He used to be quite eloquent, but that must have been so long ago that he forgot when that actually was.

"I could use one, too. Know any good places for that around here?" Oh. That… isn't quite the answer he had expected, but it's still good. Granted, it's a strange place for all of this, but… it was about time this place lost a bit of the gloom and sadness it always instilled in him. After all… these people gave their lives so that all others on Earth and in the Pegasus Galaxy could live theirs.

"Yeah, I do. Come on, you're invited." They both turn to go and as she walks past him, he throws a last look at the memorial over his shoulder… and raises his hand in a casual salute. He'll come back again, of course. Maybe alone… and maybe not.


	25. 036 Smell 040 Sight

**A/N:** Okay... it's a little experiment. Actually, this story includes five prompts, not just one, but every segment is longer than 100 words and so can count as a story, according to the rules of Fanfic100. I just didn't want to post them indiviually and therefore merged them into one story. I guess that can still count as fulfilling the challenge ;) Thanks a lot to **mac** for the betaing and reassuring me I'm not breaking Fanfic100 rules ;)

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Prompts: 036 Smell, 039 Taste, 038 Touch, 037 Sound, 040 Sight

**Gonna be okay**

"_At the end of a long day  
It's gonna be okay  
On the nightshift."_

_The Commodores, "Nightshift"_

_Smell_

Fire and ashes… tangy and dirty and with a note of something chemical and metallic… Those are the first things that penetrate the wall of unconsciousness. Her nose is full of it, and there's also the acrid and nauseating smell of burned flesh floating around somewhere. She wants to shake her head, reach up to her nose and wipe the offending smells away, but she finds that she simply lacks the strength for it.

The next thing she realizes is that… it's dark around her. _Completely_ dark. Panic starts to engulf her and she takes a deep breath to calm herself down… which is when she registers a wave of something else… disinfectants and something clean… starched sheets. _Infirmary_. Relieved, she takes another breath and is baffled to find that among all of that there's also the smell of… _someone_. Definitely masculine and… is that weapon oil underneath the cologne? Before she can continue pondering the scents surrounding her, though, her body decides to give her new a challenge and she suddenly starts to cough.

_Taste_

Just a few moments after she could tamp down the first panic attack, she finds herself on the verge of another one, because she can _feel_ herself coughing, but she doesn't _hear_ it. In fact, she doesn't _hear_ anything. In her mouth, the sour taste of fear starts to well up, and she really has a hard time fighting it. She's not strong enough to make it fully go away… and so she's thankful when someone puts something that feels like a glass to her lips and something moist trickles into her mouth. It's just a few drops of water, but the slight sweetness and softness have never tasted better before.

The coughing ceases and leaves her heaving. After a few more moments, there's the glass again and a few more drops. Whoever is responsible for this, he – it's definitely that scent from before, now even stronger so that someone must be leaning towards her – has a good timing and is very gentle… and patient to boot. It seems to take an eternity, but eventually she feels the somewhat foul taste in her mouth being washed away. A little exhausted, she leans back in her cushion again.

_Touch_

Now that she knows where she is and that there's someone beside her… she should feel content just to lie there and get better. But as it is… bits and pieces of the reason she landed herself in here come back to her. She's been in an explosion, too close to be safe from it because… because someone _else_ had been too close to it first and she knew she had to do something about it. And now, obviously as an aftereffect, she is both blind and deaf.

It means… it means she can't ask if the others survived, can't see if the rest of her body is okay – the amount of pain she is still in tells her a pretty obvious story – won't be able to understand how long it will stay like this… if it's even permanent. The panic she could fight down before is full on now and even though she doesn't want to she starts to toss around and can just barely keep from hyperventilating.

For a few terrifying moments she is afraid that being in the infirmary was just a hallucination, but then she feels the soft pressure of a hand holding her down to the bed and the fleeting touch of an obviously female hand on her forehead. It manages to calm her down a little, but she still can't keep her hands from opening and closing restlessly.

Until she feels one of them being enclosed in a hand that's quite different from the one before, that is. It's definitely male, strong… _Carson_? No… no, Carson is somewhere in the galaxy, on his own "Doctors without Borders in Space" mission, as far as she knows. So who's… the hand tightens its grip on hers, with just enough pressure to be reassuring and firm and gives her something to cling to. It's… rougher than Carson's, a bit calloused, but warm and dry. As the pressure continues, somehow telling her it won't go away for the time being, she finally calms down enough to let the painkillers in her system do their work and drifts off.

_Sound_

She has lost every sense of time, and that irks her. She used to be so good at this, but without sight and hearing, she feels like being in a vast black expense, with only smells and tastes and touches as her anchors. If she's ever going to regain the lacking two senses – she has simply forbidden herself to believe in anything else – she will never again complain about glaring sun or bad music.

And so she spent her days trying to find another way of measuring time without the ticking or the bright digits of a clock. The male hand and the accompanying scent haven't been always there – sometimes it feels like they are away for days – but she found out that they _do_ follow a pattern… like someone spending part of their off-shift time with her. She's racked her brain to find out who it might be, but she has rejected every possibility she could come up with.

Until… until she wakes up and… there's something. Something else than the infirmary smells and the feel of the sheets against her skin. It's a… scratching. At first she thinks she's imagining it, having been locked up in her soundless, dark world for too long, but then other sounds start to filter through. Faint clattering of metal instruments, talking, beeping… but the one that really gets to her is the scratching, because she can't connect it with anything familiar. It's varying in intensity, volume and velocity, but it seems like it's not completely irregular.

She stirs and the scratching stops. "Evening, Captain. Feeling better today?" Holy… She must be imagining this. It just _can't_ be. How the hell… but before she knows it, her training takes over.

"A bit, sir." Silence. Feels a bit like _stunned_ silence, actually.

Then, "You… you heard that?" Mh.

"Lucky it was something harmless, huh?" Again silence. Oops. One could have thought her predicament might have humbled her a bit, but obviously some things never change. So she waits for the blow up to descend on her, but it just never comes.

Instead, there's a call of "Doc, Captain Cadman's got her hearing back. Yeah, well, and her usual charm." She wants to answer with something like "I _heard_ that, alright?", but there are fast steps now and then another voice.

_Sight_

"Good to have you back, Laura. You gave us quite a scare, actually." Gave _them_ a scare? What about the scare she gave _herself_? She's about to say so, but Jennifer Keller is obviously fully in her element. "Anyway… I think we shouldn't postpone it anymore. Marie, give me a hand here, will you?" Shouldn't postpone _what_… Oh, right. Someone has just started to unwrap the bandage around her head.

Maybe a good moment to fill in a few of the blanks. "Not to sound overly curious or something, but… what the hell _happened_ to me?" To her surprise it isn't Jennifer who answers, but the one she still doesn't believe to be actually here.

"Three weeks ago we went on a mission together. A geological expedition, and you were responsible for a team setting up small charges. One of them accidentally detonated close to some explosive ore. Luckily you were close enough to react before it was too late, but you… you did take quite a hit." She scrunches her forehead, trying to connect the bits she remembers with what he just told her and… it seems to add up.

And then there's the big moment… the last part of the bandage is about to come off. "Keep your eyes closed, Laura." Jennifer advises her and for a moment she fears that the night that engulfed her for so long will never end again, but then she can see the infirmary lights filter through her closed eyelids and a certain kind of giddiness nearly overwhelms her.

Finally Jennifer gives her green light and very slowly she opens her eyes. For a moment, there are only fuzzy shapes visible, but her gaze clears up and well… seeing is believing, she guesses. Beside an expectant Jennifer Keller there's Major Lorne, not quite able to decide between trying to look unfazed and letting some… worry show through. She knows she should stop that but she can't tear her gaze away from the Major. What the _hell_ is he doing here? She doesn't even fully register Jennifer saying, "Oh well… guess we'll give you some space, huh?" and leaving.

What she does register is the stack of paperwork beside her bed, the sketchbook, the half empty coffee cup, a battered paperback edition of _Catch 22_… She looks at the Major again and is surprised to see his cheeks color slightly. Or is that just a trick of light to her still vulnerable eyes? She swallows. "That was… _you_?"

They both know what she means. The masculine scent and the hand that have reassured her, calmed her, encouraged her all through these last three weeks. She has this feeling that he knows _exactly_ what he did for her and how important these usually small things had become for her, because he takes his time with answering and averts her gaze until he finally settles with, "Least I could do for saving my life. Thanks, Captain."

And the final puzzle piece falls into place. She looks at his hands again, one in his pocket, one loosely on her bed. She's gonna miss them, that's for sure. "My pleasure, sir."

To her surprise… he doesn't start packing away his stuff, but… sits down beside the bed again after another moment of silence. She follows him with her eyes and so doesn't miss the insecure note to the little smile he's displaying as he says, "So… got anything to do tonight, Captain? Because, you know, there's a mission report begging to be written."

She smiles herself and softly shakes her head. "I won't be going anywhere tonight, sir." His smile grows a little more confident and they settle in for a quiet night on Atlantis.


	26. 020 Colorless

**A/N:** Okay, I _really_ shouldn't be doing this now (seeing as I'm officially attending a meeting of a political youth organization right now and there's something really important being discussed at the moment), but obviously my attention span just isn't the longest ;) And well... it was bound to happen, huh (and yes I already see all of you rolling your eyes and thinking "She really doesn't miss at least _one_ cliché.")? I still couldn't avoid doing at least one piece on art ;) Anyway, thanks to **mac** who, surprisingly, still hasn't despaired at my constant mixing up of "contend" and "content" (honestly... I'll _never_ learn to remember which is which...). I'm not sure if _I _would have her patience...

* * *

Prompt: 020 Colorless

**Colors changing hue**

"_Colors changing hue  
Morning fields of amber grain  
Weathered faces lined in pain  
Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand."_

_Don McLean, "Vincent"_

That one she really likes best. The colors are perfect – expressive, vivid, but always well-placed and well-dosed. She knows he took very long to perfect it, really took his time with it. It had cost him a lot of patience – babies aren't exactly easy models – but he'd never lost his nerve with Torren, even when _Teyla_ nearly had. She'd been there most of the sessions they'd had and just once she had been able to reign in her restless energy and just sit on the sidelines, content to watch how he had wrestled with the right perspective, the right position, the right colors.

Almost unconsciously, her fingers trace the roughness of the oil paint against the canvas, a relief all in its own. She remembers how happy and how proud he'd been when he had finished this one. It's not really big, but little Torren looks great on it. She could sit here for hours and hours and look at this picture, although she knows she really shouldn't pass time in his quarters.

She's been here much too often in the last few days… over a week now. For a short moment she squeezes her eyes shut, not wanting to think about the reason why she's coming to his quarters again and again, although she knows she shouldn't. Instead, she puts the painting away and takes up his sketchbook.

Her gaze falls on a sketch of one of the mainland's beaches, his next project. He'd said after Torren he'd wanted to do something that didn't move… or at least didn't move quite that often and unpredictably. When he'd told her she'd already looked forward to it, especially when he'd also told her he'd wanted her to come with him. Just the two of them, two or three afternoons, very quiet… soothing for both of them after so much hassle from the last weeks.

And then… She shakes her head, concentrates on the pictures again. She loves looking at his pictures… except a few certain ones. She knows in there are also pictures of her, but she somehow always avoided looking at them. It feels like where other men would pay her compliments he draws her – but compliments of _every_ kind make her uncomfortable and she's afraid of what she might see in these pictures, since his way of drawing and painting tells so much about him.

In the way he painted Torren she can see that he longed to see his nephews again… so lovingly the strokes, so careful the details. Then there is a picture of Samantha Carter they asked him to paint for the Colonel's one year anniversary on Atlantis. It's not here – and not in Colonel Carter's office either, which just serves to harden her suspicions that it's rather hanging _somewhere_ on Earth – but she still remembers that he put a lot of respect into that picture, cautious not to paint her in a standard portrait position but rather deep in thought at her desk, engrossed in her work.

Afraid she'll stumble over one of the pictures he drew of her, she shuts the sketchbook. For a moment, her throat constricts with the tears she forbids herself to spill and through the inevitable moisture in her eyes, his quarters suddenly look strangely fogged… all the colors blur into a hideous gray… or is that just her mind mirroring how she feels inside ever since he didn't come back from that mission over a week ago?

She shouldn't sit here. She has a job to do. He wouldn't want her sitting around and getting teary-eyed over his paintings. With a determination she doesn't really feel, she stands up again and manages to take one step after the other, until she's finally out of the door and in one of the many Atlantis corridors again. She forces herself to walk away from the empty quarters, back into more crowded areas, where it's easier to hide away from the dreadful feelings inside.

Just as she is about to enter her lab to pass another day with pretending to herself that working her ass off can turn the gray inside into colors again, she suddenly bumps into something… _someone_ solid. She looks up to see… unruly hair and a raised eyebrow. Oh. Dammit. Flustered, she hastens to apologize to Colonel Sheppard, but he just shakes his head. "It's okay, Lieutenant." She wants to say something, but her throat is still clogged with all the tears she swallowed. Embarrassed, she wants to turn away, but Sheppard forces her to hold his gaze and adds, "We'll find him, Cadman. We'll find him and bring him home in one piece. Trust me."

Oh God, how she wants to. But it's been over a week now… and the chances that they _do_ find him and bring him home sink with every day and every lead that ends up in the middle of nowhere. And with every day… there seem to be a little less colors and a little more gray. She takes a deep breath. "Yes, sir. Of course, sir."

Sheppard wants to say something, but is cut short by someone raising him on the radio. He listens to it, then answers in very short terms, only telling them to have his team and a jumper ready. When he's done, he almost turns to run, but then he seems to remember her. "Lieutenant… would you mind tagging along on something very likely to become search and rescue?"

She swallows and when her brain registers what he just said… the corridor seems to brighten up a bit. Maybe… _maybe_ she _will_ get her afternoons on the mainland after all. "No, sir. I wouldn't mind it at all."


	27. 028 Children

**A/N:** OMFG, is working again. It's a miracle! And could _please_ someone put up some nice little message telling us what's wrong and when we can expect it to be fixed next time something like this happens? Thank you. Anyway, where was I? Oh right... after so many stories that were kind of contemplative and/or had a sad edge to them... how about something lighter again? And thanks to **mac** for betaing even though I keep messing up her native tongue way beyond possible... and for giving me that evil, _evil_ new plot bunny.

* * *

Prompt: 028 Children

**Leave them kids alone**

"_We don't need no education  
We don't need no thought control  
No dark sarcasm in the classroom  
Teachers leave them kids alone  
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!"_

_Pink Floyd, "Another Brick in the Wall"_

"Shouldn't someone… you know… stop them?" She looks from the unbelievable sight before her to the man standing beside her. The question he just asked… did have a dangerous undertone to it.

"Well… yeah, sir?" The Major gives her a somewhat disapproving look. Yeah, well, it's not her fault he asked such an imprecise question. Then he gestures towards the… commotion.

"So what's stopping you from going ahead, Lieutenant?" Oh please.

"Uh… the fact that you're the senior ranking officer around here, sir?" Come on, say it, she thinks. Tell me you're afraid of a bunch of Marines who are having the pillow fight of their lives.

"Yeah, well, but they're _Marines_." And that makes them her responsibility… _how_?

"Actually, they're _kids_. Well, in their heads, that is. And, quite frankly, sir, I have _no_ experience with babysitting whatsoever. I just happened to get stuck here." But you should have that experience. Because by now everyone here knows you have two nephews. Don't even _think_ about passing this one on to me.

He takes a deep breath and wants to say something – no doubt something not exactly favorable for her – but gets hit by a pretty accurately aimed pillow coming from Lieutenant Branson. If he hadn't just been about to give her piece of his mind, she'd have found his very stoic and somehow resigned face quite comical, most of all with the cheering and applauding from the Marines currently not quite themselves. Taking another deep breath, he obviously tries to get a grip on himself.

"Look, Lieutenant… I'm not happy about this current assignment either. But until the gee… scientists have figured out how to turn them back, _someone_ has to take care of these men." Of course. She knows that and she wants to tell him so, but he's not finished. "We don't know how much of their skills are repressed by whatever happened and as long as they aren't able to judge their decisions appropriately, we need to have a very close eye on them. And we have to do that _together_."

She sighs, partly because she already knew that and partly because Sergeant Rayne just managed to make one of the pillows burst by hitting Sergeant Dickson over the head with it. Whose _brilliant_ idea was it to have all of them bunk together in one of the isolation rooms, huh? "Of course, sir. I know that. But as I said, I don't have any babysitting experiences." She gives him an apologetic shrug. "Sorry I can't be of any help, sir."

He rubs a hand over his eyes. Well, well… could it be true? Could _that_ be where even Major Lorne, USAF, gives up and is at his wits' end? Could it be that a bunch of Marines that got themselves turned back into kids because one of them was stupid enough to touch something he shouldn't have touched manage to do what no Unas, Goa'uld, Wraith, Genii or other hostile alien race or entity could manage? "I really don't get it… shouldn't we have had that kind of thing already enough? I really thought that there were only so many mind-warping devices in this galaxy."

Poor Major, she finds herself thinking. And indeed he does look a little pitiful. She can see that he really tries to keep up his usual façade, but somehow the Marines' raucous behavior does get to him. Atlantis Marines already are an… interesting bunch when in their right minds – if such a thing exists, that is – but yeah, this is just a little bit tougher.

She looks back at the bunch. They're still getting it on with the pillows, and they start to unnerve her as well. Which… serves to remind her of something. Of _course_. She turns back to the Major. "Know any good scary stories, sir?"

He looks at her as if he starts to suspect something happened to her mind as well. "I beg your pardon, Lieutenant?"

She lets a wicked grin flash. "You said we needed to do this together. And your part is the scary stories. Just leave the rest to me."

"Lieutenant…" She rolls her eyes.

"It's gonna work, trust me. So?" He sighs again and then nods.

"Yeah, I do know a few. And now?" She gives him another wicked grin and then puts her thumb and her index finger in her mouth to give a really piercing whistle. So piercing in fact that not only do the five Marines immediately stop their pillow battle but Major Lorne also jumps visibly.

"Alright, listen up, folks: You can either continue that pillow fight cr… stuff _or_ you can get your spine chilled by Major Scary here. There's even flash lights… and maybe I can find some marshmallows. If you all behave yourselves." Silence and stunned looks. From _all_ the resident males. Ha!

The Marines consider this for a moment, eyeing Major Lorne a little warily – hopefully none of them will remember this or she just got him a new nickname – and then looking back at her. Come on, she silently pleads, buy it. Don't make me delegate this back to Major Scary. You'll _hate_ it. And _he_'ll hate it. Then Rayne steps forward. "He doesn't look really scary."

Is that indignation and a bit of injured male pride she can see in Major Lorne's face? "Oh, believe me; he knows some pretty scary stories. You do, sir, right?"

He clears his throat, still not quite willing to play along. "Well… uh… yeah. Of course." The five soldiers don't look too convinced.

"He doesn't look like scary stories, too." _Either_, she wants to correct automatically, but that probably wouldn't do much for her standing. Behind Major Lorne, Branson just started making funny faces and she has to take very great care not to break out laughing. In his usual self, the Lieutenant is a rather quiet, dutiful man… almost shy when he's not on duty. In a corner of her mind she's already plotting ways to get a private copy of the surveillance video, in case anyone here ever tried to act up against her.

Branson continues his grimacing, and she decides to step in, but Major Lorne surprises her, slowly turning around to Branson and staring the Lieutenant down. "Do I still lack scariness, young man?" Immediately, the Lieutenant stops and swallows.

"No… sir?" Ah, the Major's world is right again, as the righteous satisfaction that just crossed his face tells her. And obviously that served to back up his credibility for scary stories, as well. The Marines do look at him with a whole new kind of respect… well, for guys with the mental age of about ten, that is. But then again, most guys don't grow older than… Okay, concentrate on the job.

"Right, okay… now that we could clear that up… everyone sit down on the ground." They turn back to her, a little skeptical and she finds herself rolling her eyes. "Shoo, guys or there won't be any storytelling tonight." And now her trump card. "And _definitely_ no marshmallows." Immediately, they scramble to sit down and while they all try to get sorted out, the Major turns back to her.

"Didn't you tell me you had no babysitting experience?" he asks her in a voice a little lower. She can't hold back a grin.

"And I really don't. _But_ I used to train the local elementary school's baseball team when I was in college. One summer training camp and you'll never be afraid of eight-year olds again." He raises his eyebrow, as if he isn't quite sure if she isn't just joking.

"Baseball, huh?" Hey, is that really so hard to imagine? "Okay, I just won't ask," Oh, something of her indignation must have shown. And what is that sudden grin on the Major's face supposed to mean? "… Coach Cadman."

She can't resist making a face herself. "I wouldn't say that too loud… Major Scary." He wants to give something back, but the Marines have finally finished settling down and she just gives him a hint by jerking her head towards the guys. With a slightly irritated rolling of his eyes, he turns around and settles down in front of the eagerly waiting Marines.

"Okay… any of you ever heard of the Wraith?" They all shake their heads, already excited about what might come now. Ah, she _knew_ he was the right one for the stories. Smiling, she also settles down in her own corner. "Alright… let me tell you about them then…"


	28. 076 Who

**A/N:** Ladies and gentlemen, I give you now... Amy MacDonald Theme Month. Which basically means that I had a little challenge with myself going on to see if I could write a story for every song (except the hidden bonus track, that is) on Amy MacDonald's "This Is The Life" album (European readers might be familiar with her, most of all those from the UK and Germany). So... what can I say? I could, so March will be the month that only features stories written for those songs, posted in the order they are on the album (don't ask...). And let me tell you... some of them were _real_ tough cookies to write ;) Anyway, thanks to **mac** for the betaing (and liking Amy MacDonalds when I introduced her to some of Amy's songs ;))!

BTW, this one... could be a kind of "What if..." to the "Protect and Survive" stories. You'll see, why.

* * *

Prompt: 076 Who?

**So they must depart**

"_And so they must depart  
To many more a broken heart  
But I've seen that all before  
In TV, books and film and more  
And there's a happy ending  
Every single day."_

_Amy MacDonald, "Mr. Rock and Roll"_

Whoa. Whoever would have thought she'd ever look like that. All in white and like a gigantic meringue, although everyone assured her that it's _not_ a meringue dress. But yeah, the skirts have a certain fluffiness to them and there's the veil – why ever didn't she stop her mother from adding this particular item? – and… yeah, she looks like a giant piece of pastry. She sighs.

She'd really tried to convince Carson to skip the whole big wedding thing and simply elope – they _are_ in Scotland and really not _that_ far from Gretna Green, as cliché as it is – but he'd insisted on an old fashioned big family wedding and _of course_ he was right. Her mother probably would have cut her out of her will if she'd taken the opportunity to see her little girl walk down the aisle on the arm of her father away from her. Another sigh and another look in the mirror.

"Getting cold feet?" She smirks at the reflection of the man that just opened the door behind her and is now leaning on the door frame with his arms crossed.

"Under tons of silk and taffeta and in the middle of summer? Not very likely, don't you think?" Looking down and grinning, he pushes himself away from the doorframe and comes sauntering into the room, the hands in the pockets of his Dress Blues' trousers.

"You know what I mean, Laura." She resists yet _another_ sigh. Yes, of course she does. There's been only one person among all her friends and relatives whom she called onto when a few weeks ago sudden pre-wedding jitters had her fully in their firm grip: Major Evan Lorne, her CO… and maybe what you could call her best friend.

There'd been this night on Atlantis, when she'd woken up beside Carson and looked at him and suddenly… felt like it was all… wrong. The feeling had nearly terrified her and because she didn't want to wake Carson – not to mention that she would have lacked the words to explain to him what was happening without scaring him off or making him angry – she'd gotten out of bed as fast as she could and woken up Evan. Of course it had been mighty embarrassing once she'd stood in front of his door and he'd opened with bed hair and tired eyes, but she'd just known that of all the people on Atlantis he was maybe the only one who understood her well enough to know what an emergency that was.

"Course I do. And no, I'm not getting cold feet. I'm just wondering why I ever thought it was a good idea to have my mother have a say in the dress I'm going to wear." A little scowling she lifts her skirts a few inches and sticks out her tongue. "Honestly, what's wrong with Dress Blues? _You_ are all allowed to wear them."

He takes a deep breath and she's sure he'll make a stupid quip about wondering if she's really a girl after all, but to her surprise he says, "You look beautiful, Laura. The Doc will be… he'll… if he didn't already love you he'd fall in love the moment he sees you."

She wishes he'd not said that, like she wished he hadn't said all the other cryptic stuff he said over the last year. Time and again, something like that slipped out and every time both of them had taken great care to pretend it was something totally normal to say to a subordinate and friend… just like… just like they'd pretended that it was normal that he was the only one she allowed to come near her when a mission had gone wrong. She knows that in a perfect world, this would have been Carson, but if this world was perfect… there wouldn't even be missions that go wrong to start with.

"Evan…" She should tell him now what they have both known all along: That there are about a _million_ reasons why they should _stop_ whatever they're doing – or _not_ doing – here. She's his subordinate and she's his friend and she's about going to get fucking _married_ to Carson Beckett. But sometimes she's just such a damn coward. "Thank you. I do appreciate a little well-placed white lie now and then."

He swallows, and for a moment she has the terrible feeling he will say something both of them will regret, but then he does something a little unexpected: He hugs her. Not in a crushing bear hug, but strong enough that had her mother been in the room, he'd have to face her wrath for wrinkling the veil now. "You'll make the Doc a very happy man today."

For a moment, she's dumbfounded. Close physical contact isn't uncommon between them, but it's not exactly an everyday occurrence, either. Usually it's reserved for very emotional situations, where nothing but a touch can get you down to earth, but yeah… your best friend getting married could count as one of those situations as well. So she hugs him back, closing her eyes… feeling the muscles on his back under his uniform's fabric, strangely tense… smelling his very unique scent, so different from Carson's… "And he knows he owes that all to you."

Instead of answering, he just gives her another squeeze and with a start she realizes that this was _cruel_. While it _is_ the truth – Evan being the one helping her not to lose faith that she and Carson could start over – that squeeze somehow tells her that doing all of this has hurt him more than all the Pegasus galaxy's Wraith together. Suddenly she fiercely regrets inviting Evan to her wedding and feels like a goddamn fool and asshole for doing this to him. In the desperate attempt to communicate an apology to him and because she's afraid to lose her best friend to her idiocy, she tightens her hold.

Until she hears another voice from the door, that is. "Laura? It's time." Immediately, Evan lets go of her and in the attempt to save at least a bit of his dignity, clears his throat.

"Yeah, right. I trust you not to trip on the way down the aisle, Captain." She covers her own completely riled up spirits with a smirk and a stuck out tongue, but doesn't get to answer him, because he just gives her father a nod and then is gone, to take his place among the other guests in the church.

Her father comes into the room and she expects him to simply take her arm and take all insecurities and confusion from her. And yes, he attempts to, but… before she can even touch him he takes a deep breath. "Honey… I don't want you to answer me. I just want you to listen to me. I will lead you out there with the greatest pleasure and without any regrets… but only if _you_ could also very well walk out there on your own, with no one that has to lead you or give you directions. Carson loves you and he deserves a bride that doesn't have regrets and didn't just want the safe way out. Because the safest way out isn't always the _best_ way out, Laura."

The safest way out… does her decision to marry Carson really come down to that? She looks out the window and swallows. And as if Fate wants to throw even more at her, she sees that Evan hadn't gone back into the church. In fact… he has sat down on one of the benches in front of it, his head in his hands, looking utterly forlorn… the sight gives her an unsuspectedly fierce stab in the heart and she realizes that no matter how she decides now, she will make one man happy today… and break another man's heart. But she _has_ to make a decision, once and for all… for the one she can walk up to all on her own.

She takes a deep breath and walks towards her father. Smiling, she stands on her tiptoes and gives him a soft kiss on the cheek. "As always, daddy knows best. Thanks." Determinedly, she gathers up her skirts and walks out of the room, with the step of a woman who knows with unerring certainty that she just made the right decision.

* * *

**A/N #2:** Okay, tell me... who do you think is she going to end up with? ;)


	29. 060 Drink

**A/N:** Look how fast **mac** betaed this one! She's a real gem of a beta-reader :firm nod: And for everyone wondering if there might be a sequel to the last story: Yes, there is. Or, more precisely, there are two, because _someone_ presuaded me to write one for each possible outcome. However, they'll have to wait, since they aren't Amy-MacDonald-stories. Hope that's okay with you.  


* * *

Prompt: 060 Drink

**In the morning**

"_And you wake up in the morning and your head feels twice the size  
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?  
Where you gonna sleep tonight?"_

_Amy MacDonald, "This is the Life"_

Aw, crap. Either she got hit by a Hive or… someone spiked her drink last night. Of course, she could have simply had one too many, but that's impossible. She _never_ has one too many. However… she still has a splitting headache, yucky feeling in her mouth, queasy feeling in her stomach… basically, it's a hell of a hangover.

She knows she should open her eyes and try to find an aspirin or something similar or at least a cup of coffee but opening her eyes would also mean doubling the headache – although it seems very unlikely to her that they still _can_ be doubled. A groan escapes her mouth. "Morning, Lieutenant." What the…?

Before she knows it, she has turned around, sat up and opened her eyes. Immediately she regrets it, for several reasons. First and foremost, the splitting headache has temporarily increased to blinding. When that ceases a little, she blinks and looks into the room, hoping the voice she just heard was a hallucination induced by residual alcohol. But _no_, the universe doesn't do her the favor. It _was_ Major Lorne. Who leans against his desk with his hands in his pockets and looks at her trying very hard not to let the gloating edge show through too much. "Coffee?"

Instead of an immediate answer, she puts her forehead on the backrest of the couch she'd been lying on and groans again. Which is when she realizes that these… are _not_ her quarters. But if these aren't her quarters… and if Major Lorne just offered her coffee… Holy. Fucking. Crap. "You take sugar? Cream?" What the _hell_ is so funny about all of this?

But yeah… come to think of it… coffee would be nice indeed. Still not looking up and mumbling something incoherent, she simply stretches out her hand – "Ah, black then." – and promptly there's a cup shoved into it. Slowly she raises her head as not to cause another surge of headaches and takes a sip.

Okay, maybe not such a good idea, considering the nausea accompanying the headaches… but at least the hotness and the caffeine help to chase away some of the cobwebs the alcohol left behind. Alright, so… yesterday evening, Captain Hayley's birthday, generous amount of alcohol, a drinking contest between zoomies and jarheads Marines winning… and then nothing. Not good because that still doesn't explain to her how she ended up in foreign… Major _Lorne_'s quarters. Well… better rip off the band-aid now. "Sir… permission to ask you a question?"

She doesn't dare looking at him because in a way the amusement that had been showing through before had been much scarier than any mean looks. "Of course. Shoot." That's not fair, she thinks. She's _suffering_ here and he obviously sees it as entertainment.

"Beg your pardon but… how did I end up _here_?" No immediate answer and she has this feeling that he's doing this just because he can.

Then, "Well… after your glorious victory against the USAF drinking team I just had the feeling it might be better if we gave the champion a rest and since you weren't really yourself and my quarters were closer than yours… I'm sure you can do the math, even in your slightly incapacitated condition." Do the math? _Do the math_?

She gives up not looking at him and… he really seems to enjoy knowing more than her. Basically… she has every faith in him that he wouldn't take advantage of her – and why the hell should he? – but she doesn't have enough faith in _herself_ to know she wouldn't at least _try_ something highly inappropriate under the influence of way too much alcohol. Better ask now. If she was stupid enough to try anything in public it's all over Atlantis already anyway. "Uh… did we… I mean, did _I_… uh…"

He puts his hand over his mouth, probably to smother a grin. Thankfully, he does take a little pity on her and says, "No, not in the least." She feels relief surging through her and makes a mental note to never again drink alcohol in the presence of Major Lorne or any other man she feels remotely attracted to. "However…" Oh God. That can't be good. Whatever will come now simply can't be good, the way his grin just changed into a feral one. "Dr. Parrish did receive quite a lot of attention from you in the last hour or so… until I saved you from doing something you might probably regret the morning after."

Please someone tell her he's just doing this to torture her a little and teach her a lesson about knowing your limits with everything intoxicating. _Please_. "You're… you're joking, right, sir?" _Please_ tell me you are.

"Hate to say it, but… no, I'm not. Don't worry, I think Dr. Parrish's tolerance level for alcohol is much lower than yours. I really don't think he'll remember much." Right. Okay. Unfortunately… she can hear the one thing he didn't say: That _he_ will remember it. This really is all kinds of… disastrous. And embarrassing not to forget. Alright… first things first now.

"Sir… you'll have my eternal gratefulness if you keep this to yourself. I'd really owe you one for this. Just…" Did that sound like begging? From the look of him… maybe a bit.

He comes sauntering over from the desk and half sits down on the backrest, his arms crossed. "Keep my trap shut. Alright. And you know what? I'll even try my best to keep it from spreading. If…" If? _If_? Is this going to be _blackmail_? "If you let the USAF win next time. I guess they took losing against a couple of gi… Marines pretty hard. So just for the sake of the peace between the Air Force and the USMC contingents… cut them some slack next time." Okay… who is that and what did he do with Major Lorne?

"Sir… just to make sure that I'm not hallucinating or something… you're asking me to let the USAF win next time we have a drinking contest?" He nods, a little resigned now.

"Yeah, well… since we can't _ban_ drinking contests anyway… I had this idea that the score should be kept even at least. So?" She puts her elbow up on the backrest, resting her still pounding head on her hand. Well… obviously, the offers are on the table. Looking up at him proves to be a difficulty, but she's a Marine. Difficulties are nothing to them.

"Did I get that right? The price for _maybe_ no one remembering my alcohol induced interest for Dr. Parrish is that I betray _Corps honor_ next time a flyboy – or flygirl – challenges me over a drink or two? I really think you'd get off rather cheap, sir." That… wipes the grin off his face. Well… a little.

"Okay, if you put it like that… it _might_ sound like I'm trying to fleece you." She just nods, getting the feeling that she's slowly starting to get the upper hand here. "But… I'm not. Honestly. I'm just trying to keep the peace in this city." She nods again, benevolently. She can _feel_ that she's just _this_ close to have him begging. "So… let me rephrase it. You would do me a _great_ favor if you… well…"

"Cheated?" He clears his throat.

"That's… such an ugly word. Look, it's not really betraying Corps honor. It's…" If he says please, she thinks, _maybe_ I'll give in to him. Which is kind of strange, considering they are in _his_ quarters – and she's not so sure anymore if that is just a coincidence or if he'd seized his chance yesterday to try and blackmail her into this – and it's _his_ coffee she drinks. "Uh… it's sacrificing a little victory for keeping a great peace?"

Aw, isn't that cute? His nearly desperate face is so adorable that her headache seems to lessen every time she looks at it. Should she let him dangle a little more? Nah… better not overdo it. "I really admire how dedicated you are to this city, sir… I mean, kidnapping a Marine and then trying to bribe her with coffee and blackmail her with a little drunken flirting… that really takes balls." Mh. That's _not_ what's meant with "not overdo it". But yeah, she should refrain from pointing out that what people might be thinking about _this_ is about ten times worse than what they might be thinking about her and Parrish now.

He sighs defeated. "Alright… what would it take that you and the other Marines will not drink every USAF soldier under the table here every time there is official or unofficial consummation of alcohol involved?" _Now_ you're talking.

All of a sudden… the hangover doesn't seem so bad anymore. Granted, she'll stay away from any alcohol – and Dr. Parrish, come to think of it – for at least a few weeks now, but that little discussion proved to be quite a good countermeasure. Or is it the coffee? "First of all… that thing with Parrish: Not a word, to anyone." He nods, even a little more resigned. "Then: You flyboys stop cheating at volleyball. _Don't_ even think about denying it. We all _know_ you do. And next time I'm asking for permission to set off experimental charges on the mainland? You say yes." He wants to say something, but she's not finished yet. "Also: Keep your flyboys from crashing our girls only poker nights. I mean it. They've become a nuisance and I _know_ that it's only zoomies because the Marines aren't stupid enough to try and mess with me and the other girls." He sighs _again_.

"Is that everything, Lieutenant?" Well… no. She has at least three other things she could bring up now, but… oh, she probably shouldn't waste all her gunpowder just yet. She nods.

"Yep. I'll even keep quiet on whose idea it was originally that we Marines don't do too much damage to your precious USAF egos, sir. Well… if you get me another cup of that coffee, that is." He's about to say something – no doubt something about bossy female Marines – but a carefully placed suffering look makes him get up and grant her that wish. Surprisingly enough, when he comes back and hands her the coffee he rounds the couch and sits down, grinning.

"You know… since you're already here and everything… tell me more about these "experimental charges" you want to blow up the mainland with?" Is he trying to _bribe_ her again? Coffee _and_ explosives talk? Oh well, carpe diem, isn't it?


	30. 011 Red

**A/N:** There we go again, week two of the AMCM, as **mac** has dubbed it ;) She also pointed out to me at least one major research flaw in this story for which I'm still _very_ grateful to her. BTW, I started twittering (i.e. microblogging on twitter[dot]com), mainly to read others twitter, but also to give short up-dates on my various stories that are unfinished or are in the development stage. So if you want to keep up to date also on the stories that I don't update quite as often as Fanfic100, please PM me and I will send you my nick on twitter (since it's different from the penname I use here). I promise to be more regular about this than with the actual updates to my multi-chaptered stories.

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Prompt: 011 Red

**What we all crave**

"_And what we all want and what we all crave,  
Is an upbeat song,  
So we can dance the night away."_

_Amy MacDonald, "Poison Prince"_

Why the hell did he let himself be dragged into this? Why, with his 35 years and the weight of his Major's oak leaves on his shoulders couldn't he say no to Cameron Mitchell and the bunch of young heroes following him devotedly and simply stay on the base? It was a long day and he has to catch the first flight to San Francisco early the next morning. He should be in bed by now.

But _no_, he's just entered one of the clubs in Colorado Springs he has managed to avoid for all the time he served here – first as a cadet of the Air Force Academy, then as a member of an SG-team. It's crowded with Armed Forces personnel. Young cadets happy to be away from the Academy's confines, soldiers who just returned from Iraq or Afghanistan, eager to forget about what they have seen, soldiers just about to leave for these countries, eager to forget about what they will see.

Aw, fuck. It's not only crowded, it's also loud as hell. He frowns. If he'd wanted loud, he could have just driven up to Peterson Air Force Base or Fort Carson. There at least it would have been the homely sound of good old Kiowa Warriors or C-130 Hercules engines. Granted, if he had the choice, he would always choose the flight deck onboard the _Daedalus_. Nothing like the roar of a finely tuned F-302…

"Hey, Major, is it just you or are all Atlantis soldiers so averse to having a little fun?" The frown stays put as he turns towards Colonel Mitchell, and only the fact that the other is a senior rank prevents him from giving back some cracking response. And anyway… he _can_ have fun. Just not… in this environment.

He's about to cast that in a carefully phrased answer, when another group enters the club. It's entirely made up of women, maybe five or six of them. All in their late twenties, maybe early thirties, and obviously set on having fun tonight as they storm the dance floor right away. One of them – a vivacious red-head – catches his eye almost immediately, even if he can only catch glimpses of her and mostly sees her back.

It's the way she moves, he decides. So totally carefree and confident, like she _knows_ she can move and turn heads if she just walks the right way. He's totally forgotten about answering Mitchell, and the Colonel seems to have noticed that all of a sudden the noise and the people don't seem to bother the Major anymore, anyway. His gaze is transfixed on the red-head, watching her every move, seeing her throw her hair, bending her head… and then she suddenly turns around to show him her profile and the crowd stays out of his sight long enough for him to realize that he _knows_ this woman.

It's one of the Marines that used to serve on Atlantis, a while back… he recalls that she had something going on with Carson Beckett, before they called it quits and she went back to Earth. Laura Cadman, _that's_ her name. He never really noticed her, what with only seeing her in service attire and maybe once or twice in slacks during some informal get-togethers. But here… with the skimpy top and the tight jeans and her hair down and the discreet make-up… She's dancing with her friends, now and then skimming on flirting with one of the guys on the dance floor next to her, and suddenly he finds himself wishing he wasn't such an abysmal dancer and had the courage to simply walk up to her and do a little more than only flirting a little.

Alright. Wait. _What_ did he just think? He's a mature man of 35, not some 16-year-old with raging hormones. Forcing himself to turn away from the enticing sight of Laura Cadman dancing he walks over to the bar. He _really_ needs something to drink now, and not only because his mouth had gone all dry during those last few minutes of openly staring at a woman that used to be his subordinate.

But sitting there and waiting for his drink and _not_ turning around again and searching the crowd for her takes much more effort than he anticipated. So much, in fact, that he doesn't register a familiar figure appearing beside him at first, what with all his concentration on looking anywhere but the dance floor. Then his gaze strays a little to his left and… it nearly knocks him off his chair. There, just a few inches away from him the object of his desire is leaning against the bar, trying to get the bartender's attention.

_Do_ something, he thinks. Be cool, be suave, be a gentleman… but all he does is stare at her and drink in the slightly unnerved tapping of her fingers on the counter, the little wet wisps of her hair clinging to her neck, her tongue darting out to lick her lip… "Hey, is that guy deaf or somethi… Major Lorne? What the hell are _you_ doing _here_?" Oh God. She didn't just speak to _him_, right? No. Yes. No. _Say_ something, you idiot.

Staring at you and feeling a little like a sick old man, would be a good answer. On second thought… maybe _not_. "Actually… I'm not quite sure about that myself."

Something must have been funny because her mouth curls up in a smile. "What, you just got beamed here?" Puddle of goo. That's what his brain must have turned into. Just at the sight of Laura Cadman smiling at him with cheeks still a little flushed from dancing. Just like that.

"More like got shanghaied here." That turns the smile into a full-out grin.

"Major Hennings?" Whoa, good thing he's already sitting because if he wasn't… his knees would have simply folded beneath him.

"Colonel Mitchell. Simply can't say no to a guy two ranks your senior." It's amazing. That he isn't already reduced to a stammering idiot, that is. By now, she sat down beside him, with her knee touching his now and then, and he could _swear_ she's doing it intentionally.

"So… enjoy it here, Major?" He wants to quip something witty back, but… then his gaze falls on her cleavage, if only for a second, but that's already enough.

"Yes." That earns him a light slap on the arm.

"Hey, my eyes are _up here_!" God, he's making such a fool of himself. That's the first time a woman _ever_ said that to him, and he feels himself going beet-red in the face… and even redder when she's suddenly laughing. "I was _joking_. I'm surrounded by flyboys who think they are God's gift to women all the time… Really, I can take a little accidental staring." Yeah, well… would have been okay, if that actually _was_ accidentally.

"I wasn't…" But she doesn't let him finish his sentence, only gives him a look saying 'Yeah, sure, and I'm the Commander-in-Chief.'

"Course not. Oh, hey, care for a little dancing? I hear you flyboys are a breeze as dancers." Other flyboys maybe, but surely not him. At least not _this_ kind of dancing.

"Actually, I'm not…" Right in that moment, a new tune starts and she grabs his hand. So totally caught off-guard by this, he lets himself be dragged up by her.

"Ladies' choice, sir. Tonight _I_'ll call the shots." Well… considering it means that _he_ is the one she chose – instead of all the daring young heroes here she could have chosen – it's not that bad not to be the one in the lead, just for once.

"Alright… lead the way, Lieutenant." She grins again, and the grip of her hand around his tightens just a little more.

"With pleasure, Major." Mh. Maybe coming here hadn't been _such_ a bad idea after all.


	31. 027 Parents

**A/N: **And we're at number four. Does anyone remember the story I wrote for "Family"? Well, here's a new one from that universe, only years later. BTW, "Youth Of Today" was one of the tougher cookies to write and it took me really long to come up with something fitting. I hope you're all okay with what I did with it :) And thanks to **mac** for the betaing even though she always has a lot of stuff on her plate. You rock!  


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Prompt: 027 Parents

**You don't know a single thing**

"_And maybe if you had a true point of view  
I would listen to you  
But it's just your one sided feelings  
They keep getting in my way  
And you don't know a single thing about the youth of today  
Stating your opinion making it ring in my head all day."_

_Amy MacDonald, "Youth of Today"_

What the hell is keeping his father? They were supposed to have met already ten minutes ago and it's not General Evan Lorne's way to let anyone – let alone his own son – wait, most of all not when it's about something like an offer to join the SGC only a year after his graduation from the Academy. Oh well, his father is an important man and maybe some minor crisis or other simply delayed his departure. So… it's another coffee and maybe checking some e-mails… "Marcus?"

Immediately, a chill is running down his spine and his gut tell him to ignore that voice. His gut helped him through four years at the Academy, so he should damn well listen to it. However… "Young man, I'm talking to you." He can hear that the man who won't stop pestering him just sat down in the chair opposite to him, but he doesn't look up. "Marcus Gleeson!"

Okay, that's enough. He puts down his Palm and looks at the man opposite him. Even after 20 years he knows exactly who's sitting opposite him: Someone he never wanted to see again. "The name is Lieutenant Marcus Lorne. And I would strongly advise you to get another table… sir." He would have loved to leave at least the "sir" out, but that's not what his parents and his instructors have taught him.

"I don't see any reason why. After all… I'm your father." At that last word, he feels something inside of him almost snap. 20 years go, the man across from him ceased to be his father. Even though his mother took great care that he and Andrew wouldn't forget that for the first years of their lives someone else had fulfilled the role Evan Lorne had taken over, both he and his brother had never _wanted_ to remember this man, as young as they had been then.

Reining in his troublesome temper, he says almost grinding it out, "My _father_ is a General in the United States Air Force. _You_ certainly don't look like one. I ask you again to leave this table." Actually… he would love to tell this man to get lost, preferably forever. He never told his mother how much he saw of the way the man that used to be his father treated her before she took Andrew and him and got the hell out of the house, no matter how much she tried to keep that guy away from them. Having to face him now… it puts a lot of strain on his already impatient personality.

The man opposite him – he refuses to put any other names than "son of a bitch" and "bastard" on him – shakes his head disapprovingly. "Don't be so rude to your old man, Marcus. Didn't your mother teach you how to be a nice boy?"

His "old man" wears uniform and should be here any minute, dammit. He needs to get rid of this particular fragment of his past ASAP. "My _parents_ told me to keep away from the likes of you. Which is exactly what I'll do now." With that he puts down his empty cup of coffee, gathers his stuff and leaves the table without any further words. That man… isn't worth any of them, anyway.

But he isn't even really out of the coffee shop when he hears that _voice_ again. "Don't you even want to know how I found you?" Wait… did that mean the bastard was _looking_ for him… _them_? He feels the chills creeping up his spine. He and his brother… they are probably safe from anything really dangerous, but his parents… and maybe Katie as well… Ever since starting to harass him here, this man has given him the creeps. Like underneath the cordial behavior, there is something sinister lurking… like the bastard has an agenda bigger than just ruffling his feathers a bit.

He turns around again. "Alright. Fine. How did you find me?"

There it is again, the grin that already made him shiver 20 years ago. Because every time he saw it, it meant that someone was going to get hurt, and nearly always that had been his mother. He still wishes his childhood memories were as fuzzy as those of his friends and siblings, but at least a few of them are forever carved into his mind, and this grin is one of the most horrible ones.

"Your mother isn't the only one with friends in the Armed Forces. Took me a while, but imagine my surprise when I found out that she's wearing the name of a guy she claimed died ages ago." Okay… they have a situation here. Now he _has_ to tell his parents and he already hates that. Laura and Evan Lorne have never told their children in words but all of them somehow knew that there was one thing both of their parents – although being seasoned soldiers and highly capable officers – were afraid of: This man returning into their lives.

"She had every reason to. Now that we have cleared this up…" Dammit, where the _hell_ is his father?

"And imagine my surprise when I found out that _my boys_ are wearing that name as well. I was _disappointed_ beyond belief, and I'm just here to remind you that blood is thicker than water." He doesn't believe that for one second. There's got to be more to this encounter. And if there's one thing he has learned in the years since their mother bundled them up in the car, drove hundreds of miles just to get away from the man opposite him and brought Evan Lorne into their lives, it's that blood doesn't matter.

His patience is starting to wear thin and silently he thanks his father for teaching him how to hang on to every bit of control he has. Still… he unconsciously clenches his fists as he answers, "I hope to God that this will never be the case here." The bastard wants to say something, but he isn't done yet. "And I swear to God, should _anything_ happen to my family, I _will_ make sure you will never see the world without vertical bars again. Get. The. Hell. Lost." Okay… that wasn't exactly what his parents taught him but he just couldn't help it… he can keep his cool pretty easily now but never when people he loves are involved.

As if all of that weren't enough the bastard now even leans towards him a little. It's really testing out the limits of his patience. The man murmurs, "You can try to pretend to yourself you've got your mother's temper all you want, but you are _my_ boy as well." God, how he wants to punch that guy's lights out… but right in that moment he finally sees his father step out of the building across the street and that does wonders to cool him down. It must have shown in his face since the man that used to be his father steps away from him and simply adds, "Tell your mother I said hi." and turns to walk down the street seemingly unfazed. It leaves him reeling and he needs all his strength to pull himself together when his father reaches him.

On his father's face there's something like mild worry as he asks, "Is everything okay? What did that guy want from you?"

He knows he should tell the truth now but… it looks like his father just had a _very_ long day at the office and he's sure that his mother had an equally exhausting day and… he can still tell them in a quiet moment when the much more pressing matter of deciding to take up the offer from the SGC or not has been cleared up. "Just asked for directions. Now… can we go? I'm _starving_."

His father chuckles and turns to walk over to the parking garages. "Ah, the voracious hunger of the young… you don't mind I asked the Sheppards to come over tonight, right?" Well… at least it can't be bad to have two other Stargate program veterans at the table. He shrugs.

"Nah. As long as I don't have to listen to stories about Torren the Great all the time, that is." Now his father gives him a grin.

"Can't guarantee that. He just got promoted a few weeks ago. Anyway… you heard about your sister, right?" It makes him roll his eyes.

"Yeah. Only two weeks at Annapolis and she's already in trouble. Mom told me… something like "Why couldn't she choose a normal civilian college like your brother?" I think." As his father laughs again, he throws a look over his shoulder, relieved to see that the disturbing shadow from his past has vanished into the streets of Washington, D.C. He finally manages to loosen up again and gradually, his levity is growing real again, even though a slight feeling of dread keeps lingering. But he won't let that man ruin _anything_ in his life again, and most of all not an evening with his parents whom he owes everything he is today.


	32. 008 Weeks

**A/N: **Number five, and currently my favorite song from the "This Is The Life" album. Also used as a text layer for my very first own wallpaper (if anyone is interested, just ask :)) so yes, I really like that one :) And of course thanks to **mac **for the betaing (no, I will _not_ stop that ;))!

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Prompt: 008 Weeks

**Run no more**

"_But I will run until my feet no longer run no more  
And I will kiss until my lips no longer feel no more  
And I will laugh until my heart it aches  
And I will love until my heart it breaks  
And I will love until there's nothing more to live for."_

_Amy MacDonald, "Run"_

God, she's such an idiot. Why didn't she see that earlier? Three weeks ago, she had had her chance… and then he'd been gone, away on some secret mission with the _Icarus_ only Sheppard and Woolsey knew more about and she never heard from him again. Why did she listen to him when he told her that they couldn't, that they shouldn't, that it wasn't about not having feelings, but about simply not being allowed to have them?

Why the _hell_ had she nodded and acted all sensible and agreed with him that ending it before it could really begin was a very good idea? Shouldn't have the whole thing with Carson taught her something about this galaxy and how easy it is to lose someone you thought would always be there? But _no_, for once she had let her head do the thinking, and that had been a _fucking bad idea_.

Because now she keeps seeing him in every damn nook and cranny of this whole goddamn city and she keeps waiting for a sign from him… just _any_ sign. But there's just… nothing. Three weeks, and they haven't heard anything from him or the rest of the _Icarus_ crew. She tried to distract herself with all kinds of stuff… research, poker, sparring, climbing… but so far the only thing that helped to get out all the pent-up energy inside of her is running her legs off

Atlantis proved too small for the enormous distances she seems to need to empty her mind of everything concerning her heart and Major Lorne and fucking not getting him out of her head, and running around here reminds her too much of him, so she has taken to occupy the treadmill. But not even _that_ seems to help anymore. With every day that passes without a word from the _Icarus_, his absence and her own idiocy become harder to bear.

They hadn't even kissed, only found themselves on the verge of it after fooling around on one of the couches in a deserted common room. She still doesn't really know how they came about that in the first place, only that suddenly it hadn't been innocent anymore… something had changed and the atmosphere had been charged up and they had realized that they had reached some kind of point of no return. Either they would kiss… or nothing would happen at all.

And instead of simply leaving it at that, he had gone and told her that yes, he _wanted_ to do it… but simply couldn't. Why the hell she didn't just kiss him then is still a mystery to her. Or maybe… maybe not. Subconsciously, she slows down her furious pace a little. Maybe… it had scared her that suddenly her little crush wasn't something secret and one-sided anymore, but something where feelings from the other side were involved, too.

Maybe her mother had been right with always telling her to be careful what she's wishing for, because it might come true. Adoring Major Evan Lorne from afar and trying to catch a glimpse of him now and then had been okay, had been easy… knowing he was feeling something similar for her and all that came with it – regulations to be considered, futures to be possible, heartache just waiting for them in case something happened to either of them – was something quite different. Something that scared her to death, because she still remembers all too well the terrible feelings after what happened to Carson.

And now that she realized that she mainly simply agreed with him because they were both just using the regs to protect themselves from what could develop between the two of them if they just ignored them, he's _fucking gone_.

Her pace quickens again, like she wants to run away from all of that, but she simply can't. Again and again she curses her heart in head. Why does she have to fall in love with guys whose jobs are anything but ordinary and incorporate the word "dangerous" in the job description? Why couldn't it have been a 'Gate technician or one of the scientists not cleared for off-world travel, if it _had_ to be an Atlantis guy?

No, first it had to be the dedicated CMO who would always place himself before his infirmary crew and do all the dangerous stuff himself and then it had to be the military 2IC who got sent on a top-secret mission with their shiny new scout ship, only to disappear from their radar completely. The CMO is back… but now all she wants is the 2IC, and there's a good chance she won't ever see him again.

Tears start to mingle with the sweat on her face, and furiously she wipes them away. She's Lieutenant Laura Cadman, USMC, and she will _not_ cry over a guy. She will _not_ cry _at all_. She will just keep on running until she can't put one foot in front of the other anymore. Running away from the burning wish to see him again and the fear she might never get a chance to do so and all the other…

Suddenly, heavy boots can be heard from outside, like someone is coming towards the work-out room at a very fast pace. And heavy boots usually mean soldiers in full gear. And soldiers in full gear… Her training takes over and she gets off the treadmill and runs outside.

But in the moment she enters the corridor, something – some_one_ – heavy slams into her. She wants to give that guy an earful, bust his ass… but doesn't get to do it, because suddenly she's pressed against the outside wall of the work-out room and lips are kissing hers, desperately, hungrily, like having had to wait far too long for doing this.

It takes him an eternity to break the kiss, and she savors every little second of it. When she finally lets him break it, he doesn't say anything, just leans his forehead against hers, breathing heavily. One hand is put against the wall behind her to steady himself, the other one is threaded into her sweaty hair and cupping the back of her head.

She knows that this is the moment she should slap him – first of all for doing something forbidden, then for descending on her like that and _then_ for _taking so fucking long to come back home_. But all she does is pulling him closer to her and show him that not only zoomies can kiss like there is no tomorrow. As he responds eagerly, there's only one thought on her mind: Screw the regs, screw her anxiety, screw everything. She won't run away, not anymore.


	33. 046 Star

**A/N: **Here we go with just _another_ one (because I felt like it) ;) And yes, I _know_ I used another cliché but "Let's start a Band" was just _screaming_ to be used for a story like this... betaed, of course, by **mac** (I will never tire of at least mentioning it... credit where credit is due).  


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Prompt: 046 Star

**Rolling Stone, here I come**

"_Give me a stage and I'll be a rock and roll queen__  
Your 20th century cover of a magazine  
__Rolling Stone here I come  
Watch out everyone  
I'm singing, I'm singing my song."_

_Amy MacDonald, "Let's start a Band"_

It's Karaoke Night, and the world… Atlantis is watching. Well, those stupid enough to wander into the common room on the sixth level, anyway. Obviously some of the technician geeks managed to set up a trap by promising either heaps of chocolate or a secret alcohol stash, but what they really wanted was to lure people into their hell of totally scrambled lyrics and tortured melodies. And the worst is: She simply can't turn away.

Seeing – and hearing – one of the Chinese biologists practically slaughtering The Beatles' "A Hard Day's Night" equals a _very_ bad case of train wreck syndrome. It's really horrible, but you have to stare at it nonetheless. She's so busy with her fascination of the terrible that she needs a little time to register who's going to be the next victim. Herself.

When the Chinese girl is done and the applause has ceased, she notices everyone staring at her and suddenly the mike is thrust in her hands. What the…? Oh no. "Hey, uh, guys, that's really not such a good idea." She feels herself blushing. And anyway, how did _she_ get chosen, standing in the back, near the entrance, ready to bolt any moment?

"Aw, Cadman, don't tell us _you_ get stage fright!" it comes from the depth of the half dark room, and she recognizes the voice of Lieutenant Larry Hannigan. Yeah, of course that guy would guffaw something like that at her, having been at the receiving end of her sharp tongue often enough because of his tendency to get sloppy with highly explosive equipment.

"We'll see how eager _you_ are when it's your turn." Ha! He just got himself a ticket to embarrass himself this evening. No way he's going to get out of this. But she still has to solve the issue with her not getting out of this. "And honestly, people… anyone of you seen Cameron Diaz in "My Best Friend's Wedding"?" She throws a look in the room, and yep, people are nodding. "I'm worse. _Much_ worse." Unfortunately… that doesn't have the desired effect. In fact… it ends up with the people practically _dragging_ her to the makeshift stage. Ah hell.

Trying to make the best of it, she adapts a stance that's just a tad diva and nods graciously in the direction of the techie in charge of choosing the songs. But as the first beats sound through the room, she's nearly ready to flee again. "Holding out for a Hero"? Holy… someone has a sick sense of humor here.

Anyway… she's a Marine, and she has to show these zoomies here – _especially_ Lieutenant Hannigan – that Marines don't back down from _any_ challenge. And so she starts singing as loud as she can. At least she knows the lyrics to that, and it surprises her a little that she doesn't even really have to follow the prompter. And that she's actually starting to… _enjoy_ the whole thing. The singing – as off-key as it might be – the fellow expedition members cheering her on… it's giving her some drive and she really starts getting into the song.

But just as she's singing, "It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet." a familiar figure appears in the doorway. Major Evan Lorne. With a minor WTF-expression on his face. Oh crap. She really doesn't mind her fellow Lieutenants watching her making a fool of herself, but her _CO_, who never makes a wrong step and always retains his composure, in any given situation? She's feeling like a deer in headlights for a moment and even skips a bit of the lyrics.

But then her ambition to show those guys down there that she is good enough that she can even get _this_ one off without a hitch and she isn't afraid of her CO wins and she continues singing, maybe even with a little more vigor than before. And when she reaches the last repetition of "I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light." she even dares looking straight at Major Lorne. With an enormous satisfaction, she registers him breaking eye-contact first and looking a lot more uncomfortable now. Yep, she just managed to turn the tables on him. If he ever should go and dare to make some stupid joke about her and singing…

And then the song is done, and everyone is applauding again – probably because it's finally _over_ – and she leaves the stage with her head high. She even has the guts to toss Hannigan the mike and shout, "Your turn, Hanny. Show us the _good_ stuff."

Hannigan catches it and tries to talk himself out of it much fiercer than she tried. Yeah, she thinks, that's flyboys for you. All talk and no action. Satisfied that she got through this with at least a minimum of dignity, she wants to find a corner in the back of the room, preferably not too close to the entrance, since Major Lorne is _still_ standing there, now looking as inscrutable as always. But Fate seems to have other plans, because it makes him leave the doorway… and leads him straight to where she was headed. And he has already seen her, so it's a matter of pride she doesn't turn tail now.

Determined not to let herself be intimidated, she walks up to him and comes to stand beside him to watch how Hannigan _really_ makes a fool of himself trying to sing a French chanson no one knows that the sadistic techie at the laptop chose. For a few moments, neither of them says anything, but then he startles her a little with dryly stating, "And here I thought there were enough heroes in Atlantis to keep you satisfied, Lieutenant."

What the…? "Not the kind of heroes I dig, sir." Oops. Should have kept her trap shut. At least that's what the Major's slightly incredulous face suggests.

"And what kind of heroes _do_ you dig, Lieutenant?" Holy crap. Where's this suddenly going? And how the hell does she get out of this?

"Surely not the ones that need to tell you how big a hero they are at every given moment." Like Hanny for example… who doesn't really look like a hero right now, but his ego is big and flexible enough to bear some dents.

"Then maybe there really aren't enough heroes for you here." Ah… case closed now, right? "However… seeing as you're practically a celebrity here now…" Okay, that's it. _No_ jokes about her singing from the guy who didn't have the guts to endure the little staring match from a few minutes ago.

"You can be my manager any time, sir." Seeing as you've obviously discovered my potential and everything, she thinks a little sourly.

But the answer that comes… isn't quite the one she expected. "I'd rather be your hero." Now _her_ face has turned into something that can really only be described with _major_ "WTF?" no pun intended. And it takes the Major a moment or two to register what he just replied a little absentmindedly. "And… I… should really be going now. Lots of paperwork to do. Uh… yeah." With that, he turns on his heel and nearly flees the common room. She's positively flabbergasted for a moment, but then she feels laughter bubbling up and has to leave the room.

When the initial laughing fit is over and she has calmed down enough, a thought gets stuck in her mind… namely that in all of Atlantis… Major Evan Lorne maybe is the one guy that comes closest to the definition of a hero she just gave him. So… if he still wants to be her hero… there's a good chance he can become just that.


	34. 014 Green

**A/N:** So now that I cleaned up my place and configured my new DSL-router (good bye on/offline WiFi game... hopefully, I mean) AND found my way into Skype land, I can upload a new AMCM piece. Yay! BTW, this is basically a companion piece to "Red" and of course betaed by **mac** (who thinks she has already read too much of my stuff... which could be possible indeed ;)).

* * *

Prompt: 014 Green

**In my way**

"_Oh nothing beats the feeling of the high Barrowland ceiling  
When the band start to play  
Won't you buy me a drink and I'll tell her what I think if she gets in my way."_

_Amy MacDonald, "Barrowland Ballroom"_

Why exactly is she here again, among dignitaries, four star generals and a lot of other people who are all wearing Mess Dress, tuxedos or evening gowns when she hates nothing more than spending her evening with exactly these kind of people?

Oh, right. Because it was an order.

Since Atlantis landed in the Bay and is there to stay until they figure out a way of getting it back to the Pegasus Galaxy – thus effectively trapping its crew here as well – _someone_ up the chain of command had decided to celebrate the joyous occasion of Earth having been saved etc. blahblahblah with a stupid ball. She's not _totally_ averse to this kind of event, but… yeah, prom had been much, much more fun.

At least there it wouldn't have had dire consequences if she had decided she could take all of this only with the appropriate dose of alcohol in her system. Now she would be charged with conduct unbecoming of a United States Marine, even though she isn't even wearing uniform and that's something she's _not_ willing to risk. So she has to put up with all of it – boring and pointless speeches, self-important politicians, Rodney McKay flirting with every blonde not fast enough to get away in time even though he's here with Jennifer… – relatively sober. Oh well… it's obviously a lesson in patience, endurance and docility.

But what's _really_ starting to tick her off is her inability to tear her gaze off one of her COs and the woman that's obviously his date. It's so stupid that she can't stop staring at Major Lorne and whoever it is he brought to the ball, because of… a million reasons. First of all… she has _no_ right to be jealous. If she _was_ jealous, that is. But she's not. Why should she be? There was nothing – except a few meaningful looks and smiles, that is, but she could have misinterpreted that – and there never will be anything. Very easy.

So _why_ the hell does she feel her gaze glued to the couple and just can't shake off the grumpiness? Dammit, she should be having fun here, most of all if she's _forced_ to be here. She's pretty sure that she just saw some of the younger chemists pour _something_ in the punch – how old are these guys? _Twelve_? – and Chuck is obviously giving a couple of young female SGC soldiers a performance of how he heroically saved two galaxies all on his own. So… plenty of opportunities to fool around, without being actually involved in anything embarrassing or incriminating.

It's just that… she can't stop watching the Major and his date. The woman must be in her thirties, elegant but not over dressed, long dark hair… God, why is she so interested in that? There are plenty of other good-looking guys here, and she's caught a few of them watching her like she's watching the Major right now. She feels like a goddamn teenager again, mooning for the object of her affections from afar every time she crosses his path in the high school hallway… yeah, well and also like a freaky stalker.

He's dancing with the woman now, laughing and teasing her. It's apparent that they know each other really well, because they dance effortlessly, like they don't have to think about their steps… nearly perfectly in synch. Oh crap, she thinks. He's _married_. Funny he never seemed to have told anyone, never wore a ring, not even off-duty. And dammit, that does _not_ warrant an "Oh crap." because there's nothing wrong with Major Lorne being married.

This is really it, she decides. She's going to have fun tonight and she will _not_ waste another glance on Major Lorne. Except… except that he stopped dancing and has spotted her, looking at her just a tad too long. She pretends not to watch them, but from the corner of her eye she can see that the woman by his side seems to have noticed this. She says something to him, startling him a bit and… laughing. He rubs his neck and… comes her way. Oh crap. She _so_ doesn't want to talk to that couple right now, but there's _no_ way she could escape now without causing major awkwardness for all of them.

So she steels herself like she usually steels herself for a difficult mission and turns back to them. They have reached her now and subconsciously, she squares her shoulders. She tries a non-committal smile, but she's afraid that she only managed something looking mighty stupid. "Evening, Captain Cadman."

She really hopes that it's just the temperature in this room that makes her skin suddenly feel so warm. "Evening, sir." Uncomfortable silence. Oh great.

That is, until the Major's date gives him a not so gentle bump with her shoulder. "Oh, right. Sorry." Aw, isn't that _cute_? No… no, it's _weird_ how easy it is for her to imagine a very slight blush on Major Lorne's cheek. "Judy, this is Captain Laura Cadman, one of our Marines. She specializes in explosives. Captain Cadman, this is Judith Abrams, my sister." Ah, his sister. His _sister_? Oh God, she so wants the Earth to swallow her right now. His goddamn _sister_.

"I specialize in reminding my brother of his manners." A pointed look towards the Major and then a smile and a hand outstretched towards her. "Nice to meet you, Captain. I've heard quite a bit about you already." What the…? A little confused, she sneaks Major Lorne a look and he shakes his head, almost desperately.

"Nice to meet you, too, Mrs. Abrams. I'm afraid I can't say the same about you, though." The Major earns an indignant look from his sister and she feels compelled to clarify her statement a little. "Major Lorne keeps most of his private life to himself, which we all respect." While it's true that she never asked him any questions about his family, it would be a lie to say that she wasn't _interested_ in it. Like it would be a lie if she said that she isn't interested in _Major Lorne_, but she should _really_ keep _that_ to herself.

"Please, it's Judy. So… have you danced yet?" No, I was busy with being jealous of you, for which I feel like an idiot now. Mh. Probably not the best answer she can offer. Better try again.

"Actually, no. I'm kind of… lacking a partner." Something in that answer raises Major Lorne's interest.

"Oh, but I thought Carson…"

"Is here with Dr. Porter, I believe." Dammit. Interrupting your CO is _never_ a good idea, not even when you're both off-duty and he's wearing Mess Dress and you're wearing an evening gown. "Oh, sorry for interrupting you, sir, I just…"

Judy can barely hide a smile, while the Major doesn't look as peeved as she thought he would look. In fact, he looks a little… relieved. Huh. "It's okay, Captain. I… uh… shouldn't have inquired that anyway and…" He clears his throat, looking a bit uncomfortable now. His sister just rolls her eyes.

"It's a shame none of these striking young officers here had the guts to ask you to the dance floor yet. If you want to, I can lend my date to you." Both of them stare at her a little bewildered. She even seems to enjoy it. "It was a bit like dancing with my brother, anyway." Major Lorne has something that could be described as "very close to a coughing fit". Yeah, thank you, she thinks. Why don't you just say you aren't interested in any dancing with me?

"That's… nice of you, but I'm not that much of a dancer, anyway." Liar, she thinks. She _loves_ dancing. Granted, not necessarily standard dances – she still remembers the pained face of her partner for the dancing class her brother forced to take her for his wedding – but otherwise there's really nothing wrong with dancing.

The Major wants to say something, but for some reason, Judy scowls at him. What's going on here? Anyway, the Major clears his throat again and then surprises her with, "If I didn't know better, Captain… I'd say you're trying to chicken out." Judy rolls her eyes. Well, if one of _her_ brothers would have said that… she'd have thought something along the lines of "Way to ask a girl for a dance, idiot." and whacked the brother in question over his head.

But… that's Major Lorne. He _wasn't_ trying to ask her for a dance, right? And anyway, that's just not fair. "Never, sir. Just want to spare your toes an inhuman amount of pain."

"You'll be amazed at some of things they teach them at the Academy, Captain. If there ever was an officer better able to keep his toes out of trouble, it's Evan." Dammit, why is Judy so intent on getting her to dance with Major Lorne? There are no real excuses left now, and it would be rude if she kept refusing.

It doesn't mean, though, that she can't play hard to get a little longer. She's… beginning to enjoy this little game. "Oh well… I'm afraid to say that I'm a real challenge."

The Major seems to have seen that she's not really putting up any more resistance and gives her a little winning grin. "I was never afraid of challenges." With that, he offers her his hand and after one last bit of hesitation she takes it. "I hope you don't mind if I take Captain Cadman for a dance, Judy?"

Judy chuckles. "Of course I don't. Without me, you wouldn't even have had the guts to ask her." What… is that supposed to mean? But Major Lorne doesn't give her the opportunity to ponder this strange remark any further, because even with the first steps he does prove to be very good at evading her occasionally misplaced feet. Mh, she thinks, maybe this whole Welcome-Back-ball hasn't been _such_ a bad idea after all.


	35. 059 Food

**A/N:** Believe it or not, "L.A." was the toughest cookie to write a story for from the whole album. So that's what I did with it... and since it's almost lunch time here (the co-workers already ordered Chinese), I thought I might as well post a story about eating... well, in the broadest sense ;) Betaed by **mac**, of course. And this time I could even surprise her... sort of.

* * *

Prompt: 059 Food

**By myself**

"_I always thought that I would follow you  
Every place and everything you do  
But I'm happy to be by myself  
I don't need no-one else."_

_Amy MacDonald, "L.A."_

She's doing it again. He's not imagining it anymore, of that he's sure now. Three times in a row he has seen Lieutenant Cadman sitting all by herself in the mess hall and staring at her food before simply taking the tray with a kind of annoyed look on her face and dumping all of it into the trash can and he's _positive_ that this is going to be the fourth time.

He does dread it a little but he knows he has to do something against this. A few days ago he already hinted a little about this at Sheppard and the Colonel had agreed that _if_ she really wasn't eating it was their duty to change it. He looks at her again, silently making a bargain with himself that if she would start eating in the next few seconds, he would leave her alone and not go and pester her.

Unfortunately… she doesn't do him the favor and stands up… to do the exact same thing she did the last three times he saw her in the mess hall. Dammit, he needs to do something about it but he has this feeling that she would give him a standard answer if he'd follow her now and try to pry it from her why she isn't eating. So… he continues eating his lunch, staring at the sea a little absentmindedly, trying to come up with a way of a) finding out what made Cadman stop eating and b) how to stop her doing that to herself.

He knows he _could_ just ask Carson Beckett about it – seeing as he's her boyfriend – but he just has this feeling that Cadman wouldn't be too overjoyed if she caught him snooping around behind her back. So… the forward approach it has to be. Only… _how_?

He looks at his own food again… to hear Rodney McKay's voice behind him, saying, "No, I'm _not_ taking this food with me in my lab, John. I'm taking it to _Katie's_ lab." Sheppard laughs and replies something he doesn't hear and Rodney grumbles something about "the food having to come to the botanist if the botanist can't come to the food"… _That's it_. Only… he shouldn't go and visit Cadman in her lab. That could raise some strange… suspicions.

But then again… he _is_ her CO. Grinning, he gets up, grabs a sandwich, some fruit and a bottle of water. Heading out of the mess hall and towards one of the open air platforms, he taps his headset and calls her to order her to the platform. As she answers, she does sound a little flustered… and a little beside herself.

After a few minutes, she arrives at the platform… and the moment she sees him sitting on the bench with the food beside him, she turns around without another word to flee the scene. But he certainly won't have _that_. "Sit down, Lieutenant." It stops her dead in her tracks because he used this commanding voice he usually only uses on really difficult cases. Slowly, she turns around and walks up to him.

She clears her throat and gives him a little wary look. "Sir?"

Okay… that wasn't how it was supposed to go. For a second or two he's about to lose his determination at her half-inquisitive, half-disbelieving look. "Like I said. Sit down. And eat."

She does a double-take. "What? No!" Well, he hasn't anticipated this. But he isn't Sheppard's 2IC for nothing.

"It's an order, Lieutenant." However, Cadman doesn't seem much impressed by it.

"With all due respect, sir, I don't think…" Before she can go on talking, he has shaken his head because he has realized he should stop the bullying approach and resort to reasonable.

"Look… you're not eating." She crosses her arms, as if to say, "Yeah, so?" and he has a hard time not to fall into a defensive tone. "And officers who aren't eating… are not taking care of themselves. And officers who aren't taking care of themselves…" He doesn't finish the sentence because he's sure that she knows what he wants to say. Instead, he simply says, "I'm just doing what's necessary for the Expedition."

Still not quite trusting him, she eyes the food between him and the empty spot on the bench. Then, slowly and still a little wary, she sits down, saying, "Uh-huh. Of course you would do this for every other officer, huh?"

Dammit. She wasn't supposed to ask that. "Uh…"

"Okay… you know what? I eat and you don't answer." Well… that was easy. Wasn't it? Almost _too_ easy, and so he half expects her to turn tail at any minute. But she _is_ a good little Marine and starts nibbling at the sandwich he brought. Well, it's a start. And maybe… if he can distract her a little from eating… she'll just do it and not eye the food like it's her enemy.

He clears his throat. "So… what happened?"

At first he thinks she's going to pretend she doesn't know what he's talking about, but obviously she has given up on trying to evade him. "Hey, you never said that interrogating me was part of the deal as well, sir." Or maybe… _not_.

It doesn't change the fact, though; that he _really_ wants to know what has someone like her – easygoing, enjoying life, unfeasible – so tied in knots that she finds eating impossible. He takes a deep breath. "I… wasn't trying to interrogate you, Lieutenant. Honestly. I'm just trying to understand what makes you of all people… you know…"

Taking a slightly larger bite of the sandwich she looks at him with her eyebrow raised. "Me of all people?" But before he can say something, she has already held her hand up. "Wait, don't… answer that either, sir."

Mh, she doesn't really seem to be in a chatty mood today. But maybe this is his only chance of finding out what's on her mind… and maybe he should better shut up that little voice inside of him nagging him with the question why the hell he's so interested in it. "Come on. I won't tell anyone. Humor me?"

She rolls her eyes. "I _am_ already humoring you, sir." Okay, maybe he really should stop… "Oh well… no telling, right?" Oh. He sighs and nods. A promise is a promise. "Okay… uh… I… broke up with Carson. Or rather… we broke up with each other. A few days ago."

That… is something surprising. He can't remember having noticed any tensions between the two of them… but then again, he hasn't seen them much together in public at all. He takes a short look at her and she has stopped eating again, the remaining half of the sandwich in her hand and looking out at the sea. "I'm… sorry to hear that."

For a moment, she doesn't react, but then she seems to remember who is sitting beside her and shakes her head, as if to shrug it all off. "It just didn't work." But she doesn't continue to eat… almost looks like she has forgotten the sandwich. It's pretty evident that even if she tries to pretend there's nothing wrong with her, the whole thing doesn't leave her unaffected.

Even though he knows he better shouldn't offer it, he says, "Cadman, if you want to talk…"

"And my application for a PhD scholarship at the MIT was rejected." Alright… that obviously means she does _not_ want to talk about Carson. And anyway… what she just said sounds almost as bad as breaking up.

"What? Why?" Honestly, he can't believe it. He _knows_ she's top in her field. Even Rodney once admitted she is.

She shrugs again, a little regretful smile on her face. "Well… they said I haven't published enough papers. Turns out… I have, but unfortunately none of the reviewers have a security clearance high enough to read them." That… must _suck_. And he can see that again it gets more to her than she likes to admit. Something inside of him… wants her to eat again and laugh again, and not just because Marines are supposed to keep their strength up.

"You know… if you want me to… we could go and talk to Dr. Weir…"

She holds up her hand again, determinedly shaking her head. "No, no, it's okay, sir. Because, you know… taking up that scholarship would have meant leaving Atlantis in two months. And… I guess I'm not quite ready to do that yet." She doesn't look at him when she says that, and that answer does surprise him. Choosing Atlantis even when she just has broken up with Carson and deciding against a promising scientific career… whatever it is, _something_ in Atlantis must be strong enough to keep her here.

But then again… he also could have left a few times already, getting out of the shadow of his CO and taking up a command all of his own. And he never did. Suddenly… he realizes that as different as that Lieutenant beside him might be from him, they still share something very important. He smiles, deciding to give the difficult topics a rest and give them both a chance to enjoy the remainder of this little encounter, "You still want to eat that apple?"

She snatches the apple away from him and replies while munching on her sandwich again, "Since when did you turn into Rodney McKay? Of course I do." Well… finally the old Cadman is back, giving him the satisfaction that another plan of his worked. Maybe… he should even thank Rodney for giving him the right idea.


	36. 025 Strangers

**A/N:** Oh well... due to a very busy weekend (and they called it a political convention...) without power sockets and a working internet connection I'm sorry to say that I have to drag out AMCM a little longer (after this one, there will be two more stories). Hope it doesn't bother you. Anyway, this one was of course betaed by **mac** who insists I'm trying to kill her... but it's just my bunnies who do!

Meh, I just realized that I mixed up song order. Does anyone mind if I keep it like it is now, even though "A Wish For Something More" was supposed to come first? Sure hope not...

* * *

Prompt: 025 Strangers

**Something unappealing**

"_Oh I don't believe in the telling of your stories  
Throughout your life, there's just something unappealing  
It don't catch my eye."_

_Amy MacDonald, "Footballer's Wife"_

It's all around her. Whispering and barely veiled giggling, curious looks, rolled eyes… behind every corner, in the labs, in the locker rooms… or at least that's how it feels to her. It's been almost three weeks on the _Daedalus_ and she's really starting to wish they would finally reach Atlantis. Of course that's a rather limited space as well, but at least it's _bigger_ than this ship. Really, whoever had the idea of confining zoomies, jarheads, science geeks and medical personnel on this ship for more than three days?

She rounds a corner and passes Drs. Al'Marwi and Vansen from engineering… and yep, there it is again. Giggling, chuckling and then, "Hey, did you hear that thing about Ronon Dex and Jennifer Keller? Can't believe she dumped him like that…" Inwardly she rolls her eyes. Don't they have anything else to talk about?

Okay, so yeah, she does like to gossip as well. But even she has her limits and three weeks on the _Daedalus_ is _definitely_ enough. The same stories over and over again, nearly everywhere. Either you totally ostracize yourself and leave your quarters only for the absolutely necessary… or you constantly get to hear about Jennifer Keller and Ronon Dex, Jennifer Keller and Rodney McKay, Colonel Sheppard and Teyla, Carson and Dr. Porter, Dr. Andrews and Captain Michaels, all the strange stuff going on in Life Sciences, the soap opera that is the IT department…

She's just kind of thankful she didn't bump into any conversations about herself. She _knows_ that there just have to be some, because quite a few still remember her and Carson together and surely her Demolitions crew thinks they might have noticed some strange things in the last few weeks. With a sigh she enters the mess hall, just to grab a sandwich – during the last week she has taken to avoiding the mess hall whenever she can for the time being because there it's really worst.

So she hopes that they all won't need too much time for getting their food that she might be spared the gossip… "You know what I've been wondering about?" No, probably not. In front of her, two other female Marine officer of the Atlantis contingent – Captains Hayes and Masterson – are standing and Hayes had this _undertone_ in her voice.

Masterson just raises her eyebrow in an expecting way and replies, "No, but I bet you're gonna tell me. Oh, hi, Laura." She gives Masterson a tight little smile. Usually, she likes both Hayes and Masterson but today she really isn't in a chatty mood, most of all not if it's about yet another gossip story.

Hayes acknowledges her shortly and then turns back towards Masterson, having noticed her rather tightlipped disposition. "Well… haven't you ever wondered where – and with _whom_ – Major Lorne passes his leaves? I mean, guy like him… what do you think? Single?" God, not that again. She really can't count anymore how often she has members of the female part of the Atlantis and the _Daedalus_ crew – yeah, and also some _male_ members – heard trying to determine Major Evan Lorne's relationship status and quite a few times also his sexual orientation. Which, quite honestly, she found most annoying of all. Really… who _cares_?

Masterson bites her lip and tries to look as if she's thinking very hard. Then, "Not sure. There's no ring on his finger, is there?" Hayes shakes her head. Yeah… so, is the only thing she might have contributed if she was in a contributing mood. "But that doesn't mean anything, huh? He couldn't have one or could wear it on his dog tags, so unless one of us stumbles into the guys' locker room we'll never know." Hayes and Masterson share a meaningful glance and then a giggle.

God, she nearly says, how old are the two of you? And you're talking about your goddamn CO. "Gosh, Lou, don't give me any ideas. I might be tempted to try them out." More giggling and some snorting.

"Yeah, but I bet it would be worth it… no matter if he's single or not." Masterson leans in a little towards Hayes and lowers her voice to a conspiratorial tone. "You know… _that_'s a guy I wouldn't kick out of my bed even if he _wasn't_ single." How long does she have to stand here? This conversation is really getting a little out of hand and today she just really isn't in the mood listening to her fellow officers drooling over their CO. And if it wasn't enough that she had to listen to it, Masterson decides to drag her into the conversation as well. "Oh, hey, Laura, you've had to work _closely_ with him some times before we went on leave. You don't happen to know if he's single, do you?"

All of a sudden she really isn't hungry anymore. She clears her throat and tries to be civil. "We didn't talk on any other level than professional." Before either Hayes or Masterson can start to needle her, she adds, "Uh… could you two please excuse me? I… just realized I have some paperwork I need to get done before we reach Atlantis." With that she gives both of them a half-smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes and turns on her heels.

Relieved she could get out of that conversation, she makes straight for the personal quarters section, determined not to let herself get dragged into any other conversation again. Still a little annoyed, she opens her door, walks in… and finds herself in two strong arms, with her back pressed against the closed door. "My, Captain, what a coincidence. I was just about to walk out."

She grins and languorously bends her head as lips start to kiss the crook of her neck. "You better not. It's a jungle out there."

"Really?" His eyes have a certain wicked gleam to them as he shortly looks at her before his lips continue to kiss the skin on her shoulders his hand just exposed.

"Really. I just had yet another two girls trying to grill me if you're single." He has started to relieve her of her uniform shirt and she can't help slipping her hands under his. Mh… yeah, it's true. _That_ body is worth all the trouble you could get into for sneaking into the guys' locker room.

"What did you tell them?" She lets him pull her shirt over her head and wraps her legs around him.

Ooooh… yes. "That I have paperwork on my desk that needs to be done."

He chuckles against her skin which gives her all kinds of funny feelings. "Indeed you have. How the hell did you pass the last three weeks, huh?" She has now managed to get rid of his shirt and takes a moment to admire what's hers.

"_You_ are one to talk, Major. It's all your fault I didn't get anything done." For a moment she thinks he's going to deny it but instead he just carries her over to the narrow bunk and lays her down.

Perched over her, he grins. "True. Simply couldn't help it. Forgive me?" Pffft, stupid question. How couldn't she?

"Just this one time."

He bends down and she feels his lips on her skin again as he replies smiling, "Fair enough." After that, they're finally done with talking, but she still can't hold back a very smug grin. Her last coherent thought before fully concentrating on him is that she doesn't need to care about how many Expedition members and _Daedalus_ crew members take an interest in Major Evan Lorne as long as the only one _he_ takes an interest in is her. True, there's this pesky non-frat regs thing… but they'll get it sorted out eventually. She really has to take care of _other_ matters now.


	37. 044 Circle

**A/N:** So now that I'm nearly done with this day's work, I can indulge myself (and you) a little and post the pre-last AMCM-piece. This is a companion piece/sequel to the posting for "Weeks" ("Run no more"). Hope you like it :) It was of course betaed by the wonderful **mac** who still hasn't despaired at my inability to use intent/intend and content/contend correctly ;)

* * *

Prompt: 044 Circle

**Fairy tale romances**

"_And I, I wish I was the one,  
your one and only sun and you looked at me that way,  
I wish for long lingering glances  
Fairy tale romances every single day."_

_Amy MacDonald, "A Wish for Something More"_

God, he is such an idiot. And he needed three whole goddamn weeks to see that. Makes him an even bigger idiot. But really… for three weeks he had felt restless and nervous and generally on the edge. He'd blamed it on the mission – fast hit-and-run ops against Michael's bases, some scouting deep into Wraith territory, trying to find out more about the Pegasus Asgard… that kind of thing – because it was his first _real_ ship command.

Only after jumping out of hyperspace and parking the _Icarus_ in orbit directly above the city he realized what exactly had been bugging him so much all this time. He'd missed Laura Cadman and regretted telling her no, plain and simple. Somehow he had managed to tell himself to forget about this and concentrate on the mission, but his subconscious had never forgotten it. And the moment it had been finally over… it had all been back, with a vengeance.

And now he's giving Sheppard and Woolsey a detailed report of the mission, but all he wants is to find her and tell her to forget the crap he said about the regs and all that. The wave of relief that had flooded him the moment after they jumped out of hyperspace was mostly because they had come very close to getting blown out of the sky a couple of times. It had made him realize that for some people… risking a court-martial is actually worth it.

Good God, when is this wretched debriefing finally over? He needs to find her, talk to her, see if she still wants him. He's dreading it a little, but he'll never find it out if he doesn't ask. And he's so past watching and waiting, his usual strategy. Three weeks of constant pressure and strain can do that even to someone like him.

But Woolsey keeps asking question after question. It really takes all his strength of will not to show his growing impatience with drumming his fingers on the table or tapping his foot. Then, finally, Woolsey speaks the releasing words and dismisses him. He gets up, forces himself to walk out of Woolsey's office at a measured pace… and the moment he gets out of the door, there's really only one thought on his mind: Laura. Now.

Before he can get to radio her, Sheppard is beside him, gives him a look that has a very scrutinizing touch to it and then simply says, "Try the work-out room. Seems to have become her favorite place." He feigns ignorance and a surprised look. Sheppard rolls his eyes. "Just go. We'll have the reg talk later."

It's all he needs. "Yes, sir." The few feet to the Control Rooms lift are the last ones he can force himself to walk at a normal pace. After that… it's running, all the way to the work-out room, nearly knocking over a couple of nurses and stumbling over cables that definitely haven't been there three weeks ago.

Then he finally sees the work-out room and wants to slow down – wouldn't _that_ be embarrassing if he came storming in, most of all in case she decided she really doesn't go for idiot zoomies – but before he can bring himself to stop he sees _her_ running out of the room. He tries to slow down, but his momentum carries him forward and suddenly she's between him and the wall, and something in him snaps. Without thinking, he bends down and kisses her, full on the mouth.

God, _yes_. That's what he'd been craving those past three weeks. As she starts kissing him back, he's very close to losing control totally. He knows he should break this kiss, step away and never look at her again, but she simply doesn't let him for a few long moments. When she does, he wants to say something, but finds himself lacking air and words. He actually needs to steady himself as the full impact of this is starting to make its way into his brain, but he can't let go of her. The only thing he allows himself is to take away one of his hands and put it to the wall.

For a moment, neither of them says or does anything aside from panting and he starts to become afraid of what will happen when she realizes that this really isn't the right place for this and he's not the right guy for this. He half expects her to slap him… but all she does is draw him even closer and… kiss him.

Whoa. Why didn't he do that already three weeks ago? Would have spared him more than one sleepless night. Or maybe… maybe not. Being kissed like that… usually _brings_ you sleepless nights. But God, if he'd known being kissed by Laura Cadman felt like _this_…

However, before he can deepen the kiss and get even closer to her – he's long past the point of caring who can see them in this hallway – he suddenly does feel the sting of someone just having slapped him soundly in the face. Holy… she must have slapped him so hard that she even left a mark. Puzzled, he looks at her and feels suspiciously like a deer in headlights. She has crossed her arms and is looking at him with a deep, disapproving frown. Huh?

"What the hell was _that_ for?" Honestly, why did she do that? Just when he has finally learned that doing things according to the law isn't always the _right_ thing, she goes and makes him look like a complete idiot? And did she have to slap _that_ hard?

She just holds up three fingers and starts enumerating them as she says, "For telling me we can't break the regs and still doing it. For knocking me off my feet like that. For taking so fucking long to come home." Are there tears in her eyes? Nah, no way. Still… she just told him she actually _waited_ for him and was _worried_, and that makes him feel all kinds of giddy. She stills gives her best to look not amused, but there's no way he could hold back the grin edging its way onto his face.

"Yeah, I'm happy to see to you, too." For a moment it looks like she'll simply turn on her heels and leave him standing here, but then obviously something else wins. A reluctant smile steals itself on her face.

"You'd be an idiot not to." As the meaning of her words makes it through the haze caused by lack of sleep, totally jumbled adrenalin levels and just plain sensory overload, he feels himself grinning.

"Can't argue with that." He'd love to bend down and kiss her again, but he's slowly starting to remember they're standing in an Atlantis hallway, and have made out in public already enough.

And if it wasn't enough that the realization comes to him and makes him color a little, suddenly a voice in his back says, "Told you she'd slap him."

Feeling caught, both of them turn to the source of the voice. Behind them, Ronon and Rodney are standing, with Ronon looking kind of smug. Like he just won a bet. What the…? "Yes, but _first_ she _kissed_ him. That's definitely making _me_ the winner."

Somebody please tell him they didn't stand behind him the whole time. Somebody _please_ tell him they didn't see how he practically devoured Laura. He'll _never_ hear the end of it. And neither will she, probably. Only one way to get out of this now. "Gentleman… there's only _one_ winner here, and that's _me_."

At this, he hears a little chuckle from Laura behind him while Rodney looks at them with his mouth slightly hanging open. Ronon, however, just smirks and it gives him the feeling as if he wants to congratulate him on making his intentions known so forcefully and most of all for receiving such a clear answer from Laura. "And now… please excuse us. We've got to celebrate something."

With that he turns back to Laura who looks positively like she has some interesting ideas for the "celebration". He offers her his hand. "Lieutenant?"

She takes it, totally ignoring Rodney and Ronon still looking at them. "Major." Grinning, he leads her away from the prying eyes of the Atlantis public, already looking forward to the moment the doors close behind them and they have each other just for themselves.


	38. 003 Ends

**A/N:** So here we are, last AMCM piece. Hope **EvaFlack001** doesn't mind that the idea for this story is a wee bit like one of her ideas. I honestly didn't intend that... hope you still like it, Eva :S

Of course betaed by the amazing **mac** even though she thinks she has read far too much of my stuff by now ;)

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Prompt: 003 Ends

**Still remember which way to go**

"_Oh the sound is fading in my ears  
And I can't believe I've lasted all these years  
But I'll still remember which way to go  
I'm on the road, the road to home."_

_Amy MacDonald, "The Road to Home"_

He knows they were right and it's probably a stupid idea… maybe even one of the most stupid ideas of his entire life, but he just _has_ to do this. He has to walk along this road and he has to walk up to that particular house, even though he knows that there's every chance she has remarried, lives another life now. Kids, a house, a dog… everything without him. He also knows that he could have let the SGC do this for him – inform Laura Cadman-Lorne of the fact that the husband she thought dead didn't die at all – but for some reason he felt like the one telling her that should be himself.

Maybe… maybe it was just a feeble attempt at stalling. Delay the moment he sees that life went on without him and her new life comes crashing down on him as long as possible. He even went as far as forbidding everyone in his family to tell Laura about this or to tell _him_ anything about Laura. So far, he has only talked to his parents and his sister on the phone. They all told him they understood that the first person he wants to see is his wife, but there always had been this strange… _undertone_. As if there was something awaiting him which might disturb him.

They also asked him if he was sure he was ready for this, and deep inside he had severe doubts about that. After all he just came back from three years of slave labor on an alien planet and had to learn that here on Earth everyone thought him dead. At least they didn't go as far and show him his own headstone at Arlington to prove it to him. That really would have been a bit too morbid, most of all for someone who'd never been able to give up hope that one day one of his escape attempts would actually work.

They never did, but the SGC managed to stumble over the penal colony and one of the soldiers from the respective team accidentally spotted him and recognized him, even though there wasn't much to recognize back then. They negotiated his release, shipped him back, gave him enough time to shave and have a proper shower for the first time after three long years and then didn't waste any time telling him that life had gone on without him.

All he'd allowed them to tell him about Laura was that she quit the SGC only two weeks after his presumed death and moved to the other side of the country. He guessed – _hoped_ – it was because she couldn't bear being reminded of him and them constantly and needed to make a cut if she ever wanted to get over it all. Laura always was like that… never doing things by half, always going the full distance.

It was one of the few things they had in common, and it's why he's now standing in front of a small house in Norfolk, Virginia, forcing himself not to look at the names on the mail box. It's a beautiful summer's day – almost too beautiful for what could very well be revealed if he ever gets up his courage to set a foot on the small path up to the house's door – with the neighborhood lazily lounging around in the shade, kids playing with the garden hose and barbecue grills being heated up.

To him, who hadn't seen real sunlight for three years and whose daily routine had been _nothing_ like that of the lawyers and doctors and bank clerks living here, it seems almost surreal. He feels a little out of place, still not really having arrived back on Earth. He may look more like himself again, but inside… he hasn't really escaped the prison yet.

Yeah, this _was_ a stupid idea and he is _not_ ready for this, but he didn't come all the way from Colorado to Virginia to chicken out in the last possible moment. Squaring his shoulders, he finally sets out on the path… but doesn't get very far. From behind the house, there can be some squealing heard and then female laughter… _Laura_'s laughter. Oh God, he never forgot about _that_ one. He forgot about a million things, but he could always remember her laugh, as clearly as if she'd been standing beside him.

There it is again, and before he knows it, he has made his way around the house. He expected – _feared_ – a million things… a new husband, a horde of kids… but instead there's just Laura. Laura chasing a little boy directly up to him and both abruptly stopping when they see him. The boy looks up at him with eyes as blue as his own, a mixture of surprise and curiosity in them and Laura… well, Laura looks like she just saw a ghost.

He wants to say _something_, but all the words have left him. So he just stands there, unable to move or speak, just looks at Laura and the boy, not quite ready to understand all of this. The spell is broken, though, when Laura gets over the initial shock and tears fill her eyes and she covers her mouth with her hand, still disbelieving, but at least not fully paralyzed anymore.

It shakes him up enough that he manages to take a step or two in her direction. Slowly, she gets up, the boy on her hip. Still no one has said a word and he isn't quite sure if he will be able to in the next few hours. Suddenly… he's so close to her again and very slowly, he raises his hand, to touch her cheek… see if she's real or if this is one of those dreams where he always woke up to the torturous routine of slave labor just moments before he could finally reach her.

But no, she doesn't vanish, just stands there and leans in to his touch ever so lightly. It occurs to him that he isn't the only one wondering when this will turn out to be yet another fantasy… no, it feels so _real_ and as he finally softly touches her lips with his, he also feels a little hand ruffling his hair. Something strange happens… and only after a few more seconds he realizes he's laughing quietly. He leans in a little more, feeling moistness on his cheeks, not exactly sure if it's his tears or Laura's, but he doesn't care anyway, because… God, he's _home_.


	39. 079 When

**A/N:** Well then... Friday I'll be gone on vacations (to Seattle and Vancouver, visiting my sister... yay! but fligh goes 0655 *shudders) so this will be the last Fanfic100 piece for about two weeks (unless I can bring myself to bring my flash drive with me, that is). Hope you enjoy it. And just a little tidbit: This is the first Fanfic100 piece I ever wrote. Don't ask why it wasn't the first one I published because I have absolutely _no_ idea ;) Of course this one was betaed by **mac** who called dibs on taking care of the Major...

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Prompt: 079 When?

**Reasons to be missed**

"_When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed  
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty, keep me in your memory  
Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest."_

_Linkin Park, "Leave out all the rest"_

This is the end. It can't be anything else. So often he's been close to it, but this _is_ it. There's no way he's going to get himself out of this. So many things are going through his mind right now. So many… and so few. It feels like he's trying to think of a million things and nothing in the same moment. Like…

Oh _God_, it hurts. He can't even pinpoint it… it's just all over his body. He can't even open his eyes to try and find out where he is. All he can do now… is wait until it's over, once and for all. And while he's doing that… stuff keeps coming back to him… stuff he thought he'd almost forgotten. Like back in 6th grade when his nine year old sister had nearly spoiled his first big-boy-birthday. He hadn't really forgiven her for that for nearly five fucking _years_, and suddenly he's sorry for it.

Or back in his Academy times, when he'd been home on leave and had caught his ex-girlfriend making out with his former best friend. Obviously they'd gotten to know each other fairly well in his absence. Back then, all he had done was turn around on the spot and never even come near the girl's house again. He now regrets not having decked that guy or at least told _her_ that this really wasn't the way to give courage to the fighting men.

It's so ridiculous, the stuff that comes back to you in your last hours. If someone had asked him before, he would have always said it were the big things you regretted not having done – like never going on a journey around the world or never becoming a father… or a husband… all those great adventures. But he doesn't regret that. If he still had the strength, he would actually laugh about that. He really only regrets all the small things.

Like, for example, leaving the mess hall two nights ago, instead of staying and sharing a beer with Lieutenant Cadman. But _no_, he had to practically flee the mess hall as she suddenly appeared, because lately he's been having strange feelings whenever he saw her. Well, at least that's solved now.

Shocked at how grim his sense of humor has become, he finds himself coughing, and for a minute he feels like he's _finally_ free of all the pain and the regret and the suffering, but then his breath calms down. Wheezing, but getting a little more even. God, he _wants_ it to end, and he hates the waiting. Was it like that, he wonders? Did his father feel like that when he died in Vietnam, buried in the debris of his helicopter, waiting for _someone_ to come and rescue him, hour after hour?

And will _he_ be missed like his father was? God, the thought of _not_ being missed hurts almost more than his maimed and marred body. What will they think of him? Will they even find him? What wouldn't he give now for a teeny, tiny glimpse into the future, to see when this torture will end and he will be free of gnawing thoughts and regrets and what-ifs… just knowing that it will be over _soon_ would make it all easier to bear _now_.

"Sir, he's down here… oh God, he's really down here!" Great. And now he also starts hallucinating a voice… _Cadman's_ voice. "Yeah, yeah, bring the engineers and _fast_." And light… isn't that the one thing you shouldn't walk towards? But it's were Cadman's voice is coming from… and if he has to go, going with hearing her voice is certainly one of the best ways to do so.

"Good God, he's still alive! Must have been an air pocket where he survived." Hey, what's Sheppard doing in his hallucination? Why couldn't he have only Cadman? Can't his mind shut down enough to ignore him being a soldier just for _once_ and let him die with a lovely voice instead? "What are you doing… Cadman, stay here!" Yeah, stay here, Cadman. Stay here and make it easier to go…

"I'm good, sir. I just have to… Major Lorne? Sir, can you hear me?" Holy_ crap_, is every mind at the brink of death as imaginative as his? Now he's even starting hallucinating to being _touched_. "Come on, I know you can. You're a stubborn son of a bi… I mean, you've got stamina enough for two Marines." Wow, and now his mind is starting to… "Aw, fuck it. You owe me a beer, and I ain't letting you go before I didn't get it. No _one_ flees the scene when Laura Cadman arrives. You can run, but you can't hide." No… no, there's _no_ way his mind could be making _this_ up. It just way too… Cadman.

"Wasn't… runnin…" Another cough wracks his body and he feels himself steadied by a pair of female, but strong hands.

"Hey, hey, easy, sir. And you _were_ running. But you'll be stuck in the infirmary for half an eternity now. It's not a question anymore _if_ you can repay your beer dues, but _when_." God, how he hopes that he doesn't imagine this hopeful undertone in her voice… and the hand gently stroking his dirty and bloodstained cheek.

"Any… anytime." A finger is put on his lips.

"Shut up now, you've proven yourself enough. Just concentrate on staying alive." Concentrate on staying alive… yes, he can do that. Now that there is a chance he might still get to do all the things he hasn't done yet – the big things _and_ the small things – and leave some reasons to be missed behind, concentrating on staying alive seems to be so much easier all of a sudden.


	40. 091 Birthday

**A/N:** Well then, now that I'm back in good old Germany again (but still on vacations, just for one more day... and the thought of the probable backlog already makes me want to get back on vacation...), I thought I might as well post a new story, so... there you go ;) First of all, I'd like to dedicate this to my friend **Ponomoke**... I hope she still remembers why ;) BTW, this is number two of my "Top Gun" soundtrack bunnies... again featuring something I would have liked to see more often on the show. And of course thanks to **mac** for the (really fast) betaing... oh, and the plot bunnies she keeps producing... and the four hours we spent together on Friday :)

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Prompt: 091 Birthday

**A little cold blue steel**

"_With just a little luck  
A little cold blue steel  
I cut the night like a razor blade  
Till I feel the way I want to feel."_

_Cheap Trick, "Mighty Wings"_

Who would've thought what just a little innocent comment could set in motion. Only a few nights ago she'd had one of many random conversations with Major Lorne during the graveyard shift when he'd been CO of the Control Room and she'd been on the standing security detail – the last few weeks they had found themselves in these positions quite often, and a kind of lose comradeship had developed. And for some reason they'd started to play a game that has become quite common among the population of Atlantis on that particular night: 'What do you miss most from home?' He'd made some non-committing answer of "some decent food", but she couldn't hold back blurting out, "My baby."

The look on his face – and that of the rest of the Control Room crew, come to think of it – had been… priceless. She couldn't resist a dramatic pause before clearing the confusion up with saying, "The Suzuki Bandit 600 I own. Had to put her in storage back in Springs, because there's simply no way of giving her what she needs here."

"And what _does_ 'she' need?" one of the techs had mumbled, making her smirk.

"Lots of road. And someone riding her the right way, of course." At that, several male members of the Control Room crew – including Major Lorne, if only for a short moment – had had sudden coughing fits and become _very_ interested in their screens or at least had a hard time keeping a straight face. Okay, so… yeah, she'd said that deliberately, knowing full well how cliché that sounded, but she just loves seeing these guys get embarrassed.

"Lieutenant Cadman a speed freak… why am I not surprised?" Major Lorne had mumbled and she'd had to resist sticking out her tongue. Speed freak… such a mundane word for what connects her with her bike. Or rather, what _she_ connects with the bike. But yeah… speed _is_ part of that.

She'd given Lorne a smirk and replied, "What, disappointed that some clichés are actually true, sir?" At that point, the Control Room had grown pretty quiet and everyone seemed to wait for the Major's answer. Somehow, they had turned into that night's main entertainment.

"No, just trying to understand what exactly you're missing about the Suzuki." If they'd been alone… maybe she'd have answered him openly and in detail, because she could hear that was he genuinely interested, but with the whole Control Room listening in? No.

So all she'd said was, "Everything." Unfortunately, she couldn't prevent that some of her real longing showed through. To cover it up, she'd added, "Actually… you flyboys don't know how lucky you are. At least you get your share of speed on a regular basis." All he'd done was give her a meaningful grin, a kind of apologetic shrug and an almost suggestive raise of his eyebrows. After that, the conversation had strayed to other topics and she'd nearly forgotten about it.

Until… well, until a week later when he'd knocked on her door, asked if she had a few hours of spare time and signaled the _Daedalus_ to beam them up when she'd nodded a little confused. And now he's standing in front of her in the _Daedalus_' locker room, holding a helmet and a packet that looks suspiciously like a flight suit. "Alright, gear up, Lieutenant." Resolutely, he puts the helmet and the flight suit into her hands.

She still has no idea what this is about, so the only thing she does is sputter, "Uh… sir?"

"Just gear up. Meet me on the flight deck in ten minutes." With that, he leaves the locker room, a look on his face that says very clearly that she shouldn't mess with him and simply do as he tells her. So she does the good little Marine act and gives her best to put on the flight gear correctly, adjusting everything in the way she thinks it has to be.

She even manages to make it in under eight minutes, which earns her an appreciative little smile from him. "Reporting as ordered, sir," she says, but there's a little playful undertone to it, because now she's starting to get an idea what this is about.

"_Almost_ as ordered, Lieutenant. Hope you don't mind…" he reaches out to readjust a few straps and finally to fully close the zipper, "there you are. Good to go. Come on." He signals her to follow him and after passing a few curious flight mechanics and pilots, they come to stand beside one of the F-302s. Suddenly, some of his usual quiet self-assuredness disappears and he even has to clear his throat before speaking up again. "Granted, it's no Suzuki, but… how about some share of speed?"

She looks at the big piece of steel and glass again. Before she knows it, she has reached out and touched the tip of one of the wings. She realizes she's never been this close to one of Earth's most prestigious fighters. A little awed, she lets her hand wander over the wing's surface. It's really just cold steel and circuits and bolts, but… it's also the epitome of power and… well… kind of sexy. She turns back to the Major, careful not to let the giddiness welling up inside of her show. "You're right, it's no Suzuki. But I think I could give it a chance."

"Give it a chance, huh?" He doesn't look amused. She tries looking sheepish, and he grins a little reluctantly. "Okay, come on. We don't have time until all eternity." With that, he shoos her to the cockpit, telling her exactly where to sit and where to put what. Then comes a short introduction on safety protocols and the strict caution not to touch anything. The last thing he does is give her a short slap on the back of her helmet and she's a little surprised to see that he's actually excited at the prospect of flying. Huh… who would have thought.

After a seeming eternity of take off procedures, he maneuvers the slightly bulky fighter out of the hangar bay, into the wide open space above Atlantis, and for a moment she feels her heart missing a beat. She tries to tell herself that it's all anticipation, but if she's honest… as she realizes that there's really only some glass and steel separating her from the deadly vacuum of space, she feels her throat constrict with… not fear, but apprehension.

As he accelerates the speed, her adrenalin levels climb and the giddiness threatens to turn into full out ardor. Only her absolute resolve not to make a fool out of herself keeps her from giggling and shouting. "Alright, Cadman… ready for some _real_ action?" Argh. Couldn't he have just kept quiet? Now she has to answer… forgetting that he can hear just about everything, she takes a deep breath to calm herself down.

"Sure, sir. Bring it on." Wow, that sounded _almost_ as cool as she would have liked it to.

Unfortunately, he must have heard that as well, as the corresponding grin translates into his voice. "Just remember that this isn't exactly picking wildflowers." What the…? A _zoomie_ is implying that she doesn't have the balls to endure some flying tricks? Huh.

"I do bombs for a living, sir. I think I can handle some ups and downs." That makes him chuckle… and it's a nice sound.

"Don't say I didn't warn you. Well then… Rock'n'Roll." She wants to comment on that, but the sudden lurch forward presses her into her seat and the barrel roll he puts the fighter into takes away her breath. She wants to force herself to keep her eyes open, but the spinning stars make her dizzy and so she closes them. It's not exactly helping, but at least she can fight the rising nausea. She was never one with a queasy stomach, neither on ships nor on airplanes and she will surely not become sick in a space fighter. Right?

"Everything okay, Lieutenant?" Of course, Mr. Zoomie, she wants to snap, but the real worry in his voice makes her reconsider. She takes a few steadying breaths and the underlying sickness subsides again.

"Yeah. Thanks for your concern, though."

"Good." Wait… is that an evil grin she can hear there? What is he…? Before she can answer, he turns the fighter into a corkscrew spin and immediately after that does a few loops and she really can't decide between feeling absolutely miserable and totally exhilarated. She _desperately_ needs do to something to distract her from the spinning.

Hoping it's safe to talk, she tries very hard to keep her voice level and casual, as she asks, "By the way, sir… how the hell did you get permission to get a jarhead into a zoomie fighter?"

"Called in a few favors," is all he says, but it's all it takes to give her the surprise of the year. It startles her enough to make her forget the queasy stomach and simply let her enjoy the feel of the vibrating naquadah engines and the sheer power this things holds. As he dives into another spin, she can't hold back a delighted squeal and it earns her a laugh… maybe the first real one she ever heard from him in all the time she's been serving alongside him.

She still wants to keep up a minimum of her dignity, but abandons that thought as soon as he starts a little zig-zag flight. In between the slightly silly giggles she manages to say, "Is there a reason so many people on the _Daedalus_ owe you something, sir?"

"Is there a reason you are so nosy, Lieutenant?" Ah, someone doesn't want to tell her _how_ many favors he had to call in… which automatically brings her to the question as to… _why_ he went to all this trouble. As if he heard her thoughts, he breaks hard left and gives her something else to think about than what made him take her up here in the first place.

"And here I thought my file said everything about me." He chuckles again. She's starting to like that sound. What she doesn't like, though, is that he is right on collision course with the _Daedalus_, and at full speed. The ship is coming nearer at an impossible rate and just as she's about to really question this guy's sanity, he breaks off and pulls the F-302's nose up. She's a little annoyed at all the relief that floods her and can't hold back murmuring, "Showoff."

"I heard that, Lieutenant. Okay… what do you think? Did it make up for missing the Suzuki?" Well, did it? Granted, it was _fast_. Maybe she didn't get to feel the wind and didn't get to be the one in control – because that's what she likes most about her baby: When she's riding her, she and she alone is fully in control – but the Major's flying _was_ exciting enough to give her that special kick she's been missing for quite some time now.

But there's no chance in hell she'll tell him, because she thinks his ego got already enough to feed on today. "Mh… yeah. A bit."

"My, aren't we easy to please." If she'd sat across from him, she'd have to hold herself back, but since she sits behind him, she actually makes a face and sticks her tongue out. "I'm your CO, Cadman, I have eyes in the back of my head." Oops. "Anyway… I think that's it for today. Can't use up _all_ my favors." Not that she'd asked him to use up even _one_ of them… but she decides to keep quiet on that, because she doesn't want to spoil the easy banter between them.

Without further delay, he steers the fighter back into the hangar and executes a very smooth landing, most probably textbook. He gets out of the cockpit with the grace and easiness of a guy who's done this whole thing countless times before, and she really gives her best to appear totally unfazed, but her stupid legs betray her and she has to lean against the ladder for a moment when she is finally back on the flight deck. For a moment it looks like Major Lorne is going to ask her again if she's okay – this time she can also see his face, and is surprised that she does detect the worry there she just heard earlier – but then he seems to remember that this isn't the kind of question you should ask a Marine all too often. Once a week really suffices.

After a moment she feels safe enough to step away from the ladder and walk up beside him. "Admit it, you did all of that just to see famous Laura Cadman lose her cool."

The laugh she receives at that is hearty and loud enough to turn a few heads even on the other side of the flight deck. His face looks at least five years younger and the dimples she only got in very faint versions until now are fully showing. "Yeah," he says between smaller laughs, "absolutely. You have uncovered my cunning plan. You really are pretty clever." Dramatic pause, and she almost knows what'll come now. "For a Marine, I mean." Maybe it's his open glee, maybe it's the aftereffects of the flying still messing with her head… but she finds herself lightly hitting his arm. For a moment she's afraid she went too far, because the slightly offended look on his face says so, but then a mischievous grin shines through and he adds, "But you hit like a girl."

Something in her face must have been scary enough that he actually starts running to the locker rooms, but she will not be outdone by a zoomie. Grinning like mad she starts after him, only marginally wondering what people are thinking at the sight of two Atlantis officers in flight gear chasing each other to the locker rooms. Probably that there has to be a reason why only very _special_ people are chosen for the Atlantis Expedition.

Later, after they have both changed back and he got them beamed back in front of her quarters, she's a little reluctant to let him go just yet because she has finally decided that she likes this side of him, even though she has seen it for the first time ever, at least to this degree. And she's not sure if she's imagining it, but… it seems like he doesn't want to leave so fast, either. Trying to look casual with his hands in his pockets he's standing before her, at first not really sure what to say. Then, "So, what did we learn today, Lieutenant?"

She leans against the wall beside the door that leads to her quarters and grins. "You're an evil genius, sir?"

A small, positively wicked grin passes over his face and she finds herself shocked at finding it… well… sexy as hell. "I was thinking more along the lines of… jarheads may be good at doing it in the dirt, but zoomies are good at doing it _in space_." Good… _God_. He didn't just… "Close your mouth, Cadman. No idea where _your_ mind went, but _I_ meant fighting." She really, really wishes she had a comeback for that, but even after this day, it totally takes her aback and she can just stare at him a little shocked. And then… he goes in for the kill. Putting his hand beside her head to the wall, he leans in very slightly and just says with his voice a little lower, "By the way… happy birthday, Lieutenant."

With that, he leaves, only turning around once again to give her a slightly uncertain little smile and then walking away a little faster, as if he just realized what he said and is afraid of her reaction. But as it is… she isn't quite sure what her reaction _is_. The only thing she knows is… she isn't half as appalled as she should be. In fact… she's not appalled at all. Just not quite sure what to do about this… all of this. Then again… wait. There's already an idea forming in her head.


	41. 094 Independence

**A/N:** And here we have the idea Cadman had started to develop in "Birthday" and the third "Top Gun" plot bunny. Let's see what she's got in store for the Major ;) And yes, also betaed by **mac**... who still doesn't want me to acknowledge it so just ignore I just typed that... although such a good beta is very hard ignore... Alright, I'll shut up now.  


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Prompt: 094 Independence

**Spreading out her wings tonight**

"_Heading into twilight  
Spreading out her wings tonight  
She got you jumping off the track  
And shoving into overdrive."_

_Kenny Loggins, "Danger Zone"_

Well… what a pity. Just one more night on the base before heading back to Atlantis and all he does is sit around in the SGC guest officers' quarters and do… nothing. Granted, it's what he intended in the first place – what with wanting a little quiet after three weeks of busy leave back home – but it's like it always is when you actually get the quiet you want: You're bored out of your wits. Bored, bored, bo… oh, a knock on the door.

A little startled, he gets up from reading the book he hadn't paid any attention to anyway and opens the door. It reveals… Cadman. In black leather biker gear. And to make matters even stranger, she shoves a full face helmet and a packet into his unsuspecting hands and says, "Alright, gear up, sir."

What the…? He feels awfully much reminded of that little F-302 stunt he pulled with her six weeks ago. He'd taken great care not to remind her of that again, and she had refrained from any allusions. Well, any _open_ allusions, that is. So he had just assumed she was insinuating to him that she wasn't interested the way _he_ discovered he was, but letting him down gently and without too much embarrassment. But now she's standing there and all he can do is stare at her.

"Pardon me, sir. Do… do I have something in my face?" He blinks. Crap, he must be looking like an idiot to her now. He forces himself to make the idiot stare go away and regain at least a little bit of his dignity.

"No, it's just… never mind. You were saying?" She gives him a _look_ from under her lashes.

"Do you want to pass the evening here with…" she bends her head to catch the title of the book that fell to the ground when she shoved the stuff into his hands, "Mr. Hemingway… Mh… never pegged you for _that_ guy." What is _that_ supposed to mean? Or… wait… is she doing that just to tease him a little? "Anyway, do you want to pass your evening with old Ernest in Spain or do you want to get to know a very special _baby_?" He takes a look at her again and finds it very easy to guess which "baby" she's referring to.

He finds himself looking back at his battered edition of _For Whom The Bell Tolls_ and at her again and… mentally apologizes to Mr. Hemingway for abandoning him for a pretty girl and – hopefully – a fast bike. But then again… Ernest would have understood, he's sure of that. "Tough question." He'd intended not to let the growing excitement shine through, but he just can't hold back the hint of a grin at her rolling her eyes. "I think I'll take door number two."

For a moment, he can see surprise shining through. Look who just lost her cool there for the blink of an eye. But then she manages to get back her slightly smug demeanor. "Good choice. You've got ten minutes."

He _could_ tell her now that he's still her superior, but now he's _really_ curious where this is going and simply complies; shutting his door and changing into the gear she just gave him. Surprisingly… it all fits and he really wonders how she managed to get the right sizes. As it is… _he_ didn't have a problem finding out when it's her birthday, but she… Anyway, he's done. Feeling a little embarrassed, he opens the door again.

Huh. Is that appreciation he sees on her face? More and more it dawns on him that he might have read her totally wrong when he thought she didn't turn him down openly only because she was still searching for a way to do it that wouldn't offend him too much. "If I may say so, sir… black is definitely your color."

He chooses not to comment on that, because he has the stupid feeling that the color of his face is saying enough. Instead, he just gestures her to lead the way, which she does with a smirk on her face. She's about a step or two ahead of him and he can't help staring at her back and her… well… _backside_. Reminding himself that she's a fellow officer and deserves nothing but his utmost respect, he forces himself to look away.

To distract himself from staring at her, he clears his throat and says, "You know… there's one thing I've been wondering about…" She turns around, her eyebrow raised. Dammit, he really likes that quirking-her-eyebrow-thing, and if he wants to get out of this without embarrassing himself, he should stop making her do things he likes. "Why didn't you… uh… sell your bike? I mean, you're on a three-year-tour, aren't you?"

She gives him a look that's downright disapproving and shakes her head. "_Sell_ her? No way, sir. The Sooz and I… we go way back. She's… well, never mind." It looks like she wants to add something, but then refrains from it. Maybe… because it's way too personal. It would figure. Lieutenant Cadman likes to talk and she doesn't have a problem with telling things about herself… but he'd noticed already quite a while ago that it were usually just tidbits or funny anecdotes. Every time it had looked like she was about to tell something about _her_ she'd just give a very tiny sign of hesitation and then shut up.

Usually, he lets it lie when he sees this, but today… he feels like something is _different_. "It's what, Lieutenant?" When he sees that she's about to close herself off, he feels compelled to add, "Don't worry, I won't tell on you. Promise."

She sighs. "First of all, _it_ is a _she_. And second… it's really nothing deep or anything." She avoids his gaze, puts a stray strand behind her ear and gives him an edgy smile. He wants to rub her back and tell her she doesn't have to embarrassed, but like all the other times he'd wanted to comfort her in the weeks before going on leave, he does nothing but mirror her smile with an encouraging one. She sighs again. "The Sooz… she means freedom. The only thing I alone ever had full control over. I had her since boot camp and… well, you know how boot camp can be. Like I said… nothing really deep. Sorry if you expected more, sir."

Huh. _More_ than _that_? She basically just told him what's about the most important thing in the world for her and what was probably a very difficult time in her life. What the hell do you say to that? He wants to thank her for sharing this little bit with him or tell her it's actually _more_ than he expected… but something tells him that even if she might not be as disinterested as he thought, it's not the right time for that yet. So all he does is smile again and say, "I'm starting to really get interested in that… Suzuki of yours." Alright so that's not what he really meant to say he was interested in, but at least it earned him one of those secret little smiles she doesn't give everyone.

By now, they have reached the surface and she leads him through the checkpoint, pointedly ignoring the funny looks the two guys on guard are giving them. In the parking lot, she makes a beeline for one of the few occupied slots and well… there it is. It's not a big bike or one of those very slim racing machines, but it does look like there's at least some power under the chassis… which is, as he notes a little surprised, _not_ red, but of a very dark midnight blue.

She steps beside it and looks a little shy all of a sudden. "Yeah, well… that's her. Granted, it's no F-302, but… she can get you pretty far, if she has to." Absentmindedly, her fingers play over the seat and he feels his gaze glued to them. He never realized she had such… beautiful fingers. If he didn't know she usually used them to play around with C4, he'd never guessed it. "Sir?" Dammit, that's really not like him. Letting himself get distracted by some details in the fabric, so to speak.

"I was just… thinking of the backlog that must be cluttering my desk by now." Whoa, totally believable. Okay, so that's not what the look she's throwing him says, but he _could_ have been thinking about that.

"Mh, maybe we should really give you something else to think about then," she says and signals him to take his place behind her. At first he's a little reluctant to place his arms around her waist but she just gives him a nice little laugh and tells him it's either giving up his reservations or falling off the bike. There's really only one option left.

Then she starts the motor and takes them away from Cheyenne Mountain. At first, while still driving through the city it feels like she's restraining herself and he's surprised at how careful a driver she is. He chastises himself a little because he'd let himself be guided by stereotypes and prejudices. By now he should have learned that Laura Cadman is pretty good at surprising him when he least expects it.

After driving through the city she takes them on a route he recognizes as one leading into the mountains and he wonders if that is finally her payback for him putting her stomach to the test a few weeks ago. Now she _is_ giving more speed and because he is so close to her, he can feel her muscles move while controlling the bike. The wind is starting to get rougher the faster she drives and she's taking the many bends pretty… sharply. A few times he's sure there are only a few inches between their knees and the road's surface. Luckily, the road is basically empty and although dusk has set in, it'll take a little time until it'll be fully dark, since it's summer.

She was right, he thinks. This is certainly no F-302, but that doesn't mean it's not as exciting. It's just… different, and he starts to _really_ understand what Cadman misses about her bike on Atlantis. He realizes that his somewhat unusual birthday gift may have meant more to her than he'd assumed all the time, and suddenly he's glad he gave in to that stupid whim and used up nearly all the favors certain people on the _Daedalus_ owed him.

Then, just when he started to get a feel for how she's driving, she slows down and steers the Suzuki onto a small platform beside the road, really only big enough for the bike and maybe the two of them. Where is _that_ supposed to go? Shrugging, he gets off the bike and she follows. It's almost dark now, but when she takes off the helmet he can still see the very lovely sight of Laura Cadman's hair looking just a little roughed up and her eyes glinting with delight in the dark. Very much… like she looked after the F-302 flight. "Come on, I want to show you something." Show him something?

She walks to the edge of the platform and seeing her standing there, high above the ground, makes him a little dizzy, but who is he to let himself be outdone by a Marine at something that has to do with height? Trying to look totally unfazed, he walks up beside her and… yes, now he can see what she wanted to show him. In front of him, Colorado Springs is spreading out, little dots of light shining through the night. The last time he ever saw it like this… he can't even remember when that was.

"Wow, that's…"

"Just wait another minute." He looks beside him to see her raising her eyebrows suggestively and giving him another secret little smile. Before he can ask what exactly is going to happen in a minute, the question is already answered by fireworks going off above Colorado Springs. Whoa. And even more 'whoa' because she leans in and says in a very low voice, "Happy Fourth of July, sir." Yep… payback for her birthday, definitely. But… the kind of payback he likes. He smiles down on her, suddenly positive that this wasn't the last time the Suzuki will get them somewhere.


	42. 096 Sense Writer's Choice

**A/N:** Here we go with a few more postings (five on the whole, including this one) taking place in the "Road Not Taken"-verse, posted in chronological order. This one takes place about a year after the story I wrote for the "Blue" prompt so you might want to read that again because it's been a while since I posted it. And yeah, I had to exorcize my RNT fixation with this and the following stories... Anyway, betaed by **mac**, hopefully liked by you ;) (wow, that was short...)

BTW, I recently hit the 10.000-hits milestone with "A hundred ways..." Thanks so much people, it really feels awesome :)

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Prompt: _096 Sense__ (Writer's Choice)_

**Don't make a fuss**

"_So if I call you  
__Don't make a fuss  
Don't tell your friends about the two of us  
I'm not in love."_

_10 CC, "I'm not in Love"_

Stupid Lieutenant Laura Cadman. Stupid fight. And stupid him. Just stupid… everything. Scowling, he stares at his door, daring anyone to come in and give him a reason to vent off some of the anger that's still inside of him. It's been an hour and he still hasn't fully calmed down. It irks him, because normally he isn't that easy to unnerve, but lately Laura Cadman had had a tendency to rile him up.

No, scratch that. She _always_ had a tendency to rile him up; ever since the day she joined his team about a year ago. Even when he'd been intent to show the world how much he wanted them to leave him the hell alone, she'd had the audacity to drag him back from the edge and make him see sharing one's pain isn't always a sign of weakness. He still remembers her coming into his office and looking like a deer in headlights a moment before brashly plunking herself down in the chair in front of his desk and forcing him to talk.

Back then he'd been surprised at how easy it was to tell her about Sam and her double and the whole crazy alternative universe thing… and he'd been surprised at how well she understood him. To him, it had seemed as if he was the only one who truly realized what it meant that Major Samantha Carter wasn't coming back… and as if he was the only one who was deeply afflicted by that realization. He'd missed her and struggled with Fate and God and whoever else that had allowed this to happen – after all, his best friend had suddenly been gone… without even giving him the chance to say good-bye.

They had given him two new guys – Captain James Henderson and Lieutenant Harry Linley – and this little female still fresh-faced Marine Lieutenant. All of them had never been off-world before, and Henderson and Linley hadn't even been working at the SGC before that. He had had the strange suspicion that they wanted to gloss over the fact that the Samantha Carter that had saved their world did so at the price of losing Sam… make it look like Sam had never existed even. He'd tried to talk to General Hammond about it, but the pain had still been too fresh for him to be able to stand his ground in such a discussion.

But that brazen Lieutenant – known for having a penchant for getting herself in trouble when still on one of 'Gate security teams – had somehow seen he needed someone to understand him, even if he hadn't known that himself back then. Ever since then she just wouldn't let him draw back into his shell. Despite his still lingering anger, he finds himself smiling.

He remembers surprise visits – or rather invasions – with DVDs where she dragged Henderson and Linley to his place and starlit nighttime conversations on her rooftop terrace between only the two of them. Henderson's wedding not to forget… and the funeral of Laura's father. Shootouts and dramatic daring rescues, decoration ceremonies and long nights in the infirmary… and always and everywhere Laura, Laura, Laura. Groaning he puts his head in his hands.

This hadn't been their first fight – in fact, he thinks he fought more with Laura in that one year than with Sam in the four years they served together – but their worst. Before it had always been about some professional matter or other and they could always keep it that way. But somehow… this one escalated to personal and he doesn't even know how and why. He just knows that at some point he'd shouted, "Then what the _hell_ do you want from me, Laura?"

She'd thrown up her hands in frustration and shouted back, "I just… I want you to see me for myself! I'm not _her_, Evan! I'm… _me_! And I… goddammit!" She'd tried to continue, but _something_ seemed to keep her from it. He'd looked at her, trying to piece together what just had happened and realized that it just… threw him off-course. Without another word he'd left her lab, going as far as letting the door behind him slam. At first he'd thought it had been because she'd dragged Sam into this and simply had no right to do this, but already on the agitated way to his office, he'd realized it had been more than this.

_See me for myself_. Didn't he do that? _I'm not her._ Had he ever behaved like she was only a substitute for Sam? He honestly has no idea… and he wished Sam was here, because he needs her advice so desperately now. She would have known what it is about Laura that makes him lose his temper so easily, and she would also have known what it is that makes fighting with Laura so hard on him.

Fighting with Sam… had never been so exhausting and nerve-rattling, if they ever fought at all. Sam never was afraid to give him a piece of her mind, but she just never… confused him and frustrated him so much. Yeah… that's it. Laura – or rather what she stirs deep inside of him – _confuses_ him. God, Sam, he thinks, what am I gonna do with that Lieutenant? It's all so strange and screwed up and complicated and… in fact… in fact it's quite simple, really.

His head drops on his desk with another groan. Dammit, why does this have to happen to him… to _them_? It never happened with _Sam_. Him and Sam, that was a good, solid friendship, safe and within acceptable bounds and meant to stay like this until the end of time. It had been so easy, so comfortable… God, how he misses that. But it's gone and instead he has a Lieutenant with a temper almost as volatile as her favorite toy from the armory and more cheek than a junior officer should ever be allowed to have. The worst thing is: He wouldn't want to trade her off for anything or anyone again, because the thought of _her_ leaving as well is simply unbearable.

Now he also knows what Sam would have said. She would have told him to clear this up, once and for all. Tell Laura about it, in a sensible way and make sure it won't get in their way on the job. Lock it all away and accept it if Laura decides she can't work like this. And end this fight as soon as possible. Ah, yeah, sensible Sam. Usually, she was right with what she told him, and so he gets up to walk all the way back to her lab, this time not even half as fast as when he came from there.

When he arrives there, he really hopes Henderson and Linley are still occupied with their own projects – he doesn't know if he could deal with the rest of his team involved in this right now – and that she's still alone in the lab. Their shouting… had been loud enough that it _must_ have attracted attention, but as far as he knows none of her friends are currently on the base.

Sighing silently, he carefully opens the door. He risks a peek in and is relieved to see her sitting at her desk, typing furiously on her laptop. Not quite sure how to approach her, he simply sits down on one of the vacant chairs, watching her. She's still not reacting, giving him very obviously the silent treatment. He _really_ shouldn't have just run away.

For nearly 15 minutes he tries to find the right way to open this conversation, but all he can come up with is just crap. So in the end, he settles with, "The thing is: I do see you for yourself. In fact, that's the whole problem." Yeah, that about sums it up pretty well.

It also managed to startle her enough that she forgets that she's still trying to ignore him. Confused she looks up. "Problem? What problem? I… don't understand."

For a moment, he's inclined to believe her, but then he remembers that _something_ that kept her from clarifying her accusation of him not really seeing her. He takes a deep breath and forces himself to look her right in the eye. "I think you do, Laura."

She wants to say something, but shuts her mouth again. She breaks the eye contact, looks at the wall for a moment. Then she squeezes her eyes shut, looking a lot like she's very near crying. Don't do that, he thinks. Please don't start crying now. She'd done that only once – the moment they had told her that her father had been found dead after he'd been missing for over two years – and it had left him completely helpless.

But now, she gets a grip on herself and replies, "Oh. And… what do we do about that now?" Well, it's not quite what he expected, but then again… he hadn't really expected anything anyway.

So… what _do_ they do now? There are about a million options… and only one that feels appropriate to him. "Business as usual, of course."

For a moment, something like disappointment crosses her face – but it's enough to already make him regret his decision. However, she doesn't give him time to undo his mistake, because she answers, "Of course, sir." Dammit. The "sir" never stung so much as it did now, but his chance is gone and now he has to go through with this.

"Right. Carry on, Lieutenant." He pretends to himself he has to go now because he has a mountain of work to do, but the only real reason for his desire to leave is that right now he can't take it that even though he's in the same room with her it feels like there is something impenetrable separating them.

As he passes her on the way to the door, she doesn't even look up when she says, "Yes, sir." Without another word, he is out of her lab, barely able to resist the urge to lean against the wall and close his eyes until the feeling of having just lost _another_ friend goes away. Step by step, he makes it back to his office, with only two thoughts in his head: Carry on, Major. Business as usual.


	43. 007 Days

**A/N:** Guys, you didn't really think I'd leave you hanging with that very disatisfying end, did you? However, there's a reason that there still are three more RNT-pieces after this one... Anyway, here you go, with thanks to **mac** of course and... oh well, you'll see ;)

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Prompt: 007 Days

**All I can do**

"_All that I know is I'm breathing  
All I can do is keep breathing  
All we can do is keep breathing."_

_Ingrid Michaelson, "Keep Breathing"_

So much for 'Business as usual.' In fact… 'Business as usual.' his ass. Because… even in SG1's terms… this whole thing is far from 'Business as usual.', for several reasons. One is that… he never felt so _horrible_ sitting at the bed of one of his team members in the infirmary. Another one is that he never went head to head with General Hammond before like he had six days ago. And the last one is that Henderson and Linley never defied his orders before.

Keeping from groaning he bends down and buries his head in his hands again, partly to try and shut off the memories from what happened six days ago, partly to relieve himself of the sight on the bed before him, at least for a few moments. But it isn't working for either one.

He keeps remembering the blizzard his team was surprised by, Laura forcing him to leave her behind, forcing General Hammond to let him go back, risking his career in the process… he also remembers Henderson and Linley refusing to let him go alone – with the very convincing statement of "Sir… Lieutenant Cadman would have my ass if I let you walk back in that white hell all on your own. And with all due respect… she can be way scarier than you." from Henderson – and finding Laura, nearly dead from hypothermia.

He also remembers standing in the observation room and watching the doctors save her life. Impassively, not moving, not even really seeing the commotion down below… just Laura. Thousands of thoughts running through his mind, boiling down to just one: He'd do it all again for her. Of course, he'd do it for Henderson and Linley as well… but not out of the same reasons. He takes a deep breath and looks up again.

He's alone in the infirmary now, having finally sent Henderson and Linley home after they came here day after day, pretending to go about their duties as usual but in truth just being there to make sure their CO didn't forget to eat and drink… and to keep an eye on Laura. They did put up quite some resistance, but for some reason… he doesn't want them to be here today.

It's the day the docs have decided to bring her out of the artificial coma they put her in to give her body the rest it needed to cope with the effects of the hypothermia. They've tried to be all optimistic about it, but they couldn't fool him – chances are there she won't wake up again. And if that happens… he doesn't want Henderson and Linley to be here. If that happens, he wants Henderson, who he knows to be almost as close as an older brother to Laura to be with his wife when he gets told she didn't make it and he wants Linley, who owes Laura his life and his girlfriend to be with said girlfriend when he tells him.

He, however… he has no one he could call for comfort, due to the fact that his best friend disappeared a year ago and that his family became estranged from him during the time before the alternative Carter saved them from the Ori. His life had centered around the SGC and his work and he'd never found the courage to try and mend fences with his family after. Then Laura came and his life slowly became centered around her as well, even before he had realized what she meant to him. And now he's sitting here, just ten minutes to go until the decisive moment where she either opens her eyes or will probably remain like this forever.

God, how he wishes she would have put in a transfer request after his admission two weeks ago. Then he wouldn't have had to endure seeing her day in, day out, determined to be all professional, as if nothing had ever happened in that lab of hers and he wouldn't have had to pretend to himself that he could lock it all away, for the sake of his and her career. And most important of all: He wouldn't have had to take her on the mission that might have cost her life.

He looks at her face again, pale and sunken in, somehow looking weary and he remembers how her eyes had looked when she'd _pleaded_ with him to leave her behind because she'd known she would only slow the team down with her twisted ankle… he'd just _known_ that she was just _this_ close to tell him that situations like these were exactly why non-frat regs existed. But goddammit, hearts don't care about rules… and that would have been exactly what he would have told her if she'd reminded him of the regs then.

She never did, though, and so he just remembers the pleading look as her last conscious action. By the time they'd gotten to her a second time, she'd already been unconscious, scaring him to death because at first he hadn't even been able to find a pulse. Only his firm belief that Laura was too pig-headed to let herself be defeated by something as trivial as a blizzard had kept him from losing it there in the snow.

It's what still keeps him from losing it – although he isn't quite sure how much more than sitting at a hospital bed six days straight and forgetting to eat, drink and sleep one can lose it – and he doesn't want to think about what could happen if she doesn't wake up again.

He takes another look at his watch. Five more minutes of the torture of being torn between guilt, hope, a broken heart and the fear of losing her. Five more minutes in this strange limbo where everything is still possible, where nothing is decided yet… he wants to talk to her, tell her that she just _can't_ leave because she became the heart of his team, the one to hold them all together, the one forcing them to leave reservations behind them and become a _team_ instead of four soldiers who were thrown into the same unit by accident.

He also wants to tell Laura that when Sam left, she took a part of him with her he'll never regain, but that he… doesn't even have words for what it would mean if _she _left him as well and plead with her not to leave him… promise her all kinds of things. To leave her in peace, to finally recommend her to the promotion board like he should have done already six months ago, to get her that spectrometer she'd been moping about for at least three months now… if only she wakes up and gets well again.

But his throat and his tongue refuse to work properly as he sees the doctors approaching for the moment that will make him or break him and so the only thing he can bring himself to is squeeze her hand and whisper half pleadingly, "Don't go, Laura." Then they are there and all he can do is step back… and hope.

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**A/N #2:** Okay, go ahead, hate me...


	44. 072 Fixed

**A/N:** And so we have the release... well, part of it anyway. Remember, there are two... err, three more pieces to come, but the latest one is entirely **mac**'s fault because she gave me an idea I _had_ to exorcize _and_ she said she liked Henderson and Linley and then it kind of... turned into yet _another_ RNT-piece... you know, guys, you have to tell me when you're sick of them. Or else the bunnies might not stop coming :S (but, yeah, okay, there _are_ a few other bunnies... mac should know...). Anyway... betaed by The One I Already Mentioned Way Too Much In This Post :)  
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Prompt: 072 Fixed

**Recovering**

"_And I can't believe  
__That it's taken all this time  
I can't believe  
My life and my destiny  
After the clans, after the clearings  
Here I am  
Recovering."_

_Runrig, "Recovery"_

She still finds it hard to believe that she's here, in the SGC's infirmary. When she'd been on that planet, in the middle of a blizzard, with no chance of reaching the 'Gate ever again and had felt her body slowly shutting down in the intense cold, she'd already resigned herself to failure and death. It had been harder to accept all those missed chances and the things she'd never see or do again than she had thought but the cold had helped. So in a way she'd been thankful for it.

She had also been thankful for it because it had helped her to numb the pain of having had to send Evan away, to tell him to leave her behind. All the while where she had still been conscious, she couldn't forget the helplessness and desperation in his eyes and not for the first time she'd wished she'd never said that thing about him not seeing her as herself. As strange as that sounds, in that moment she'd wished he'd see her simply as another soldier, as a nuisance brought in to cover up that Samantha Carter wasn't there anymore. If he had… it wouldn't have been so hard for him to leave her behind and she wouldn't have been forced to cause him pain.

In a way she's glad she hasn't seen him at least once ever since waking up three days ago. Henderson had been here, of course, good-naturedly berating her for giving them all such a scare and reassuring her he would of course do everything in his might to get her out of the infirmary as soon as possible – although they both knew she won't be up to anything besides lying in bed for an extended amount of time.

Linley also sat around her berth, joking around and telling her about the elections she missed due to her coma. There were also visits from General Hammond, a few of the people from the Dynamite gang… but there was one person that never showed up and that no one talked about: Major Evan Lorne.

Out of some unspoken collective agreement none of them had mentioned him and because she had been simply too weak to deal with the mess that was the relationship between her and her CO she'd been thankful for it because it meant that she had to deal with one thing less. At the moment it's really enough that she has to wrap her head around the fact that she's missing two toes – and only because her team was lucky enough to find her as fast as they did – and that it could take weeks, maybe even months, until she is her old fit for duty self again.

But it's been three days now… and even though she doesn't want to, she started missing him… started wondering what it is that keeps him away… if it's somehow her fault. As if to rouse her from her musings, the curtain around her berth flaps and for a moment she finds her heart flaring with the ridiculous hope that _this_ time it might be Evan, finally coming to talk. But it's just Linley again, an apple in his hand, his usual cheerful expression on his face. Although… is she imagining it or is it just façade today?

"Hey, Cadman. Still enjoying the amenities of the Purple Heart Inn?" There's something in his voice… as if he's uncomfortable about something but doesn't want to tell her what it is.

So for the time being she decides to play along. "What does it look like, huh?" She wishes she wouldn't sound so feeble. It's not like her to need so much time to bounce back.

"It looks like you're having a great time." Still trying to joke around but failing miserably. She wonders why Linley even bothers because he was never able to keep up a blank front for long. In fact… usually he's as easy to read as an open book. Unlike… certain other officers she doesn't want to think about right now.

And so it's no surprise that she decides to cut to the chase and addresses him directly, "Harry… stop beating around the bush. What's the matter?"

Looking a little embarrassed because she found him out so fast, Linley sits down beside her bed and takes one or two bites of his apple until he starts talking again. "I shouldn't… I promised Jim I wouldn't talk about this." And he shouldn't have said that. Because it told her several things already: There's something Henderson doesn't want her to know – probably to protect her from it, considering how overprotective he can be of her – and it's something they don't want to talk about with _Evan_ or Linley would have mentioned him as well.

"Then you shouldn't have said that. And since you already blurted it out… what's the use in keeping quiet about the rest of it anyway?" Come on, she thinks. Don't make me pry too much. I just don't have the strength to do it yet… and I can't follow you out of his room if you decide to stand up and walk away. And I just _know_ you _want_ to talk about it.

Squirming a little in his seat, Linley finally takes a deep breath and says, "Don't tell Jim, right?" She shakes her head. "Okay, it's just… you should know that… the Major is grounded." Grounded? _Why_? People like Evan… they _never_ get grounded. They are loyal and obedient and dutiful enough that they even fall out with their families over their service… or try to lock away their feelings in order to adhere to the rules. "Don't look at me like that. We can't believe it either… _we_ should be grounded." What the…? Obviously she had some _very_ bad influence on her team. "They say General Hammond didn't want to but… he had to file charges against the Major for insubordination. So until he's cleared… he's grounded."

Okay. She's out of it for _six_ days and her guys get themselves in the kind of scrapes usually only _she_ gets herself in? Insubordination? It all confuses her enough to be speechless – she refuses to believe it has anything to do with her physical condition – and all she can do is give Linley a perplexed look. "When we came back after… you know what… we were ordered to stand down but the Major… he didn't accept that. He went head to head with General Hammond. I mean, they didn't shout at each other… but… yeah." Head to head. With General Hammond. _Evan_. For _her_. It gives her all kinds of funny feelings and it scares her a little that none of them are negative.

Her hand closes around a portion of her covers and she takes a deep breath. "Harry…"

Linley swallows a bite of his apple and then hastens to interrupt her, as if there's been something on his mind for quite a while now and he needs to get rid of it. "Laura… what's going on between you and the Major?"

Yeah, that's something _she_ would like to know as well. First he practically admits he's in love with her, then it's 'Business as usual.', then he risks his career for her anyway… she turns on her side, facing Linley and curling up as far she can manage without exhausting herself too much. "Nothing's going on, Harry." Which isn't a _total_ lie. There _is_ stuff between them but in essence they never really _acted_ on it and they never _will_ act on it either. "I mean… do you see him sitting around here somewhere?" Alright, that was… not a very clever thing to say, most of all if she wants to convince Linley that her feelings for Evan are strictly business.

Linley sighs. "General Hammond sent him home three days ago. After he sat at your bed, for six days straight. If Jim and I hadn't been here… he'd even forgotten about eating and drinking and the only times he slept would have been when he passed out from sheer exhaustion." He's quiet now, knowing full well about the impact this has on her, leaving her to digest all of which he just said. People might think him inconsiderate, boisterous and a show-off, but _she_ knows that there's more to the book than the cover says.

Then, when he thinks he has given her enough time he says quietly, "Look… I know Jim would never say anything but he thinks the same: Whatever it is between you and the Major… get it sorted out, for the sake of the team." Even if it means breaking up the team, she thinks and is sure that he thought the same thing.

She closes her eyes, feeling the weariness that has accompanied her ever since waking up welling up just a little more. All of this… it makes her so tired and she wishes for something – or someone – just to give her comfort, without demanding or expecting anything from her. No fake cheerfulness, no forced brave smiles, no clearing up stuff she doesn't even really understand… just be there and make her feel like everything will be alright again and make this uncharacteristic weariness disappear and let her be herself again.

But she still owes Linley an answer. With a soundless sigh she opens her eyes again… and nearly has a heart attack at the sight. Instead of Linley, Evan is sitting there… when did he and Linley exchange places? Dammit, she really got sloppy.

She blinks and now he seems to have noticed that her eyes aren't closed anymore. An insecure little half-smile appears on his face. "Oh, you're… not asleep." No, obviously not. But she wishes she were because he sure as hell wants _something_ from her as well. To be honest: His mere presence alone gives her headaches because of all the questions and feelings it raises. "I just thought… But yeah, I better leave you alone, huh?"

He already turns to go and she knows she should let him but… this is the guy who risked his life and his career for her, and at least the first more than once. She owes it to him to let him sit by her side, if he wants to do that, no matter how many headaches this causes her. "Three days and you haven't been here at least _once_. You really think I'll let you off the hook that easily?"

A little surprised at her answer, he sits down again. She can also see… relief, probably that she finally is back at the slightly irreverent tone she used to address him with off-duty. And a little guilt. At what she doesn't know and she's simply too tired to ponder it anyway. "Glad to see your… charming temper didn't fully freeze off." She resists a sigh. No, it didn't. However, it'll still take her some time until she's fully herself again. He seems to have seen that as well and without giving her time for a comeback, he just leans forward and very lightly brushes the back of his index finger against her cheek… giving her the solace she has been craving for these last days. "Come on, go back to sleep, Lieutenant. I promise I'll still be here when you wake up."

God, Linley was right. They _have_ to sort this out. Just not… now. Now she'll just close her eyes and draw comfort from the quiet presence by her bed and the assurance that he'll keep to his promise to be still there when she wakes up – because he _always_ keeps his promises – and drift off to sleep again.


	45. 066 Rain

**A/N:** So, #5 of the RNT-verse pieces... With which I still feel like I went a little overboard on the drama-queening here. You'll see why ;) Anyway, **mac** and I made a discovery last night where I'm still not quite sure if it's great or just plain scary... but it sure helps with the betaing :D

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Prompt: 066 Rain

**Just forget the world**

"_If I lay here  
If I just lay here  
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?"_

_Snow Patrol, "Chasing Cars"_

He knows he shouldn't be standing here and watching her sleep. It's what stalkers and other deranged people do and he's _not_ deranged, even if there are quite a lot of people at the SGC who have started thinking the opposite… sometimes he thinks that even his team – including _her_ – have started to think that. He still very vividly remembers how she had tried to give him a wigging about getting himself in trouble with General Hammond, as weakened as she was only four days after waking up from her coma.

He also remembers Henderson's and Linley's faces when he had made it possible for Laura to get away from the confines of the infirmary by volunteering to take care of her at her home. The short conspiratory look shared between them and then the slight eye rolling didn't get past him and he's sure they _know_ that. But really… he's grounded anyway; he has _weeks_ of leave and overtime still at his disposal and _someone_ had to take care of her.

Henderson and Linley would both be too busy; since they had been temporarily assigned to other teams as soon as it was apparent that one half of SG1 would be out of commission for an indefinite amount of time. The only other friends she has also work at the SGC and he knows none of them are close enough to her that they might sacrifice spare time for her. He wasn't the only one turning away from the world outside the SGC when the relationship between government and public deteriorated to the point where it almost ceased to be salvageable. And family… as far as he knows, the only family Laura has left is her mother and something happened between them at the funeral of her father, so she was out of question as well.

Of course she could have simply stayed in the infirmary but they all knew she'd have driven all of them mad in the matter of days, as weakened as she was. So despite her protestations that she could very well do all of that alone he'd taken it upon himself to drive her home, set her down on the couch and basically keep her from violating doctors' orders. Even though she hadn't wanted to admit it, the whole ordeal had weakened her severely. For at least two weeks, basically all she had done had been sleep long hours, eat – not nearly enough, according to what the doctors had told him – and sleep some more. He'd been worried but they'd told him that it was normal for a woman of her height, weight and stature to take weeks for recuperating from only narrowly escaping death and six days of artificial coma.

Things had been going okay… he hadn't pushed her, hadn't tried to make a move… just had been there when she needed him and kept watch over her. Until… until she had started to get better, fed up with being molly-coddled… and somehow they had ended up in a huge fight _again_.

He sighs and tries to pry his eyes away from Laura. Rain is pounding on the windows of his bedroom, reminding him again of why he's still a little furious at her. The fight at her place had been bad enough that he'd stormed out of her door, again, vowing never to come back to that stupid stubborn wench. He'd really given all his time to help her, make her get better… and all she had done was giving him the feeling that he was suffocating her and belittling her capabilities. She'd appeared to be an ungrateful spoiled brat and he'd been overwhelmed by hurt pride and a bruised heart.

When he'd arrived at his own place, he'd still been erratic, walking agitatedly from one corner of the room to another, until he finally came to stand in front of the cupboard where he kept a few of the most precious pictures of his past and recent team. His eyes had fallen on a picture of Sam and again he'd found himself wishing she was here so he could ask her what the hell he could do to resolve whatever it was between him and his demolitions specialist.

But since Sam wasn't there all he could think of was plucking the phone out and switching his mobile off… practically shutting himself away from the world, from her… from his feelings that just wouldn't go away. Of course _Sam_ would have pointed out that it was no wonder they wouldn't go away if he didn't just leave her _alone_…

On the bed, there's some movement. That should be his clue to leave but… There's something about the sight of Laura in his bed, under his covers that makes it impossible for him to just turn around and lie down on his couch to try and get some sleep in this stormy and rainy night. And anyway, after the entrance Laura performed tonight… he better check up on her, just to be sure that everything is okay.

He shakes his head. Yeah, that had been something only Laura could have pulled off. Hours after he'd stormed out of her apartment, suddenly his doorbell rang. He hadn't wanted to answer but the ringing had been persistent and just to shut it _off_ he'd gone to the door… only to find a soaking wet Laura in front of it, determined to make him listen to her saying sorry, no matter how much strength the way from her place to his had cost her. In the end… he could never be angry with her for long, most of all when she took so much upon herself just to say sorry – even if he'd wanted to shout at her for being so stupid and risk her still fragile health in this way.

She stirs again and he finally admits to himself that only watching her is not enough for him. After pushing himself away from the doorframe, he makes his way over to the bed and sits down. She's his downfall, he thinks, and in more than one way. The disciplinary action against him… it's nothing to be taken lightly but when General Hammond had taken him aside and asked him if he'd do it again, he'd answered with an honest and whole-hearted yes.

And then there is this fraternization thing… and the fear of losing another friend. When he'd walked out on her after practically admitting to her that he loved her and in the week before the blizzard mission, he'd felt so stupid for placing the thing he had with her in danger for something he wouldn't ever get anyway.

He'd been ready to close himself off again, like he'd done after Sam's disappearance, but this time she hadn't even needed to come charging into his office… all she had needed to do to throw him off that track had been giving him a weak smile and complaining about his bedside manner.

The covers rustle again… but this time, it's not the unconscious movement of someone sleeping… oh crap. There all the carefully built up friendship goes again because he couldn't keep to himself… "Evan?" She sounds sleepy… a little beside herself.

He knows he should just get up again, give her the impression that he's just a figment of her imagination… but he simply doesn't have the heart to do that. "Yeah, it's me… I'm sorry, I should…"

"Don't go." That… surprises him. Even if she's still half asleep and her ramblings shouldn't mean anything because she isn't even really conscious… they _do_. Because it means that… she was probably dreaming of him, thinking of him. It makes him a little dizzy, the thought of Laura dreaming of him.

Very carefully he lies down facing her because those two simple words had an almost pleading undertone to them, as if she _needed_ him to be there. In the sparse light from outside, he can see that her eyes are half-open. "I won't."

She shudders and curls up a little more, as if she's cold. And yes, it's a little chilly in the room because one of the windows is ajar, letting in the dribbling and pounding sound of the rain and a continuous stream of cold air. He'd love to get up and shut the window to make her feel better but something tells him she wouldn't take that all too well just now. "Promise."

It's so hard, keeping from reaching out to her and gently stroking her cheeks or putting a comforting hand on hers that she has almost clenched around a corner of her pillow… just anything to make her relax again. "I do. I won't go away."

"Ever again?" What… is happening with her? That's not the Laura he knows… so insecure and dependent. Something… must be the matter with her. Something that has already started to tug at his heartstrings.

"Ever again. I'll stay. Laura… is everything okay?" She shudders again, this time more violently and he's about to shut that damn window but before he can get up, suddenly her hand is around his wrist. It's not clasping it, just lying there… but it's _ice-cold_.

"So cold, Evan… so _cold_. So much snow… make it go away." Dammit. In her head, she's back in that blizzard; reliving it… reliving that he left her behind, left her alone to die. Without thinking, he crawls under the covers, takes her shivering body in his arms, almost subconsciously whispering an apology into her hair… and then he realizes that her hands may be icy but her face is burning hot.

Dammit, he's an _idiot_. The walk through the rain, the barely restored health, the cold from the window… he should have known that her still frail immune system couldn't put up with so many things at once. He should have driven her to the SGC the moment she'd almost stumbled into his apartment, regardless of any possible protestations. He should have… he should have never run out her door, _again_.

She has curled up against him, seeking his warmth and the solace she seems to find in his presence but he knows it's vital now that he gets to a phone. Carefully and with suppressed swearing he reaches over her to grab his phone, not being able to resist a fleeting kiss on her forehead to still her erratic breathing. In hushed and urgent tone he tells the SGC to get an ambulance here ASAP, knowing full well that they are the only ones really equipped to deal with whatever has Laura in its grip, since public civilian hospitals still reel from the underfunding of the last few years.

When he has placed his call, he forces himself to stay calm, for Laura's sake. He also forces the guilty feelings and worry back to be able to concentrate on simply being there for her. It seems like hours to him – the time that he holds her feverish body close to him, with the sound of the rain and the wind filling the room until it seems to be the only thing he hears… or is that her wheezing breath and the rushing of his blood in his ears?

Finally, the sound of his doorbell rings through his home as a release. He opens the door and the paramedics take over. Again, he finds himself standing on the sidelines, forced to watch others save Laura, his hands empty and his head full of questions and emotional chaos. He's so out of it that the medic in charge has to ask him twice if he intends to stay behind or if he wants to accompany them.

For a short moment, he contemplates staying behind, just so he doesn't have to see Laura suffering again but then he meets her half-open eyes and even in her ill and weakened state, she still manages to communicate to him that she doesn't expect anything less of him than that he doesn't leave her alone again. Putting on an expression of grim determination he finally nods. That thing on the planet… was the last time he ever left her alone when she needed him, no matter what the cost.

* * *

**A/N #2: **Yeha, come on, don't tell me you don't hate me _now_...


	46. 086 Choices

**A/N:** This was _supposed_ to be the last RNT-bunny... but then **mac** came and voiced a thought I needed to get out of my head (at least in the way she voiced it) and the only chance was writing _another_ RNT-bunny (no really! It's all mac's fault!)... so watch out for other RNT-bunnies in the course of this challenge. For _now_ this is the last (since I still have other stories were people voiced a wish to see a sequel ;)). Anyway... I hope this is a satisfactory temporary conclusion to the RNT-verse stories :)

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Prompt: 086 Choices

**I broke all the rules**

"_I climbed across the mountain tops  
__Swam all across the ocean blue  
I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules  
But baby I broke them all for you  
Because even when I was flat broke  
You made me feel like a million bucks."_

_Brandi Carlisle, "The Story"_

"Are you sure you should be here, Laura?"

She tries not to be annoyed. She really, really tries because this is James Henderson – teammate, friend, surrogate big brother – asking her. _But_ it's not the first time he asked her something like this. In fact, he has asked her this at least four times in the last 30 minutes. Not to mention all the other times in the last two hours. Heaving a little sigh, she responds, "Yes, I am. And if you ask me that or anything remotely similar ever again, I'm gonna scream."

It produces a snort from Linley and a frown from Henderson, most probably because they know she means it. And really… It's been four _weeks_ since her second trip to the SGC's infirmary. Sure, she still tires much faster than before the blizzard mission and the following complications but they have told her that she's making very fast progress… _and_ this is Evan's final disciplinary hearing. There's no way she would stay at home.

"I'm just saying…" Henderson raises his hands a little defensively and she's glad they are the only people in the corridor of the court room because Henderson is still a Captain and they are all in their service uniforms and not everyone would understand why a USAF Captain yields so easily to a Marine Lieutenant.

However… she should stop glaring and snapping at the guys. In the last few weeks they haven't been around her nearly half as often as Evan but neither of them had been grounded and she also hadn't allowed them to sacrifice all their leave for her, like Evan did. Henderson and Linley both have significant others and family outside of the team whereas Evan and her… only have the team… and each other.

Now silent again, she is back to staring at the door of the court room and absentmindedly drumming her fingers on the purse in her lap. She also tries not to think about this… only having Evan, that is. In fact… that's probably what both of them had done for at least three weeks… and what made them keep each other at arm's length, even though they spent most of their days in each other's company.

God, she wishes this was finally over. Even though he hasn't said a word about it, she always knew that the disciplinary charges against him have worried and stressed out Evan and she feels so horribly guilty about all of this. If she hadn't made a move to make him talk to her, if she hadn't insisted he take part in team activities, if she hadn't kept on pestering him… he'd never have developed any feelings for her… and she would have never developed feelings for _him_.

But anyway, _her_ feelings are of no importance now, since he's on trial for challenging General Hammond's orders, just so he could save her sorry hide… even though she must have practically crushed his heart only a week before that. She knows that this is another thing she should not think about but in the end it always came back to her. And how could it not, with Evan being there for most of her days, practically 24 hours? Patiently, helpfully, encouragingly… taking care that she wouldn't overexert herself, would eat enough, wouldn't go insane with not being allowed back to duty for an unspecified amount of time. And never, _never_ making a pass at her or saying anything about the charges and how they affected him.

On the one hand she's thankful that he… "Laura." A little startled she looks down on her purse where Henderson has firmly enclosed her hand with his. Swallowing, she looks up again, into Henderson's serious face. "It's gonna be okay. He'll be cleared, don't worry." And fucking _stop_ thinking it's your fault, is the thing she can see in his eyes, _again_.

For another long moment, they're just sitting there with Henderson keeping her fingers from drumming and her looking into his face, searching for just about _any_ sign of accusation or disapproval. Then he lets go of her hand again but instead of simply going back to wait in silence with her and Linley, he says, "Laura… I know you don't want to talk about it… but Harry and I… we _really_ need to know."

She knows what's about to come now. Linley already once asked her after she woke up from her coma and she didn't give him a satisfactory answer – at least not satisfactory for _him and Henderson_ – so she already half expected this question to resurface sooner or later. Still… she swallows again. "Look, Jim…"

"At least be honest with us this time, Laura." Linley now, unusually serious. At least there's no reproachful undertone to his voice… or is there?

She takes a deep breath, not really sure what to answer them. It's not like she doesn't _want_ to be honest… it's just that she really has no idea what's going on between her and Evan, either. She thought she did – back to friendship after a week from hell – but if she's honest… that's a load of crap. _Nothing_ is like it used to be although they both try very hard to pretend. There's a new quality to everything between them, ever since he crawled into bed with her when she came down with whatever infection had hit her after stumbling through the rain.

He thinks she doesn't remember it but she does. In fact… she remembers it very well and again and again she finds herself waking up at night, craving that closeness, nearly going insane with the knowledge that he's just a phone call – or more often even only a few feet on her couch – away from her. She also has a very hard time not to just put her head down on his shoulder when they share a quiet evening or draw him towards her and comfort him with a kiss when he comes back from yet another battle with legal paper work. Only the feeling that everything between them would shatter like glass if she so much as pushed it one iota in the wrong direction keeps her from simply acting on her impulses, like she used to.

"Laura?" She blinks. Dammit. Lost in thought again. It's really time that she gets back into action. All this sitting around really isn't doing her any good.

She takes another deep breath. "It's… complicated, guys. I really wish it was easy but it just… isn't." Both Henderson and Linley look like this is _not_ the answer they anticipated or wanted. Ah hell. "Look, it's just… I don't even know myself what this is and where it's going. And I seriously doubt Evan… _Major Lorne_ has a clue about it."

Linley wants to reply something but she's saved by the court room door _finally_ opening and immediately she's at her feet… which she regrets only seconds later. A wave of dizziness comes crashing down on her making her put one hand on her forehead and the other on the bench's rail for support. Struggling to get back her footing before Evan enters the corridor, she forces herself to stand up straight again, even ignoring Henderson's helping hand. Evan was in there for two hours, just because of her. He deserves that she greets him like the proud Marine she used to be before the blizzard mission, not like the weak imitation of herself she became after it.

Thankfully, the first ones to leave the room are the judges who don't even pay real attention to the small group gathered outside the room where it was make or break for their leader. She has enough time to take a few deep breaths to steady herself and grit her teeth until General Hammond and Evan emerge from the room. For a moment, her heart flutters but she attributes it to the aftereffects of the infection she still experiences from time to time. A little anxiously she searches his face for any sign that the hearing went bad for him… but there's just barely visible relief… and a short brave smile when he catches her eyes.

A little tentatively – again, this is _really_ not like her – she takes a few steps towards him and General Hammond with Henderson and Linley closely behind her. When she's finally in earshot, the sentences from General Hammond she catches makes her curious and worries her a little, "I expect you to appear in my office tomorrow for the final paperwork, Major. And of course you'll get a proper farewell."

A… farewell? Confused she searches for Evan's eyes but he just gives her a minute shake of his head and then turns back to Hammond again, as if this tiny communication never happened. "Thank you, sir, I appreciate that." She thinks she detected a faint note of regret in his voice and really wonders what this is all about. Did they throw him out? But why the relief then? Or did she read him wrong, even after all the time they passed together?

"I know, Major. And I think it's time you tell your team the news." With that, he nods at them. "Captain, Lieutenants… please excuse me." They just nod back, all of them confused and uncomfortable and dreading whatever will come now. She realizes that Henderson and Linley must feel as guilty about everything as she does since Evan shouldered their blame as well and never pressed charges against Henderson for refusing to leave him alone for the blizzard planet.

So when General Hammond is gone again, they all turn to Evan, looking at him questioningly. Henderson even dares to say, "Sir…" but doesn't get very far because Evan holds up his hand.

"Don't worry. They let me off the hook. All charges are dismissed, thanks to General Hammond. Guess I really owe him." She expects him to continue, tell them what this farewell business is about but he… doesn't.

She was, however, never one to be patient so she can't help saying, "What's with the farewell, then?" Please don't tell me you still handed in your resignation, she nearly begs. Suddenly not having the uniform anymore, having to venture out into a world that doesn't exactly receive ex-SGC members with open arms, only associating everything bad the SGC brought over this world with them, never acknowledging that even people wearing the SGC patch could be decent and upstanding – it would destroy him, she's sure of that and she doesn't want to see him end up like Colonel Mitchell.

He takes a deep breath and rubs his neck. "Well… seems like they have found a way to get rid of me without having to throw me out." That doesn't exactly explain anything, either and she's tempted to tell him so, but he's faster than her. "I'm going to be promoted." That… that's _great_ news, isn't it?

Henderson and Linley immediately congratulate him but she just can't bring herself to do it yet because she can sense that there's more to it and that the promotion is more of a burden than a blessing. And yes, after he has accepted Henderson's and Linley's congratulations, he adds, "And I'm going to be transferred out of the SGC." Transferred out. _Transferred out_.

Again she attributes the uncomfortable lurch in her stomach to her not quite restored good health and not to the fear of losing him through a transfer to a base somewhere far away – and she's sure that it just _has_ to be as far away from the SGC as they can because he proved to be less of a good little tin soldier than they thought he was. When she looks at her two teammates, she sees part of that sentiment written on their faces as well and Evan must also have seen it because he hurries to continue, "Hey, don't worry. They wanted to transfer me to NATO headquarters in Brussels but obviously they underestimated General Hammond. I'll stay at the Mountain, just a few levels above you, as some kind of liaison officer between NORAD and the Stargate Program."

NORAD. The Mountain. Colorado Springs. He would still be there. He would still be near her. She could still call him whenever she wanted to and he would still be able to come over to her and she could still drop by his place if she felt like it.

And he wouldn't be her immediate superior anymore. In fact… he wouldn't even belong to the same command anymore. As the impact of that makes its way through her thick skull, she only stands there dumbfounded, while Henderson and Linley congratulate him again, telling him they would miss him as their team leader but that they are glad he would still be around and that this sure would be a great career leap for him and that he might find himself faster in the Pentagon than he thought…

Henderson is the first one to realize she hasn't said a thing yet and that Evan really tried to receive their congratulations with the proper attention but that all the time he was just waiting for _her_ to react to him. He nudges Linley not exactly subtly and nearly drags him away with telling him they are supposed to do "this thing". It's funny, she thinks. For being the first one to confront her with a question regarding whatever was happening between her and their CO, Linley sure is pretty slow with realizing why exactly Henderson tries to get him away from her and Evan.

When they are finally round the next bend – she could hear Linley's protests all along the corridor until they disappeared – she turns back to Evan and… the strange tension between them is back. However, today she's not in the mood to bear it for very long, so she says with a smile she hopes looks genuine, "Congratulations. You really deserved the promotion. We'll miss you as team leader, though."

"Yeah." A somewhat weary smile and she realizes that he finally lets himself show that he knows very well that the transfer and the promotion are punishment rather than the reward they should have been. Suddenly she feels very bad for him, feels his pain at being thrown out of the most prestigious program the Air Force had to offer him… practically being discarded like a dog that had been disobedient one time too many. She wants to reach out for him, take his hand, soothe his cheek; just about anything to make him feel better but all she is capable of is clenching her hands around her purse. He sighs. "It's okay, Laura. I didn't… I didn't really feel at home at the SGC for quite a while anyway. Something… just didn't fit anymore."

Something didn't fit anymore? She doesn't understand what he's talking about and all of a sudden is afraid that he's glad about the transfer because it means he doesn't have to work with her anymore, doesn't have to see her anymore… and is away from memories that still must be painful, even after all this time. She takes a deep breath. "Evan, if this is still about Major Carter…"

"It's not." It startles her how fast and how absolute this comes from him, making her suspect that at least part of this _is_ about Major Carter and she can't help but feeling a pang of jealousy at this woman who obviously once had such a big part of his life that he simply can't let go of her. The bitter thought that _she_ would _never_ be such a part of his life worms its way into her mind and makes her nearly leave the scene. Actually… actually the only thing still keeping her rooted to the spot is that he adds, "To be honest: If this _is_ about a woman… it's mostly about _you_, Laura."

About… her? What… is that supposed to mean? Does it mean that he's partly relieved about this new posting because it means he'll be away from her and the pain she must cause him or because it means he could… _they_ could… She looks at him, confounded and not quite ready to accept that suddenly there's a possibility she might get what she had been craving for so long… a lot longer than those last four weeks, as she only now realizes. He just shrugs, tries another brave smile… but still doesn't make a move.

It's as if he's _waiting_ for something… ah _hell_. The stupid corridor is empty – maybe except for Henderson and Linley who could very well still be waiting around that corner, exchanging bets on how long it will take them to just throw caution and awkwardness to the wind – and he already admitted to being in love with her anyway, so now it's her turn, isn't it? Without further thinking, she takes another step towards him, leans forward… and very tentatively touches his lips with hers.

However, the timidity doesn't last very long because as soon as her lips are on his, he responds immediately by deepening the kiss and wrapping his arms around her as she dimly registers through the whirlwind of emotions and thoughts this kiss has set in motion. It ends far too early, but yeah… oxygen had started to become an issue. She's glad he still keeps her wrapped in his arms because she's sure that if he wouldn't, she'd end up on the floor, what with her suddenly weak knees and everything.

This time, his smile is neither forced nor has it any sad or weary undertones to it. Instead, it's maybe the first full-out smile she has seen in over six months… maybe the first one she has seen ever since joining his team. He puts his forehead against hers and just can't stop smiling and that doesn't exactly help her in the weak knees department. It also doesn't help that when he finally says something, it's with a husky, pleasant voice she never heard before, "God, I thought you'd _never_ make a move."

She can't help but kissing him again before finally getting enough grip on herself again that she's fairly sure she can stand on her own. It's also the moment where she realizes that technically they're still teammates and better shouldn't be caught making out in public. And anyway… they have a _lot_ of catching up to do in the making-out department. She grins. "You know I like my big entrances and dramatics." There's an agreeing nod and a grin from him but before he can retort something which would be teasing or worse, she takes one of his hands and continues, "Come on, flyboy, it's time to get home."

"Yeah," he sighs and gives her a kiss on the forehead, "yeah, it definitely is." With that, they simply start walking down the corridor.

Before they reach the corner opposite to the one Henderson and Linley disappeared around, though, she can't help turning around and calling out, "Hey, guys, you can come out now. The squishy stuff is over." For a moment, nothing happens.

But then Linley's voice can be heard, "I _told_ you she'd never buy we'd just vanished."

"No, _I_ told _you_ she'd never buy the vanishing thing," is Henderson's immediate response, making her and Evan grin at each other. She manages to steal a very tiny kiss from him before Henderson and Linley finally appear again, still bickering with each other.

When they arrive they acknowledge the clasped hands with only so much as a quick glance and she's grateful that they spare her and Evan just another awkward scene. There'd been far too much of that in this team lately, anyway. It's Linley who speaks up first, addressing Evan, "You know that you owe us a round now, right, boss?"

Evan rolls his eyes but replies good-naturedly, "Yeah. Just don't blame me when Charlotte is pissed at you for coming home much too late again."

"Would I ever, boss?" But before they can give him the answer he deserves, Linley holds up his hands. "Okay, okay, I don't want to hear it. Keep it to yourself, right?" It provokes laughter from the rest of the team and it makes her heart soar that Evan's is real and hearty. As they finally leave the court building together, she still feels a little weak-kneed but this time she refuses to credit it to anything having to do with sickness. It's really time she starts leaving all that behind and now is as good as any time to do so.


	47. 010 Years

**A/N:** Hey, everyone... it's Kavan Smith's birthday today so I HAD to post a story :D That's the first country music bunny **mac **gave me (and I still think it was kind of perfidious to introduce me to this song... mac knows why ;))... and definitely not the last. Which is good because I can blame all my weird bunnies on her from now on :D  


* * *

Prompt: 010 Years

**Can't blame the fella**

"_She was  
Playing Cinderella  
Riding her first bike  
Bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight  
Running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin  
Dancing with her dad, looking up at him  
If he gives me a hard time__  
I can't blame the fella  
I'm the one who's stealing Cinderella."_

_Chuck Wicks, "Stealing Cinderella"_

It's not that he doesn't want to. Be nice, that is. Honestly, he does. It's more a question of not being _able_ to, despite his best efforts. The guy who's standing in front of his fireplace, looking at the pictures on the mantelpiece, with his hands in his pockets and unaware of being watched himself, is a decent man, he's sure of that.

In the last two days, he's gotten to know the man Laura brought home better and really tried to be polite, forthcoming…everything but the stereotypical father meeting the guy who'd take away another one of his little girls. He knew the moment Laura announced she'd bring home another boyfriend that it would be something more, even though she tried sounding as casual as possible in her letter so he figured he better be nice. Neither Laura nor Helen, his wife, would have been overly thrilled if he'd done the jealous father thing… _again_.

Still… He takes another look at the Major. Something must have captivated the man's attention because he still hasn't turned around. Stepping a little closer, he can now see what interests Lorne so much. It's Laura's section of the pictures on the mantelpiece and above it on the wall. Well, naturally he'd be interested in pictures from his future wife's past. Neither Lorne nor Laura have said anything in that direction yet, but from the way they behaved… it was evident that they were just waiting for the right moment to announce… _it_.

Taking care to keep his distance and not to make any noise, he throws a look at the pictures himself, although he knows them by heart from years of looking at them. Laura three days after her birth, Laura at two on Christmas Morning, a big grin on her chubby face, her big hazel eyes sparkling and Laura at five, in a fairy gown, complete with a little crown and a sparkly wand… looking thoroughly discontent with the whole arrangement. In fact, only minutes after he'd taken the picture, an unequalled tantrum had followed. That had been the last time Helen had tried to dress Laura up.

An involuntary smile appears on his face. God, his little girl… had always been a handful, from her first minutes in this world to the moment he'd fetched her and her boyfriend from the airport two days ago. Now faced with the man who is very likely to take her away from him, memories of Laura came back to him. Bloody knees after forays through the forest, tears after break-ups, overwhelming pride when he saw her graduate from high school, ROTC, college…

"She always was a lot to handle, wasn't she?" A little startled he focuses on Lorne again. The Major hadn't turned around when he spoke to him and that tells him that Lorne knew the whole time he was being watched, probably even by who. Well… figures. From the very few things Laura and her Major could tell them, he could gather that his daughter's newest boyfriend is some top-notch Special Forces soldier, 2IC of the top-secret operation both are part of. Of course such a man would never fully let his guard down, not even on leave.

Not even trying to pretend that he hadn't been watching the Major, he takes a few steps towards the fireplace, until he's standing beside Lorne. Now both of them are looking at Laura's pictures. "Yes, she was. Still is." And you better damn well treat her right; he wants to add but knows that it would sound ridiculous.

Lorne now turns to him. "Too true." On the Major's face there's a smile indicating he has a few Laura stories of his own… and that makes him strangely jealous again. For the majority of his daughter's life he'd been the one constant… boyfriends would come and go, but dad would always be there. This one, though… is here to stay, he just knows it… and there's nothing he can do about it. And dammit, there's nothing he _should_ do about it. He also went through all of that before with Megan, Laura's older sister, and he'd survived letting _her_ go… even though that had been hard.

A few more moments are passed in silence but then Lorne clears his throat. He attempts to say something, rethinks it, wants to try again… and suddenly it dawns on him why Lorne is standing in his living room, while Laura and Helen are in town, visiting Megan and her husband. He clears his throat. "You and I, we both know what you're going to ask now, Major… and you and I both know what Laura would say to that."

The Major now looks a little embarrassed and rubs his neck. "Yeah, she'd give me an earful and ask me where I was when we discussed Women's Lib in school." And she'd also give her old father an earful about making her boyfriend feel like it was necessary that he had to ask his consent for marrying his daughter. But strangely… had they just gone and done it… he would have felt resentment against the Major, even though it's their right and their right alone to decide about getting married. Lorne takes a deep breath. "So… I just won't ask you anything then, huh?"

It actually makes him smile a little, still amused about Lorne – obviously a seasoned soldier, a man in his prime who knows what he's capable of and isn't shy to show it – wanting to do the _decent_ thing and ask the father of his girlfriend for her hand in marriage, even though he _knew_ what she would say about such old-fashioned behavior. "It's better that way, yes. And I won't answer anything of course." However… he feels like he owes this guy _some_ sign of respect and grudging consent, most of all because he didn't give Megan's husband a bad time, either... well, for long. Taking another look at the pictures that show Laura, he adds, "Although… had you been stupid enough to ask… I probably wouldn't have said _no_. Left you hanging a little… but not said no."

For a moment, Lorne looks actually dumbfounded but when the full impact of what his future father-in-law just told him registers, a slow grin starts spreading out over the Major's face… and he's surprised to see relief in the Major's eyes as well. "Good to know. Thanks for hypothetically not saying no." Lorne's eyes graze a picture that shows Laura in her prom dress, looking so beautiful and happy. "Had I been stupid enough to ask and had you actually not answered no, I would of course have promised to take care of her." And again he takes a deep breath, growing serious. "I love Laura, Mr. Cadman. And not just hypothetically."

That… is more than he bargained for. It does throw him a little off track. Until now, he could pretend to himself that Lorne was just some guy that happened to have something going on with his daughter, regardless of the feeling that they would soon announce they wanted to get married. But Lorne telling him to his face and in all earnest that he loved Laura… it's something different… cementing the need to get used to the fact that from now on there will be another man in Laura's life as important as himself. It makes him speechless… and he's _very_ grateful that suddenly the front door opens and lively chatter can be heard from the hall.

Only a few moments later, the living room's door is thrown open by a glowing Laura and he feels strangely caught, even more so when Laura's radiant smile turns into a wary frown. "Uh-oh. Please tell me he didn't tell you the story of that fairy dress picture, Evan."

Lorne throws him a very short look… a little conspiratory… but then grins at Laura. "No… unfortunately he didn't."

She has reached them now and gives him a light whack on the arm. "Just for that you won't _ever_ get to hear it now. Isn't that right, dad?"

"Yes, of course." Laura's face turns into that smug face she always put on when she had successfully wrapped him around her little finger. However… he owes Lorne something for being considerate enough not to leave him out of the loop on the whole question of engagement. "I was thinking more along the lines of digging out some old videos anyway."

"You wouldn't dare!" Dread mingled with indignation appears on her face, making him grin because she still looks like the little ten-year-old Laura who just realized her sister was about to tell her dad that she still needed a nightlight to fall asleep, just to spite her.

He can't help grinning and walking over to the cupboard where they keep all their home videos. "Watch me." Laura charges him and while they playfully wrestle over who gets first to the cupboard, he throws Lorne another look… silently acknowledging what the Major's admission indicated. Yeah, he would probably have to give away his little girl at some point not that far into the future… but at least now he's sure he can do it knowing he gives her to the right man.


	48. 009 Months

**A/N:** Okay, do you remember "Who?", the first AMCM-piece? I did and I also remembered that a few of you were beg... asking for a sequel. And because I'm an equal opportunity writer, I decided to write _three_ sequels, i.e. one where she took Lorne, one where she took Carson... and one where she didn't take any of them. Here's the one where she took Lorne (and which **mac** said made her want to... ah no, that would be telling ;)).

* * *

Prompt: 009 Months

**The city calls your name**

"_It's just that everywhere I go all the buildings know your name  
Like photographs and memories of love  
Steel and granite reminders  
The city calls your name and I can't move on."_

_Savage Garden, "The Lover After Me"_

It's been a few months now and he knows he should really start to get over it all. Or at least make up his mind if he's going to stay in Atlantis or not. Or – even _better_ – finally acknowledge that he needs to get away from this city as far as he can… not only one galaxy, but maybe _two_ of them. At least. It wouldn't be as bad if it was just about avoiding her and him – he still has a hard time saying their names in his head – but it's about so much more.

It's about this whole bloody city that won't him let stop thinking about her, about the wedding that never happened, about his inability to let go. She's everywhere – in the infirmary, on the balconies, in the jumper bay… even on the mainland. And it's not only _her_ that is everywhere, it's _them_. The corridor where they kissed for the first time, the mess hall where they passed endless hours of conversation, the pier where he proposed…

God, how he wants to be happy for her, to accept that she chose someone else, to acknowledge that she knew very well what she did to him and that she never wanted to hurt him. It's just that… he still doesn't really get it. Was it his fault it had to come to this? Because now, months after the wedding that never was, he is starting to admit to himself that he should have seen it earlier… that he _saw_ it earlier but turned a blind eye on the _thing_ between Major Lorne… and his Laura.

He'd wanted so hard to believe that Laura was his again and that they could do it right this time that he willfully blanked out what everyone else apart from the three of them saw. If he's honest, he should have confronted her with it and forced her to make a _real_ decision, not just take the easy way out. Instead he had proposed, even though an evil voice in the back of his mind had whispered to him that things had changed and that she just accepted because she didn't dare considering taking the rocky road of non-frat reg violation… because he was the safe bet, the terrain she knew.

She had tried to explain to him that it was her, not him… and that she _knew_ she caused him a _lot_ of pain… had apologized for it a thousand times and told him that it was still better like this. It might hurt now, she'd said, but it's better like this than how it would have been if she had married him. She said she always would have wondered if it was really the right decision, questioned their marriage, wondered if she was living a lie… and that he would have noticed it and been unhappy as well.

And the worst thing is: She's probably right. When he sees her now with Major Lorne, he sees her genuinely happy, radiating off a glow she was missing when they were together, despite everything she went through with the Major to keep their relationship from ruining their careers. It hurts to see that he could never give her what the Major gives her, no matter how hard he tried. He just can't stop wondering what _exactly_ it is that he doesn't have, even though he knows obsessing about it is a bloody bad idea.

So he keeps avoiding them, burying himself in work, putting off his final decision on leaving Atlantis ad infinitum although he _knows_ he should get away from here as fast as he can, if he ever wants to get over her. It's just that… leaving would feel like giving up, surrendering, finally admitting his defeat. In a corner of his mind he still harbors the hope that she _might_ realize she made the wrong decision and come back to him, even though it's ridiculous and borders on self-humiliation. Even if she did, he should never take her back, just for leaving him standing at the altar and the shame and hurt he felt at that.

But she won't do it anyway. When he can't get around it and has to see her with Major Lorne, he knows without fail that nothing will get between those two, no matter how heated their fights can be. Maybe… maybe that's their secret. Laura and him… they never had any real fights, mostly because in the end he usually gave in, careful not to endanger the relationship by antagonizing stubborn and impulsive Laura. He has seen Laura and Major Lorne fight twice, both times by accident, and both times they didn't cut each other any slack. And they are still going strong… stronger than he and Laura ever were.

He sighs. It's really no use staying in Atlantis, no matter how often he has told her and himself he's okay with everything. He's not and maybe he'll never be, and he just decided that it's finally enough. Resolutely, he gets up, puts his tray away and heads for his quarters. He really, _really_ has to write that transfer request… regardless if it feels like giving up or not. Sometimes… giving up on things is better than stubbornly holding on to them, most of all when they're bad for you. In fact… that's what Laura did and it made her happy. It's time he gets back some of that happiness as well.


	49. 021 Friends

**A/N:** So here we go with the next possible outcome for "Who". This time Laura took Carson, and it's Lorne's turn to be miserable. Or something ;) Anyway, anyone who wants to comfort him: Remember that **mac **practically subcribes to "Dibs On Comforting Lorne".

* * *

Prompt: 021 Friends

**Something that never really had a name**

"_So maybe I shouldn't have called__  
Was it too soon to tell?  
Oh what the hell  
It doesn't really matter  
How do you redefine something that never really had a name?  
Has your opinion changed?"_

_Savage Garden, "I Don't Know You Anymore"_

There it is. The name on the doorbell that still makes his throat constrict, even after more than a year. It makes him feel like this was a very bad idea, and it probably _is_. It's just that… he has to be here. He put it off for over a year and it hasn't done him any good. He has no idea how she will react to seeing him here, after everything. The last time they talked had been shortly before she got married to Carson Beckett… a wedding he never saw because suddenly the pain had been too cutting and he had taken off almost right after he'd found her in the small room in the parsonage where she had gotten ready to marry.

After that he had been on leave for three weeks and when he'd been back in Atlantis, they had already moved to Earth so he never saw her again. He also never talked to her again, never answered her letters and e-mails. The pain when he saw _Laura Beckett_ as the sender's name had been bad enough for him to throw them away and delete them unread. There was also a certain feeling of shame that he left her alone on one of the most important days in anyone's life, just because he was too weak to stomach seeing her getting married to someone else.

He'd been her friend, dammit, and friends don't leave you on your wedding day. They are happy for you, congratulate you and tease you about the wedding night. But the thought alone of seeing her tying the knot with someone else had been heartbreaking enough that the ache had been almost physical and he had felt like he would never make it out alive of the church if he sat through the whole ceremony.

With a sigh, he stares at the nametag again. It hurts to think that behind the name _Beckett_ there are two people now, not one. But he had to come here… if only to see that she is still happy, that it was right to never make a real move and leave her for Carson… that he's over her. It's really easy, he thinks. Just press the doorbell, wait until someone answers…

But how does he know if she even wants to talk to him? If he was her… "Evan?"

Startled, he turns around to see her standing in front of him, with a bag of food in one hand and the keys to the apartment house in the other. She's wearing jeans and a t-shirt, her hair is in a ponytail. On her face there is something between disbelief and surprise. "What… are you doing here?" Everything is back. The accelerated heart rate, the lump in his throat, the block on his mind.

He rubs his neck, trying to stall until he can come up with an answer that is casual enough that she won't suspect any of the chaos in his heart and mind. "I was just… in the neighborhood, you know, and…" He breaks off, his voice failing.

For a moment, there's silence between them and he can see conflicting emotions racing over her face. Still as open as a book to him. There's hurt and anger and disappointment… and joy and relief, although she tries to contain it and hide it behind all the negative emotions. She wants to say something, starts several times, looks away… and finally settles with, "There's a lot of things I could and should say now, but the thing is… I missed you."

He could and should say a lot of things now as well but she'd see through his pretense anyway, like she always has seen through his pretenses. "I missed you, too."

She looks away again, her lips pressed tightly together. He has made her unhappy with coming here and regrets it. He's sure that she'll now tell him he should have never come here, should have stayed away… "Then why did you just leave? Why did you never write back? Dammit, Evan, you were my best friend and I _needed_ my best friend this last year." Furious, she wipes the hand with the keys over her face and he's surprised to see tears running down. What… what the hell happened in that year that it's still strong enough to make her cry in public?

"Laura, I…" She shakes her head, still looking distressed.

"No, look, it's okay. I… I hurt you and I shouldn't have… I'm sorry. It's just that… last year…" He was selfish, he sees that now. Not opening her letters or reading her e-mails… If he had been strong enough, he would have known what had happened and would have been there for her, no matter if she was married and no matter how much it hurt reading about her life as Mrs. Beckett.

It's not her who has to be sorry… it's him. He could have made his move and he never did. Instead he abandoned her, left her alone with whatever she couldn't solve with Carson. He swallows. It's time he stops to think of himself and starts thinking of her again. Tentatively, he takes a step towards her and gently pries the bag of food out of her arm. "Tell me about it over a cup of coffee?"

For a moment, he's afraid she might say no, tell him Carson is about to come home – although that wouldn't keep him away anymore anyway because he now knows that the sooner he starts acknowledging this part of her life, the sooner he will be able to cope with it – but in the end she just nods and says, "It's gonna take a while, though."

Swallowing again, he can bring himself to a shaky smile. "Don't worry; I've got all the time in the world."

Mirroring his shaky smile, she finally sets to unlock the front door and invites him in. Hopefully, this time around, he won't mess up being her friend again.


	50. 089 Work

**A/N:** And here we go with alternative sequel to "Who?" #3, where Laura takes... well... no one of the two. And, following **mac**'s invaluable beta advice: Language warning, people because there are _some_ spots where I got carried away maybe just a little...

* * *

Prompt: 089 Work

**Go your own way**

"_Hold your own  
Know your own name  
And go your own way_

_And everything will be fine."_

_Jason Mraz feat. James Morrison, "Details in the Fabric"_

Feeling uncomfortable she nearly squirms in her chair, trying at least not to look like she doesn't want to be here. Opposite to her, Sheppard takes his time with going through her file and her request. He doesn't look at her and it's quiet in the room, apart from the occasional sound of rustling paper when Sheppard turns over another page. She thinks she can almost hear his thoughts.

It's another reason why she knows she has to go and it's another thing that's really weighing her down. She looks down on her hands, is almost shocked at how nervously her fingers are moving and forces herself to stop it. There's nothing to be nervous about. She's here because she has made a decision; the only possible decision she could have made under the given circumstances. Probably for the first time in her life she has made a really grown-up decision, carefully weighing the pros and cons, thinking more of others than of herself, bearing the consequences of her actions four weeks ago.

But that doesn't change the fact that she's fucking _miserable_. She feels the tears that already annoyed her when finally writing that request coming back and starts cursing Sheppard for prolonging her misery like that. When Sheppard finally looks at her again, she's almost ready to lose her nerve. He scrunches his forehead. "Are you sure about this, Captain?" Dammit, she knew this question would come but she had hoped it wouldn't have come quite so early. Instead she would have liked to have the chance to talk herself into self-assuredness… to avoid what's happening now: she's second-guessing her decision.

She takes a deep breath. "Yes, sir, I am." No, sir, she isn't. But it's the only way to make up for what happened in Scotland, four weeks ago. She broke Carson's heart and in a way she also broke Evan's heart… and she broke her own heart but she refuses to give importance to that.

Sheppard doesn't look very convinced. "You know… you can still take this back, Captain. It would be a great loss for the Expedition if you left." She doubts that. Or at least she doubts that for two members of this Expedition. By now she's sure that Evan and Carson would be better off with her gone.

"I appreciate that, sir. However…" She takes another deep breath, "sometimes… sometimes there are things that develop bigger dynamics than one expected." Sheppard throws her a look that tells her that he's almost surprised at how well she could euphemize what happened at her supposed wedding and afterwards.

He presses his lips together and nods. "Believe it or not, Captain… but I know very well what you're talking about." What he doesn't say is, "But I don't run away from it." She wishes he had because that would have given her a reason to step back from her decision.

But then she remembers Carson's quiet suffering and Evan's stone-faced determination to treat her solely as a subordinate and she knows why she has to leave Atlantis. "I do believe you, sir." And it's true since she was here before Elizabeth Weir disappeared and she sees day in day out what seeing Teyla with Torren and Kanaan does to him.

Her CO throws her a rather wary look but doesn't comment any further. Instead he takes a deep breath himself, wants to say something… and shakes his head. After wiping a hand over his face and giving a low frustrated… growl he shuts her file, shoves it away and leans on his desk, "Okay, Cadman, this is stupid. You and I… we both know that you're not leaving because you 'have reached your potential here' and are seeking a posting that offers you 'career options that are better suited to you.'."

Dammit. She knew he'd never buy the reason for leaving she put in her request. She just never expected him to _act_ on it. "Sir, I…" He raises his eyebrows. "I just felt that I needed… I…" She falters, hating herself for that. But there's just something in his scrutinizing look that makes her unable to lie to him.

He leans back, shaking his head again. "Who are you trying to kid, Cadman?"

She wants to answer… but can't. Instead of whatever lie she had wanted to dish out to him, she finally says, defeated, "Mostly myself, sir."

With the faintest of smirks, Sheppard nods. "Thought so." He runs a hand through his unruly hair and leans forward again, now something of a resigned look on his face. "Now that we cleared this up… mind telling me why you _really_ want to leave?"

She has the distinct feeling that he knows _exactly_ why she wants to be as far away from Atlantis as possible… he'd been _there_, after all. But she also has the distinct feeling that he still wants to hear it from _her_. Now she leans back in her seat and her hand wanders to the tip of her pony tail, twisting it while she answers, still a little reluctant. "I think… I think my staying here would… not be beneficial for the…"

"Dammit, Cadman!" Sheppard's hand slams down on his desk and the bang makes her jump – which only tells her _how_ screwed she is, considering bangs are part of her job description. "Just fucking _stop_ this formal bullshit."

This… surprises her. Sheppard was never the typical CO, even for a zoomie. And that's why she's so perplexed by his hefty reaction. It confuses her so much that she's speechless for a moment. Then she tries a tentative, "Sorry… sir?"

He nods, still fuming. "Yeah, you better." Then he sighs. "Look, Captain… you're one of my most trusted officers, you could have your own team next time the _Daedalus_ arrives with fresh troops, you're number one on the list for the next head of the explosions lab… do you really want to throw the towel for a broken heart?"

"Three broken hearts, sir," she quietly contradicts him, not caring anymore if this is too personal or not. At least it's openly on the table now.

"Right. Three broken hearts." The look in Sheppard's eyes indicates that he knows how great the strain is that this takes on Evan and Carson… which is why she doesn't understand why he's so intent on keeping her in Atlantis. Doesn't he see how much Evan suffers from seeing her each day, not together with Carson but still too far out of his reach, because of several reasons? And doesn't he see how Carson suffers because he's caught between reliving the day she stood him up before the altar over and over again and hoping she might come back to him?

Another deep breath. "Sir… to put it blankly: Major Lorne and Dr. Beckett don't show their usual performance. They… are unhappy with the current situation and put this before their duty. Someone… someone had to make a decision. And that someone had to be me."

What she doesn't say is that it's not only about Evan and Carson suffering but about _her_ suffering as well. She's sick of seeing Carson and being speechless because she always feels like apologizing and at the same time doesn't know how to apologize for what she did to him. She also doesn't want to see Evan anymore, always wanting to talk to him like they used to but too afraid of what might happen between them if they did… she _knows_ that the only way to get over these confusing and frightening feelings is to be away from Evan and Carson.

Sheppard looks at her, thoughtful now… and that makes her afraid that again she'd been too easy to read, that he knows what's going through her mind… "I'll be honest with you, Cadman: Letting you go will be a great loss. I also think… you'll regret it. What you wrote there… that's just bullshit. You know as well as I that the conditions here for your scientific success as well as your development as an officer are the best you can get." She's quiet now because she has never heard him talk like this before… like a _real_ CO.

She's also quiet because essentially… Sheppard's right. She has told everyone – including herself – that she wants to go back to Earth to go back to school, get her PhD and that _now_ is the right time for that. But deep down she knows that this is just an excuse. If she were honest, she knew very well that she could achieve all of that in Atlantis as well, maybe even better than at any university. However… it all comes back to her and Evan and Carson and the frightening tangle that is everything between them.

Her CO looks like he has seen it working inside of her head and now seems to find a point where to cut in again. "Look, Cadman… I do see what's happening between you and your two guys," she wants to cut in and remind him that neither of them is _her_ guy but he doesn't let her, "but I also don't want to lose a very valuable officer forever. So… how about something in between?"

She feels herself raising her eyebrows. "Sir?"

He grins a little. What's so amusing, she thinks and feels irritation coming up. "I got a suggestion. You get your request approved." At that she wants to thank him but obviously he isn't finished yet. "_But_ only if you agree to reconsider it after a defined amount of time. Pick anything between six months and a year, but pick _something_. And _mean_ it, Captain. I'll personally check that you did." Argh, is she really that easy to see through? "If you decide then that you still don't want to come back… fine. But if you decide you _do_ want to come back, there will be a spot open for you."

She wants to ask him how he can be so sure about that but for some reason she has the feeling that if Sheppard promises something like that he will do everything to keep to this promise. And that he would be honestly offended if she openly doubted it. So she bites her lip and forces herself to really consider his offer. Basically… it means that he forces her to confront the issue with Evan and Carson. Either confront it now… or in a few months… but confront it, she must.

Six months to a year… that's a lot of time and a lot could happen in that time. Carson – and Evan as well, which gives her another unsuspected stab – could find another woman to be happy with, she could find another man… and she doesn't even want to think about some of the _other_ things that could happen to either of them in the course of that year. Still… she knows with all her heart that she has to go now, as hard as it may be. And if her only way to that is taking Sheppard's offer of rethinking her decision in a few months… then so be it.

She straightens up and Sheppard gives her a look that says "Well?" After clearing her throat she finally feels ready to answer, "I think I can live with that, sir."

Does she detect a certain amount of _smugness_ on his face? "Fair enough. You'll leave in two weeks."

The first thing she feels at that is an unbelievable amount of relief… immediately followed by a wave of sadness at having to leave behind the city, the galaxy… and countless friends like Teyla, Jennifer, Maureen… and Evan and Carson. As good as it is that she won't run into them anymore, she also knows she'll miss both of them terribly. But she has made her decision, Sheppard has approved her request… there's no turning back now. "Thank you, sir."

He nods, still looking a little like he's disappointed that she decided against staying here. "Just remember that I'll check back on that promise you made." She nods, knowing that he _would_, no matter how the circumstances may have changed by then. "Well then… dismissed, Captain."

She stands up; ready to leave… but shortly before she reaches his door he adds as an aside, "I sure hope you'll say your proper goodbyes to Major Lorne and Dr. Beckett. They both deserve as much."

Yeah, right. Of course. She sighs. "Yes, sir. Of course, sir." Sheppard just nods and she's finally free to go… and even though she'd resolved she would treat Sheppard's clauses as an irritating addendum she should simply ignore as long as she could… she already has started to ponder if and how and when she would and could return to Atlantis as she's on her way to her quarters to start packing.


	51. 088 School

**A/N: **Originally, I'd planned another story to be #51 but since **Elaine** asked for something a little lighter, I give you now a companion piece/sequel to "Children" (the one with the Marines at the mental age of ten, remember?). This time it's Laura's job to do some babysitting... let's see how that turns out. Oh, and like **mac** pointed out: Language warning for this. Really, I mean it.

* * *

  
Prompt: 088 School

**All about chemistry**

"_All about chemistry  
Won't you show me everything you've learned  
I'll memorize everything you do to me so I can  
Teach it when it comes my turn."_

_Semisonic, "Chemistry"_

"Are you sure you know what you're doing, Lieutenant?" He looks at the woman beside him and she gives him a _look_, promising torture and other unpleasant things if he continues asking her stuff like that. But then again… he _is_ her superior.

"Yes, I do. Sir. I'm just not sure if _they_ know what they're doing." With a jerk of her head she gestures towards the people from various Atlantis departments – most of them civilians, organized in groups, fumbling around with… well… detonators and fuses.

"Uh… just to check if I got this correct… aren't _you_ responsible for them?" Is that a very low growl he just heard from her?

"Yes, sir. Unfortunately, this time, I _am_." He can't help grinning at that, remembering their _very_ memorable babysitting experience with the Marines. They all claim that they don't remember anything but whenever Branson crosses his path he can see the Lieutenant blush. Just very faintly, but it's there.

However… "Yeah, well, it's a dirty job… but someone's gotta do it. And isn't dirt a Marine's best friend anyway?" Oh wow, it surely can't be a good thing when a Marine proficient with explosives shoots you a look like _that_. But it's just too much fun to rattle Lieutenant Cadman… and get back a little at her for making him tell the Marines a scary bedtime story.

"You know, sir…" Whatever Cadman had wanted to throw at his head, it gets cut short by a moderate _boom_ and she starts running in that direction, swearing under her breath. By now he should know better but it always surprises him how a mouth that nice can spout such _filthy_ stuff. "Dammit, Zelenka! I _told_ you not to touch that!"

Grinning he leisurely walks over to where Cadman is just a few inches short of exploding herself and Zelenka is heaping gibberish on her head… most probably Czech swearing. The other civilians from Zelenka's group look a little guilty – most of all the Indian girl from Human Resources who'd managed to get out of this compulsory explosions class for civilian members of the Expedition twice already. But Zelenka doesn't exactly sound like he thinks he did something wrong.

He keeps ranting at Cadman who in turn looks more and more like she's considering using her sidearm to shut him up. Well… better step in now before one of them does something they will regret. He clears his throat but the two squabblers don't seem to hear him. Yeah… that was to be expected. He makes a second attempt and in the very short moment they actually stop bitching at each other, he manages to step in. "Now, now, children… let's stop this before someone starts to cry and no one wants to be responsible for that, huh?"

Oh great, that _look_ again. He sure hopes Cadman still knows who's the Major and who's the Lieutenant here. For some reason, he can almost hear her thoughts… "Yeah, because you're such a _competent_ babysitter, sir." or something like that, he's positive about that. What she _says_, though, is, "No one's gonna cry here, sir… as long _everyone_ keeps to the rules I gave out at the beginning of _each and every_ of the last two days here." With that she shoots daggers at Zelenka who just keeps staring back.

"No one will cry if this… this… koza stops her… nadávání, Major." Wow, Zelenka must be _really_ pissed if he has difficulties keeping to English. The thing is… it didn't actually _help_ in pacifying Cadman. She's really starting to scare _him_.

"Alright, that's enough, Mini-McKay. If you gotta insult me, insult me in _my_ language, okay? And _fucking keep your fingers away from the fucking detonat_…" Again, there's a _boom_, not as loud and destructive as the last one but… big enough to cover Cadman all over with mud, grass and… _green_ smoke? Oh God, he thinks while the smoke clears to leave behind a fuming Laura Cadman, don't laugh. If you value your… masculinity, just _don't_ laugh now.

He takes a few calming breaths but before he gets to say _any_thing, Cadman throws her arms in the air, exasperated. "This is it. I quit. This is the last time _ever_ I'll teach any of you. You don't listen to my rules, you always know everything better than I do, you think you won't need this anyway… you don't even insult me in my own fucking language!" While she'd been ranting she'd walked a few steps and now she turns around again, looking quite determined. "_You_ are on your own now. Next time someone tries to take over the city… don't come running to _me_ to blow that guy up!"

With that, she stalks off towards the jumpers, ruthlessly brushing shrubbery out of her path. For a second, he, Zelenka and the rest of the group stare at her, a little dumbfounded that such a small woman could make such a loud exit but then he realizes that _someone_ should do something about this. He sighs and turns back to Zelenka. "I'll talk to her."

The Doc looks mighty pleased now but before he can utter something in that regard, he adds, "And you keep from touching anything here, all of you. Khan?" The Indian girl pipes up, looking a little like a deer in headlights.

"Yes, sir?" He jerks with his head to the crate that belongs to Zelenka's team.

"Make sure no one touches the detonators or anything else in that crate. If I hear just one more boom from this group… I'll let Lieutenant Cadman show you how Marines take care of sloppy soldiers." She gulps visibly.

But then she nods, looking surprisingly determined. "Yes, sir." He knows it's risky to make _her_ of all people the keeper of the crate but he just has this feeling… that she'll defend it with her life if the price for losing it is a training unit with Cadman. Satisfied he nods and then walks off in the direction the Lieutenant vanished.

And yeah, he does find her where they parked the jumpers, pacing like a caged tiger. Very carefully and _very_ reluctant, he approaches her… much like he would approach a live nuke. She doesn't see him for another moment and he could _swear_ she mumbled something under her breath. When she does see him, the first thing that appears on her face is irritation and then… embarrassment. She gives him a little nervous smile. "You don't happen to have a cigg, huh?"

He just raises his eyebrow enquiringly. Cadman and smoking? "Well, uh… I don't smoke. I mean… not anymore. I… I used to in college, whenever I was, you know, nervous or pissed off and… uh… right, I'll just… stop talking." Now he has difficulties holding back a smile. Seeing her so flustered and a little contrite after her rather massive outbreak is… just a bit cute.

But at the repentant look she gives him then, he just _has_ to smile at her, if only because the look and the greenish face are comical as well as just a little bit adorable. "All cooled off again, Lieutenant?"

She rubs her neck. "Yeah, uh… mostly, I think." She looks away, back into the direction where Zelenka's team is supposed to be keeping their hands away from anything explosive and where it is indeed quiet… almost _too_ quiet. "But I still… I have to be honest, sir. Permission to turn this job over to someone else?"

There's something in her request… that makes him almost feel sorry that he felt a little bit of satisfaction at her misfortune with the civilians and their endeavors into C4-land. He sighs. "Lieutenant…"

She holds up her hand. "No, please, sir, hear me out. I'm just… not the best of teachers, at least not with civilians. I mean, teaching Marines is easy but I just can't yell at these people or make them do push-ups or run laps when they do the same thing wrong over and over again. Sorry to say so but… you might want to find someone better suited for this."

He can see that it cost her a lot to tell him she basically messed up something she should excel at and that it really _hurts_ her having to admit it to her superior. And because he sees that and understands her… he's determined to give her a second chance without actually telling her it's a second chance. He raises his eyebrow again. "I thought you once tamed eight-year olds?"

She sticks out her tongue in irritation. "Compared to Atlantis civilians… coaching eight-year olds is a _cake walk_, sir. And the eight-year olds didn't have anything that could go "boom", you know." That nearly makes him smile again because she scrunches her nose in such a nice way.

"True." Okay, so the eight-year olds didn't work… but maybe something else will. "But you don't really want to surrender to a bunch of civilians, right? I mean, _I_ didn't surrender to a bunch of Marines the mental age of ten."

Come on, he thinks, you're an ambitious soldier. You don't want to see yourself bested by a _zoomie_, Major or not. And yes… after a moment she says reluctantly, "Yeah. Yeah, I know, sir."

Now a little balm on her wounded pride… "And you also know whose merit that is, right?"

That actually makes her blush a little… well, actually it makes her blush enough that he can see it through the green the smoke left behind. "Um…"

Well, that's a yes… at least he presumes that. "Thought so. Now, come on, show them what Marines are made off."

She sighs in resignation and raises her hands. "Alright. Fine."

_Now_ he allows himself a grin. "That's the spirit, Lieutenant!" He just _barely_ refrains from clapping her on the shoulder.

"Yeah, but I ain't taking responsibility for anything _Zelenka_ does." There's still a disgruntled undertone in her voice but he can already see that indeed he did spark her ambition and her determination.

He nods. "Fair enough. Oh, and… Lieutenant?"

It's her turn now to raise her eyebrow. "Sir?"

"You need help to get that stuff off your face?"

The eyebrow even rises a little higher. "What, you volunteering, sir?"

Oh. Oh, damn. She got that totally wrong. _Totally_ wrong. It wasn't supposed to sound like that… and great, now he feels _himself_ blushing… and he's very aware of the fact that there is no green in _his_ face to hide that. "Not… exactly. But I could help you find something to do the cleaning, if that's any help. I'm… uh… I'm sure I have something with me…"

"Thank you, sir." The smile she gives him is both disarming and encouraging and he's really grateful that the only thing she adds is, "Guess we better get back to the civilians… or else one of them might accidentally blow up the mainland."

"Yeah," he says, still relieved she let his little slip go uncommented, "you go get'em… Coach Cadman."

It makes her grin and even laugh. "Not without your help… Major Scary." Another surge of relief washes over him, this time because he just realized he actually managed to diffuse the bomb that can be Laura Cadman – something not many men have accomplished before. And that… has to count for something, hasn't it?


	52. 032 Sunset

**A/N:** Well... today it's Memorial Day in the US and after a hint by **mac** I decided to bring this story online today, in honor of this day. It's _really_ sad (as in character death sad) so you may want to have the tissues ready. I promise I have some lighter stories still in storage but for some reason I still needed to write this story.

* * *

Prompt: 032 Sunset

**I'll carry you home**

"_As strong as you are, tender you go.  
I'm watching you breathing for the last time  
Song for your heart  
But when it is quiet  
I know what it means and I'll carry you home  
I'll carry you home."_

_James Blunt, "Carry you home"_

She doesn't want to be here. Even though it's California and it's a lazy sunny evening and there are a million places worse where she could be… it doesn't change the fact that she feels horrible. She wishes she could attribute it to her stiff and hot Dress Blues and the tie that seems to strangle her or the unfamiliar shoes that make it impossible to take a step without feeling blisters developing.

But she simply can't get over the reason for why she's here in the first place. It's been a few days now but it still feels unreal somehow, even though the dog tags and the letter in her purse _are_ painfully real. So real, in fact, that she almost feels like they are so heavy that the strap of her purse cuts into her shoulder.

All of this together – the uncomfortable Dress Blues, the shoes that make walking nearly impossible, the imagined weight dragging her down – make her walk through this San Francisco suburb rather slowly. Or at least that's what she tries to tell herself, to pretend that it's not the feeling that as long as she hasn't delivered those two items, everything didn't happen.

It's ridiculous and she knows it. Really, _she_ of all people should know that all of this _did_ happen. She was there. And how she still wishes she wasn't. How she still wishes she wasn't the last person he saw… the person that held him until he took his last breath. Maybe, if she hadn't been… she wouldn't have been forced to be the one walking up to his parents' house.

Alright, yeah, that's just a load of crap. Even if she hadn't refused to leave him behind to die all alone on that god-forsaken planet, she would have been the one to carry his dog tags home. They were friends and he'd once, in a weak moment, asked her to do it and she'd promised it without hesitation. Part of the reason why she hadn't hesitated had been… in her mind Major Lorne was invincible and she firmly believed she wouldn't be required to fulfill this promise anyway.

As it had turned out… sometimes it only takes one carefully placed bullet to bring down even the best officer. The moment he went down… will forever be etched into her mind. The almost surprised face, the horror that set in when he'd realized he'd never make it back to the 'Gate, the final resignation only moments before his eyes broke… She stops to take a few deep breaths to keep herself from crying. She had done enough of that ever since the realization that he'd never come back had gotten through to her.

All through the memorial service on Atlantis she'd cried silently, all the way through the 'Gate, carrying his casket, all the way on the plane from Colorado Springs to San Francisco… yes, it's enough now. He's not the first friend she lost – not even the first one she lost in the Pegasus Galaxy – and he deserves that she carry the message and his dog tags home with all the dignity and poise one could expect from an officer of the United States Marine Corps.

It's just that… the pain won't go away. It's almost worse than the pain when Carson died, even if she's ashamed to admit it. She'd tried to tell herself that it's still too fresh to have waned already and that of course with time it will grow fainter until it's just a memory that will diffusely hurt from time to time – like an old scar from an injury long ago would sometimes hurt when the weather was acting weird.

But somehow she knows deep down that this is just wishful thinking. Of all the friends she had in the Pegasus Galaxy, Major Lorne – Evan – was the last one she expected to return home in a casket. He was like a rock for her, always there, always returning from missions in one piece – sometimes a little banged up, but he'd always get back on his feet eventually. It was like… as long as Evan was there; things weren't as bad as they could be.

And who will now laugh with her and keep her from getting homesick? Who will tease her about all the guys from the geek squad that have tried to make a pass at her? Who will help her cope with difficult missions? She _misses_ him so much and somehow that tells her that _this_ scar will always be fresh, no matter if she will find a new best friend someday or not. No one will ever be able to fill this void and that prospect kind of terrifies her.

However… she has to buck up now or she will mess up presenting his dog tags to his parents in the way he deserves. She has reached the address they gave her… and the sun has nearly set. The day's heat still lingers on and suddenly she wishes for Chicago thunderstorms or New England drizzle instead of a clear, warm California summer night. It would have suited the occasion so much better.

She has learned, though, that Fate isn't exactly her friend and that she should start accepting it instead of struggling with it and so she straightens her jacket one last time, smoothes her skirt and walks up to the house. She rehearses her text – sounding as official as possible so as not to make her start crying again – in her head one last time, hesitates just for a second and then presses the door bell.

For a moment, nothing happens and a part of her wants to turn tail immediately, but then the door is opened by a middle-aged woman with Evan's blue eyes… and the official text in her head is gone. Instead, all she can say is, "I'm sorry, Ma'am." and the moment she sees realization dawning on his mother's face… her tears are back again.

She hates them because they embarrass her and stain her uniform and make her look like a sissy in front of people who deserve her respect and so she expects his mother to look down on her because she's the only one allowed to feel such pain, but to her surprise… his mother wordlessly takes a step aside and opens the door a little wider for her. And she realizes that she finally found someone she can share her pain with… and whom _she_ can comfort… and why it was her and her alone Evan had wanted to bring his dog tags home.


	53. 077 What

**A/N:** So after all the AUs... we finally have something that actually takes place on Atlantis again. It's a little two-parter and totally **mac**'s fault (seriously, it is!). Blame her for the wackyness that's about to descend on you ;)

* * *

Prompt: 077 What?

**Know when to run**

"_You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,  
Know when to walk away and know when to run.  
You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table.  
There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done."_

_Kenny Rogers, "The Gambler"_

Why did he let himself be persuaded so easily? By now he should really know to be far, far away as fast as he can whenever Colonel Sheppard gives an idea the attribute "Hey, it's gonna be fun!" _Most_ of all when Sheppard's superhero complex is thrown in the matter… like this time, for example: Just the two of them, taking on four Marines. "Hey, come on, three girls and a medic. That's gonna be a cake walk!"

Cake walk, his ass. He really tried to talk Sheppard out of it, pointing out that Captain Reece could talk you into nearly anything if she really tries and that Captain Cadman can blow up whole buildings without breaking a sweat. He also took care to remind Sheppard that he saw Sergeant Mehra's outstanding performance on that planet with the eyeless wonders Michael created himself and that Sergeant Meyers isn't _just_ a medic but rather happens to have advanced medical training, along sharpshooting and desert warfare. None of that made any impact, though and because of that he now has to win a sophisticated game of "Capture the Flag" against a team of highly capable Marines with only his slightly crazy CO as a partner.

Okay, so, _officially_ it's an exercise in stealth, resourcefulness and tactics but when you cut all the official military language, euphemisms and paraphrasing it's good old summer camp "Capture the Flag", although only with one flag. It's planted somewhere deep in the recesses of Atlantis and the only hint to its whereabouts is a tracking device planted somewhere in its vicinity. And whose idea was it to break up their already very small team? Oh right, Sheppard's. Another thing he has already put on his "Told you so." list.

Best he can do now is use his ATA gene and make the city his ally. Yeah, so Reece is also a natural gene carrier but not as strong as him and Sheppard. That has to count for _something_ doesn't it? Well, he thinks, time to leave your hidey-hole and get into action again. As if on cue, a series of clicks sound through his headset, meaning that Sheppard just told him that the coast is clear on his end of the city and to get moving again. Resisting an overdramatic sigh, he levels his Wraith stunner again.

Carefully rounding the corner, he tries to keep his grumbling to a minimum, concentrating on the lifesigns detector in his other hand, telling him that there are several lifesigns close by even though no one should be in this section of the city right now. Something's foul here and he starts to wonder if they haven't all underestimated the strength of Maureen Reece's ATA gene.

While he slowly makes his way towards the nearest lifesign, he also wonders if they didn't underestimate the weight of the challenge Sheppard accepted. When the Marines had been a bit miffed at Sheppard's rather… flamboyant bearing prior to starting the exercise, they – or rather Captain Cadman as the team's unofficial spokeswoman – had been bold enough to suggest a bet, saying that the victorious team could make the team that lost do _whatever_ they wanted. In front of the whole Expedition. Sheppard, never one to let himself be called a coward, had accepted on the Air Force team's behalf and the moment his CO did he _knew_ the Marines would work extra hard to get them.

So _he_ is extra careful, moving with determination but also vigilance, not taking any risks. Only a few feet to the next two lifesigns, somewhere in front of him… Another corner… Wait, what was _that_? _Something_ just flitted around the corner in front of him… even though the detector doesn't show anything. Sensing a trap and resisting a growl, he presses his back against the wall, far enough away from the crossing corridor that no one can shoot him but he can shoot everyone coming through that corridor.

And did he just hear someone giggle down that corridor? Okay, better try and find out who that is before he charges around that corner and scares some unsuspecting scientists to death. Not that any scientist should be _here_ at the moment, but better safe than sorry. You never know with civilians. "I know someone's around that corner. Identify yourself."

Snorting. Then, whispered, "What do you think, Dusty?" Oh boy. Jackpot. He just found Sergeant Mehra and… was that Captain Cadman?

"The Major asked us a question, ma'am. I think we should answer." Did he detect a note of sarcasm in Sergeant Mehra's voice? And a grin?

"Alright, if you think so, Sergeant." They don't even bother with whispering anymore. Something… is afoot here, so he still keeps to his position. "Captain Cadman and Sergeant Mehra, sir. And before you come charging round that corner… let me just tell you that we have something of your interest." Cadman sounds incredibly _smug_ which makes him want to charge around and give her "something of your interest". But his gut tells him that this is exactly what she wants him to do.

So instead of just coming around, he taps his earpiece, puts it off and carefully holds it into the direction from which the two voices came before he begins to speak. "And what would that be, Captain?" He just really, really hopes Sheppard realizes that he's supposed to listen.

"It's really just a little piece of fabric… with the Air Force logo on it." What the…? Cadman already has the flag? Sure that Sheppard must have heard that, too he puts the earpiece back in but… there's just nothing. Not even static. He taps the piece again… still nothing. He'd be damned if this sudden radio malfunction was accidental. Slowly it dawns on him that they _did_ underestimate Captain Reece's ATA gene and the Marines' resourcefulness.

He can still try, even though he has no means to prove it. "You're bluffing, Captain." Again snorting.

"Sergeant, are we bluffing?" The amused grin in Cadman's voice translates itself into her voice and for some reason he can imagine Mehra's corresponding slightly sarcastic grin.

"Nope, ma'am. Marines don't need to bluff." God, putting Cadman and Mehra on the same team was _such_ a bad idea. Even _he_ underestimated the danger that could be posed by Cadman and Mehra together. He really shouldn't have assumed automatically that if they split their team, Cadman would team up with either Reece or Meyers, never with Mehra. If there's one thing he already learned from this exercise it's that he should start pay more attention to his Marines again.

"Damn right, Dusty. But maybe we should tell the Major that _someone_ found the flag before us… and didn't exactly show the Air Force the right respect." Dammit, he needs to find a way to find out if they really have the flag or if they're just bluffing. But then again… if they _had_ the flag… why would they be hanging around this corridor instead of marching straight to the next transporter and beam back to Woolsey's office to claim their glory?

But before he can tell her that he has seen right through their little game, Mehra answers Cadman, "Yeah, it's really not pretty. Ma'am… what does it say here? Really can't make out that handwriting." Handwriting? Huh?

"I think… that's supposed to mean… "All Hail to the Chair Force" Yep, that's right. Oh, look here… "Sleep tight tonight, your Air Force is awake… if they aren't drunk." Mh… I've read better stuff. Anyway… you can really be happy we found the flag so fast, sir. I don't even want to think about what would have happened if we hadn't!" Alright, that's enough. They had their fun. Now it's time he has his.

"Okay, I get it, Cadman. What do you want me to do?" Not that he'd do it but he needs to stall a little until this malfunction – no matter what caused it – is gone. The odds are still two against one and he just isn't Sheppard which means that he is better friends with caution.

"Oh, nothing. We just didn't want you to come charging round when the whole exercise is already over." As if he believed that. Marines being afraid of a zoomie coming around a corner. Uh-huh. Yeah, _sure_.

"You don't expect me to believe that, right?" It's a little scary how well he can imagine Cadman's bright grin and Mehra's smirk. And how much he'd love to wipe them off their faces.

"We're not going to shoot you, sir. Promise. Come on, there's a transporter just a few feet away from our position. We can go back to the Gate room together." She sounds sincere… doesn't she? And they _really_ could have the flag. Ah, dammit.

"Okay, prove it, Cadman. Show me the flag and I'll give in." Some whispering between Cadman and Mehra, this time not demonstratively loud so he assumes that this wasn't part of their plan until now.

Then, "Alright. Sergeant Mehra and I will come forward now, nice and slow. We won't shoot you, if you don't shoot at us." It sounds like she means it… and if _they_ come to _him_ he still has an advantage over them.

"Fine. No shooting, Captain." He hears steps coming towards him, nice and slow as promised.

"Of course no shooting, sir." And they are there… with a piece of fabric that _could_ be the flag in Mehra's hand. He already wants to reach out for it but Cadman stops him, saying with a smirk, "I wouldn't do that if I were you, sir."

He wants to ask _what_ he shouldn't do but when he takes a step forward suddenly the telltale blue glittering of a force shield going down appears before him and his momentum carries him right into it. Shortly before his body hits the field, he _really_ regrets joining Sheppard in this. This will really be the last time he _ever_ does that.


	54. 081 How

**A/N:** The sequel to "What?" and... this is ABBA's and **mac**'s fault. I have nothing do with it (other than I wrote it, I mean). Seriously, I don't. _I_ would never do something like this to the poor Major (other than writing it, I mean). And anyway... where _is_ everyone? Am I boring you? Guys? :(

* * *

Prompt: 081 How?

**In the mood for a dance**

"_You're a teaser, you turn 'em on  
Leave them burning and then you're gone  
Looking out for another, anyone will do  
You're in the mood for a dance  
And when you get the chance..."_

_ABBA, "Dancing Queen"_

He will _not_ sigh. And he will also _not_ roll his eyes. But most of all… he will _not_ chicken out. It still doesn't mean he won't ask his CO one last time, "Sir… why exactly are we doing this?"

Sheppard, not even bothering to try to look dignified in their current… attire just gives him a _look_ indicating he expects better from his 2IC than to ask stupid questions like the last one. "Because we lost a bet; thou shalt honor thy gambling debts."

"Yeah… right." He really tries to avoid looking up at the Control Room Gang and the masses of Marines lined up at the balconies above the gate room floor but it's becoming increasingly hard with all the wolf whistling and cat calling going on. And he also tries to keep from thinking that this is _all_ Sheppard's fault because in all honesty… it's not. It's Cadman's and Mehra's fault, even though they still keep stubbornly denying it.

Still… it just isn't fair, he thinks. It had been _Sheppard's_ stupid idea to go up against four Marines and it had been _Sheppard's_ stupid idea to accept the stupid bet. So why is _he_ now also part of this… ridiculous display?

Right. Because it's basically his fault that Sheppard and he lost. It was one thing for _Sheppard_ to underestimate the power behind Cadman, Reece, Meyers and Mehra, but a totally _different_ thing for _him_ to miscalculate how well Reece could communicate with the city or how well Cadman and Mehra would work together… or how devious Meyers could become when given free reign in the punishment of superior officers.

He'd already mentioned these things to Sheppard – phrased much more carefully, though – but all Sheppard had done was cheerfully tell him that this exercise taught them a lot about those four Marines and that they could use them even more effectively now.

Sheppard was, of course, right with that. However, it doesn't change the fact that he's now standing at the in front of the 'Gate in nothing but a leotard, a tutu – he still hasn't found out why Dr. Belnikova actually brought that stuff all the way with her to Atlantis – tights and his combat boots, since Dr. Belnikova flatly refused to donate a pair of her pointe shoes to him and Sheppard. Trust a Marine to find something _really_ humiliating to punish zoomie officers for their big mouths.

Barely resisting the urge to sigh, he throws a look over to the four victorious Marines standing on the sidelines and debating over the choice of music. He's almost positive that this is all just show because they all already know which song to choose and just want to drag the humiliation for him and Sheppard out as long as they can.

From the look of it, the main argument seems to be taking place between Cadman and Reece which just adds to his suspicion that it's all fake. He _knows_ that Cadman and Reece are friends and often enough were partners in crime. He also knows that unlike what everyone suspects that the score of harebrained schemes is almost even between Cadman and Reece, despite the different dispositions of those two women.

So when they have finally stopped arguing – from what he could catch it was a tough competition between ABBA's "Dancing Queen" and Tchaikovsky's "Dance Of The Little Swans" – he's even kind of relieved that the most horrible part of this will be over soon.

As the discussion has stopped, Cadman puts the mike she'd been holding the whole time in her hand to her mouth with an almost vicious smile and says, "Ladies and Gentlemen, we're proud to present to you today a once in a lifetime spectacle." He wants to groan at the almost deafening applause and cheering… and the grinning and fist-bumping between Mehra and Meyers. And is it really too much to ask that McKay stops smirking? "Enjoy the following display of grace and elegance because it's very likely you won't see this ever again." If it was solely up to him… hell, yeah! "Please welcome the Dynamic Duo, Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard and his faithful sidekick Major Evan Lorne as they will now perform ABBA's eternal hit "Dancing Queen". A hearty applause please."

And hearty it is. Even Teyla and Ronon join in, even though they still look… more than just a little bewildered at another example of strange Earth behavior. The applause is almost louder than the first one, making him wish again they had confiscated all recording devices, starting with mobile phones and ending with all kinds of video cameras and yet unknown Ancient recording devices. He's really not the vengeful kind of guy but this whole thing… makes him start wishing for a rematch with the Marines, just to get the opportunity to get back at them.

However, at first he has to get this over with since the song finally started and Sheppard has already started… something that looks like dancing. Almost like… Sheppard had done this before and he makes a mental note to grill Sheppard about his college days as soon as he can. He can't resist a growl under his breath before he starts trying to match Sheppard's "dancing" routine when he catches Cadman enjoying herself… a lot… at _his_ expense especially.

Growling he looks at her and then says loud enough that she must be able to hear it, "Stop snickering, Cadman. This is all your fault."

She looks at him, seriously offended. "What? It's not!"

He has stopped dancing now and actually raised his finger at her. "It is! _You_ cheated!"

She rolls her eyes and beside her Reece and Mehra look ready to join in to defend a fellow Marine. "Did not."

"Did, too!"

"Shut up and dance, Major." A little shocked he turns around to see Sheppard glaring at him. Okay. He really shouldn't make this worse by giving his CO the impression he was letting him down here.

Finally swallowing his pride for good he simply nods and says, "Yes, sir," and starts something resembling dancing. While doing the moves and suffering from the wolf whistles and the applause and the cat calls he really, really wishes someone had taught him Zen or Yoga or maybe some way to totally detach your mind from your body and be somewhere completely different. What wouldn't he give for a good old bug hunt now or maybe being kidnapped by Genii again. Even being trapped on a Hive ship sounds nice right now. Just anything but this… _disgrace_.

And anyway, why didn't Mr. Woolsey do _anything_ against this? What did Cadman, Reece and the Sergeants bribe him with that he allowed this? But at least he isn't actually… oh, _crap_. He misses a few steps and almost crashes into Sheppard when his eyes catch Mr. Woolsey appearing beside Chuck. But beside the wish to disappear right into the ocean outside and never to resurface again he also feels something like hope soaring up… Mr. Woolsey is _positively_ here to make an end to this display.

However… that hope is crushed very fast when he sees the slightest hint first of confusion and then of an amused smile play over Woolsey's face. He… likes it. Good. God. He is _doomed_ now. Doomed to perform until the very bitter end. Why the hell is this song so _long_? It never used to be, did it?

But then… finally… it's over. Which he only realizes because the cheering that had been moderate until now grows deafening. Sheppard has the audacity and the guts to actually bow to the audience and… blow some kisses in the directions of various groups of female Expedition members. Attention whore, he thinks and of course is appalled at the thought almost in the same moment.

At least that gives _him_ the opportunity to vanish as fast as he can from the makeshift stage. Of course he doesn't make it past Meyers and Mehra without the two Sergeants giving him grins that almost border on evil and high-fiving each other. It amazes him a little that Reece is nowhere to be seen all of a sudden but maybe Moore or Morsberg are already showing her their footage of this humiliation. That only leaves Cadman…

"Don't be surprised if you get a lot of invitations to go swimming in the next few weeks, sir." He jumps. _Dammit_. Did she really have to lurk in the corridor when everyone else is still in the Gate room?

He clears his throat to get back at least a little of his dignity. In vain, of course, but one can still try. "Captain?"

She grins. "Oh, let's just say… I think, there are quite a few girls around here who'd love to see _those_ legs again… well, minus the leotard, tights and the tutu, that is."

Oh crap and now he feels himself blushing. He really thought he was already beyond that. "Uh… right."

Still grinning, she leans against the nearest wall, her arms crossed. "You know, since we're already on the topic of swimming… the team planned to celebrate with a little trip to the mainland. Care to come along?"

What the…? Where did _that_ come from? A little disgruntled, he replies, "Need a driver, Captain?" Stupid question, really.

And yes, she rolls her eyes and waves her hand a little dismissively. "Nah, I think Maureen's fine. But we thought that _you_ might want an opportunity to make up for your performance at that little "Capture the Flag" exercise."

Still trying not to look _too_ interested he raises his eyebrows. "Well… that does sound inviting."

Her eyes light up. "Come on, sir, you know you want it, too."

Yeah, um, well… he does, actually. Getting back at the Marines… _and_ getting a nice little short trip to the mainland… yeah, his schedule allows for that. He finds himself grinning. "Alright, I'm game, Captain."


	55. 100 Persuasion Writer's Choice

**A/N: **So, after the first election campaign for this year is over (whose idea was it to have it raining cats and dogs yesterday, huh? I had to be outside the whole day! Darn sheeps' cold :P), finally a new piece. It's something just a _little_ different from the other pieces. And thanks to **mac** (and the LorneLovers thread on GW) for coming up with a ton of great nicknames for Major Lorne :D

* * *

Prompt: _100 Persuasion (Writer's Choice)_

**Write to me**

_"If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.  
If you're not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain.  
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.  
I'm the lady you've looked for, write to me, and escape."_

_Rupert Holmes, "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)"_

_Welcome to My__Atlantis (formerly known as MySpaceCity). Want to share rants about your boss with your co-workers (yes, we're talking to you, all of you poor McKay minions), want to swoon over all that fresh meat out there (yes, we're talking to you, Admirers Of Hair That Defies Gravity… and you, too, Followers Of The Dread-Locked One… and also The Fans Of Athosian Culture… God, get rid of your hormones, people!) or just see what's cooking in other departments (yes, we're talking to you, Life Science department… why ever did you bury yourself in the most remote part of the city?) and all of that in blissful anonymity? Then this is the place you have to be, brought to you by your friendly IT Department Geek Squad! (and yes, we know some things still need tweaking… this IS the beta test version, after all)_

_090308 AST 2548h_

_CrouchingBagheera posted 2 hours ago:_

Lonely black panther seeks spirited mate to brighten up his dull grey days and wander the Pegasus jungle with. Feel like that might be you? Pin a message to my tree.

_Boom___Baby1979 posted 90 minutes ago:_

Bundle of energy with tendency to explode in most unlikely moments looking for hero experienced with handling explosive material. If you think you're up to the challenge… drop me a line :)

_090508 AST __2033h_

**From:** Boom_Baby1979**  
To:** CrouchingBagheera**  
Re:** Nice tree you have there

It's almost a shame to mutilate it with pinning a message against it... but I had the distinct feeling you meant ME in that chees… wonderfully poetic ad and couldn't resist trying to find out if I'm right. Want to help me find out?

_090508 AST 2049h_

**From:** CrouchingBagheera**  
To:** Boom_Baby1979**  
Re:** Re: Nice tree you have there

If YOU help me find out if I'm experienced enough with handling explosives material… of course. Or did I already set off another bomb with that comment?

_090508 AST 2206h_

**From:** Boom_Baby1979**  
To:** CrouchingBagheera**  
Re:** Already afraid of me?

Nah, you didn't. Not yet, anyway. So what are your credentials regarding explosives? Other than having raised a boy to defeat a tiger, I mean.

_090608 AST 1056h_

**From:** CrouchingBagheera**  
To:** Boom_Baby1979**  
Re:** Takes more to frighten a panther

I've got a younger sister and a mother who's a teacher. And I used to date the lead singer of a heavy metal band. Does that meet your obviously very elevated standards?

BTW, can YOU give reasons that back up your rather high claims of being able to keep up with the king of the jungle?

_090608 AST 1323h_

**From:** Boom_Baby1979**  
To:** CrouchingBagheera**  
Re:** Delusional much?

Since, you know, I always thought that an orangutan by the name of Louie was the king of the jungle. But then again it's been AGES since I saw the Disney movie (or read Kipling's book which I hope your nick is referring to) so I could be mistaken.

Anyway, if dating a heavy metal singer doesn't teach a man how to take care of explosives I don't know what else would. So… yeah, I guess you qualified. Congrats ;)

As for me… I once had a guy calling me "Queen of the Dance Floor" after he saw me in a tap dance performance. I guess that should suffice, shouldn't it?

_090608 AST __0939h_

**From:** CrouchingBagheera**  
To:** Boom_Baby1979**  
Re:** Tap dancing, huh?

You're actually making me curious. Can't remember ever having met a woman who could tap dance. Care for a private performance? It certainly WOULD do wonders to speed up the qualification process as queen of the jungle for you. And it would brighten up my INCREDIBLY crappy day… certain scientists just shouldn't be allowed to wield a gun… or go on off-world missions… or be in Pegasus at all.

_090608 AST 0941__h_**  
**

**From:** Boom_Baby1979**  
To:** CrouchingBagheera**  
Re:** Poor kitty-cat

Sorry to hear about your day. Had a little scientist trouble myself today so no tap dancing performance, rather a quiet night in the quarters… and some nice Intranet company.

So… tell me more about this queen-of-the-jungle business. What else do I have to do to qualify?

_090708 AST __0945h_

**From:** CrouchingBagheera**  
To:** Boom_Baby1979**  
Re:** Sorry I didn't get back to you yesterday

It's just that something came up and I had to take care of it. Would have preferred to talk to you, though… in fact, would have loved to just say "Screw you all." and do nothing else than exchanging messages with you for the rest of the evening. Would have made one happy little panther, TBH.

Anyway… how about you tell me something about you I don't know yet. Cause I'm kinda dying to learn more about the charming bundle of energy that is you.

_090708 AST 09__54h_

**From:** Boom_Baby1979**  
To:** CrouchingBagheera**  
Re:** Real charmer, are we?

You know how to talk to a girl, huh?

And I love that! :D You're seriously starting to work yourself to #1 of the Official Female Members' List Of Eligible Atlantis Men (or simply The List)… and that is no easy feat (with so many hot flyboys here a girl's really got a hard time choosing). Anyway, something you don't know about me… mh… let me think of something.

Oh, right. I'm totally a daddy's girl. Mom's a great person and a real role-model and taught me a lot of things… but daddy will always be #1.

Now your turn.

_090708 AST__ 1002h_

**From:** CrouchingBagheera**  
To:** Boom_Baby1979**  
Re:** Didn't know there was that kind of list

It does scare me a little TBH. I also feel flattered, though and… oh, I see you're online now. Don't leave, I got an idea!

**[AST 1005h CrouchingBagheera logs on "tree house"]**

**[****AST 1006h Boom_Baby1979 logs on "tree house"]**

**[****1007]** CrouchingBagheera: Hey, you on duty right now?**  
[****1008]** Boom_Baby1979: Would I be chatting with you if I were? :P**  
[****1010]** CrouchingBagheera: One never knows…**  
[****1011]** CrouchingBagheera: Anyway… are you or aren't you?**  
[****1012]** Boom_Baby1979: Not yet. Got a briefing in 30 minutes… with Major Ol' Blue Eyes.**  
[****1018]** Boom_Baby1979: Uh… kitty-cat? You still there?**  
[****1021]** CrouchingBagheera: That… just didn't happen.**  
[****1022]** Boom_Baby1979: Kitty-cat? I haven't offended you, have I? I mean, Major Lorne IS eye candy and pretty much #1 or 2 on The List but he's still my CO and everything so no competition for you.**  
[****1026]** CrouchingBagheera: You didn't just say that, right?**  
[****1027]** Boom_Baby1979. Hey, uh… you're starting to worry me… Don't worry, I'm a Marine. I KNOW I'm not allowed to… you know… with my CO.**  
[****1036]** CrouchingBagheera: I don't believe this. Please tell me you're NOT Lieutenant Cadman.**  
[****1038]** Boom_Baby1979: Uh… why not?**  
[****1040]** CrouchingBagheera: I take that as a yes. We got a problem now.**  
[****1043]** Boom_Baby1979: …wait… WTH are you?**  
[****1044]** CrouchingBagheera: Your CO, Cadman.**  
[****1055]** CrouchingBagheera: Cadman?**  
[****1056]** Boom_Baby1979: I'm outta here.**  
[****1056]** Boom_Baby1979: I'm outta here, SIR.**  
[****1057]** CrouchingBagheera: Hey, Cadman! Stay the hell here!**  
[****1058]** CrouchingBagheera: Cadman! That was an order!**  
[****1100]** CrouchingBagheera: Cadman? Hey, we can work that out. I guess.**  
[****1105]** CrouchingBagheera: Cadman?**  
[****1112]** CrouchingBagheera: Laura?

**[AST 1112h Boom_Baby1979 logs off "****tree house"]**

**[****1113]** CrouchingBagheera: Crap.

**[AST 1132h Boom_Baby1979 logs off "****tree house"]**

_091208 AST 2656h_

**From:** CrouchingBagheera**  
To:** Boom_Baby1979**  
Re:** Don't you dare deleting this message unread

Because, since you won't talk to me, I'm using this as a last resort to tell you I'm _not_ offended. Seriously, I'm not. Guess I was just a little… surprised is all. I even kinda miss our conversations… _all_ of them… here and IRL, actually. And not just the conversations. Ah hell. Come on, just talk to me again. IRL, I mean. Promise I won't give you a hard time. Give me a date and a place and I'll be there. Or tell me at least to stay away from you because this is starting to become EXTREMELY embarrassing. God why am I even doing this? Honestly… this is the last time I'll try something like this so just… you know, get it over with.

_091208 AST 2656h_

**From:** Boom_Baby1979**  
To:** CrouchingBagheera**  
Re:** Alright, fine

Common room, L3, bring some nice food and lots of time. And if you don't want a major explosion to happen… don't you dare not coming!

PS.: Just for the record: Kinda missed you, kitty-cat… _all_ of you :S

_092008 AST 0346h_

_CrouchingBagheera has changed his relationship status__ from "100% Single" to "It's complicated."_

_Boom_Baby1979 has changed her relationship status from "100% Single" to "It's complicated."_


	56. 098 Pride Writer's Choice

**A/N:** You know... this song was stalking me for at least two months or something and it practically _forced_ me to write it. Thanks to **mac**, though, I got through writing it without any lasting damage to myself. BTW, after a bit of discussion we finally decided to make this the sequel to "Drink" (one of the AMCM pieces) so you might want to go back and read that one first ;)

* * *

Prompt: _098 Pride (Writer's Choice)_

**Something that ain't real**

"_You can't play on broken strings  
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel  
I can't tell you something that ain't real."_

_James Morrison feat. Nelly Furtado, "Broken Strings"_

"So… heard you're going back to school?" He raises his eyebrow, tries to look casual while going through the armory's inventory.

She nods and shrugs, trying to appear as casual as him… and to keep from fiddling around with her jacket. "Yeah, gotta do _some_thing with my life."

Still with the eyebrow raised he marks something on his clipboard, doesn't look at her when he replies, "And the Corps is nothing?" That… was a low blow. And what surprises her even more is the slightly… reproachful undertone he has to his voice. It wasn't supposed to go like this. _None_ of this had been supposed to go like it did.

"Oh, I never said I'd be leaving the _Corps_," she gives back, with a cheerful grin on her face… one where even she realizes that it's too bright to look honest.

Still ticking off his list. "Right. You're just leaving Atlantis." So? she wants to shoot back, what's it to you? _You_ haven't been talking to me for four weeks straight. Not even on duty-related matters. You always delegated that to someone else.

She resists a sigh. What did she expect? Of _course _there would be _something_ different after that stupid… _thing_. Not even _he_ could be that professional that he wouldn't have to react to it _somehow_. And well… better not talk about _her_ professionalism. "Yeah, well, correspondence courses at that distance would be a bitch."

He nods, makes a face, briefly looks at her and then continues with his list. "_Everything_ would be a bitch at that distance."

She will _not_ waste a deeper thought on that. She will also not waste another moment in this conversation. In fact… she should just have stayed away from him until the _Daedalus_ got here in two days.

No, scratch that.

She should have stayed away from him _four fucking weeks ago_. But she didn't. Instead she made the mistake of drinking alcohol in his presence and kept on flirting with him even though they _both_ knew that heavy flirting and alcohol just don't mix for some people.

Realizing the scratching and ticking on the clipboard has stopped she looks up again, berating herself for zoning out. It's been happening a little too often since… her last physical. "Anything else you wanted to say, Lieutenant?"

Actually… yeah. But none of it is really fit for the casual "Hey, see you around, huh?" talk she'd prepared in her head. _Why_ she had wanted to say good bye to _him_ specifically, she suddenly can't fathom anymore. She just… she'd just wanted to see him one last time, to reassure herself that she'd done the right thing. But that had just been stupid. She sees that now.

Trying to cover up all that's inside of her with a non-committal smile that doesn't reach her eyes, she simply says, "No, sir. Sorry… sorry to bother you."

With that, she turns around again, is almost at the exit of the armory… when she suddenly hears him clearing his throat behind her. "Lieutenant… Laura. If this is about… you know… that party…"

Before she knows it, she has turned around. It nearly breaks her heart. For the first time in four weeks… she doesn't have the feeling that Major Evan Lorne wears a mask when he's around her. Instead there's regret on his face, mixed with genuine worry… all things she just can't take at the moment. For a moment, the urge to just _spill_ it – everything that happened in the last four weeks, everything that went through her head, everything that went on with her heart – is almost overwhelming.

But then rationality wins again and she simply replies, "No, it's not." Dammit, that was almost too hurried and that shows in his face. For about a second, that is. "It's just about getting a PhD, sir." At that… the mask is firmly back in place, giving her a stab.

"Yeah, right. Well then… good luck with that, Lieutenant." When he says that last sentence, he doesn't even look at her anymore. At least… at least that gives her back the resolve that had started to crumble in those few moments she could see him without his cover.

"Right. Thank you, sir." At that last sentence, she has already turned around, walked out the door, trying to wipe away the tears she blames on hormones… and so she never sees him standing there, staring at her back, clipboard and pen forgotten in his hand, only inches away from calling out to her but giving in to rationality… a rationality that tastes very much like wounded pride and the overwhelming feeling of being powerless in the face of a _huge_ mistake.


	57. 099 Prejudice Writer's Choice

**A/N:** And here we go with #2 of this special 'verse (**mac** found a very fitting name for it but using it already would be telling ;)). There are already four stories more of it I'd like to publish but mac and I weren't really sure if we should keep this in the Fanfic100 or make an extra series out of it. What do you think?

* * *

Prompt: _099 Prejudice (Writer's Choice)_

**M****ade the neighbors jealous**

"_We would have made the neighbour__s jealous  
We could have had barbecues at nights  
With our collected brain resources, she would have an IQ of a hundred and fifty five  
She could have supported us when we retire, bought us a cottage near the countryside"_

_Hello Saferide, "Anna"_

Well, then… here it is. His chance to make a fool out of himself for all eternity. Seriously, why should he be doing this? Why should he waste part of his leave to ring the bell of a woman who disappeared out of his life six months ago? And with such a… meaningless goodbye at that.

Yeah, right.

Meaningless, his _ass_. He's positive she already knew what he got told four months later… in fact, he's positive that this was the actual reason why she handed in the request to leave Atlantis. What he doesn't understand – and part of why he's here – is that she didn't _tell_ him about this. Another reason was that when he finally learned about everything he felt… furious. Furious at being left out, that Laura thought she had to handle this on her own… and furious that Laura didn't _trust_ him.

With that anger as a back-up he finally manages to press the bell. It also makes him be persistent enough that he manages to press the bell a second time after a few moments when nothing happens. And even a _third_ time. Again… nothing… until he suddenly hears some movement behind the door and then the door actually opens.

Aw, crap. He'd had such a well-phrased speech in his head, right up until this moment. Right up… until he actually _saw_ her. Her hair is in a messy pony tail, she looks tired… and very obviously pregnant. Well… it was one thing _hearing_ about it… and it's quite another actually _seeing_ it. It brings him as far as visually gasping.

Her only answer is crossing her arms in front of her chest, leaning against the door frame and asking, "Anything you wanted to say, sir?"

Mh. Could have been worse. She could have thrown the door right back into his face. He clears his throat, trying to get back at least a little of his dignity. "Yeah, nice to see you, too, Laura." He had decided on the frontal approach, going in already calling her by her first name. After all… that's _his_ kid she's pregnant with for all he knows.

However… that wasn't exactly the best way to start a conversation about something as serious as a kid between two ex fellow soldiers that was never supposed to happen. She seems to view it like that as well. "What do you want?" Yeah, that's the Lieutenant Cadman he knows. Straight to the point.

He can handle that… he thinks. "Isn't that kind of… obvious?" He can't help gesturing towards that bump under her loose t-shirt. Her hand strays toward it but he's sure she's doing that unintentionally, a gesture that betrays the insecurity behind her cool, slightly bored façade. It gives him an odd kind of satisfaction to see her already rattled up… after all, she deserves that for leaving him standing like an idiot in that armory six months ago.

"I think you better leave now, sir." Wait, she wasn't supposed to say that. She was supposed… okay, she probably _was_ supposed to say that. And couldn't she just _stop_ calling him "sir"? She didn't when that kid was conceived, after all.

He takes a deep breath to stay calm. "Look… Katie Brown told me. I think… I think we need to talk." All she does is shake her head and move to close the door again but something in him makes him react fast enough to put a foot in the door and his hand against it. For a moment… she just glares at him, daring him to come closer, do something stupid… and at the same time almost afraid of it and again he feels himself somehow irritated at how little she trusts him. Then he almost sighs and actually finds the courage to softly remind her, "Kid's gonna need a father, Laura."

She wipes a hand over her face, looking even more harassed than she did a few moments ago and wants to answer something but another door on the floor opens and an elderly man pokes his head out of the apartment and eyes him warily before asking, "Is this man bothering you, Laura?"

Immediately, he takes away his hand and foot from the door because something in the way the man eyes him promises him lots of trouble in case Laura says yes, he is. But Laura just takes a step out in the corridor and shakes her head, hugging herself. "No, I'm fine, Colonel Daubner, thank you."

The man – the _Colonel_ – takes a step out of his apartment himself and gives him another once over. Why does he suddenly feel like being under scrutiny from Laura's _father_, not her neighbor? "Are you sure? Never seen him here before. Looks a little… shifty." Shifty? _Shifty_? Who the hell is that guy? Can't be Air Force retired, that much is clear. It really takes him a lot of strength to keep quiet.

Laura, though, gives the Colonel something… something that actually looks like a ghost of her usual lenient smile and he feels oddly… jealous. Huh. "It's okay, sir. We… used to serve together. Major Lorne here just wanted to catch up since he was in the neighborhood."

Another scrutinizing look but at least also a short approving look at Laura's mentioning of his rank. With a moment's delay he realizes… she did that on purpose to keep him from any further inquiries by the Colonel. "Major, huh? Looks a little young to be a proper one. Flyboy, eh?" Laura nods… and is that a little cheeky eye-rolling he just caught? "Well, well… if he gives you any trouble… you know where to knock."

"Of course, sir." Another little smile for the Colonel, not for him. Another stab of jealousy. It surprises him a little how easily the Colonel lets himself be convinced by Laura's pacification. What also surprises him is that when Laura turns back to him, she says, "Ten minutes, sir."

Well… it's a start, isn't it? He knows he should be appalled at her ordering him around – and if she keeps doing that he might still get to that – but for the moment he's too glad that she's actually letting him in that he lets it go for the moment. So he just nods and follows her into her apartment.

The first thing that he notices is that it's… _tiny_. There's a living room and a kitchen and two doors which probably lead to a bathroom and a bedroom. In one of the living room's corners stands a desk that's cluttered with all kinds of papers around a laptop with its lid open. There are some more papers on the couch and the coffee table... but other than that it looks like she keeps everything in neat order. He can just hold back a grin, seeing that this is obviously an expression of the battle of her inner scientist versus her inner Marine.

She clears her throat and he looks up again. She's now leaning against her kitchen counter, her arms crossed in front of her chest and again he has to force himself not to stare at the reason why he's actually here. "You wanted to explain to me what's so important about a father, sir."

He's standing in the middle of her living room, feeling strangely forlorn and actually needs a moment to gather his wits again. Then, "You know… I don't know about you but I for example would have liked to have one." Instead of the desired reaction she just raises her eyebrows. Not good. "However… _my_ father decided to leave my mother a few months after I was born and we never heard from him again." Still looking not exactly impressed. "Laura… all I want to say is that… my mother is a great person and she always took great care of us… but there was always something… some_one_ missing. She did have a few men in her life over the years but none of them was… a _father_."

She rubs a hand over her face again. She also takes a deep breath. "Look, sir… I… I guess I see your point and everything, it's just that… this is another thing altogether. You didn't leave me and it was _my_ decision to take care of this whole thing on my own. You don't… _owe_ me anything. I can deal with this alone."

Resisting another sigh he simply flexes his fingers. He also has a hard time not asking her if she was deliberately misunderstanding him or if she was actually too stupid to see what he meant. It takes him another few moments to calm down enough to be able to say, "I know you could," although he's pretty sure that even Laura Cadman could use a little help in raising a child, "but that's not what this is about."

She snorts. "Then what _is_ this about?" Yeah, well… good question. He'd had all those wonderful reasonable speeches in his head where he would simply convince her to let him take his part in this because it was the right thing to do, the decent thing, the _sensible_ thing. But now that he's here, now that in a way he can already see the child that is his… it's about so much more. It's about… it's about this almost indescribable strange feeling that's starting to rise in his chest whenever his eyes wander over the bulge, about the amazement at the fact that dammit, that's _his_ kid in there and the ever growing reluctance to let himself be forced to forget about this child.

He takes a deep breath. "Look, I just want to…"

She throws up her hands in frustration. "Want to what? Protect me? Do the decent thing? Help with the bills? Newsflash: This is the 21st century, Major. A woman doesn't need a shotgun wedding anymore." Ouch. Seems like he just touched a nerve there. Before that little outburst, she'd been a little irritated, a little harassed… but this is obviously not the first time she felt like someone is trying to question her ability to solve each and every one of her problems on her own.

Only… only that he never wanted to do that. He just knows her better than that, having been her CO and even something resembling a friend for quite a while. It's only that knowledge that saves her from an equally scathing retaliation. Instead, he quietly – maybe even _too_ quietly – replies, "I was going to say: See my kid growing up."

She wants to get off at him again but then it registers with her what he just said and it kind of throws her off-track because all she says is a slightly confused, "Oh. Oh right." With slightly nervous fingers, she puts a lose strand of her behind her ear, fiddles a little around with it. In fact… she suddenly looks distraught enough that he _almost_ regrets having said that. And when she says, "I'm… sorry. Of course… of course you're right. I never… I wouldn't keep you from seeing… I…" he's _almost_ ready to simply walk over to her and engulf her in a hug. Things must have been mighty difficult for her in the last six months and all _he_ could think about was waltzing in here and demanding the right to see his child. He didn't… think of _her_ enough and he's ashamed of that now.

Now he flexes his fingers again to keep himself from reaching out to her. It's a sudden wave of affection for her that makes his voice soft again when he says, "I never thought you would and I'm sorry if I gave you the feeling I did. Look… I'm sure we can work something out."

She laughs a little humorless laugh and rubs her neck. "Yeah, sure. Guess so."

Her hands have crawled halfway into her sweater's sleeves. More and more he gets the feeling that she can try and tell him that she's got everything under control all she wants but that deep down she _knows_ that this is something not even a goddamn Marine can shoulder all on her own… and that's terrifying her. And the sight of that is getting at him enough that he feels himself compelled to do something that will almost certainly get him thrown out – and probably right into the arms of that Colonel out there. "Laura… promise not to go off on me again?"

A little warily she gestures him to go on. Oh well… here he goes. "I really… respect your determination to deal with this alone and I don't doubt you'll give your best and everything… it's just that… you don't _have_ to."

"Oh, you mean I'm not _capable_ of it," she gives back with a very scathing undertone and again he feels his frustration levels rise. Geez, how stubborn can one woman… one _Marine_ be?

"No, I'm just saying that it's not a _bad_ thing to accept some help now and then… not even for you." She wants to say something but he's kind of had it now. It's one thing to refuse obtrusive and maybe even condescending hints and offers but it's quite another to refuse genuine offers of help from the kid's _father_. "I know that you know that having and raising this kid will be no cake walk, for your whole life. So here I am, offering you a chance of making it easier, both for you _and_ the kid, the only thing that I want for that being able to see my kid on a regular basis and you _still_ go on and give me all that crap? Seriously, Laura… you are smarter than that."

That was daring and he knows it. Belittling Laura Cadman's intelligence is nothing you do more than once. But really… there's not much more that he has left to convince her to let him help with the kid. She practically _forced_ him to call upon his last resorts.

She shakes her head, her frustration and even desperation visible in every inch of her body. "Don't you dare calling not wanting to depend on someone's good will "crap", Evan Lorne. I'm a goddamn Marine, I _know_ how to take care of myself and everyone dependent of me. I don't need anybody's money or time or _pity_, thank you very much, Major…"

"God, don't you _get_ it?" This is really enough, now. Finally, she made him snap and raise his voice, no matter if that mad Colonel is listening at the door or not. "This isn't about fucking pity. It's about you stopping that stupid "Laura Cadman versus the rest of the world" game. Some things you just _can't_ deal with alone. You want to reenlist after finishing school? Fine, go on and try that as a single parent with no one to take care of your kid. Face it, Laura, either you take all the help that you can get or you can say good bye to ever serving on active duty again. And I ain't waiting forever for you to decide." There, it's on the table. His last wild card and he hopes she'll finally see reason. Because, quite frankly… it would break his heart at least a little bit if she was barred from ever joining up again because of something he's partly guilty of.

For a seeming eternity it's quiet in the room, with only some random sounds from outside filtering in through the closed window. Neither of them moves for the first few moments but then she pushes herself away from the counter, walks over to the couch and sits down a little awkwardly. She still doesn't say anything, only puts her face in her hands and he starts to be sorry for yelling at her. The sight of her sitting there, somehow looking small and frail all of a sudden, even despite the advanced pregnancy, makes him finally abandon all his reservations.

Carefully, he walks over to her and crouches down in front of her. After hesitating for a moment, he takes those hands – it surprises him a little how easily she lets him touch her and that tells him how much this is all getting to her – and says, "Laura… I'm sorry I said that. I shouldn't have yelled at you and I shouldn't have doubted…"

She shakes her head… but doesn't move her hands. "No… no, you were right. I don't stand a chance to reenlist as a single parent, no matter how badly I want it. Actually… it's a little scary how well you know me."

At that she gives him a little smile… the first real one and the first for him and it truly amazes him how much that serves to lighten his mood. He finds himself mirroring it and reaching out to tug another errant strand behind her ear. "I used to be your CO, remember?"

A little shaky she takes a deep breath. "Yeah… yeah, I do. I also… I also remember you being some kind of… you know… friend." That's his breakthrough. Something in her whole bearing and in her voice tells him that he finally got through to her, that she will _listen_ to him now.

He lets go of her hands and sits down beside her on the couch, not caring about the papers strewn about. He's sure she'll give him a wigging about that later but they really have other priorities at the moment. "I was. I still am. Laura… we'll find a way for you to have this kid and reenlist, if you really want to. You just have to let me help you find it."

Sighing, she leans back. "Guess I have to, huh?" He nods.

And then he grins. "I can still _order_ you to let me help you, Marine."

She gives him a _look_. "First of all… you're not my CO anymore. And second… go ahead and try it. We'll see how long you'll last." For a moment, he's tempted to actually do it but then the little warning voice in the back of his head tells him that even in situations worse than this Laura Cadman and her will of iron were always forces to be reckoned with.

He raises his hands in mock defeat. "Fine, I rescind."

Satisfied, she grins a little. But then she grows serious again. "I'll agree. Under one condition: No. Proposal. Really, I mean it. If I so much as see you _thinking_ about proposing, you're out. Got me?"

That strikes him as a very _odd_ condition at first but then he remembers her remark about a single pregnant woman not needing a shot gun wedding anymore and he realizes that this is an important thing for her and that he better agree. Even though the values his mother ingrained into him are protesting very loudly against this. But then again… he'd do everything to stop her glaring at him like she is right now. "Yeah. Right. No proposal. Got it."

And so it's obviously sealed… his fate as a future father. He's not sure if he should be giddy with happiness right now or mortally afraid of all the complications and difficulties that will arise from the two of them trying to take care of a kid as something between friends and former co-workers. "Evan… there's something, though, that you should know…" Uh-oh. That look on her face now makes him strongly lean towards the latter… it's something between guilty and sheepish. Does he really want to know? "It's… um… it's not "Kid's gonna need a father." It's more like… "Kids are gonna meet a father."."

It takes him at least half a minute to actually register what she just said. Kid's… kids… _kids_. Holy. Crap. He swallows. "What the…?"

She looks even more sheepish now and her hand is lying protectively on her stomach. "It's twins. Boy… and a girl." He swallows again. Obviously… something in that message made him forget about coherent speech… and thought. "I… was thinking about naming them… Aislinn Moira… and Christopher Evan." He feels his face turn white for at least a few seconds… and he's _not_ seeing black dots dancing before his eyes. He so is _not_. "Evan… is everything okay?"

Breathe, Lorne. In and out, in and out… after a few more moments he finally seems to have recovered somewhat from that double shock. He clears his throat. "Yeah, I'm… fine, I think. I just… that was a lot to take in at once."

She looks at him sympathetically and a little apologetically. "I'm sorry. But I had to tell you _some_ time, you know." Yeah, of course. Of course she had to. It's just… _twins_. And… _Christopher Evan_. He almost doesn't dare ask but then his curiosity gets the better of him.

"So… Christopher Evan, huh?" She smiles and it's a little dazzling mischievous smile… one that reminds him how they actually got into this mess.

"Yeah, well… They're both nice names and they remind me of two very important men in my life who could both be great role models for my son… both my kids, actually." It makes him blush and it doesn't go past her as the broadening of her smile tells him. Which doesn't really serve to calm down the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions inside him.

"Really?" She nods. "I'm most interested in them. Care to tell me their stories? Most of all the one of that Evan guy."

"Well… there once was this guy… he was Air Force and he was maybe the most decent man I ever met… even despite being Air Force. Hey, leave the pregnant woman alone!" The rest of her protestations drown in giggling as he has grabbed her feet and started tickling her… and something inside of him tells him that _this_ is the best sign that they will make it, no matter how hard and awkward and complicated it's going to be.


	58. 057 Lunch

**A/N:** Eh, couldn't have someone reminded me I wanted to post this already a few days ago? Anyway now that I'm done with the emo!whump "Protect and Survive" bunny (yes, I'm still writing this series, albeit not as fast as I used to... apart from this special bunny, I mean) that attacked me sometime this week, I can give you another twiniverse story (the name for this 'verse was **mac**'s idea and it's thoroughly fitting, isn't it? ;)). Hope you like it :)

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Prompt: 057 Lunch

**In trouble deep**

"_Papa do__n't preach, I'm in trouble deep  
Papa don't__ preach, I've been losing sleep  
But I made up my mind, I'm keeping my baby."_

_Madonna, "Papa don't preach"_

He's been here for two and a half days now and it's really about time that he finally tells his mother where he spent his last week… and with whom… and why. It's just that… Edith Lorne has a very definite set of rules and principles and accidentally knocking up a girl you aren't involved with is _not_ part of these rules and principles. For the last two and a half days, he could pretend that there was nothing he had to confess to his mother but it's becoming increasingly hard not to think of Laura… and the twins.

And he knows his mother. She's not dumb and most of all not blind. It won't take long until she sees on her own that something is occupying his mind enough that he's not really paying attention to her and everything else around him. A little nervous, he sits down at the kitchen counter, opposite where his mother is preparing today's lunch. She's chopping vegetables, meticulously, neatly like she always did for him and his sister. It looks like she's totally engrossed in it but he knows very well that his mother knows exactly that he just sat down… and that he's a little nervous. You don't raise two children on your own without developing that kind of sixth sense.

So without chit-chat or a preamble, he says, "Mom… we need to talk."

She continues chopping but smiles. "You didn't happen to knock up some random girl, did you?"

Holy _crap_. How the hell did she just manage that? He clears his throat, blushing. "Well… um…"

Now his mother has stopped chopping and looks at him, slightly alarmed. "You _did_, didn't you?"

A little disgruntled he says the first thing that gets into his head, "She wasn't a _random_ girl." Yeah, great. He already feels the need to defend Laura against everyone and everything. She would _not_ be amused about that.

His mother raises an eyebrow, much like he usually does with his subordinates. "You got a secret girlfriend? Fiancé? Wife?"

_That_ is such a _humiliating_ question, for several reasons, and she _knows_ it. And the worst thing is that the only answer that comes to his mind is, "Well, no…"

His mother puts the knife away. Okay, here it comes. "Let me get this straight. You, Evan Marcus Lorne, _my_ son… got a girl who is in no relationship to you pregnant. Is that about right?"

Something in him and in that accusation makes him lash out, at least a little bit. "She's _not_ a _stranger_, mom." Honestly, the last thing he wants his mom to think about Laura is that she's just some one-night stand he picked up in a seedy bar and who's now suing him for financial support.

"Then who _is_ she?" And now he can see that his mother is starting to get impatient as well. So she _had_ seen him being preoccupied these last two days.

He growls. "I would have told you if you'd just let me finish."

Great. This is starting to get difficult already. His mother has crossed her arms in front of her chest now and is already trying to stare him down. "Alright, go on, finish. And better be fast, young man."

He takes a deep breath. "She's… was a co-worker…"

Another raised eyebrow. "Civilian?"

"Mom!" She really wasn't supposed to get to the core of the problem so fast. But at the scathing look from his mother, he feels himself humbled very fast. "And yes… I mean… she's a civilian _now_."

"You aren't saying… Evan… you slept with a fellow _soldier_?" Yeah, of course she would pick that up fast, if she already asked the right question. Why is it that she doesn't even have to work really hard to corner him?

It starts to _really_ annoy him. "That's what I'm trying to tell you, dammit!"

"Watch your language!" Argh. He so needs to keep a cool head now.

"Mom!" Well… not like this. Better try again. "Do you want to know how it happened or don't you?"

She sighs. "Fine… but no slips of tongue anymore." Good. At least for once he managed the distraction strategy. He really didn't want to get into an argument about being in his mid-thirties and being allowed to use any kind of language he damn well chose.

A little grudgingly he nods. "Right. Anyway… her name… her name is Laura Cadman and she's a Marine."

A confused look. "Didn't you say she is a civilian?" Why couldn't he have a mother who is less perceptive and who didn't listen so well to him if she chose to?

Holding back a sigh, he replies, "And she is. Well, technically. But there's no such thing as a former Marine, you know."

She waves her hand dismissively. "Technicalities."

It makes him grin a little… until he remembers what _Laura_ would say to that. "Don't let her hear that." Oh great. He really shouldn't have said that. Because that just gave him the idea that he could maybe arrange a little excursion for his mother to meet Laura in Pasadena… mh… seeing Laura again before going back to Atlantis…

"Whatever you say. Do I get the whole story now?" He blinks a little. Okay, no more thinking about meeting Laura again now. Concentrate on the task, soldier.

To cover up his slight absentmindedness, he replies a little gruffly, "Not if you continue interrupting me." She just rolls her eyes. Oh well. On to the hard part then. "Anyway… it happened… on the base." His mother already wants to say something but he manages to hold up his hand before she can even open her mouth. "I don't want to hear _anything_, mom." Pressing her lips together, his mother just shoots him an annoyed glare but lets him continue. "We were both off-duty, we were both just a little bit too drunk and one moment we were kind of flirting with each other and in the next I find myself waking up beside a little red-haired Lieutenant that used to be something close to a friend."

He wishes she wouldn't have made him tell her that. Every time he remembers waking up beside Laura that morning, the strange mixture of surprise, horror, confusion… and just a little bit of genuine satisfaction and affection is back again. That and the sudden knowledge that he probably just ruined something that could have been a great friendship. His mother seems to have seen that telling her his story did more to him than she had expected because she sounds much more subdued when she asks him, "Close to a friend?"

He sighs. "As close to a friend as subordinate and CO can get without people starting to throw them strange looks."

More eye rolling. "Will I ever get a straight answer to that?"

Now he can't help grinning just a little bit. "Maybe."

"Thought so." A little disgruntled look but she takes up the knife again to continue chopping the vegetables. Obviously… the storm is over. Well, for now. "When did you find out about her pregnancy?"

A little bold, he manages to steal a piece of carrot from her and starts munching on it. Between bites, he tells his mother the story in a nutshell, "A month about ago. A civilian scientist told me about it. I confronted our CO with it and he told me she didn't want me to know back when she handed in that transfer request. Mom… first thing I did was grill her friends about her whereabouts and first chance I got I handed in a request for leave to get there. I swear, I never even thought about contemplating not acting on my responsibility." And he really didn't. The moment Katie Brown had told him that Laura was pregnant he'd known he needed to see her, for so many reasons. He'd never even _thought_ about _not_ calling her.

Waving her knife around a little his mother says, "I didn't expect anything less of you, Evan. So did you see her?"

Of course she would ask that. He nods, after stealing just _another_ piece of carrot and narrowly escaping his mother's knife. "Yes. She lives in Pasadena now, doing post-grad work on a doctorate in chemistry."

That brings a smile to his mother's face for some reason. "Smart girl?"

That makes him smile as well. "_Very_ smart girl." To counter that unreasonable amount of pride welling up inside of him, he adds, "Most of the time, at least." It's true. There are _some_ situations where he seriously doubted Laura's intelligence… like, for example, when she tried to refuse his help. But yeah, an overwhelming amount of time it almost scares him how smart Laura can be. "Funny, too. Hell of a soldier. And… beautiful." Argh.

"You like her." The little smile on his mother's face has widened into a teasing grin.

He huffs, "She'll be the mother of my children. Of _course_ I like her." And _another_ blunder. Maybe he should just keep his mouth shut entirely in his mother's vicinity.

"Of course you… wait… _children_?" For some reason, the utter shock on his mother's face makes up for his irritation about his own blunders… and for his shock at his mother's early wild guess.

But he better play at a little sheepishness now. "Oh… uh… well… yeah."

Eyes still wide in shock. "Evan? What the _hell_?"

It _almost_ makes him laugh out loud but he can cover it up well enough to look serious and hold up his index finger. "Language, mom."

She grimaces. "Very funny. Now… go on, give me the rest. Talk your old mom into an early grave."

With a smile that surprises even himself a little in the department of tenderness, he replies, "It's twins, mom. Laura's expecting twins."

After a moment where she doesn't really know what to say, his mother just shakes her head a little resignedly and sighs, "Right. Twins. Son… when you do something… you don't ever do it halfway, do you?" He can only shake his head, grinning. And for the first time he allows himself to think freely and without a bad conscious of those kids and their mother that he has seen so much of for the last week. He thinks about talking for hours with Laura about everything from her studies to the latest Atlantis gossip, he thinks about that one time she took him back to his motel and they kind of ended up on his bed and talked for so long that she ended up asleep beside him, he thinks about arguing about carrying her grocery bags for her… and he thinks about seeing the twins… _his_ twins on the ultrasound monitor for the first time. "Hey! Earth to Major Lorne. Care to tell me into which galaxy you just vanished?"

He blinks again. Dammit. _No_ thinking of Laura anymore. Friends. That's all. _Friends_. With kids, granted, but _friends_. "Sorry, just thinking about some work-related stuff. What did you just say?" She looks at him and that clearly tells him 'Work related, my ass,' but she chooses not to dwell on it.

"I just asked how you imagine your future. You and your Laura, I mean." His first instinct is to snap at his mother that it's not _his_ Laura but he remembers just in time that this would just add fuel to the fire.

Her question was complicated enough anyway. He rubs his neck. "Well… Guess I'll transfer back stateside and then we'll see about everything else."

Something looking suspiciously like relief and a little bit of genuine joy crosses his mother's face and once again he feels a stab of guilt at leaving her all alone and in the dark about what he's actually doing just for the sake of his career. And _another_ stab of guilt because there are now three more people who are or will be worried about him when he's away… maybe even _more_ worried because at least Laura knows exactly what he's facing every day in the Pegasus galaxy.

His mother is now done chopping the vegetables and has turned to peeling the potatoes. Without a word, he takes up a knife of his own and starts helping his mother. "About time you lend me a hand here, son." He resists the temptation to stick out his tongue and keeps peeling. "Just let me guess: You haven't told Laura about your decision yet, huh?" God, are _all_ moms like that? And can that reading thoughts thing also work on _other_ people than just their kids? If so… he'll be _so_ screwed once Laura gave birth to the twins.

Careful to concentrate on his potato, he replies, "No, I didn't. And yes, I have a reason for that." Keep on peeling, don't look at your mother… you really don't want to see the smugness there right now. "I just… have to find the right way to tell her. She'll see my reasoning, I'm sure."

"She'll refuse to see it if she feels excluded from your decision." Of course she will. But that's _his_ job and _his_ career and it's his fucking _right_ to give it another bend if he chooses to. "Evan, seriously, this girl sounds like someone who doesn't take crap from anyone and who doesn't like anyone to steamroll her." Just like you, mom, he nearly says but can hold his tongue just in time.

"Mom… trust me. I'll get it to work. I mean… I got her to accept my help, so…" His mother snorts.

"Son… you had to _convince_ her to take your help and you seriously think you'll get her to accept that you throw away your career for her without even _asking_ her first?" He growls.

"I am _not_ throwing away my career, mom." Even though he keeps his eyes on the potatoes, he can mentally see her rolling her eyes.

"From a certain point of view, you are. And she'll see exactly that point. She'll also be afraid that sooner or later you'll regret your decision… and somehow blame it on her." He feels a slight shudder coming up… just how much exactly did his mother keep from him about the time before his father left their then very young family?

"Look, mom…" He can hear his mother put away her knife again and feels compelled to look at her again.

"Mark my words, Evan; she'll give you hell if you don't give her a chance to get used to this decision." Fuzzy memories from his childhood come back, of fights between his mother and his grandparents, scraps about having driven her husband out of the house and having been miserable with a frustrated career lawyer… but he isn't like that. He'll _never_ make Laura feel like it's her fault that he didn't stay as long in Atlantis as it would have been best for his career. She's smart enough to see that, he's sure of that.

But because he doesn't want to argue any more with his mother, he just picks up the knife and the potato again and concedes, "I'll think about it, mom." And then he remembers a fleeting thought from sometime ago. "And mom… speaking of which… I thought that maybe… you might want to meet her?" Well… that question mark wasn't supposed to appear there. And… that suggestion wasn't supposed to be spoken aloud. Did he just trick himself into trying to see Laura again?

She smirks. "Pasadena's… what, 5 hours from here?"

He grins a little sheepishly. "Look, we don't have to go there _now_. But I could phone her and maybe arrange something… how about a little road trip, just you and me?"

"Of course that's not just an excuse to call her… or maybe even see her," his mother says matter-of-factly and with no hint of sarcasm but he knows _exactly_ how she meant that. And accordingly feels himself blushing heavily. Oh God, he's _so_ in trouble if Laura ever develops all these skills as well. "But you're right I _do_ want to meet her. A woman that's got you so wound up… and who has the gut to refuse _your_ help… yeah, that's someone I'd really like to meet. Go on, call her."

For _just_ a moment he's ready to jump up and race to the phone but then he remembers he's in his mid-thirties, 2IC of an international forward operating base in another galaxy and about to become a father of twins and _not_ a 16 year old. He forces himself to keep peeling potatoes. "Nah, no need to hurry. She'll still be there after lunch."

"I'm sure she will. And you might want to leave some potatoes for eating, son." With a smirk his mother picks the potato he'd just nearly massacred out of his hand and keeps on preparing lunch, almost elegantly keeping him from doing any more helping. Ever since she agreed to visit Laura with him… he isn't much help anyway because his thoughts are not really in this kitchen anymore. They're in Pasadena and he's given up fighting against them by now. They're far too nice for that anyway.


	59. 004 Insides

**A/N:** And we're still in the Twiniverse (and we will stay there for quite some time... it's all **mac**'s fault!). This one takes place between "Drink" and "Pride". Sorry for doing a little timeline hopping with this 'verse but the bunnies refuse to come in the right order :S (and yes, you will get the meeting between Laura and Evan's mother... just give me a little time to figure out how to do it right?). Oh, and it's good to know that **asugar** keeps reading (I miss your reviews :S) and that all you others still keep reading. Nothing like feedback (and a determined beta) to keep an author going :)

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Prompt: 004 Insides

**Two means three**

"_One means none and we're home free  
two means three and a diamond ring  
yeah I wonder what fate is gonna decide  
we're just sittin' around waiting on two pink lines  
sitting around waiting on two pink lines."_

_Eric Church, "Two Pink Lines"_

She doesn't want to go back to where Laura is waiting since Katie brought her here… or rather _dragged_ her here. She knows she has to eventually but she really doesn't want to. She has run the tests four times now and they always have the same results and that's the reason why she doesn't want to go back out there. They will devastate or at least seriously disturb Laura – even though she has the distinct feeling that deep down Laura already knows the results – and she doesn't want to do that to a friend.

But she's also Laura's doctor and she can't keep lingering on here for all eternity because by now Laura will be burning with impatience. She also has other patients she needs to attend to… and besides quite _technically_ the news she has to bring Laura is _good_. Drawing a deep breath, she pciks up her datapad again and makes her way to the gurney she left Laura sitting on. She had drawn the curtain around her because she had had the feeling that Laura would want some privacy.

When she opens the curtain Laura looks up and she can tell that she tries to look like nothing could disturb her but she knows her too well to really believe that. Underneath the bravado and the levity, Laura is terribly nervous and just plain miserable. For a moment, she doesn't know what to say, so she stalls a little by meticulously closing the curtain again. But then she really can't escape it anymore and clears her throat. "Well… seems like your tour is going to end prematurely."

At that, she sees Laura opening her mouth to quip something back but then swallowing, as if she has an especially big lump in her throat and instantly she's sorry for breaking the news to her like _that_. Damn, her bedside manner used to be better. Telling a career soldier like Laura that her tour is going to end… not really clever. She hastens to add, "I'm sorry, Laura." And she really is. She'd love to be happy for Laura but the way she reacts… this was certainly _not_ planned. "But… you know as well as I that pregnant soldiers aren't allowed to serve on… what do you call them? Forward operating bases?"

All Laura does is nod. Of course she knows that. They even once talked about wanting kids and Laura told her that she'd love to have some, but that at the moment it was much more important for her to be here and do all the extraordinary stuff she gets to do here. And then she had shrugged and said that even if she _wanted_ to have kids now she didn't know a guy she could have them with, anyway. Which is why, quite frankly, the test results surprised her.

She waits for an answer from Laura but all she gets is a "Yeah, I know," through gritted teeth. Also Laura's posture has become quite rigid and her knuckles have turned white because she's gripping the railing of the gurney very hard. Her face has turned an unnatural pallor and that tells her that Laura is possibly about to get sick. For some reason… she doesn't think that it has to do with the pregnancy, or at least not with how her body reacts to it. Most probably, it's more about how Laura's _mind_ reacts to her.

Usually… usually she wouldn't outright suggest it but this is her friend… and she takes pity on her. "You know… there's still the possibility of… well…"

But even before she gets to actually finish that thought, Laura fiercely cuts in, "No. No way I'll do that." The suddenness and fierceness of it surprises and even shocks her because until now she thought it was simply about Laura's career and because Laura never struck her as someone overly religious or conservative. She wonders… where this decision comes from but has the feeling that Laura wouldn't tell her anyway.

So she forces herself not to dwell on it, clears her throat and says, "Alright, it's your decision. Well then… I need to do some more tests and then I'll send the report to Sam, Colonel Sheppard and Major Lorne…"

Laura's very expressive face tells her very clearly that _something_ about what she just said does _not_ agree with her and it just adds to her confusion. It also makes the question about this baby's _father_ become more pressing. She knows she shouldn't ask and that it's not her business anyway but she can't help wondering.

Before she can get to that, though, Laura beats her to it, asking, "Jennifer… can I ask you a favor?"

Confused she looks at Laura. Where is this going? "Uh… sure. Well, as long as it's nothing illegal, you know."

"Actually… it's not illegal _per se_. It's just that… could you wait with the reports until I've talked to Colonel Carter and Colonel Sheppard?" A little warily and hesitantly she nods. She can understand that, at least – Laura wanting to talk to Sam and John first, to make herself understood. Laura takes another deep breath. Uh-oh. "And… and could you please… not give any report to Major Lorne?"

What the hell? Laura isn't really demanding of her that she withhold such information from one of her _COs_, is she? She's really been long enough in Atlantis to know enough about the military that _this_ is not actually standard procedure. "Laura, I said nothing illegal!"

"And it's not! I mean… not really. Look, Jennifer… I've got a good reason for asking that." A good reason… could it be that…? Nah, that's impossible, isn't it? So what else… Determined to get her answer, she crosses her arms and throws Laura a stern look.

"Yeah, _that_ is a reason I'd really like to know." Laura starts to look _really_ uncomfortable and she starts to feel sympathetic again. Something about this whole pregnancy thing really gets to her and she's almost positive that's it not just about her career. Another hint is that Laura swallows again but instead of giving her an answer; suddenly tears start to spill over her cheeks.

Okay, _that_ is really disturbing. As long as she has known Laura, she has _never_ seen her crying. Not in the worst of situations. Never. Not with an arrow stuck in her thigh, not when she was only barely alive when she got delivered into the infirmary… never. When she hears something very close to a sob come from Laura, she knows this isn't a doctor's job anymore. What Laura now needs is a _friend_.

She sits down beside Laura and for lack of a better idea; she puts her arm around Laura's shoulder and hugs her close. Somehow she knows the key to Laura's misery is in the reason why she shouldn't tell Major Lorne and so she says softly, "Tell me, Laura. Not as your doctor, but as your friend. I promise, I won't tell _anyone_… just tell me why Major Lorne shouldn't get this report."

Laura doesn't respond immediately, but heaves another almost sob and seems to be very hesitant about it. Then, after endless moments of obvious contemplation she finally says, very, very softly, "He… he's the father, Jen. That's why he shouldn't… he _can't_ know about it."

That… is impossible. It's just impossible. Laura and Major Lorne… just no. He's her superior and Laura would never be so stupid as to sleep with one of those. And _Major Lorne_ would _never_ sleep with one of his soldiers. Right?

Right. He would never sleep with one of his soldiers… unless he happens to be attracted to them, maybe. Like, for example, he was attracted to Laura at Captain Hayley's birthday party – she's still not sure if anything didn't happen between them after Major Lorne had half dragged her to her quarters – or just _every_ time she watched them together or… two weeks ago. Dr. Ariano's three year anniversary in Atlantis. Of course; she should have known. Right in the moment the test results told her Laura is about two weeks along… She can't help but burst out, "God, _Laura_! He _has_ to know!"

But Laura just shakes her head, still trying to wipe away the tears that just won't stop. "No. Look, Jen… it was _my_ mistake and it's enough that _my_ career is practically at its end. And … God, just think what it would do to _his_ career if somehow got out that he screwed a junior officer." She finally starts to get an inkling as to why Laura is so strictly against terminating this pregnancy now. If she got that right, the thing between Laura and Major Lorne was just a one-night stand – it had to be, considering that she hasn't seen them interacting with each other for two full weeks… exactly since the morning after Dr. Ariano's party – and it wasn't entirely intentional. She probably thinks that it may have been her mistake but that the _kid_ isn't to blame.

But that's still no reason to keep Major Lorne from knowing about this. "Still… Laura, I don't think he'd give you a hard time." It's true. Major Lorne always struck her as a very honorable man. In fact… in fact Laura probably stumbled over one of the very few men where it could turn out to be a very fortunate thing to get accidentally pregnant from.

However, Laura shakes her head. "It's not about giving me a hard time, Jen. It's about him getting in trouble because of a mistake _I_ made. I _knew_ everything is always a little mixed up when I get back from Earth and that it always takes a few weeks for contraception to work properly again. I'm just such an _idiot_." What surprises her is that… Laura thinks she was an idiot because she didn't think of the risks… not because she slept with Major Lorne. She wonders if Laura even noticed that.

It's also one more reason why she thinks Laura should _tell_ the Major. She just has the feeling that she shouldn't actually say that because Laura doesn't seem to be in the shape or in the mood to discuss her feelings for a certain Major so she needs _another_ reason she can bring up. "Laura… most of all he has a _right_ to know that he's going to be a father. And If I were you… I'd be happy about all the support I can get."

That makes Laura snort and give a little humorless laugh. "Can't expect support when I ruined his career, don't you think?" She wonders what exactly makes Laura think that Major Lorne's career would be ruined with this. Granted, there's this whole non-fraternization issue… but wouldn't there be a way around all of that? There _has_ to be… doesn't there? And the other thing that confuses her is why Laura is so very concerned about the Major's career… almost more concerned than about her own.

Oh, well. "Laura… what's this whole thing with his career? Shouldn't it be _his_ decision what he does about it?"

Fervently, she shakes her head. "No, Jen, you just don't get it." No, she certainly doesn't. "I… okay, _we_ made a mistake. A little one… being drunk, flirting, ending up in his quarters… you know the drill. None of that would have been really a problem – well, apart from the fact that we ruined a good working relationship and something like a friendship – because we were _both_ responsible for it and we _both_ knew the preconditions."

Okay, so far she can follow. She nods and warily indicates for Laura to continue. "Becoming pregnant… was _not_ part of the plan. And… he didn't know it could happen. I told him I'm on the pill and I just… I forgot about the whole mix-up thing. Ruining your career knowing full well what you're doing… okay. Having your career ruined because someone forgot to _think_… _not_ okay." Right. She thinks she knows what Laura's problem ist. In Laura's mind, Major Lorne isn't responsible. The only one responsible is herself and… could it be that she feels ashamed? Could it be that Laura the Great – self-assured, cocky, audacious – is horrified at the thought of having made a mistake that might affect someone else as well?

And it seems as if she's very determined to go through with this – keep the child, but tell no one who the father is, not even the father himself. She's _positive_ that this is a hell of a mistake and that Laura and Major Lorne could find a way, if Laura wasn't so damn fixated on being a martyr here and shouldering all the blame alone. But as it is… sometimes she has to accept other people's decision, both as a friend and as a doctor. She sighs. "Laura… just for the record: I think you're making a mistake here. However, I'll… I'll do this. Because you're a friend and I don't let friends down. Just… promise you will think this over. Some day… this kid might start asking question about his or her father."

That was a low blow, she knows it, but she's a bit of a romantic and a sucker for happy endings… and she wants this happy ending for her friend so very much. She just hopes that this last remark _might_ serve to make Laura think. Indeed, it makes Laura heave a long sigh. "Let… that be my concern, okay? Look, I do appreciate what you do for me and I'll never forget it but… there will be no thinking this over."

Laura wipes her hand over her face and obviously feels like she needs to add something, "Jen… he's my antithesis. He never makes a wrong step," except hopping into bed with one his subordinates, she wants to say, but Laura doesn't let her cut in, "he's… he's Mr. UCMJ Personified," yeah, he _was_, until _you_ came along, is her thought at that, "he's got a _brilliant_ career in front of him. I guess, _my_ big mouth would prevent any real advancement, so it's not _that_ much of a loss." Laura shrugs at that and tries very hard to appear casual about it all… and it hurts her to hear her friend talk like that. There's no way Laura can disguise how this very unexpected change in her life affects her and she wishes Laura would be honest about it so she could comfort her.

So she feels compelled to at least try, "Laura…" you know, that's not true, she wants to say but Laura doesn't let her.

"God, Jen, please don't tell _anyone_ but… it would break my heart at least a little if he couldn't be what he's meant to be because of me." And _finally_ everything makes perfect sense. It's not what she expected to hear but it explains a _lot_. It also makes her heart ache even more for her friend because it's clear that _Laura_ thinks that she means nothing to Major Lorne – maybe that's even true and maybe it's just her inner romantic but something tells her that Laura might be wrong with her assessment – and that he would look down on her for what happened, blame her or maybe even hate her for it.

She wishes she could make Laura see that things might not be how she thinks they are and that she should give herself a few days to calm down… but once Laura made a decision, she sticks with it, especially with _this_ kind of decision. She gives her friend another comforting hug. "It's gonna be okay. It might not look like it right now but I'm sure things will right themselves." And for a fleeting moment she has a very evil thought… maybe she promised not to give Major Lorne her report… but she never said she wouldn't _talk_ to him about this.

There's another deep breath from Laura and then she straightens up, every inch a Marine again. "Right. Of course. Now… I better talk to Colonels Carter and Sheppard, huh?" Yeah, gone is the vulnerable, insecure young woman, replaced by the usual big-mouthed, no-nonsense Marine. She resists a sigh.

"Yeah, probably. Tell me when you're done so I can give them the report, huh?" Laura nods and turns to leave the cubicle.

"Sure. And… it's a promise, Jen. No report, no talking… no nothing." Damn, there goes her opportunity at being a good fairy. Oh well, she'll find another one, she's sure of that. Laura might think everything's cleared but this isn't over yet.

However, better not draw any attention to that now. "I promise, Laura. But if you change your mind…"

"I won't." Okay, it was worth a try. "Anyway… thanks, Jen. For… everything." She nods and with that, Laura finally turns to go. And in her head… she's already fervently going through possible ways to give this another outcome…

"Excuse me… Dr. Keller… Could you look at this for me, please? I have the feeling I might have stumbled over a very fascinating poisonous plant on M6I-745…" Or maybe that will have to wait until she took care of Dr. Parrish. But after that, she'll _definitely_ think of something.


	60. 005 Outsides

**A/N:** And we have another installment of the Twiniverse (taking place after "Prejudice" and the meeting of Laura and Evan's mom). I _did _warn you that there would be more ;) However... Would you like a break (ie. in case **mac** hasn't resigned from beta duty because of the last story I wrote and sent to her...) and another story before I start publishing Twiniverse again or do you want them all in a rush (even with the timeline totally jumbled)? I'm just asking because I have only two more and those are bunnies I'd like to publish at a later point... So?

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Prompt: 005 Outsides

**There goes my future**

"_And he said  
there goes my life  
there goes my future, my everything  
might as well kiss it all good-bye  
there goes my life..__."_

_Kenny Chesney, "There goes my life"_

"So… you're sure about this?"

The man he just addressed turns around, nods and makes a face that's just a little resigned but doesn't say anything. Yeah, he'd expected Major Lorne to be smart – and honest – enough not to pretend he has no idea what his CO is talking about. He walks up to his 2IC, with two bottles of beer in his hand… almost like a peace offering. Not that their first conversation about Lorne's request to be transferred back to Earth had gone _awry_ or anything… but it was still very tangible that he wasn't exactly _happy_ about having to let Lorne go. And about feeling like Lorne didn't tell him the _whole_ truth about why he wanted to leave all of a sudden.

When he reaches the balcony's railing and has come to stand beside Lorne, he clears his throat and simply holds one of the bottles out to him. After a moment of hesitation, Lorne takes it and takes a tentative sip. Well… that didn't get him really far. Why does Lorne have to be such a private man, anyway? With that man, he always feels like he's prying when talking about something that's only remotely personal.

He takes a sip himself, to stall and to fumble around for something that would get the Major to talk better than "You're sure about this?" Maybe something that requires more than just "Yes" or "No" as an answer… "To be honest… I'm gonna miss it, sir."

Huh? He clears his throat to cover up his confusion. "Uh… miss _what_, Major?"

Lorne throws him a look that says clearly that he's wondering about where his CO's brain just went but keeps his voice level when he replies, "Atlantis, sir. I'm… gonna miss it."

The Major makes sure not to look him in the eye when he says that but he can still see that Lorne _means_ that. Which only adds to his feeling that Lorne is holding something back from him. He _knows_ he should probably keep his hands off that one like for example he kept his hands off asking who fathered the kid that made Cadman resign or like he keeps his hands off asking why Teyla's visits to her people have become much more frequent in the last few weeks or like he keeps his hands off asking Sam why she is always just a little bit disappointed when the mail from home arrives.

But maybe he's just _tired_ of keeping his hands off asking people about stuff that changes them or upsets them. So… alright, frontal assault. "Then why are you so intent on _leaving_ it?"

"I thought that was in my request, sir." It's not a question, it's a statement; calm, collected, controlled. And it's _this_ that tells him that there _is_ more to it than just the wish for a change of scenery. Of course that's not how Lorne had phrased it but that's what it _said_.

He's had enough of Lorne's careful phrasing and tiptoeing around the issue now, though. "Your request, Major, was a load of bullshit." Lorne _almost_ winces. "You don't really think I'm stupid enough to believe it, right?" Actually… he'd not put it beyond Lorne to say exactly that, only of course in that polite and just slightly sarcastic way of his.

However… for a while the Major says nothing at all and just when he's about to completely lose his patience, Lorne rubs his hand over his face and then his neck. "Sir… I'm sorry for… not giving _all_ my reasons but I think it would be better if you'd not… dwell on it." Whoa. Lorne looks actually _distressed_ now. Unfortunately, that only serves as fuel to the fire for his curiosity. Maybe back to cautiously approaching the subject, though.

"Look… Major, I don't want to interrogate you or anything. It's just that… if I gotta let my second in command go at least I want to know _why_." It's true. He doesn't really want to let Lorne go – mostly because he has the feeling he won't find another second in command so willing and able to put up with him again – and if he has to, at least he wants to make sure it's for more than just a change of scenery.

Lorne takes a sip from his bottle and then a long, deep breath. Then, "I… understand that. It's just… sir, this isn't just about me. If I tell you… _promise_ me not to talk about it to anyone else?" Oh. He's _protecting_ someone? Someone who obviously means a _lot_ to him… just like Cadman gave him the feeling that she didn't want to talk about the father of her child because she was trying to protect that someone…

He nods. And he doesn't only say that to get Lorne to talk but because he means it. If Lorne was prepared to practically _lie_ to his superior to protect someone it surely isn't trivial. "Yeah, I will. Now, tell me?"

The Major takes another deep breath. "I don't even know how to begin… Sir, I'm… I'm going to be a father in about three months."

Wham. Holy _crap_. And suddenly… _all_ the pieces fall into place, just like that. Why Cadman had asked him to keep it to himself that she was pregnant, not even tell Lorne, even if he should have known; why Katie Brown had known Cadman was pregnant, even though she had made the impression that she hadn't told anyone beside Keller, Sam and him; why Lorne almost had almost gone off on him for not telling him why Cadman resigned… Good _God_, he should have seen _that_ one coming.

"Well… uh… congratulations, Major." There's a look of confusion from Lorne and then a little chuckle, as if he saw that his CO had drawn the conclusions all on his own.

"Thanks, sir. But… you see why… I couldn't state anything in the official request, right?" Yeah… yeah, he does. Huh. Here he had already been wondering when Lorne and Cadman would get it on before she left and it didn't seem like there had been anything. Of course he'd seen that a few weeks prior to her leaving, there had been practically no contact between Lorne and Cadman anymore. Yeah, that should have made him suspicious, after observing the two becoming closer almost by the day for a few months. And he's suddenly glad Cadman already left months ago. At least now there's still a chance no one will ever start certain… investigations.

He sighs. "Yeah, I do. Do I even want to know how it happened?" Of course he does but he also knows that he should respect his 2IC's privacy.

Lorne presses his lips tightly together. Ah… maybe not a good story. But then again… the silence between the two and the way Cadman had been uncomfortable about speaking about her kid's father… kind of a dead give-away. "Let's just say that… you might want to rethink our approach to enforcing the no alcohol policy, sir."

Ouch. And… whoa. Who would have thought that _Evan Lorne_ of all people would be so susceptible to the powers of alcohol and a little flirtation? Because flirt they did, he can testify to _that_. Yeah… yeah… he _really_ should have seen that one coming… and he should have done something about it. Oh well. That calls for a long, nice draw from the bottle. After he's done with that, he says, "Right. And now you're doing the honorable thing or what?"

Again… not a good question. For a moment it even looks like there's hurt washing over Lorne's face but he gets a grip on himself so fast that he's not even sure if he really saw that one. "Not… really. In fact… she made me promise _not_ to ask her to marry me. But… she agreed to share custody of the kids with me and even let me help her a little."

Yeah, that sounds very much like Cadman… having to be _convinced_ to… wait. "Kids? As in… more than one?"

Lorne has a look that's almost sheepish on his face now. "Yeah… uh… Laura… I mean, Cadman is expecting twins." Then he gives him a grin that makes him wonder if Lorne didn't make that "blunder" on purpose, just to see how his CO would react to it. "Actually, that's more or less how my mother reacted to the news, sir."

"Ha, ha, very funny." Honestly, comparing your CO to your mother? So not proper military behavior. But neither is drunkenly screwing around with one of your Marines. It's just a little bit weird that he's now discovering some sides of his 2IC he never thought he'd see.

"Oh, I think it is. Just a little bit, I mean." Just for once Lorne managed to turn tables on him. Oh well.

"Yeah, well, don't tell me _you_ weren't surprised by the news when you spoke to her," he replies a little disgruntled and to his satisfaction, Lorne looks just a little bit embarrassed.

"Actually… that nearly gave me a heart attack." It makes both of them snort and then grin because for some reason he can very well imagine how Lorne must have felt. "That was probably pay back for the way I got her to agree to let me help."

Mh. Sounds like Lorne had an _interesting_ week of leave. After all, you don't get told that you'll be the father of twins in three months every day. However… there's one thing he still doesn't get. "Major… tell me one more thing? If she doesn't want to marry you… and if she only agreed reluctantly… why the hell give up Atlantis?"

Lorne lets his gaze swerve over the open sea, the two moons, the lights of the city… until he settles with, "See… I want to be a good father to my kids, no matter the circumstances everything happened under. And you can't be a good father from a galaxy away, as hard as you may try to." Well, that makes sense, at least for a man like Lorne. Still… he feels like there's more behind it than just wanting to be close to his kids. Something… something that Lorne isn't really aware of himself, maybe. Well… yet. Again he remembers the way Lorne and Cadman were treating each other before that _thing_ happened and where it would have maybe led them if alcohol hadn't hurried what might have happened in its own time had they waited for their tours to end.

But he has pried enough for today, and it's actually a wonder Lorne gave him so much about the kids. Asking him about _Cadman_… that would be too much for one day. Maybe he'll wait until he hears from Lorne again after he's back at home… or maybe he could make _Teyla_ try and get something more out of him… well, there's a thought now. "I see your point, Major. Well, then… don't forget to send some pictures once the kids are born, huh?"

He'd meant it as a casual remark and so is surprised that there's some hesitation and thinking on Lorne's face… and then the Major reaches into his jacket to pull something from the inside pocket. It's some piece of paper, folded and a little crumpled… "Actually… if you want to… you can have an exclusive first look now, sir." He just raises his eyebrow and Lorne moves to unfold it. At first glance all he sees are black and white shadows, not really a picture… And then it hits him. Right. Ultrasound picture.

He looks into Lorne's face again and is surprised at the pride and anticipation that crept onto his face. Until now he still had had the suspicion that Lorne didn't really _want_ to quit Atlantis for the kids, just did it because he thought it was the right thing… now he realizes that for Lorne there are indeed things more important than his career, even if they weren't expected or at least planned. He clears his throat, takes a sip from his bottle. Then he asks, "So… that's the twins, huh? Two girls? Boys?"

Lorne points first to the right one and then to the left one. "Girl… and a boy." He can't help make an appreciative face. Well, and after that he can only barely resist a sympathetic look. If even only _one_ of those kids is like Cadman… Lorne will have his hands full his whole life. But it's the pride and the hope and the genuine joy that Lorne can't fully hide that make him abstain from any negative or sarcastic remarks or even looks.

Instead he simply asks, "You already picked out names?"

The Major makes a face. "Well… _she_ did, anyway. And no, I won't tell you. I value my life and my… masculinity too much for that." Whoa. Seems like Cadman is _very_ intent on keeping the names a secret.

He can't help teasing the Major a little, though. "What, afraid of a little pregnant Lieutenant, Major?"

"She nearly cut off my balls when I told her about my decision to leave Atlantis, sir," Lorne answers matter-of-factly and absolutely straight-faced and that's what tells him that she really nearly _did_. So better not laugh about it.

Instead he clears his throat and says, "Right. It wouldn't help much if I told you she was right to do it, huh?" Because he his this feeling that Lorne didn't _ask_ Cadman about this but indeed simply presented her with a fait accompli. Of course that was probably the only way of getting through with it anyway but still… it takes a lot of guts to even try it. That Lorne walked away from it, still standing upright… wow.

And Lorne knows that. "No, sir, not a bit. Anyway, I uh… I need to go back to the paperwork, sir. Wouldn't want to leave behind anything unfinished when the _Daedalus_ arrives, huh?" Uh-huh, yeah, sure. It's still a week until the _Daedalus_ will arrive and he's almost positive that Lorne is already done with all the leftover paperwork. He just needs an excuse to get out of this interrogation.

Well… maybe he should let him go, then. He knows what he wanted to know anyway so no more reason to make Lorne uncomfortable. And anyway… wasn't there a data burst with mail from home just this afternoon when Lorne had been giving jumper flying lessons to a couple of scientists?

"Of course not. You're free to leave." And read the e-mail you pretend you haven't been waiting for the whole day; he wants to add but remembers his resolution _not_ to dwell on the topic of Cadman too much tonight.

Lorne nods and turns to leave. "Thank you, sir. Oh, and thanks for the beer. See you tomorrow then."

He nods as well. "I suppose. Night, Major." Lorne also wishes him a good night as well and then starts walking out of the mess hall at a pace that's way too measured _not_ to betray that there's a man looking forward his mail. It raises a smile from him as he turns back to look at the sea just a little more. Well then, now that he finally got behind the Major's secret… maybe he should just corner Teyla as well and worm it out of her why her visits to her people have become much more frequent… even though he has the feeling that he actually doesn't really want to know it.


	61. 058 Dinner

**A/N:** Okay, I know I promised more Twiniverse pieces but **mac** started her summer job and is _very _busy right now so it might take a while until she has betaed the Twiniverse pieces that are still waiting. I hope you can contend yourselves for a while with another tiny little piece from the universe I created in "Family" and "Parents" :)

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Prompt: 058 Dinner

**The bricks of my defens****es**

"_Inside, I built a wall  
So high around my heart, I thought I'd never fall__  
One touch, you brought it down  
The bricks of my defenses scattered on the ground."_

_Kenny Chesney, "You had me from Hello"_

China is clanging in the kitchen and he can hear two boys' voices chattering away while another female voice chimes in now and then to appraise one of the boys' stories about their day or tell them where to put what. Hearing that makes him smile even though it's still quite unfamiliar for him to hear such sounds coming out of his kitchen.

He hesitates a little before announcing his presence and walking into the kitchen because the animated babble from the kitchen tells him that Laura's boys are really excited about surprising him. It makes his heart skip a beat because only three months ago… things had been a _lot_ different. Those three months ago… Laura's boys – especially Marcus, the eldest – had had difficulties accepting him in their mother's life.

It has taken him these three months to convince stubborn Marcus and shy Andrew that he wouldn't hurt their mother… or them. That had been a mighty piece of work, most of all because before _that_ it had taken him another six months to get over his reservations and doubts and it had taken _Laura_ these six months to learn to trust him and let him past the defenses that had made it possible for her to survive for over a year with her violent husband before bundling up the kids, driving through three states in as many days and finally standing before his door.

She'd taken up a posting at the SGC again, though not on a team because she was afraid her children would have to go back to her husband if something happened to her as long as her divorce wasn't through. Step by step, they had become closer again, dancing around each other because of a million things… the kids, their professional situation – they weren't exactly superior and subordinate but in an environment like the SGC you had to be careful with that kind of relationship in _every_ position – their often mismatched schedules… But in the end, that had all been excuses to cover up his insecurities and the walls around her heart.

He smiles again, still listening to the commotion in his kitchen – it sounds a lot like Laura isn't only letting the little guys set the table but also doing some of the cooking – and also remembering the day they had finally overcome the obstacles others – and most of all themselves – had thrown in their way. It had been nothing big, no dangerous incident that had suddenly given them an epiphany or anything and – thankfully – no strange alien device, invasion or otherwise extraterrestrial influence… no, it had been an ordinary day.

He'd come into her lab, caught her arguing with some girl from the daycare facility where her sons were staying during her working hours about some thing or other. When she was done, she'd just growled and nearly thrown the phone into a corner, starting to rant about the whole daycare thing which had ended with her leaning her forehead on his shoulder in frustration… and in the next moment they'd been kissing, just like that.

Ever since then... they'd managed to make it work not only as friends, but as a couple, even with all the additional baggage. It still astounds him, though, that this actually happened to _him_. Of course he'd always had the vague notion that some day some woman would come along that would be more than "a casual date" and yeah, there also had been the vague wish to have a family some day but he'd never thought that suddenly he wouldn't only find that this certain woman would be one Lieutenant Cadman but that she would also bring a family along with her already.

Suddenly… he'd found himself in a situation he hadn't been prepared for – not a father for the boys but not a stranger either. That had led to a lot of awkward and strained situations and he'd needed a lot of time to find his place with Laura's sons… to find out if he was actually able to cope with having to share Laura with them right from the start. Also… yes, the thing that they were not _his_ sons had played a role.

Not in that he had been jealous but that he had been afraid to make mistakes and that they would never accept him. He had also found himself wishing very fast that he couldn't only make Laura see that he was nothing like her husband but also her sons that he wouldn't hurt them. And he had also found himself wishing that they would see he wasn't trying to be something for he simply wasn't and they maybe didn't want him to be, either.

He had, though, wanted to be the guy to make this little family happy again, be the one taking Laura to dinner and her sons to a Saturday afternoon game of baseball… or all of them on some day trip to the nearby mountains. For a long time, he even had been unsure if he _could_ be that guy… and if they _wanted_ him to be that guy.

However, the clanging and chatter and laughter from his kitchen tell him that… he _became_ that guy indeed. It makes him smile again and reach into his pocket to close his hand around the little box he had been carrying around for two weeks now. Taking a deep breath, he finally announces his presence and walks through his kitchen's doorway.

As the kids give him a pretty excited welcome, he makes a great show of being all surprised, ruffling hair and giving appropriate shouts of appreciation. After a few more excited moments, he finally finds the time to share a secret smile with Laura and sneaks her a quick kiss without the boys noticing. Then, before courage leaves him again… he reaches into his pocket and says after taking another deep breath, "Laura… there's something I've been meaning to ask you for a couple of weeks now…"  


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**  
A/N #2:** Yeah, go on, kill me for not writing the actual proposal... ;)


	62. 073 Light

**A/N:** I know some of you are waiting for the rest of the Twiniverse pieces but remember: **mac**'s still on her 14 hours a day summer job and that makes betaing new pieces just a _tad _difficult for her. So I decided to post this one because it's been betaed long ago and the only reason I haven't posted it yet is that I need to rework the sequel but then again... better one story out of two than no story ;) So... this is actually a sequel to the story I did on the Senses prompts, so you might want to reread that since it's been a while since I posted it. And now I hope you like this one :)

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Prompt: 073 Light

**Tonight**

"_Nothing's promised in this life  
So I'm thankful that we're here tonight  
Take my hand and let's look up  
At the stars – we can make them ours."_

_Heather Nova, "I wanna be your light"_

It's 0100 and he's just back from a mission, walking through a very quiet Atlantis that has settled in for the night, content with himself and the world. Just for once he brought his team back whole – no one was injured, no one had been captured, no freak accidents… it borders on the miraculous, actually.

He is, however, not really tired yet and so he decides to pay one of the piers a visit, somehow not in the mood for the brightly lit mess hall. He's deep in thought as he enters the West Pier and so at first he doesn't register that on the far end there's already sitting someone. Someone… he hasn't exactly tried to evade the last week but who he doesn't really know how to react to anymore.

So when he finally realizes he isn't alone on the pier because Captain Laura Cadman came here first his first impulse is to turn around and leave, to avoid any situation where he might embarrass himself. Unfortunately she must have heard him approaching because she has already turned around. In the light from the stars and the city, he can first see something like embarrassment and then slight surprise… like when she'd realized who'd been sitting beside her bed for two weeks when she could neither see nor hear.

For a moment, neither of them says anything and suddenly… his ease is gone, having yielded to the strange edginess and clumsiness that has started to engulf him whenever he'd been in her vicinity the last few days. A little forlornly, he rubs his neck, almost ready to go when she slightly bends her head and a faint smile can be seen. "Evening, sir."

Well… now that he's here… he could as well stay, couldn't he? "Evening, Captain." Still a little tense, he sits down beside her, letting his feet dangle over the edge of the pier, while she still keeps her knees drawn up and her arms around them. For a while, they just sit there, looking out on the sea and up at the stars.

He really doesn't want to but he just can't help sneaking a look or two while they sit there in silence. She'd been on light duty the whole last week since her discharge, even though every injury she received when she saved his life has healed nicely. He had met her a couple of times in the mess hall or in corridors, tried to keep up the usual casual non-committal act, smiling at her grumbling about not being allowed back on duty… tried to keep from staring at the hand he held for two weeks whenever he was at her side.

And of course he can't help but stare at the hand again now. It's lying on her knees… in fact; it's the only part of her that's visibly moving. The fingers can't keep still, if only in very small movements. In the two weeks at her bedside… he had learned that her hands always betray Cadman in the end. She can try to look like nothing disturbs her and she has everything under control, but the energy inside of her _always_ has to go _somewhere_ and for some reason with her it's her hands. Okay… something is making her nervous and he _really_ hopes it's not him.

He clears his throat. "So… some special reason you're here tonight, Captain?"

To his surprise she jumps a little – that's not like her, is it? – and clears her throat as well. "Nah… not really. Couldn't sleep… thought I'd try something new beside the mess hall." Couldn't sleep? Before he gets to ask her, though, she continues with pushing attention away from her, "What about you, sir?"

Yeah, what about him? "The same, mostly." And back to silence. With the fingers still moving. Great. She's still uncomfortable and all he wants to do is take that hand again, squeeze it and communicate to her that there's nothing she has to be nervous about, like he always did when something was distressing her back in the infirmary. In a way, he reflects, that had been so much easier than now… where she can see him and has every possibility to tell him to get lost and leave her alone.

Which she still hasn't done and that confuses the hell out of him. Another look, again at the fingers. Alright. He just _has_ to do something about this. Either he leaves now and just forgets about everything that happened ever since she saved his life… or he gets his act together and makes up his mind about what he actually wants. He clears his throat again. "Are you okay, Cadman?"

She takes a breath, wants to say something – he assumes it's something along the lines of "Yeah, sure." – but closes her mouth again. After a few more moments, she makes a face that's just a little resigned and says, "Yeah, I'm okay. Or I will be, in another week or so." He wants to say something, tell her that she can be honest with him and trust him, but again she beats him to it. "Really, sir. It's gonna be okay. Shrink told me I'll stop having trouble sleeping eventually and that I can get back to duty in two or three days."

She makes it sound like it's just a scratch and she'll get over whatever is troubling her as soon as she can gear up and go off-world again but something – probably the fact that he has become very accustomed to her body language during the time she couldn't communicate with them via her voice because she had no way of knowing if she was saying it the right way or if someone would respond to it at all – tells him that there's more to her not sleeping well than just restlessness from being under-worked. "If you say so…"

Dammit, he _really_ wishes he could just go back to sitting down beside her and make her troubles go away with simply touching her. Comforting someone with words never was his forte and he doesn't know how long he can just sit here and watch her wrestling with something that's disturbing her. Actually… actually it would suffice if he _knew_ what's keeping her from sleeping.

He barely keeps from sighing. It used to be so easy to talk to her when she was still just one of his soldiers. As a superior he never had a problem getting his soldiers to talk to him and figuring out what's bothering them. Somewhere along the way, though, Laura Cadman turned into something else for him… something _more_. Maybe it's because he got to see a side of her rarely anyone – maybe not even Carson Beckett – has seen of her. And maybe it's because this side… touched something inside of him, draws him to her, stronger than he should be drawn to any of his soldiers.

"You know, sir… I never actually said thank you." He looks up again. She has her face turned to him, her head laid down on her knees. He finds himself smiling back a little insecure.

"Whatever for?" She turns her head again, puts her hands down on the ground and leans back on them slightly, to look out on the sea again… as if she's too embarrassed with the answer to look right at him.

"For not leaving me alone in the dark." And _finally_ it hits him, almost out of nothing. _That_'s what keeps her from sleeping. She's afraid of darkness… of closing her eyes and waking up with everything dark around her again. That's why she sits out here on the pier, far away enough from everyone who might run into her but still with the city and the stars and the two moons lighting up the night so that she can reassure herself that she hasn't gone back to being blind.

Okay, he thinks, it's now or never. Without even looking for it, he finally reaches out for her hand, puts his own on it, looks at her as her face turns back to him and says, "Anytime… Laura." After a moment of confusion that nearly makes him leave, she smiles back at him and he feels her fingers curl around his, while she stretches out her legs until they dangle over the edge just as his and moves closer to him.

She doesn't say anything, but she doesn't have to anyway because the feeling of their shoulders and thighs touching and the sight of their fingers entwined is all it takes to tell him that whatever had been wrong tonight or in the last few weeks is going to be right again.


	63. 053 Earth

**A/N:** And so we finally have a new Twiniverse-story (takes place between "Pride" and "Prejudice")! Thanks to **mac** for the betaing even though she's really working her ass off... and if she wasn't so set against being in the spotlight I'd now have to stress again what an exceptional beta she is (even though most of the Twinivere stories are her fault ;)). Enjoy :)

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Prompt: 053 Earth

**Touchy subject**

"_Cause that's a touchy subject  
Let's not talk about it  
Right now I can't explain it  
I'm better of without it  
I'm beggin' you please."_

_Billy Ray Cyrus, "Touchy Subject"_

"So… you get any news from Laura?" Jennifer asks and she has to bend her head a little in confusion. Where did that come from? A minute ago they were talking about Dr. Parrish and one of his many escapades and excursions to the infirmary and the next… the next Major Lorne sat down at their table and Jennifer asks something that has _nothing_ to do with what they where just talking about.

And what surprises her even more is that… she thinks she could just see a chink in Major Lorne's armor. Just for a moment – the moment Jennifer said "Laura" – she could see his placid relaxed façade crack and his face contort with something… strange. Hurt? No… that would make no sense. So she chooses to ignore it and turns back to Jennifer. "Oh yes, I got an e-mail just yesterday."

Jennifer smiles brightly at her but Major Lorne… looks very interested in his food all of a sudden. That is strange, she thinks. It's not his usual style to be so… tightlipped during lunch. "Really? I guess I'll have to pick a bone with her for not writing as regularly to _me_."

This is getting stranger and stranger. She knows for sure that Laura writes as regularly to Jennifer as she writes to her. After all, Jennifer isn't only a friend but also the doctor that confirmed her pregnancy. She wants to point this out to Jennifer when Colonel Sheppard puts his tray beside hers and says, "Mind if I sit down, ladies? Major?" They all shake their heads – although Major Lorne looks more and more like he regrets having sat down here of all places – and the Colonel sits down.

She opens her mouth to use her chance to remind Jennifer that she gets mail from Laura as often as she does but Jennifer beats her to it, "Anyway… is she getting better?" What the…? Jennifer should _know_ about that. In fact… the only person that gets half-decent information on Laura's medical condition is Jennifer. _She_ only gets some vague little hints that Laura experienced some _slight_ discomfort a few days ago or was a _little_ irritated last week.

"Well… yes. But you know Laura… it would take a hive ship to make her tell the truth about such things." Did Major Lorne just… flinch? And why did Colonel Sheppard just perk up?

"Laura… as in Laura Cadman, Dr. Brown?" She nods. "Oh. So how's she doing? She should be pretty far along now, shouldn't she?" And in the same moment Colonel Sheppard says that he seems to have realized he wasn't supposed to say that. What's this all about?

Major Lorne on the other hand looks positively distressed now and she's getting more confused by the minute. She really has no idea what it is about mentioning Laura that has him tied in knots all of a sudden. But then again… before Laura left… she seemed to react almost the same when someone made the mistake of mentioning _Major Lorne_. Of course she had tried to play it down or pretend that nothing was wrong but Laura was never very good at pretending anything. It's Jennifer's turn again now. "Well… not really. About four months, to be precise."

Sheppard makes an appreciative face… and Major Lorne… now looks suspicious. Like something doesn't quite add up for him. He clears his throat. "Excuse me but… I don't seem to be able to follow. Of _course_ she would be four months along with her doctorate. She _left_ four months ago."

That… doesn't make any sense. Why does Major Lorne think they are talking about Laura's _doctorate_? He was her commanding officer and she never doubted he knew perfectly well why Laura had to leave. He _had_ to… didn't he? Before she knows it… she has voiced her confusion aloud. "I think… there has been a misunderstanding. We weren't talking about her doctorate."

_Ouch_! Did Colonel Sheppard really just step on her foot under the table? Or was that _Jennifer_? No… Jennifer… Jennifer looks a little… pleased now. What… is going on here? Obviously, Major Lorne just thought the same thing. He lets his fork sink down and narrows his eyes. "Would you mind… telling me _what_ you were talking about?" At least this time Colonel Sheppard only nudges her foot but she is kind of fed up with this whole game now.

"Of course not. But… I thought you knew why Laura… I mean Lieutenant Cadman left?" Major Lorne presses his lips together and Colonel Sheppard makes something that sounds like a very low groan.

"Yes. She left because she wanted to go back to school, didn't she?" Colonel Sheppard wants to cut in now but for some reason she starts to get the feeling that _someone_ – or rather a whole _group_ of some ones – neglected to tell Major Lorne something very important. Or, in a nutshell: They left him out of the loop and she finds that very strange and most of all very _rude_. And because she detests rudeness she makes a decision.

"Not… quite." Goodness, can't Colonel Sheppard just stop maltreating her feet? This has to be partly his fault because he is one of the very few people with the power to keep something concerning the city's Marines from reaching Major Lorne's desk or ears. "Laura left… because she was pregnant."

There's a moment… of absolute silence. Of course there's still the background hum of the mess hall but for this one moment it seems to be swallowed… by the big figurative thundercloud forming above Major Lorne's head after a moment of concentrated… calculation? Then the Major puts his fork and knife down, very slow and controlled. He doesn't look at her anymore… instead he looks at Colonel Sheppard who suddenly seems to radiate off something surprisingly similar to a guilty consciousness. "Beg your pardon, sir, but… did you know about this?"

The Colonel clears his throat and it's quite fascinating to see how the roles between superior and subordinate suddenly seem to be reversed. "Well… yes. Major… could we talk about this in private?"

Major Lorne presses his lips together again and the thundercloud seems to grow a little bigger. Almost meticulously he puts his cutlery on the plate that isn't even half empty, grabs his tray and stands up. "With all due respect, _sir_… I think I don't want to talk about it _at all_ for the time being. Please excuse me; I have to get some order into the Marine companies."

With that he simply turns and leaves the table, leaving behind a gulping Colonel Sheppard, Jennifer who looks like the cat that ate the canary and herself, still bewildered and perplexed. Of course she understands Major Lorne's agitation that his commanding officer held back something concerning the military personnel from him but his indignation seemed to stem from reasons much more _personal_ rather than professional. Almost as if… as if he was connected in some other way than purely professional to Laura and wasn't only furious at Colonel Sheppard but also at _Laura_.

And suddenly… the pieces seem to fall into place… although _that_ doesn't make _any_ sense at all. She clears her throat but this time someone kicks her shin under the table. What; is today "Kick Katie"-day, she thinks a little disgruntled and throws Jennifer the most evil look she can muster up and asks Colonel Sheppard anyway, "Colonel… I hope you don't mind me asking but… is there a reason Major Lorne didn't know why Lieutenant Cadman left?"

Jennifer makes something that sounds like a strangled whimper but at least keeps from kicking her. Good heavens, what is she trying to tell her? Doesn't Colonel Sheppard know about the babies' father anyway? Or should at least have guessed it by now, like she did? The Colonel, however, rubs his neck and then gets ready to get up himself. "Any other day I'd be glad to tell you, Doctor. Unfortunately… right now I need to get something in order first. Excuse me, ladies?"

She wants to inquire further but Jennifer nods and Colonel Sheppard seems to take that as a yes for both of them and leaves. When he's around the bend, Jennifer lets out a sigh of relief. "Phew, that was close." And then she seems to have one of her rather rare wicked moments and adds, "Think there's any chance we could find a way to listen to them? I just have this feeling it'll be the first time _ever_ we'd get to hear them shouting at each other."

Yes, that may very well be the case… and obviously, that's her fault. It's also her fault that a secret Laura had obviously wanted to be safeguarded under every circumstance just… slipped out of her mouth… and she feels just a little bit tricked by Jennifer. Which is why in the end she decides not to indulge Jennifer and says, "I think we caused enough trouble for today." Jennifer looks just a little bit disappointed but obviously the elation about Major Lorne finally knowing why Laura left is still strong enough to keep her in high spirits. Maybe she'll get her ending to another Parrish-adventure, after all. "And anyway, you were about to tell me how Dr. Parrish managed to stumble into an extraterrestrial bee hive and still get out alive."

At the mentioning of Dr. Parrish's name, Jennifer first rolls her eyes and then smiles amusedly. "Oh fine." Thank God Jennifer decided to play along because right now… she'd rather not think about what Laura would say if she knew she just blabbed about her most important secret. However, at least, for some reason… Major Lorne's reaction made her also start to hope that _something_ good might come out of this whole disaster. With a silent sigh she forces herself to stop dwelling on it all and concentrate on Jennifer again. "So he jumped into this mud hole…"


	64. 050 Spade

**A/N:** Yes, I'm still alive. Yes, **mac**'s still alive (and she contributed one of the best lines _ever_ to this story... guess which one :D). Yes, I'm still writing Fanfic100 pieces and she's still betaing. We both just had something called "real life" messing up everything ;) (and at least _my_ RL keeps messing around with me *sighs). Anyway... look, it's a new Twiniverse story (and takes place after "Outsides")!

* * *

Prompt: 050 Spade

**Cleanin' this gun**

"_She deserves respect  
That's what she'll get  
Now ain't it son?  
Y'all run along and have a little fun  
I'll see you when you get back  
Probably be up all night  
Still cleanin' this gun."_

_Rodney Atkins, "Cleaning this gun (Come on in, Son)"_

She wonders if this was really such a good idea. But then again… it's too late for regrets anyway since they're only a few hundred yards away from her parents' house. One last time she looks at Evan and he gives her an encouraging smile. She'd like to mirror it but right at that moment one of the twins makes him- or herself known quite forcefully and she can't help grimacing a little. Immediately Evan's face changes to worried and he asks, "Hey, everything okay?"

Resisting a sigh, she just gives him a half-smile. "Yeah, don't worry. I'm fine." And because she just can't resist, she adds, "But _you_ look a little green around the gills."

He looks at her and is now somewhat disgruntled. "I do _not_ look "green around the gills". _I_ am perfectly fine, thank you very much. Now, can we get this over with or what?"

And he _does_ look a little pale at least. However, that's kind of understandable since they're about to meet her parents – at least she made sure her _brothers_ would both be far away from home – and her father had _not_ been amused when she'd told him that he would get to meet the kids' father. "Whatever you say, flyboy." With that, she gestures for him to finally take the last bend in the road and after only a few more moments they reach her parents' driveway.

The moment they do, the door opens and her mother practically storms out the door. Evan has already left the car and before she can open the door he got to do it and even has the guts to offer her his hand. Or maybe he's just anxious to appear as courteous and decent as possible to her parents. She's tempted to ignore the hand and get out of the car on her own but she _is_ rapidly approaching the end of her eighth month. So she leaves it at a mean glare and takes the hand anyway.

A little awkwardly she leaves the car and immediately her mother is there to give her a hug… or something that would have been a hug if she wasn't heavily pregnant. Looking over her mother's shoulder, she can see her father step out of the door, demonstratively crossing his arms in front of his chest. When her mother lets go of her again, she can see that Evan has grown a few shades paler but is trying his best to appear unfazed.

"Mom… I'd like you to meet Major Evan Lorne." For a moment, her mother hesitates… but when she sees Evan's brave smile he has won her over. But then again… she suspects that he already won her mother over the moment he played her knight in shining armor at the car's door… or maybe when she related the story of why suddenly there _is_ a father for her children after all.

"Nice to meet you, Major." She can see the relief in Evan's eyes when he takes her mother's hand and feels a little guilty for what is about to come.

"Thank you, ma'am." At that her mother perks up and she's pretty sure that she's thinking something along the lines of "What a nice, polite young man." And then her mother throws her a very stern glance, for just a second or two, probably to tell her what she thinks about her refusing to tell Evan about the kids. Well… that was to be expected.

"Oh, call me Carol. Well… if I may call you Evan?" Ah, her mother at her best. Of course Evan can't resist her charm and simply _has_ to nod at that. "Ah, good. Now, let's get inside. Lunch's ready." Oh great! She's _famished_. Unfortunately the only thing standing between her and her mother's food is… her dad. Oh well, no guts, no glory.

Her mother leads them both over to the door and she wishes she could take Evan's hand and squeeze it but that would make a totally wrong impression on just about everyone involved… and Evan wouldn't want her support anyway. Evan never _needed_ her support either. Still… No, no more dwelling on that. "Dad… this is Major Evan Lorne."

Her father's only reaction is a glare. Bravely, Evan still extends his hand and says, "Pleased to meet you, sir."

After another moment of glaring, her father just growls, "Wish I could say the same."

Dammit, he's really set on making this as hard as possible for Evan, isn't he? "Dad…"

"Who wants some good old fashioned chicken wings?" Mom and her impeccable timing, she thinks and just for once she's grateful that her mother always likes to take matters into her own hands and that she can't stand watching other people fight. And she's even _more_ grateful that for once her father doesn't try to resist her mother's attempts at pacifying him and turns around to stalk off to the dining room.

Still trying to appear cheerful, her mother follows, leaving her and Evan behind… and now that her parents are out of sight for a moment, he allows himself a brief moment of looking genuinely distressed. It gives her a little stab to the heart to see him like that and it's enough to make her reach out and squeeze his hand after all. He lets it happen… even looks a little like he's grateful for it. She takes a deep breath. "I'm… I'm sorry for that, Evan. I didn't think…"

"It's okay, Laura. He's your father, after all." For a moment he looks like he wants to add something but then he just gives her a shaky half-smile and gestures to the door. "And besides… nothing here can be worse than what I… what _we_ faced… out there." It makes her smile involuntarily and they finally step through the door and she leads him to her parents' dining room.

The table has already been set – her mother outdid herself with the perfect mixture of casual family lunch and official get-to-know-the-parents-lunch – and she sits down beside Evan, facing her father. The first few moments of the meal are taken in awkward silence but then her mother takes pity on all of them… _again_. "So… Laura told us you were deployed until recently?" Evan, thankful for the easy entrance, nods and wants to say something… but doesn't get very far.

"Sure he was. It's where he got our little girl in trouble, remember, Carol?" Okay. Obviously, her father didn't even bother to put on the velvet gloves so that he doesn't have to actually pull them off again. At least that spares _her_ the trouble of pussyfooting as well.

"Hate to remind you, dad, but… I'm _28_. And I was _27_ when it happened." Evan doesn't really look happy that she jumped in to defend him so fast but like hell she'll turn him over to her father's unjustified wrath.

She hopes that's enough to shut her father up… but he's on a roll now. "So what? He was still acting against better judgment and he practically destroyed your career… _and_ he didn't even think it necessary to step up and do right by you." Okay, this is enough. Her father will _not_ warm up the argument they were having ever since she told her parents she was pregnant. He _knows_ it was _her_ decision to resign her commission and to raise her children all on her own. _Evan_ had _nothing_ to do with it and she will _not_ let her father accuse him of anything.

Ignoring the twitches and twangs the twins are causing her today, she puts down her fork and knife and glares at her father in a perfect imitation of _his_ glare. "Dad, really… We've been over this… and you will _not_ talk about Evan as if he's not even in the room."

Under the table, she can feel Evan nudging her with his foot but she can resist looking at him. If she looked away now, her father would simply interpret it as if she her not being serious and that's about the last thing she wants him to think. And yes, it's her father who breaks eye contact first… only to direct his glare towards Evan again. "You want me to talk to _him_? Fine. Here's the thing, _Major Lorne_: You got my little girl into trouble and you didn't take care of her." She wants to step in, shout at her father, drag him over the table, at least kick his shin… but he's too fast for her and simply carries on his tirade. "And then you suddenly appear out of nowhere, expecting us to welcome you into the family with open arms and let everything be sunshine and roses. But I'll tell you something: As long as you don't do what's right and pop the goddamn question… let me just say, I got a shot gun, a shovel and 40 acres out back. Don't make me use it."

That is just… that's it. Not one step further. Either he will accept Evan now or she'll never talk to him again. He just has _no_ right to talk like that to Evan. It makes her almost… physically sick that someone – let alone her _father_ – would talk like that to Evan, after everything he did for her and risked for her. "That's enough, dad. That's really… it's just enough." With that, her cutlery clutters to the table and despite her advanced pregnancy, she manages to get up pretty quickly. "Living room, dad. _Right now_."

Her father rises as well. "You will _not_…"

"And _you_ will not insult the father of my children like this. Living room or I'll stop talking to you right this minute." She can see her mother shake her head and Evan looks very much like he's about to tell her to remember doctor's orders and take it easy. But she's fine… at least fine enough to give her father a piece of her mind.

For a moment, it's silent in the room but then… a small miracle happens: He growls, "Fine. Have it your way," and moves toward the living room. She follows him, too agitated to even close the door behind her.

Instead, she starts talking almost immediately. "I'll say this only once, dad so you better damn well listen. The man you just threatened to kill if he didn't propose to me didn't even _know_ he was going to be a father until about four months ago. And that was _my_ decision. _I_ didn't want him to know because I didn't want to destroy _his_ career. I already told you before and I'll tell you again: It was _my_ fault that it happened, not his. If it hadn't been for one clueless botanist, he wouldn't have known about this and if it hadn't been for _his_ insistence and _his_ stubborness he wouldn't be here now. He practically had to force me to accept his assistance. And just for the record: I _told_ him not to propose."

She takes a deep breath, restraining herself from massaging her back or rubbing her belly and forcing herself to keep on ignoring the trouble the twins are giving her. But as it is… it's a lot harder than withstanding her father's furious glare. "Don't you dare _defend_ him…"

"Goddammit, dad, of course I will defend him. He didn't have to but he still gave up… he gave up a great posting. Maybe he even gave up his career for me… I mean, for the twins." Because seriously… the idea that leaving Atlantis had anything to do with _her_ is simply… wishful thinking on her part. She should stop that. "I owe him… Dad, I owe him more than I could ever repay him. Don't _you_ dare go off on him like that _ever_ again."

It wasn't… easy for her to admit this to anyone, not even to her father… _most of all_ not to her father. But she knows with unerring certainty that she owes this to Evan for taking it upon himself to confront her and blatantly refuse to let her have her way. Since he came back from Atlantis – maybe before that – he had been there for her, much more than she expected him to and much more than he _had_ to. He never complains when she brings herself to ask him to help her with all kinds of things or when he has to sacrifice his sparse spare time to make sure she heeds doctor's orders. He doesn't even give her the feeling that it's _her_ fault his stellar career is finished, maybe forever, not even subconsciously.

The realization of that – or at least the first time of openly admitting all of that to herself – makes her almost start to cry but she blames it on hormones and bravely fights all attempts of her stupid tears to spill over. She also has to fight the sudden urge to go back to the dining room, grab Evan by his hand and drag him somewhere secluded to kiss him senseless… Dammit, where did _that_ come from?

"Laura… baby… I just… it's not easy being your father." She sighs. _Finally_ he starts to see reason.

"It's not easy being your daughter, dad." He rubs his neck, still trying to uphold his furious façade but already starting to fail miserably. She can already see huge cracks in it.

Gruffly, her father states, "He better be worth all of this."

She can't help smiling brightly at her father. "He is, dad. Every little bit of it." Something in that – maybe the fact that it's been a while since her father has seen her smiling like this – melts the last bits of his resistance away.

"Alright, fine. But I'll still have the gun ready… just in case." She gives him a slap on the arm.

"_Dad_!" Her indignation makes him put his arm around her shoulders and squeeze them, laughter bubbling up his chest.

"Just kidding, baby. I'm sure he could disarm me in less than three seconds anyway if he served wherever you served." She feels herself nodding, full of pride for the exceptional officer Evan is. God… she doesn't deserve _him_ to be the father of her children.

"Absolutely. Now… can we go back to lunch, please? I'm _starving_." And she needs to sit down again because the twitches and twangs just won't stop but there's _no_ way she'll tell anyone about this. There's really been enough excitement for today.

Her father lets go of her shoulders. "Sure. And maybe we should keep your mother from occupying your Major's attention fully. You might not get to see much of him if she does." Relief floods through her because her father has finally let himself accept Evan. That's one problem down, then… the only problem she now has left is convincing herself to stop the butterflies in her stomach from fluttering whenever she thinks of Evan because _friends_ usually are not supposed to inspire butterflies in you.

Taking a deep breath, she follows her father back into the dining room. When she retakes her seat beside Evan… she feels his foot touch hers again and looks up to him, immediately wishing she hadn't. The mixture of worry, relief and caring in his eyes… will haunt her for the rest of the day, she's sure of that. Well then… time to play the good old suppression game, she thinks, and is glad when her mother takes up the conversation again, effortlessly and without even missing a beat. "So… where were we? Oh right… do tell us a little bit about yourself, Evan. We're all so very curious…"


	65. 075 Shade

**A/N:** And now we _finally_ have the piece you had to wait for so very long; Laura meets Evan's mother. It takes place between "Lunch" and "Outsides" and I really hope you like it (even though, as **mac** pointed out during betaing, I have a strange penchant for picking names with E for the Lornes ;)).

* * *

Prompt: 075 Shade

**A game of give and take**

"_My mama said  
You can't hurry love  
No, you'll just have to wait  
She said love don't come easy  
But its a game of give and take  
You can't hurry love  
No, you'll just have to wait  
Just trust in a good time  
No matter how long it takes."_

_Phil Collins, "You can't hurry love"_

"You're gonna like her." She looks at Evan and bites back an amused smile.

"That's about the tenth time you told me that, son. Since we arrived here, that is." And that's not even counting the circa 5000 times in the last few hours since they started their little road trip in the City.

A little embarrassed, Evan looks down. "Yeah, okay, but… I just… I want… uh…"

"You do know that I will use this moment every time you try to tell me you're a mature man in his mid-thirties who handles equipment worth millions of dollars on a daily basis and can do as you please, right?" He _almost_ frowns at her.

"You're evil, mom. Just plain evil." Don't laugh now, she thinks, just don't _laugh_. Evan's nervous – has been ever since he suggested she meet Laura – and she knows better than to belittle her son's distress by laughing about it.

She takes a deep breath and stops, stopping him with her. Then she puts her hand on his forearm, knowing that it will serve to calm him down at least a little because it has always worked that way. "Listen, Evan, you don't have to be nervous about it. I won't give her a hard time. I just want to get to know the mother of my future grandchildren. Okay?"

He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes and nods. "Okay. And mom?" She raises her eyebrows. "You're gonna like her." With that he gives her one of those mischievous grins that always got him out of trouble when he was still in his teens. She just rolls her eyes and together they round the last bend.

A few yards away, there's the café with chairs outside, some of them covered by an umbrella. She can see Evan glancing around searching for a few moments, until he settles on a woman sitting at a table that's strewn with papers, scribbling away, marking passages, trying to ban stubborn red hair from her face… she looks at her son again and she's sure that he has no idea about the light shining in his eyes the moment he sees her.

They have reached the table now but Laura keeps working, absolutely oblivious to the world surrounding her… "Just a moment, Evan. Just… a moment." Okay, maybe not _totally_ oblivious. She watches as Laura finishes her notes with a flourish and then finally she gets a first look at her face. Hazel eyes that display a softer version of the light in Evan's eyes when she looks at him, a mouth that's just a little too wide to be called perfect but that's still pretty dangerous, according to Evan… and curving into a little smile just now. "Hey."

"Hey." Right now she's pretty sure that either of them would notice – or mind – if she just discreetly backed off and left them alone. It surprises her a little _how_ apparent it already is that they can try to tell themselves and everyone else that they are nothing but friends and that there will never be more all they want… but that everyone _else_ can see it's anything but.

She clears her throat and Evan even jumps a little. He also blushes and a quick glance to Laura tells her she has seen it, too. "I'm sure you were just about to introduce us." Was that a suppressed snort she just heard from Laura?

"Yeah… uh, yeah, I was. Mom… this is Laura Cadman. Laura, this is Edith Lorne, my mother." Despite being in the second half of her pregnancy Laura doesn't waste time and stands up, as it is proper and she can see at first glance what Evan probably would have never guessed if Laura hadn't told him: It's _very_ obvious she's expecting twins.

"Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Lorne," Laura says and sticks out her hand, putting a loose strand of hair behind her ear. For a moment Evan looks like he'd love to lend her a hand there but then he seems to have remembered that good old "We're just friends."-litany he'd given her since he revealed the news about Laura and racks his hair a little awkwardly.

She takes Laura's hand and smiles back, determined to lighten her son's nervousness. "Pleasure is all mine. Please, call me Edith." Just as they are about to sit down again, Evan suddenly clears his throat.

"Uh… mom… Laura, I just realized… I forgot something in the car. I'll be… right back." And with that he's gone, leaving her behind with a slightly flustered Laura. However… Laura catches herself amazingly fast and throws her little amused grin as she sits down.

"Let me guess… his very subtle way to give us some time to get acquainted?" She knows she should be offended at the sarcastic and irreverent note in Laura's voice but since she thought almost the same thing – and something along the lines of "coward" as well – she decides to let it slip.

"Yes, something like that. So… we should use it, shouldn't we?" Just for good measure she adds a mildly stern look. As much as she thinks she already likes Laura… there are still a few things she'd like to get straightened out… and Evan probably assumed that already, therefore making his quick exit. It also does have an effect on Laura, albeit a pretty mild one since she only bites her lip a little embarrassedly and starts collecting all the papers on the table. Well then… better not lose any more time and get to the point fast. "Laura… I can call you Laura, right? Can I ask you something?"

Laura, still a little busy with the papers simply shrugs and nods. "Sure, go ahead." But in the way she isn't quite willing to meet her eyes; she can see that Laura at least has a suspicion about what will come now.

"No offense, but… what in the world possessed you to keep Evan in the dark about being pregnant for so long?" It's something she'd wanted to know from the moment her son had told her about it all. Of course she could think of a few reasons herself but… for some strange reason she wants to hear it from _Laura_.

Laura has the decency to squirm in her seat… and takes her time with an answer. She looks around, careful not to look her in the eyes for a few more moments; trying to straighten out the hair that gets constantly ruffled by the light breeze… but then she settles with a slightly sheepish smile and finally looks her in the eyes again. "You also think I behaved like a selfish bitch and an idiot, don't you?"

No… no, she doesn't. She just wants Laura to confirm to her that she _isn't_ and that Evan fell in love with the right woman, despite the strange circumstances it might have happened. Because that he _is_ in love is absolutely beyond doubt. "No, I don't. I'd still like to know it, though."

It doesn't seem like Laura believes her and for a moment it also seems like she already managed to alienate her but then she sighs. "Right. Guess I owe you an answer. Just… just for the record: The reason I didn't tell him was _not_ that I didn't think him capable of handling the situation the right way or that I wanted to keep the child from him or something like that." She nods, gesturing for Laura to go on. So far… she hasn't disappointed her. "In fact… I did it because I knew he _would_ be totally decent about it. Look, I know that might sound totally screwed up now but… I didn't want him to do that because I didn't want to hurt him and because it was basically my fault."

Interesting, she thinks. She'd thought that the first thing Laura would give her as a reason would have had something to do with her own career – which, that much she knows about military regulations, would have gone down the drain if it all of that would have become public – not that she would go and take all the blame. However… "Let me get this straight: You _knew_ he would support you and because of _that_ you didn't tell him?"

Laura bites her lip again and takes a deep breath. The short look on her face of being uncomfortable and the momentary twitching of her fingers on the table tell her it has to do with something other than being interrogated. She's tempted to ask if Laura's okay but then decides against it. The stories Evan told her about Laura on deployment… told her enough to keep from asking that. "Um… yeah. Look, I didn't want him to risk his career for me or anything, only because I wasn't careful. It wouldn't have been… right. And it still isn't."

It occurs to her… that Laura might be absolutely oblivious to the way Evan feels about her or at least for some reason doesn't want to acknowledge it… well, yet, she hopes. And it also occurs to her that Evan obviously hasn't told Laura about his decision to request being transferred back stateside yet. She _definitely_ has to have a serious talk with him about _that_. "I… see." She really does. Laura cares enough about Evan to get the totally twisted idea that it's her duty to keep him from giving up anything for her. Right now… she'd _love_ to give them both a slap to the head and then lock them up until they admit to each other there's more to the bond between them than just the kids. Unfortunately… it's not her place to do so. "And I take it being proud of being a _Marine_ had nothing to do with your decision to raise them on your own?"

At this, Laura actually blushes and that almost makes her laugh. Who has ever heard of a blushing Marine? "Well… the Corps ethos is pretty much all-encompassing."

"I guessed as much. I don't think, though, that letting a Zoomie – that's what you call Air Force officers, isn't it? – that letting a Zoomie take care of a few things will hurt… or will it?" Laura makes the attempt of saying something… but then seems to think better of it.

"No, guess it won't." Judging from what Evan told her about Laura… this was really some kind of admission. She'll _never_ fully get behind all this inter-service rivalry… but it will surely make for some very interesting years to come. "And speaking of the devil…" She turns around to see Evan coming back, pretending not to be carefully approaching them to see if it's safe to intrude again. Goodness, what did he think she would do to Laura? Or, well, Laura to _her_. Rolling her eyes, she gestures for him to come over.

When he arrives she can't help saying, "Can't remember you ever having been one of the forgetful kind, son," and even adding a little motherly reproach to her voice.

He clears his throat. "There's a first time for everything, mom." Then he obviously decides there's been enough talk about his – presumed – shortcomings and adds while sitting down, "So… no bloodshed yet?"

Before she can admonish him for this careless remark, Laura has already given him a slap on the forearm and immediately a bickering match between the two ensues. She leans back, settling in for an afternoon of watching these two desperately trying to tell themselves and the world that they're _just friends_ and making the decision that should they _still_ be trying to keep up this charade _after_ the twins are born, she'll personally see to it that they end up in a locked room and simply have no other chance than to admit to themselves and each other what everyone else can already see clearly. Yes, she thinks, a very good plan.


	66. 051 Water

**A/N:** And I give you now... the birth of the twins! Yes, indeed. It takes place after "Spade" and it's much to **mac**'s merit that I could keep it mostly realistic (and you should have read her snark in the beta notes for this piece... I still have to laugh when thinking of them :D). Everything else though... would be telling ;)

* * *

Prompt: 051 Water

**These small hours**

"_Our lives are made  
in these small hours  
these little wonders,  
these twists and turns of fate  
time falls away,  
but these small hours,  
these small hours still remain."_

_Rob Thomas, "Little Wonders"_

His fingers lightly play over the surface of the table while he tries to listen to Colonel Mitchell giving them the briefing for their next mission. It's just a trade mission, nothing out of the ordinary. But for some reason something in him makes him unable to hold his fingers still. To keep them from drumming, he subconsciously picks up his pen and starts tapping on the paper in front of him. He knows he should stop it and he even starts to get a little annoyed with himself but there seems to be enough nervous energy inside of him that it needs to go _somewhere_.

"Major Lorne… am I boring you?" He looks up, right into the expectant and slightly irritated face of Colonel Mitchell. Oh damn, he should have made an effort to at least _appear_ like he's listening.

He clears his throat and takes care to sit up straight again. "No, sir. Sorry, sir. I just… never mind. Won't happen again." Mitchell just gives him another not amused look but starts talking about the mission again. And did his team medic, Master Sergeant Feldmann, just roll his eyes? God, that's really the height of embarrassment… being reprimanded in front of your whole team… as their _CO_. And they probably all think his absentmindedness has something to do with the mission, which makes it even more embarrassing, even though it doesn't.

However, that still leaves the question what… Suddenly, there's a knock on the door and Mitchell's only reaction is an irritated sigh and a very pronounced "No!" but the door is opened anyway. It reveals a young female airman, one of the new girls from the admin section, as far as he can recognize. He can see that at first Mitchell is tempted to simply throw her out but then something makes him cut the girl a little slack and he rolls his eyes and says, "Private… when I say no, I _mean_ no."

She nods, really making an effort at not being too intimidated. "I know, sir. And I'm sorry, sir; but I've got an urgent message for Major Lorne… sir." Suddenly he's all ears. All the nervous energy is gone, leaving behind sharp attention and just a little bit of apprehension.

Mitchell seems to have seen it but doesn't react to it… yet. Instead he addresses the Private again, "Really? Urgent?" She bites her lip, not really sure what to make of it but he can see that now Mitchell is starting to get amused by the whole situation. Then she just nods. With his eyebrows raised, he gestures for her to continue. "Go on, then. I guess it's not super-secret?"

She bites her lip again. "No, sir, I… I don't think so. The message is… uh… from a Miss Faversham. She called from Memorial Hospital." Oh God. He just felt all the color drain from his face. _Laura_. "She said that a Miss… uh…" the Private looks at the little note in her hand and he's just this close to bellow at her that she better be fast now, "A Miss Cadman was admitted two hours ago to the maternity ward and said… that Major Lorne… uh… might want to come there, too. He'd know what this is about, Miss Faversham said." Oh _God_. Oh crap. That's it. He _knows_ that's it. Laura went into labor and he's stuck at the SGC because in an hour he has to go on a mission and… just _crap_.

"Uh… Major Lorne, are you alright?" No. Not a bit. Laura's in hospital and the fact alone that she actually sent for him… doesn't bode well. Something's wrong. He _knows_ something's wrong and he… goddammit, he can't just _leave_. And now he also has to explain to his CO and his team why he's suddenly looking – and certainly _feeling_ – like he's about to faint in the next two minutes. He takes a deep breath.

"Quite frankly, sir… no." Mitchell throws him a "Care to explain, Major?" look and he almost wishes he would just faint now. However, he's still a Major of the United States Air Force so instead of fainting, he gets up and clears his throat. "Could I… talk to you for a minute, sir? In private?" His team is sure gonna hate him for that because they've only known him for maybe a month or a month and a half and he hasn't told them _anything_ about Laura yet, although they should have probably been the first to know in the SGC. But there's just no way he'd get around explaining to them where he met Laura and why a woman who used to be under his command then is pregnant with his children now.

Mitchell looks very much like he's about to deny this request, probably just to get back at him for not listening to him five minutes ago but obviously something – probably the fact that he's still as white as a sheet and has to curl his hands into fists to keep them from shaking – convinces him to nod in the end. He dismisses the Private that looks mighty relieved when she can go again and then gestures for him to go outside.

"I'm listening, Major." Damn, why can't Mitchell be like Sheppard? All Sheppard would have done was tell him to call a cab and get the fuck to that hospital but Mitchell… has no clue about the whole Laura thing.

He steels himself, feeling like time is running through his hands like sand. "Sir… I'm… I'm about to become a father."

For a moment, Mitchell doesn't say a word, looking very much like he wants to determine if the Major who came back from Atlantis a couple of weeks ago and who is said to have been Sheppard's by the book no-nonsense is trying to play him for a fool. Then, "Right. So… this Miss Cadman… your girlfriend?" Yeah, I wish, is the first answer that pops into his head but he pushes it away as soon as it came to him.

Instead, he says, "Not… exactly, sir." Argh. Why couldn't he simply have lied about it? Because you've been trying to tell yourself for at least three months now that the only thing you see in Laura is a friend, an evil little voice answers but he chooses to ignore it. "But… that's not the point here, sir." _Don't_ ask, he almost begs and even goes as far as not giving Mitchell the opportunity to cut in. "The point is… she's in trouble."

Okay, maybe not exactly the wisest choice of words, as Mitchell's almost suppressed smirk proves. "Really, now? What tells you that?" The _bastard_. Mitchell is actually _enjoying_ this. So. Not. Fair.

"That thing with "might want to come there, too"? It's Cadman code for "Get your ass over here in ten seconds or I'm going to blow it right off this planet." I just… sir, I _know_ we have orders for this mission and everything and if she wouldn't have called I'd be going without so much as a blink but… there's been a little trouble before and I just…" Aw, _fuck_. Why is it that he is totally incapable of explaining to Mitchell how very much afraid he is that something will go wrong because the pregnancy hasn't been exactly _easy_ so far, as he had gathered from Laura's hinting… and the fact that she had been put on bed rest for almost all of the last four weeks?

To his surprise, Mitchell just presses his lips together and then says after taking a long moment to think, "Right. General Landry is probably going to kill me for this but… you're free to go, Major." For a teeny tiny moment he feels like engulfing Mitchell in a crushing bear hug. "Just don't drive there on your own. You don't really look fit to drive." He doesn't _feel_ fit to drive so _maybe_ he should invest in a cab today. He swallows and nods.

"Of course, sir. And… thank you, sir. I really… owe you." Mitchell snorts.

"Damn right. I expect you to call in when you're done, Major. _And_ I expect you to give me – and your _team_ – the full story as soon as you're back on duty." Well… he probably should have known that. His team maybe should really know the basic facts about their CO… and Mitchell just recognized this to have the potential to be of some good entertainment. "Get _going_, Major." Oh… oh, right. Realizing he is _really_ free to go, he throws Mitchell a last casual salute and then turns to race back to the surface, pulling the SGC patch off his BDUs being the only concession to secrecy he makes.

When he finally arrives at the hospital's maternity ward they have the gall to make him go through the whole scrubbing up process and he's really almost about to show them what a Zoomie is capable of if you keep him from reaching his destination. The only thing keeping him from it is that one of the nurses gives him a short briefing on Laura's condition. She tells him that Laura and the twins are stable but that they have to monitor them closely because of something with the kids' positions. She also tells him that Laura must be in a significant amount of pain but refuses to take painkillers and he's not the least bit surprised.

He's also not surprised that so far the doctors and nurses have run into a road block trying to convince her to let them relieve her of some of the pain. As long as he knows Laura, she never resorted to painkillers, unless the pain was bad enough to keep her from fulfilling her duty. So with all of that mind… he's more than just a little apprehensive when they let him into the delivery room.

But when he enters, not even the nurse's report has really prepared him for seeing Laura on that bed, being fussed at by doctors but instead of waving them off… she's just lying on her side and she's _not_ looking well. Her hair is matted with sweat and the way she's squeezing her eyes shut… back on Atlantis, whenever he had seen her like that, she'd needed several weeks to fully recuperate afterward. Without even waiting for one of the doctors or nurses to give him permission to come closer, he walks up to her and crouches down beside her, to see eye to eye with her.

"Hey, jarhead… thanks for the invitation." It takes her a moment or two to realize that someone just talked to her and she needs another moment to open her eyes.

"Glad… you could make it." Still trying to keep up a conversational tone. Must be really bad then.

But for the sake of not agitating her even further he tries to follow her lead. "Wouldn't want to miss _this_. Hey, uh…"

"I'm fine, Evan." The hell she is. And as if to punctuate it, she moves to curl up and squeezes her eyes shut as obviously another wave of pain hits her. He throws the doctor that the nurse from before identified as Dr. Petrarca and who is the one in charge a look and the frown tells him more than he'd wanted to know.

So he decides to screw not agitating her and taking the frontal approach. Up to now it always worked fine in the end. "No, you're not. You wouldn't have let them call me if you were."

It's true, and she knows it as well. If she was ready to let him see her like this – in pain and kind of helpless – it must be bad. What really worries him, though, is that she doesn't really look like she's _fighting_ the pain. Instead she looks very much like she's _enduring_ it, nothing more. Refusing painkillers is one thing… being close to giving up _another_. He makes a decision, then and there.

After giving Laura an encouraging and comforting squeeze to the shoulder – although there are a few other things he'd rather do to encourage and comfort her – he walks over to Dr. Petrarca. The doctor eyes him a little warily, obviously not exactly happy about the determined look on his face. "Major Lorne, isn't it?"

"Yeah." And no time for niceties, now. "Look, Doctor… could you do me a favor? Leave Laura… Miss Cadman and I alone in here, for a few minutes?"

Dr. Petrarca looks even less thrilled now. "Absolutely _not_, Major. Miss Cadman is in a… critical stage now and needs constant monitoring. I will certainly not…"

"I guarantee you, leaving me alone with her for those few minutes will make her chances of getting through this alive and well much better than you hovering around here." He really just needs a few minutes to talk to her, he's sure… but there's no way he'll talk to her with too many nosy people hanging around the room.

Petrarca wants to give back something scathing, he's sure of that but a sharp intake of breath followed by something that could very well be a whimper from Laura makes him shut up. Come on, he thinks, let me talk to her. Let me get back to that bed and kick her inner Marine into action again. Just give me those few private minutes with her. Another sound comes from the bed and this time it sounds like Laura's suppressing a scream.

God, he wishes he could simply tune that out because it's nearly tearing his heart apart. After another minute of torture, Petrarca walks over to the bed. "Miss Cadman? Major Lorne here suggested my team and I leave the room for a few minutes. Before you agree, I _have_ to tell you that I really don't…"

"Just fucking… do it, doc." Okay. Now he's starting to get scared. Petrarca as well, because he doesn't even make a second try to explain to her why it would be better if he stayed.

"I see. On your responsibility, Miss Cadman." With that, he waves for the rest of his team and they follow him out of the room. Gee, prima donna much? Anyway, he's gotta get a Marine back on her feet now.

He crouches down in front of her again. "Okay, now that he's gone…"

"I _said_ I'm fine." Damn.

"I highly doubt that." The last thing he wants to do now is fight with her. Can't she make it easy for him, just for _once_? "Come on, Laura, what's going on he…"

"You wanna know… what's going on here?" She grits her teeth as the pain comes crashing down on her again and he wants to reach out to cup her cheek but she growls, "I'll tell you what's going on here. You ever… had a shot… a shot to the abdomen?" He can just shake his head. "I… Jesus fucking _Christ_. I have. This is _worse_. And it's been like this for hours. _And I just can't fucking go on anymore_."

She nearly yelled that last part and the realization that this is partly _his_ fault hits him like a surge of scalding hot water. Throughout the last three months he'd had a vague feeling of guilt in the rare times she'd genuinely complained about pain or really anything that made her feel uncomfortable but now it nearly overwhelms him. But this is not about him. It's about getting Laura – and their _children_ – through this.

Not caring whether she'd hack off his hand now or not, he takes heart and reaches out for her, putting one of the damp strands behind her ear and gently cupping her cheek. "That's not true, Laura, and you know it. You _can_ do this." To lighten the mood at least a _little_ bit and because he simply can't see her in pain anymore, he adds, "Oh… and accepting some painkillers might help, too, you know."

She swallows down another scream. "No. It's just… it's all so… I can't do this, Evan. I'm gonna… I can't…" She closes her eyes and the sweat on her face mingles with tears of pain, desperation and shame. No, no, no. It's not supposed to go like this.

"Laura, look at me. Dammit… Marine! You open your eyes right now and look at me." Amazing. He never thought he could keep up this authoritarian tone even now but he could. And what's even better: It _worked_. She opens her eyes again and he strokes her cheek with his thumb. "Remember when they brought you into the infirmary when you already half bled to death, after saving Ronon's ass, four months before you left?" She nods. Good. He remembers that as well. In fact…it's one of the memories his mind likes to gift him with particularly often when it decides it's time for a nightmare again. "No one thought you would make it. Even Keller didn't give you a snowball's chance in hell. Remember that?" She nods again. "But you did it. God, Laura, you pulled through then and you will pull though _now_. Hear me?"

She takes a deep breath and shudders under the onslaught of another wave of pain. "Don't you… dare… making this an order." Her face is so serious that he just can't help chuckling at it. It makes her frown even deeper but at least… there's this glimmer back in her eyes. The glimmer she always had when she was stubbornly refusing to let go, to give up, let herself be defeated.

"Don't _make_ me make this an order. Don't… give up, Laura. Giving up was never an option before." At least for her, that is. He, though… he'd nearly given her up all these months ago, never even trying to really find out why she left. Instead Katie Brown had to accidentally spill the beans before he finally acted.

"Whoever…good _God_… whoever said it is _now_, huh?" Thank _God_. She's back. She'll make it. And if it's just out of spite; he doesn't care. The main thing is that she'll give her best and that she'll refuse backing down.

He can't help breathing a sigh of relief… and giving her a kiss on her damp forehead. "No one. No one said that." To his surprise she simply accepts it. He never dared to get this close to her before – well, apart from that one time about nine months ago – because he was always afraid she'd make him regret that. Now, though… maybe it's just the extraordinary circumstances and she _will_ make him regret that once she's back to her old self.

"Evan?" He blinks. Oh, right.

"Mh?" Instead of an immediate answer, she reaches for the hand on her cheek and takes it in hers to squeeze it when another contraction hits her. He's pretty sure she's still holding back but damn, her grip is still very much that of a Marine.

"Maybe… you should ask that doc… to come in again. I think… I might need a little medical assistance." _Not_ good. Fighting against the panic welling up inside of him he goes to fetch Petrarca and his team again.

What follows… is an eternity – or at least that's how it appears to _him_ – of worrying, swearing, coaxing, supporting, sobbing and in the end also some screaming after all. He's also pretty sure that if it had taken them only a few minutes longer she might actually have managed to _break_ his hand. In the end both of them are exhausted, wetter than after a thorough gush of rain on Lantea and… grinning like idiots.

Because, when they put his daughter, his _first born_, into his arms and when he sees tears of joy streaming down Laura's face when they put her son into her arms and when she doesn't even hesitate to kiss him back as his first reaction to all of this is to bend down and kiss her full on the lips, he knows it was all worth it. Giving up Atlantis, facing her father, fighting his way back into her life… Everything for this one moment in time where he knows with unerring certainty that just for once he has done _everything_ right and everything is as it is supposed to be.


	67. 043 Square

**A/N:** Okay, so, before I'll be gone for about a week (it's this darn RL again that's keeping on screwing up everything), I thought I'd give you another Twiniverse piece (you didn't think "Water" was the last one, right?), taking place a few weeks after the last one. It's not the reaction at the _SGC_... but at another institution ;) **mac** did like it, because of certain overtones, so I hope you'll like it as well.

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Prompt: 043 Square

**For the world to see**

"_Pictures of you, pictures of me  
hung up on your wall for the world to see  
pictures of you, pictures of me  
remind us all of what we used to be."_

_The Last Goodnight, "Pictures of You"_

She really hates mail day because it usually means an additional load of paper work for her. There's tons of mail from the I.O.A., the SGC, Homeworld Security, the DoD… and it also means that the mood in the city is even stranger than usual. There are always some inhabitants that receive exceedingly good news – a baby, a scholarship, a published paper – and who are giddy the whole day… and there are always inhabitants who receive horrible news – a death in the family, divorce papers, a rejected paper – who need counseling and consoling.

So she's glad when she has finally worked through all the e-mails, demands, refusals and the calls of distressed personnel or their bosses and all the other hassle that comes with mail day. With a sigh she's about to shut down her computer when the beeping signaling a new e-mail goes off _again_. She's just _this_ close to simply ignoring it and going ahead and calling it a day but then her sense of duty wins and she opens her mail box again.

It's a message from Colonel Sheppard, saying _Trust me, you're gonna love this_, in the subject line and well… that does make her curious. So she clicks on the subject and the mail opens… to reveal that it's a forwarded message… from a certain .. Oh, _that_ is quite a surprise. Ever since Major Lorne left a couple of months ago quite unexpectedly, she hasn't heard much of him… in fact; she hasn't heard anything of him _at all_, even though he's still at the SGC.

She scrolls down and Lorne's subject line only adds to her curiosity, even though it's quite simple: _Twin pictures_. There's only a short text beneath it, no more than a few lines. _Remember you asked for pictures, sir? Here they are… though Laura will probably kill me for at least one of them._ Laura? Lorne never mentioned a Laura when they were talking about friends and family on Earth. His mother and his sister definitely are _not_ named Laura and aside from that… oh well, she'll just have to wait and see, then.

Not really knowing what to expect, she scrolls further down and now sees the attachments' file names: , and . That's… pretty obvious but… there wasn't _anything_ in his files about any dependents, and he never _talked_ about either one. Did she miss something here? Shaking her head, she clicks on .

What she gets is… a newborn girl in the arms of a Major Lorne that looks positively like he just spent an hour jogging through an Atlantis rainstorm and… practically _bursting_ with pride and joy. Good _God_. She can't remember ever having seen him like that… and now she can't wait to see the _mother_ of this little girl so she clicks on , in the hope she'll get to…

_Wham_. Holy Hannah. She actually just gasped. This is a joke, right? Someone please tell her that this is _not_ Laura Cadman there, looking very disheveled and exhausted and just as proud as Major Lorne, holding a newborn boy. Someone please tell her this is some trick, some glitch, some… oh, who is she kidding anyway?

Actually… she'd known about this as far back as about nine months ago, when Cadman had resigned because of her pregnancy. Cadman refused to tell them who the father was but the moment she requested no one to get told about this, not even _Major Lorne_ was what had sparked her suspicions. The way Cadman and Lorne had been treating each other since some party a week or so before Cadman's resignation had also given her another clue. She'd rejected those thoughts, though, because she'd refused to believe either Cadman or Lorne would be stupid enough to risk their careers like that.

She'd tried to talk about this with Colonel Sheppard shortly after Cadman had disclosed her pregnancy to them but he had been genuinely clueless about any connection other than professionally between Cadman and Lorne. He hadn't even seemed like he knew anything and was just holding out on her – he really simply didn't know and didn't suspect anything. But she… she should have said something. She'd seen a bond developing between Cadman and Lorne and she hadn't done _anything_ about it.

It still irritates her because that just isn't like her… but Cadman and Lorne had somehow reminded her of _someone else_ and… maybe, deep down… she'd wanted them to have the chance she and Jack had never allowed themselves. Resisting a frown because of this very unprofessional way to deal with possible feelings between a CO and one of his soldiers, she opens the last file… and finds herself suddenly being _glad_ about this unprofessionalism.

It shows Cadman and Lorne in a hospital room, obviously a day or two after the actual birth, with Cadman still in bed and one of the twins in her arms, looking down at the baby with a smile that's a little disbelieving on her face while Lorne sits on the edge beside her with the other twin in his arms, leaning down and giving Cadman a kiss on her hair. The whole picture speaks of love and joy and also a considerable bit of pride.

She feels tears prick in her eyes and absentmindedly wipes them away. What she sees… is what she could have had with Jack and never did because they simply missed the point where they could have become that but besides a certain amount of jealousy she mostly feels touched by the picture and a bit like watching the happy ending to a Lifetime drama.

However… there's still the slightly disadvantageous matter of Cadman and Lorne having violated non-frat regs, and on a forward operating base at that. Anyone who could recognize them on the pictures could do the math and see very fast that the birth date says very clearly that the twins were _not_ conceived when Cadman wasn't serving on Atlantis anymore.

She knows she should do something about this, report it to the I.O.A., to the SGC… just anything. But she just… can't. And she doesn't _want_ to either. In a way… this is her chance to give someone else what she never had and like hell she'll screw this up. So all she does is close the files, delete the message and its attachments and write a new one to Colonel Sheppard, saying _You were right, I did. However, I'll take care to make sure nothing of this will resurface ever again. I trust you to keep your trap shut about this and delete_ this _message as well._

Satisfied, she leans back in her chair… and hopes that Major Lorne will still be at the SGC when she goes on leave in four months because she'd _love_ to see the twins for real… and tease him and Cadman endlessly about everything. And maybe… she should finally answer that one personal message Jack sent her three weeks ago and she hadn't even opened until now…


	68. 097 Sensibility Writer's Choice

**A/N:** Yes, I'm still alive, I'm just not close to my laptop and/or a sufficient internet connection during the week. However, since I watched "Julie & Julia" on Tuesday and realized that there's one big similarity between Julia Powell and me is that we both have a Project (hers was the recipe one, mine is Fanfic100) and the deadline for my Project is 13 December (mine, that is... there's no actual deadline for Fanfic100), I decided to at least take the laptop with me. Yes, sometimes I surprise myself in the ambition department ;) _Anyway_, **mac** betaed this of course and I have the feeling she surprised herself in the snappyness department with the notes ;) So, yes, I hope you like this installment of the Twiniverse stories as well as the others (don't I start getting on your nerves with that?). BTW, it takes place after "Square".

* * *

Prompt: 097 _Sensibility (Writer's Choice)_

**The kids are fast asleep**

"_You're doin' all you can to get in them old jeans.  
You want that body back you had at seventeen.  
Baby, don't get down; don't you worry 'bout a thing.  
'Cause the way you fill 'em out, hey, that's all right with me.  
I don't want the girl you used to be.  
An' if you ain't noticed, the kids are fast asleep."_

_Trace Adkins, "One Hot Mama"_

This just isn't how she pictured life. Okay, yes, she'd known it for a while now… about a year, to be precise. A year ago… her life had been turned upside down when Jennifer told her she was pregnant. After that things just hadn't seemed to smooth out. Then just when she'd thought everything would be okay after she found a university where she could do research for her thesis, they'd told her she was expecting twins and when she had finally come to terms with _that_ shock a certain USAF Major had knocked on her door.

She sighs and runs a hand through her unruly hair. Three months she'd tried everything to make herself realize that they'd not be more than friends, _ever_, and suddenly Evan goes and kisses her, just like that. Granted, she'd just suffered a birth that had lasted several hours and he'd been the one to coax her through it all, but still… a kiss. And after that… other kisses, every time he came to visit her on the maternity ward, until she'd finally realized that he _meant_ it. She'd left the hospital with the strange, but great feeling that she wouldn't be a single mom with a friend to help her bring up the kids… but part of a couple raising them together.

Another sigh, this time a little too close for comfort to a sob. It's been three months since Aislinn and Christopher's birth and she can't shake the feeling that she's royally screwing up. They'd agreed that he would keep the posting at the SGC for the time being and that she would take up working on her thesis as soon as possible. She didn't really like this solution but there had been no other postings available for him in Colorado Springs and they hadn't wanted to move again so soon.

She'd thought she would manage it because she'd managed everything before… but the feeling of being overwhelmed with too many things happening at once was starting to get to her. There are, first and foremost, the twins of course, keeping her running all day and sometimes even at night, although he's really giving his best to relieve her of the nightly stress when he's at home.

Then there's the thesis which is giving her major headaches. Every time she gets a little sliver of time to work on it… she's not able to write at least a few paragraphs or do some calculations or even only do some proof-reading on the stuff that's already written. All she ever wants to do in these precious minutes is sit down and _breathe_, not to mention sleep.

Also there's the whole keeping house thing. It had been easy with only herself… but now there are four people and so much laundry and dirty dishes and a hundred other things. Evan really does his best to help her but… that doesn't make the feeling that she's screwing this up way beyond possible disappear. Instead… it even increases the feeling.

The first tears start to spill over and she tries to ignore them bravely, like she has ignored all the other tears that had started to spill over since the birth. Because all these things… they aren't even the worst. The worst thing is that… Evan hasn't touched her. Sure, he kisses her and takes her in his arms at night but he doesn't… go further. And usually… usually she'd just take the initiative but usually she also doesn't feel like an utter screw-up and an ugly fat… something. That he's not touching her… doesn't do much to help her overcome the issues with her body she's developed since Aislinn and Christopher have been born.

And to top it all she has become extremely sensitive every time the phone rings while he's on duty. She even caught herself at being afraid to answer it at times, always afraid it might be someone from the SGC telling her the unthinkable. Every time the phone rings, worst case scenarios start to run in her mind and it makes her angry at herself. She never was like that, whiny and afraid and _clingy_.

At least she hasn't gone as far as articulating these fears in front of him… yet. Instead her ironclad self-discipline has made her able to act as if everything was okay, at least while in the company of other people and most of all in _Evan's_ company. The last thing she wants is that he sees her as weak and unable to take care of his children. With all her heart she wants to show him how well she can cope with everything and that he didn't fall in love with a woman who doesn't deserve him… _if_ he fell in love with her at all, that is.

God, no. There they are the tears. Streaming down her face and they just won't stop, as hard as she tries. It makes her angry at herself and that only makes them flow harder. An angry sob escapes her throat and she props her elbows up on her thighs and buries her face in her hands. If the kids start crying again now…

But instead… instead she hears the front door open and that sound is even worse than the kids' crying. He wasn't supposed to be home this early. He wasn't supposed to see her like this. He wasn't supposed… "Laura?" Dammit, he didn't even give her time to regain at least a little of her composure. It catches her so by surprise that at first she doesn't answer and so she hears him asking again, "Laura? Is everything okay?"

He's standing close to her now… and then she feels him sitting down on the couch beside her. Taking a deep breath, she wipes her hand over her eyes and gets up, trying to avoid his eyes without him actually noticing it. "Yeah, sure. I just… I had…"

Before she can finish whatever lie she'd wanted to tell him, he's up again and eyes her critically. "Really? Because it doesn't look like it, you know." Embarrassed that he sees her like this she turns away but he's too fast for her and touches her cheek. "Laura, just tell me about it."

She bites her lip and for some reason the soft touch of his thumb against her cheek makes her tell him something she'd never wanted to tell him. "I… it's just… I feel like…"

Seeing that she won't give him a coherent sentence – another point on the rapidly growing list of things that start to make it impossible for her to look him in the eye – he chimes in, "Is it the kids? God, I'm sorry I'm leaving you alone with them so often…"

Hurriedly, she shakes her head and withdraws a little from him, to get away from his touch that for some reason suddenly feels like mere pity to her and she doesn't _want_ pity. "No, don't worry. It's not your fault, Evan. It's… it's me."

Damn, she shouldn't have said that. Of course it doesn't serve to keep him from digging deeper…. yeah, there's the frown increasing already. "Uh… I think you lost me here. _What_ is you? And don't try to give me some lame excuses… I _know_ there's been something going on with you, Laura."

Crap. Crapcrapcrap. He noticed something was wrong… which means that she can't even _appear_ strong and capable anymore. Angry at herself that the tears start flowing _again_ she sits down on the couch again. Since there's no use in trying to pretend anymore anyway, she says, "I'm sorry, Evan. It's just that… this is… it's getting too much. I feel so… weak." And ugly and stupid and like a screw up, she adds in her mind.

To her chagrin it seems like she doesn't even have to say it aloud since he seems to have seen it anyway. But… what the hell is that smile doing on his face? He's trying hard to suppress it but it's _definitely_ there. He isn't going to mock her, right? Because if he is… so help him God! "Whatever you think you are, Laura, you're _not_ weak. How could you ever… what the hell gave you the idea you're _weak_?"

He _is_ mocking her. There's just no other reason why else he would say that. She slips into her favorite weapon – biting sarcasm – far too easily. "Maybe the fact that I haven't written a _word_ for my thesis in at least a month? Or maybe that the place looks like someone threw a hand grenade in? Or _maybe_ that you and I… I mean… you know… we didn't… you never touch me. I mean, I can understand that. I wouldn't… want…" She falters and that irritates her to no end. Dammit, she hadn't wanted to bring up _this_. He really doesn't have to know about the stupid and unimportant issues she has with herself.

However, she didn't have to spell it out, anyway. On his face she can see realization dawning… and a slight blush. Sheepishly, he rubs his neck. "Look, Laura, I just thought that…"

"That I don't look particularly attractive right now, anyway?" she interrupts him with an astonishing and shocking amount of acid to her voice.

It actually startles him and he needs a moment to get his act together. Then he replies rather fiercely, "Good God, no! You… Laura, you're still as beautiful as ever." She really has a hard time believing _that_. "And you're strong and doing a wonderful job… look, I don't care about stuff lying around or the dishes not having been done when I get home." Maybe he doesn't… but _she_ does. She's about to tell him that but he's on a roll now. "All I care about are the kids… and you. I just… wish you'd see that."

She does. She really, really does. But that doesn't make the feelings of inadequacy and unattractiveness go away. She shakes her head, close to tears again. "I'm doing a _terrible_ job. And I look like… there's not even a word for it. Seriously, don't you _dare_ lie to me just to appease me…"

"Goddammit, woman, why do you always have to make me use my last resort?" he almost growls furiously and before she can counter this, she feels his lips on hers but this time it's much, much different from all the last times.

Usually, his kisses are tender, good-natured… a little restrained. There's no restraint in _this_ kiss, though, but a kind of hunger she hasn't felt from him for a long time… a year, to be precise. She'd been drunk, yes, but not drunk enough not to remember it afterwards and while up until now that had always been the worst part about what had happened, suddenly it feels like the best. It's all there again; the passion, the excitement, the desire. It's the most natural thing in the world to give in and so she does, temporarily forgetting about feeling unattractive and incapable, as she feels one of his hands wander downwards and his body press her down on the couch.

However… in a corner of her mind… a snippet registers when he breaks for air and she blinks. Then she says, "Wait… sleeping with me was your _last resort_? What the hell…"

"Not now, Laura," he interrupts her, the feelings he'd expressed in the kiss now evident in his voice as well but dammit, she wants to _know_ what that is about.

Cursing herself for her inability to just let it go, she still says, "Yes, now, Evan. You keep me waiting for _three_ damn months and then suddenly you go and…"

A kiss seals her mouth again and after some – rather feeble – protest she gives in to it. When he breaks for air this time there's an almost feral look on his face and he growls, "Listen because I'll only say this once. Next time I hear something coming out of your mouth, it better be my name. In a scream."

Oh… _God_. How the hell could he live three months with all of that obviously boiling just under the surface? This time it's her who initiates the kiss and she even takes it a little further, somehow still aware of the fact that Aislinn and Christopher won't stay asleep forever. But still… "We really need to talk…"

"My name, Laura. In a scream." Right.

"Then do something to _earn_ it, flyboy." At that… he only gives her a grin that serves to intensify the feelings he stirred with all this kissing and his hands under her t-shirt and… all the other stuff… and then he _finally_ sets to do as she just told him, making her feel like life might really not be what she pictured it to be… but _better_ than what she always imagined.


	69. 080 Why?

**A/N:** So, here we are with last of the Twiniverse!stories... or okay, the pre-last. There's still a little Lorne/Cadman porn piece begging to be written... we'll see about that one once I got my real life under control again ;) This one takes place about five years after "Sensibility" and is a little wrap-up to the series. Although... one of you (I think it was **asugar**... BTW, where are you? You haven't abandoned us fanfiction writers, right? I have a really _great_ recommendation of an up and coming author for you ;)) once said she'd love to see the twins in Atlantis. Mh... **mac** (whom I also own the lyrics for this chapter to *bows before her beta) had a nice suggestion regarding this. Let yourself be surprised ;)

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Prompt: 080 Why?

**You got careless**

"_Doing something simple that you know so well  
And you have done a million times before  
This time you got careless and now you're scared to tell_  
'_cause you're worried now nobody will love you anymore."_

_Ron Daise, "Whoops, uh-oh! You made a mistake"_

"Neglecting your kids again, Dr. Cadman?" She turns around to see him walking up to the table under the oak tree which was one of the reason they bought this house a year ago and then looks back to the corner of their backyard where Aislinn and Christopher are running around with the Parrishs' kids. She turns back to him.

"You're just lucky that I'm too lazy to even move a finger. Otherwise I'd show you what a Marine does with a zoomie slandering her reputation as a mother." Ignoring her slightly menacing undertone he puts his hands on her shoulders and leans down to drop a kiss on the top of her head.

"I'm sure you would. And I sincerely apologize for not appreciating your eagle eye watching over our kids enough." With that he plunges down in the garden chair on the other side of the table, also facing the playing children.

"Yeah, you better," she says and adds a little grudging undertone. His only answer is a cocky grin and then turning back to watch the kids again. She in turn takes a few moments to study his profile. In two weeks the twins will turn five and that will also mark _their_ fifth anniversary. Five years… it seems so short to her and yet so much happened. She'd reenlisted a year after the twins' birth, had been deployed to Afghanistan for a year and he'd been deployed to Iraq a year after that.

By now, both of them are thinking about resigning from active duty and going into the Individual Ready Reserve and the Air Force Reserve respectively in one or two years. If someone had told her six years ago that both she and Lieutenant Colonel Evan Lorne would seriously contemplate stepping back from actively serving she'd have laughed about it. And only if she'd been in a _good_ mood. But then again… six years ago Aislinn and Christopher hadn't been there and six years ago… Evan had been her CO.

"Like what you see?" She blinks. Oh right… must not stare at boyfriend, otherwise boyfriend will get too full of himself.

She sticks out her tongue. "Yeah, you wish." He wants to answer but gets interrupted by their daughter running towards them squealing, her pigtails teetering and her blue eyes gleaming with delight.

"Daddy, daddy, look! Julian is such a wimp!" It makes her snort, seeing that Julian is Jennifer Keller-Parrish's and Michael Parrish's seven-year-old son who gets terrorized regularly by her spunky almost five-year-old. With a lazy grin she watches him pick up Aislinn and scold her a little for not paying the necessary respect to their friends' kids… but her trained eyes see the traces of amusement and just a little bit of pride in his face. It makes her smile to see his secret pride at their daughter who turned out to be much more like her than their son who always reminds her so much of the grandfather he was named after.

When he's done with giving Aislinn her lesson about being nice to boys the little girl gives him a kiss and it makes her wonder how she could ever have considered cutting all ties to this man. "She's got that all from _you_, Captain Tomboy." Yeah, even when he's trying to blame their daughter's slight wildness solely on her.

"Sure, Lieutenant Colonel Blamey McBlamerson." A little twig is shot into her direction but today she doesn't even bother to dodge it. Instead she simply leans back and watches her children again. Christopher has now taken to defend his sister – who's actually about five minutes older than he is – against the two other boys and looks the spitting image of his father, both trying to shield his not really cooperative sister and trying to pacify the two other boys. She wonders again whatever made her think she could raise these two alone, could forget about the man who fathered them when they both remind her of him in one way or the other nearly every time she looks at them.

But then again… when she'd made that decision, she'd still been very much under the impression of the night that started all of this. Or well, rather the morning after it. A ray of sunlight graces her face and that reminds her of the first thing she'd felt that morning… well, apart from an almighty headache, that is. She'd wriggled a little, stretched, reluctantly opened her eyes… and closed them immediately… only to open them again, to try to assure herself that the sight presenting itself had been induced by residual alcohol. However… that proved to be a mistake.

Shooting a look beside her, she sees the same man that had been lying beside her that morning… the same and not quite the same. When she looks at him today, she's mostly glad he came back from Iraq relatively unscathed, sometimes irritated because he forgot the dishes or the garbage _again_ and often enough amazed that he still bears with her occasional bouts of PTSD left over from Afghanistan. When she had looked at him six years ago… her main emotion had been… clear and utter _horror_.

God, yes… she'd been _that_ close to screaming when she'd realized why exactly her CO had been lying next to her, still with his eyes closed and wearing basically… nothing. She'd gone and done it. Slept with her CO, not even three months after one _really_ innocent night on his couch and joking around about better holding her drinking when he – and Dr. Parrish – was around.

She recalls another moment of shocked silence… and then his eyes opening. For just a very, very short moment they'd looked like they look today when he wakes up and sees her: Filled with a kind of tired, hazy tenderness that makes her all warm inside… even at 0500 in the morning. But back then… realization had crept _very_ fast into his eyes and she's still not sure who'd blushed heavier.

What she does remember though is that after a moment of complete and utter silence her mind had suddenly been full of _Ohcrapohcrapohcrap_ and the room had been filled with their nearly frantic search for their clothes and the _desperate_ attempt _not_ to look at the other again. An almost nostalgic smile graces her face. Back then, maybe the worst thing of all had been that she actually remembered most of the night. Today, of course, she's somehow glad that she still remembers most of the night her children were conceived – even though this is a story she'll probably _never_ tell them – but all those years ago… it had only added to the embarrassment and the guilt and the confusion.

It hadn't made the weeks after it any easier, either because every time she happened to come across Major Lorne – no easy feat since he'd made himself scarce to her ever since the _incident_ – she couldn't decide between feeling utterly embarrassed about her lack of control and indulging a little in the memory of _some_ parts of the night. Well, all up until Katie Brown had noticed her being sick in one of the public bathrooms and practically dragged her to the infirmary. The moment Jennifer had given her the results of the tests and had made it impossible for her to keep denying something she'd known to be true ever since the first time she'd felt miserable, she'd known that she needed to get way from Atlantis.

She looks at him again. He has his eyes closed, enjoying the slight breeze of the late summer afternoon, the children having quieted down to an occasional giggle or babble a few feet away at the foot of the oak tree. The little flutter in her stomach makes her smile. Even after five years she still has these moments where she feels like a teenager in love for the first time when she looks at him.

Six years ago, though… she'd wanted to be away from him almost desperately. She'd made the few people who knew of her condition – Colonel Carter, Colonel Sheppard, Jennifer Keller, Katie Brown – _swear_ they wouldn't tell him because she'd _known_ he'd want to do the responsible thing. While that was something very honorable – and deep down she'd always felt a need for _some_one to share this with her, even though she'd fought hard against admitting it even to herself – she'd felt almost sick at the thought of him having to resign from his posting in Atlantis because she hadn't been careful enough to remember that her body's hormone cycle was _always_ mixed up for a few weeks after coming back to Atlantis from Earth.

When he'd appeared in front of her door anyway after six months she'd at first been ready to strangle Katie for telling him… and when he'd left her apartment that day after a few hours she'd been ready to give Katie whatever she wanted to thank her for spilling the beans. Not because she'd already been in love with him – that had needed another three months at least – but because suddenly everything had seemed to be so much easier; juggling school and making a living and preparing for the time when her children would be born and her life would be turned upside down… _again_.

Things had changed so fast then; he'd been back on Earth for good a month later – God, she still remembers the _horrible_ fight they'd had when he'd announced to her that he was quitting Atlantis, no buts allowed – and she'd moved to Colorado Springs a month before the twins' birth. Just for once her _own_ suggestion and decision, brought on by the need for a bigger flat and the realization that she could forget about doing _anything_ for her doctorate for several months anyway… and already the growing wish to have him close to her. It had taken them the strain and difficulty of the birth itself, though, to see that there was more binding them together than just one careless night and its result.

A silent sigh escapes her. True to her one condition to accept his help they never got married but they don't need to anyway. After cutting through mountains of red tape, their children have every right children of married couples have and should have happened anything to them on their deployments, there would have been no confusion about who would be taking care of them.

But yeah, just another reason why they are both seriously contemplating stepping back from active duty; over the years both of them had their close calls. She particularly remembers one six months after the twins' birth when Evan had still been serving in the SGC and had been severely wounded on a mission… the moment they'd told her she'd grabbed the kids, bundled them up in the car and driven to the SGC. Almost furiously she'd made her way to the infirmary, given the kids to the care of the delighted nurses and given him a dressing down well worth to remember, berating him for taking risks that landed him in a hospital bed even though he was a father of two and goddammit how could he _do_ that! All he'd done had been waiting until she was done, lying there in his bed, still a little weak from surgery and then had said, "Yeah, Laura, I love you, too," calmly, without a sarcastic edge or a smirk.

She resists a content sigh. Whenever she remembers this particular moment, she also remembers a moment of utter confusion and simply saying, "Oh. Oh right," and sitting down beside him, silent for another moment, digesting what he just told her. And after that… the giddiness welling up inside of her at the final dispersion of her deep-rooted fear that he was only staying with her out of obligation.

Overtaken by a sudden wave of affection, she stands up to walk over to him and bends down to hug him and give him a kiss on his cheek. From the corner of the kids she can hear very pronounced "Ewww!"s and a little giggle from Aislinn. The object of her affection turns to her slightly surprised and reaches up to burry his hand in her hair. "What did I do to deserve such a courteous treatment, huh?"

They exchange another short kiss and then she straightens up again and ruffles his hair. "Guess. That will keep your mind sharp, old man." She turns towards the house because Jennifer and Michael should be coming back now every moment but she doesn't get far because suddenly strong arms have grabbed her from behind and swung around, making her squeal, much to the delight of their twins and the Parrishs' sons.

"Are you sure these people are the right ones to leave Jude and Danny with, honey?" Yeah, well and to the _Parrishs_' delight. He has set her down again and they have both turned to the couple – Atlantis' former CMO and head botanist – that just entered their backyard. Michael has bent down to greet his sons. Julian does look a little relieved to have his daddy back, obviously an unyielding fortress in his son's eyes. Of course that view on Michael Parrish is absolutely alien to her but if that's how his son sees him… who is she to change it?

"Oh, absolutely. After all, they have the best stories to tell," Jennifer answers and grins at them. It tells her that Jennifer knows very well what she's talking about. She feels herself smirking.

"You should know." As a reply, Jennifer sticks out her tongue.

"Yeah, well, _I_ didn't go and hop into bed with…"

"Not in front of the kids!" they blurt out in unison and that makes the Parrishs laugh out loud. After that, it's back to the table where Jennifer unpacks the cake the Parrishs have brought with them from their little solo foray into Washington, D.C. She wants to go inside the house to get some plates and cutlery but he seizes his chance for an unwatched moment and encircles her waist from behind to put a kiss to the crook of her neck.

"Did I ever tell you how glad I am that I had to rescue you from a certain Dr. Parrish all those years ago?" It makes her grin.

"Didn't you rather rescue a certain Dr. Parrish from _me_?" It makes him chuckle and the feel of his breath against her neck sends pleasant shivers down her spine.

"You may have a point there. Anyway," he lets go of her again and for a moment she wishes Jennifer and Michael and their sons would be gone and the twins would be visiting their grandparents or their grandma… "I think I may have to rescue another Parrish from a certain Cadman." With that he returns to the table, to help Christopher to keep Aislinn from teasing Julian again. She throws back another look and her eyes meet Jennifer's over the men and the children. A small, secret smile appears on Jennifer's face and she feels herself mirroring it. The best stories, indeed. And may many others follow.


	70. 052 Fire

**A/N:** Yessssss, I'm back home again, hopefully done with a few of my RL issues so I can concentrate on keeping to my deadline again (BTW, this morning... I applied for the claim for 1st Lt. Tamara Johanson at Fanfic100... oh well). Anyway, I give you now... something that's entirely **mac**'s fault. Seriously, I swear, it's all her doing. I don't have anything to do... oh, okay, alright, I _wrote_ it. Here you go.

* * *

Prompt: 052 Fire

**The whole nine yards**

"_Well the things the male do  
__Her little bit of cloth  
He'll go the whole nine yards  
Just to try to take it off."_

_Gord Bamford, "Blame It On That Red Dress"_

He checks his watch. Yep. Five minutes longer and she's overdue. Where's that trademark Marine punctuality people are always praising them fo… Oh, the door opens. And it reveals… something that makes him swallow and actually speechless for a moment. Cadman, however, only elegantly totters into the room on high heels, sporting a standard issue Kevlar vest over… something that's probably supposed to be a red dress although in more conservative circles there would be a debate over whether a piece of cloth like _that_ is really allowed to be officially part of _any_ wardrobe.

Not to mention that it's so far off being a piece of Marine standard issue BDU or Atlantis standard uniform or just _any_ standard uniform that the size of the difference would easily cover the distance between Earth and Lantea. He wishes for the life of him he could shut his mouth or at least find his voice to give her a piece about what he thinks about turning up for a monthly fire arms performance evaluation dressed like _that_ but something – _maybe_ the sight of her perfectly toned long legs with just a little bit of tan – keeps him tongue-tied.

"Sorry for taking a little long, sir, but you said you wanted us to train for being able to shoot perfectly in every situation and every attire. Thought I'd actually try that." Right. Uh-huh. Yeah. That sounds _perfectly_ logical and explains everything. He swallows again.

"I see, Lieutenant. Well, then… let's get started, huh?" She nods and… did she just hide a grin?

"Sure, sir." With that, she walks over to the weapons' table, picks up protection glasses, a pair of earmuffs and a Beretta plus ammo clip and signs it off with her thumbprint on the armory tablet. Then she gets ready at the stand at the firing range, loads her Beretta and looks at him, questioningly.

Still a little disturbed by her absolutely unfazed behavior he puts on his own glasses and earmuffs and nods at her to start her first round. She aims her weapon at the target and empties her Beretta's clip in rapid succession. At least the muffled noise from the shots keeps him from concentrating too much on her legs that are now standing a little apart or the naked shoulders under the flak vest or… _God_. Thankfully, the first evaluation saves him from having to spend further effort on _not_ noticing that Cadman isn't only a Marine but also a _woman_.

When the target paper arrives, they both pulled off glasses and earmuffs and he steps beside Cadman to have a look at it with her. Mh… that's not her usual performance. Usually, at least eight of the ten rounds put into the 15 round magazine for evaluation hit a ten or nine when Cadman shoots but this time… five are almost as far off as seven. Something's wrong here. Maybe it's the high heels that shift her stance too far off? Oh well, that surely needs correction, if she was really serious with wanting to train for every circumstance. He clears his throat. "I'm disappointed, Lieutenant."

She turns to him, her face in a little embarrassed pout and suddenly he realizes how _close_ he's standing to this version of Lieutenant Cadman he never saw before. "Sorry, sir. It's really not my usual performance, I know."

He nods and resists licking his lips… and staring at _her_ lips which, as he now realizes, seem to wear a little discreet hint of lip gloss, making them appear like they are wet… _Concentrate, _dammit, he scolds himself and forces himself to look 100% professional. "Luckily enough… I think I know what might be the reason for that." She raises her eyebrows as if to say "Really, now?" and that's the moment he sees the eye shadow that somehow manages to bring out her expressive hazel eyes. _Don't_ stare, _don't_ lick your lips and _don't_ clear your throat. "It's your stance. Something's… off, I'd say."

She nods. "Could you be a little more… specific, sir?" Specific? Oh, right, specific.

"Well, I'd say… it's your current footwear, Lieutenant." There, he said it. Without even blushing. Right?

Judging from her _almost_ amused expression? No. Judging from _that_ he should be blushing like a debutante right now. God, he's her _CO_, for Heaven's sake. It should take more than a little red dress under a flak vest and make-up to make _him_ blush. "Oh, you think? Any suggestions how to improve that?"

"Yeah, taking them off, for example." Oops… that was _not_ supposed to come out of his mouth right now. In fact, _nothing_ having remotely to do with "taking off" and "clothes" was supposed to come out of his mouth right now.

Is that the ghost of a sly grin in her face? No… no, it isn't. Well, _hopefully_ it isn't. "Of course, sir. But you know that would rather defy the object. I'd like to train improving shooting _with_ them." Right. Yeah. Of course.

"I see. Well, then… Level that gun again." She does, displaying the same stance from when she was firing the first time… and he thinks he can see what's wrong with it. "Okay… I think it's your shoulders… try lowering them…" Ah hell. He was always more of a hands-on guy, anyway. So he steps behind her, puts his hands on her shoulders, corrects their position… and finds his hands wandering down to her hips because he just realized that something with their position is wrong as well. At least he can remember mumbling "Excuse me, I'll just… uh… you know," before he actually _touches_ them.

Instead of putting her legendary hand-to-hand skills to use against him, he feels her turning around to him and raises his head again to meet her eyes… and after an seemingly endless moment _she_ suddenly… licks _her_ lips and he feels his eyes glued to them and before he knows it… his _lips_ seem to be glued to hers and for a teeny-tiny little moment his mind totally shuts down.

When it comes back, though, it feels like a gush of ice-cold water because… _holy fucking crap he just kissed one of his soldiers_. He breaks the kiss and looks at her horrified and… she looks a little like she can't decide between smirking and mirroring his horrification. Which is why he can't keep from thinking with just a little hint of smugness: Got a little more than you bargained for, Lieutenant? Before realizing he's still standing much too close to her and still has his hands on her hips and that he should get the _hell_ out of this room _immediately_, that is.

But then again… this is Lieutenant Laura Cadman. Fun to be around, never one to turn down a little flirting, sexy as hell even in her Atlantis BDUs in certain moments… Ah hell. And obviously she just had about the same thoughts about him since she meets him halfway in their next kiss and doesn't protest when he starts removing that pesky flak vest on their way over to the closest wall. Thank God he's still lucid enough to use his Ancient gene to lock the room.

He's almost done getting the vest off when her back hits the wall they were aiming for while she managed to get his jacket off his body and has started to remove his shirt. After a few more minutes he _finally_ got her rid of that vest and she kindly tries to get his shirt off him and now he has her in all the scarlet glory of that meddlesome dress. Not fully overwhelmed by his hormones yet, he does take a moment to admire it and it earns him a smirk. "Like what you see, sir?"

On the danger of Cadman being _incredibly_ smug forever after… "Absolutely." Yeah, there it is, that trademark smug smirk… God, he never realized it could look so _sexy_ before. But yeah, there is something he should clarify now, so he adds, "And I think you can spare me the sir for the time being," deliberately _not_ calling her "Lieutenant".

To forestall any answer from her he resumes his activities from before, taking great care to cover _all_ of her bare shoulders with his lips while she continues that thing with getting him rid of his shirt. But in the end she abandons those plans and goes straight for his belt. Boy does her forwardness turn him on. Enough, in fact, that he needs to take his hands off her to assist her a little and get to business faster.

And when he is finally there… it's the moment his mind decides to take a stroll to… _somewhere_ and relinquishes control fully to his baser instincts and after almost too little time he's where that dress promised him he'd get if he could just get _past_ it.

Panting he leans against Cadman who makes a sound suspiciously close to a very satisfied purr. For a moment he wishes they weren't on the shooting range of Atlantis, weren't CO and soldier, were free to do that _again_ whenever and wherever they wanted to… but then reality comes crashing down on him… and she saves him from any awkwardness by deadpanning, "Well… that's _one_ way to define being ready to fire no matter the circumstances."

It elicits a snort from him and he can even look at her while getting dressed again. "Not exactly the object of the task, though, was it, Laura?" Calling her Laura… suddenly seems to be the most natural thing in the world and right now… he doesn't even really want to go back to calling her Lieutenant ever again.

She scrunches her nose in the most delighting way and shakes her head. "Not… really, no. Maybe… I should ask Teyla or Captain Kaufmann for a second try."

"Sounds like a good idea to me." Yeah because the thought of her appearing in front of some other male officer – or just _any_ other male – like _that_ makes him feel all kinds of things he shouldn't feel about a fellow officer. Argh. _Argh_. Whatever happened to being professional under all circumstances? "Anyway… I uh… I have to… uh…"

"Yeah, me too," she just says but she wears a little amused grin that makes him want to repeat the little… incident. It's not helpful, either, that she bends down… to unstrap the high heels. Huh? Noticing his slightly confused face, she explains, "You were right. Taking them off _is_ the best way to keep the aim clear. See you in the next base briefing… Evan."

With that, she walks to the door and he's just fast enough to unlock it. Still a little beside himself he follows her and sees her walking down the corridor in that red dress, carrying her high heels in her right hand… and dammit, Cadman barefoot in that dress has about twice the sex appeal of Cadman with high heels in that dress… and God knows where _that_ got him.

He's in trouble… since today he'll be in trouble whenever he sees Cadman and it's all his fault because he should have thought of that earlier… His gaze falls on the flak vest lying discarded on the floor. Well… someone should get that thing back to where it belongs… Oh crap.

While checking the shooting range for other traitorous items, his gaze fell on the little glinting lens in the corner opposite to the wall where they… had that incident and… he's in so much trouble he doesn't even know how to describe it. A plan… he needs a plan now. Maybe… he _does_ have an idea…


	71. 078 Where?

**A/N:** Yes, it's already here. Part II of the Thing On The Shooting Range, I mean. And I'm particularly happy to see that **EvaFlack001** is still among my readers (_and_ managed to write the 300th review!). How's "Coming Back Home" doing, Eva? ;) Anyway, here's the story (with a lot of thanks to **mac** because she had to correct a few particularly stupid mistakes with this one... and whoever said that it's "a inkling" instead of "an inkling"? The language police?). Hope you enjoy it :)

* * *

Prompt: 078 Where?

**I'll be watching you**

"_Every single day  
Every word you say  
Every game you play  
Every night you stay  
I'll be watching you."_

_The Police, "Every Breath You Take"_

"No, that's not gonna work." Is that Major Lorne's voice coming out of the room with the surveillance equipment? What is he doing th…

"Yes, it _is_. Or it would, if you would just let me do some actual _work_." And what is _Lieutenant Cadman_ doing in there with him? Because ever since he saw first Cadman come out of the shooting range, dressed in something not even these crazy Earth people would call standard attire for their female soldiers and then a little while later Major Lorne with a flak vest in his hands and looking a little disheveled he hasn't seen them interacting even _once_.

His instincts tell him he might get a little insight into this puzzle – or rather… have his suspicions confirmed because he already has a fairly good idea what might have happened on the shooting range – if he waits a little with actually barging in full force and so he positions himself in front of the surveillance room and keeps listening in. "What? I'm just…"

"You're leaning over me and practically breathing down my neck." Mh. Cadman does _not_ sound pleased… or wait, was there an undertone in her voice that sounded rather… excited?

"I _like_ your neck." Okay, _Lorne_ doesn't do much to hide his excitement about Cadman.

"_Evan_!" And Cadman calls him by his first name. _Not_ standard procedure between Earth COs and soldiers, that much he knows. He frowns… because after that he doesn't hear _anything_ besides a squeal from Cadman for a little while.

However, a moment before he starts contemplating screwing it all and barging into the room anyway, just to see Lorne's and Cadman's faces when he catches them at something that could get them into a lot of trouble, he hears Cadman say a in a voice that's a little irritated, "You're just damn lucky I deactivated _this_ room's cameras before I even sat down here."

There's a huff from Major Lorne and then, "Fine. Have it your way. As long as you can work some of that mojo all you physics majors have to save our asses…" Ah. He starts to get a inkling what this is about. If this is the surveillance room and Cadman is supposed to save their hides by working on something… it's probably about a surveillance tape. This really is getting better and better.

"I can and I would if – and I really don't like to sound redundant but I obviously have to – you would stop hovering around here." Cadman does sound a little like she's just _this_ short of blasting Lorne out of the room. Maybe, if he hangs around a little longer he will actually get to see… "And keep your hands off my… oh, that's nice." No, maybe _not_. "Not really helping but… nice. Just a little higher, would you?" There's another sound coming from Cadman… and it doesn't indicate _anything_ about throwing Lorne out of the room. "Okay, you can keep doing _that_. Now, about this stupid console…"

Okay, he thinks, good moment to barge in and get his fill of embarrassed Earth officers… even though he regrets a little not having brought a camera. The blackmailing possibilities are almost endless. Cadman letting him play around with her little explosive toys, Lorne volunteering to team up with Rodney for at least three missions in a row… But yeah, better act now.

Wearing a smirk, he saunters into the room and… is a little disappointed. He'd hoped for something spectacular which would have probably secured him supreme access to all kinds of explosives from Cadman or Lorne letting him beat up as many Marines as he likes. Instead he just gets Lorne massaging Cadman's shoulders – that's not even enough for a little fireworks – while Cadman frets over the console not doing what she wants it to do. "Damn, I really wish it would take this command…"

Well, at least that gives him a good opening, "Or I could just shoot it."

Immediately, Lorne lets go off Cadman's shoulders and actually _jumps _away from her a little, as if burned. The expression on Lorne's face makes him wish all the more he'd brought a camera because he's pretty sure he'll never see _that_ look again from Lorne – terrified and horribly guilty all in the same moment. Cadman makes a good impression of what the Earth people like to call "deer in headlights" and again that's something some people would refuse to believe she's even capable off. And to top it all, both are blushing heavily.

Lorne is the first to regain his ability to speak. After clearing his throat, he manages to say, "We… uh… we were just… It's not… um…" Sheppard's no-nonsense bone-dry second in command Major Evan Lorne tongue-tied. He never thought he'd see _that_.

Amused he raises an eyebrow. "What it looks like?"

Lorne and Cadman look at each other and it's Cadman's turn now. "Uh… yeah. Exactly. Totally not what it looked like. Well… whatever it did look like." Were these two always _that_ bad at lying? Even if he hadn't heard the conversation preceding his barging in he'd thought that this was _exactly_ what it looked like.

Yeah, well… whatever. "Care to tell me what you _are_ doing here then?" For a moment Lorne looks like telling him that this is none of his goddamn business but Cadman seems to have seen – or sensed? – that before it was too late.

"Trying to save someone's ass by erasing compromising video footage." And now Lorne looks like he's ready to strangle Cadman… or kiss her to shut her up? Mh… this begs for some deeper digging. "A friend of mine, I mean. She… got herself into some trouble and I asked Major Lorne to help me get access to the surveillance room and everything."

Uh-huh. Right. And he agreed to breach protocol and risk his job for some friend of Cadman's who couldn't keep it in his or her pants. Do they really think he believes this ruse to cover up that _they_ couldn't keep it in their pants? Oh well… Earth people. What can you do? "Sure. Need any further help?"

They look at each other again and it's Lorne's turn. "Well… uh… Lieutenant… is there anything Ronon could help us with?" Was Lorne close to calling Cadman by her first name in the presence of someone else right now?

Cadman bites her lip and he notices that Cadman has _nice_ lips… which Lorne also noticed, as much as he wants to hide it. Well then, _this_ Atlantis woman is obviously taken, even if she doesn't know it yet. "Nah, I think I'm fine. If I could just…" She looks at him and suddenly her eyes light up, as if she just had an epiphany. Huh? "Oh… oh, I think I have an idea. I'd need Rodney's password though. It used to be… oh right!" He's not quite sure if it's a _good_ thing that she looks at _him_ and has an idea that has to do something with _Rodney_.

Lorne seems to have noticed something else that's strange about this. "Wait. How the hell do _you_ know what Rodney's password used to be?"

For that, Cadman gives him a _look_. "Got stuck in his head once, remember?"

It's interesting to see that the _look_ actually has an effect on _Lorne_ of all people. "Oh… oh right."

He's pretty sure that Cadman is just _this_ short of rolling her eyes at Lorne but to his surprise she can hold herself off. "Anyway… what was it… 16431879…" Biting her lip again, obviously truly not sure of how to finish it, so he decides to help her out.

"196842." A smirk from him meets Cadman's and Lorne's slightly disbelieving faces. What? That Rodney likes to call him "caveman" doesn't mean he actually _is_ one. "There's something great about people constantly underestimating you."

Cadman grins back at him, knowing exactly what he means. "Yeah, you can say _that_." But then she looks a little disgruntled. "Anyway… I don't think it's gonna work."

Lorne shrugs. "Try anyway." She looks at him with her eyebrows raised and he rolls his eyes. "What? It's the best shot we have."

Still not really convinced she turns back to the console, shaking her head. "Right… okay… Holy crap. I don't believe it. It's been two years since that mind merge from hell and he still hasn't changed his password?" She doesn't seem to expect an answer from them, though, because she just waves dismissively at them and adds without even looking at them, "Now go and do… guy things in some corner while I do some real work."

For a moment, Lorne looks like he's about to contradict that but then the same resignation he sometimes sees in Lorne when he can't convince Sheppard to abandon a totally, as the Earth people say, harebrained scheme and Lorne indicates to him to step back a little from where Cadman is sitting with a jerk of his head.

Lorne throws another look at Cadman who seems to be typing away kind of… happily and then looks back at him, rubbing his neck a little sheepishly. "Look… Ronon… could you… keep quiet about this?"

Determined to take a few digs at Lorne, he looks at him with raised eyebrows. "Concerned about your career?"

A soundless sigh escapes Lorne. "Yeah…a bit." And then he adds something that does surprise him a little, "But… I'm also concerned about Lieutenant Cadman's career."

He takes a moment to study Lorne. The way he keeps sneaking Cadman looks, the way he blushed a little when he admitted being concerned for her career, the way he wants to protect her… he's seen it before, often enough. "You care about her." It's a statement, not a question because it's pretty obvious anyway.

After an _almost_ double-take, Lorne takes a deep breath. "Well…"

But before he can answer, Cadman makes herself known again. "Hey, guys, I've got it!" She makes a gesture of triumph. "Yeah, baby. Call me genius Cadman! Or maybe Laura The Great! Or Super Jarhead! Or…"

"Lieutenant Loudmouth?" Yeah, _that's_ the bone dry Lorne he's used to. However… there's a… _twinkling_ in his eyes he has never noticed before when Lorne's wit was aimed at someone. Huh?

Cadman… Cadman actually sticks out her tongue at Lorne and if he hadn't guessed it already, _now_ he'd be _positive_ there's something going on between the two that goes by the name of fraternization. Should he tell Sheppard? "You do realize I just saved _both_ our asses, right?" And then Cadman adds smugly, "By the way… you might want to lower your voices next time you talk about me. These ears? Always well protected during explosions."

If Lorne was blushing very, very lightly before… he's red as a _ni'katar_ plant right now. Someone hasn't told Cadman yet how he feels about her? If he was Lorne… he'd do so the very moment he's out of the room, no matter if Earth law says it's forbidden or not. Cadman and Lorne… they do make a great couple. Although… there's something he'd like to advise Lorne first, "I'd say you better brush up on your C4 skills, Major. Got the feeling you're gonna need them in the future."

With that he's out of the room, not missing Lorne growing even redder and Cadman looking like that "deer in headlights" again and he just can't stop chuckling again and again on his way to the workout room. They made his day with those looks on their faces and just for that… he'll not tell Sheppard _anything_. If it's something serious – and he just has the feeling that it _is_ or will be in a little while – they'll tell him anyway and they deserve the chance to do so without someone ratting them out. No need for him telling Sheppard anyway.


	72. 070 Storm

**A/N:** Look, I'm back with stories ;) And... crack. Really, there's no other word for this one. Also, it contains a line from "Impressions", the Big Finish Stargate audio drama Kavan Smith did a while back. Whoever finds it (no, **mac**, you aren't allowed to take part in this one), gets a _big_ cookie ;) Oh, oh, oh and one very important thing: This week **mac** and I will celebrate our one year author/beta anniversary and we're looking for ways to celebrate it appropriately. Any ideas?

* * *

Prompt: 070 Storm

**Tangerine trees**** and marmalade skies**

"_Picture yourself in a boat on a river,  
With tangerine trees and marmalade skies.  
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,  
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes."_

_The Beatles, "Lucy In The Sky"_

"Okay, girls, where were we?" She throws a look into the round and the participants of this month's girls' poker night take up their cards again. They are Miko Kusanagi, Sergeant Dusty Mehra, Dr. Sophie Grassberger, Dr. Anita Fernandez – and Yvonne Montfenac-Beiersdorf.

All of them are girls' poker night veterans and some of them are real tough cookies. Miko, for example proved to be an ace at poker because all of them – even Sophie who is an anthropologist – has difficulties reading her body language and Anita is a mathematician who is extremely good with calculating chances and probabilities. Dusty has almost as good a poker face as Miko, and Yvonne is a kick-ass observer. All of them are a pretty good challenge to her, even with her years of poker experience – and experience as a female Marine among hordes of male Marines, where a good poker face makes up at least half of what you need to survive among them for as long as she has.

So… what to do now with her cards… Damn, who the hell chose to disturb her _now_? The looks on the faces of the other participants say about the same and so they chose to ignore the ringing at her quarters' door and have another look into their cards… which doesn't discourage the offender since it rings a second time. And a third time. She looks at the girls again and it's Sophie who says in her curious Austrian-accented English, "I suggest you tell whoever that is to… how do you say it? Beat it," while there's a fourth ringing.

Sighing a little annoyed she folds her cards and gets up – there's no way she'll leave them on the table, with that lot of girls – to open her door. Ready to growl at whoever is out there… only to feel her brain go blank the minute the door has revealed the unfortunate soul to disturb an Atlantis girls' poker night.

Major Evan Lorne. In boxer shorts. Nothing _but_ boxer shorts, to be precise. Oh well, boxer shorts and a bandaged arm, that is. But otherwise… in all his unclothed glory. Not that she hasn't seen it before – after all there are such things as days off on the mainland – but not _this_ closely before her. And damn, does he really have to be such a good example of a well-trained Zoomie SF soldier?

Or – and that's probably the better question – what the hell is he actually _doing_ here, in the middle of the night, half-naked, _in front of her quarters_? She swallows and reminds herself that this is her CO and it also isn't the strangest thing she has ever seen during her time with the SGC and Atlantis – not even the strangest thing she has ever seen in her time as a _Marine_ – so there's no reason to be tongue-tied and stare at Major Lorne like a deer in headlights.

"Sir… can I help you?" He doesn't say anything at first, just looks at her, almost as bewildered as she must look to him. Behind her she can also hear the scraping of chairs being moved around. Not daring to let Major Lorne out of sight – purely out of caution, of course – she doesn't turn around. And she knows what's happening behind her, anyway: The girls got curious and are now very much interested in what's happening at the door. She clears her throat. "Uh… sir? You with me?"

He blinks again and only then seems to register who's standing in front of him. Looking around him very cautiously, as if to ascertain himself that no one followed him. "I need your help, Cadman."

She can barely resist rolling her eyes and telling him that she can see _that_ and instead manages to keep her face straight when she replies, "Hope you don't mind me asking, sir but… help with what exactly?"

There's a snort coming from behind her, sounding like Sophie has a hard time not to be enjoying this too loudly. It's followed by a muffled giggle that sounds like Anita and a delicate little squeaking sound that sure as hell came from Miko. Oh Lord, Major Lorne will never live _this_ one down. "With the Wraith of course."

Another snort, this time from Dusty and she's just _this_ close to losing her decorum as well. But thank God right now she's still too confused to have the leisure of being able to laugh about this. "Of course. The Wraith. I… see what you mean." No, she doesn't but Major Lorne doesn't look like he'd accept no as an answer. If she only knew where his behavior is coming from… and of course her radio is on her night stand at the far end of the room. Otherwise she'd probably have called security right away. After all, he _could_ be possessed by some alien entity or be remote controlled by some of their many enemies or not be Major Lorne after all…

She feels someone tapping her on the shoulder and turns around, trying to divide her attention between Major Lorne and Yvonne. "Painkillers," is the only thing the nurse says and slowly it starts dawning on her what could be the problem here. But just to ascertain herself, she only raises her eyebrows to indicate Yvonne to be just a little more elaborate.

Yvonne rolls her eyes and adds in a hushed voice, "He came back from his last mission injured, Dr. Keller treated the wound and gave him some painkillers and then sent him to his quarters to sleep it off. And did I mention Major Lorne has a history with sleep walking?"

"No, you didn't," she growls back but all Yvonne does is give her a big amused grin. Yeah, great. But at least now she knows what's going on here. Turning back to Major Lorne, she resists a sigh and says, "Sir… with all due respect but… I think it might be a good idea if you went back to your quarters."

That gets her the narrowed CO-eyes and an irritated, "I don't think so, Captain. The Wraith are loose in this city and I expect you to do your duty and help me defeat them." Argh. But yeah, that was to be expected. And is it really asked too much that one of the girls simply calls the infirmary to… no, maybe that's a bad idea. If word of this gets to the infirmary, it'll be all over the city in about ten minutes and she likes Major Lorne enough to want him to spare this embarrassment.

But how to get out of this with as less fuss as possible? "I… understand that, sir. And uh… I will. But first… we… oh, first we need you to get back to your quarters." Come on, she thinks, swallow it… and ignore the increasing number of giggles and snorts coming from the room behind her.

"Certainly not. I have everything I need with me. And I don't think you'd like to be reported for insubordination, Captain." Well, he's got a point there with the insubordination… or he would have if he were in his right mind and they were really overrun by Wraith. Which they are not.

"Sir, really…" He huffs. Someone is starting to get really annoyed with her, it seems. Well, she thinks, the feeling is certainly mutual.

"Dammit, Cadman, what will it take you to do your goddamn duty? You want me to do a striptease on the table and paint myself blue or what?" Good… _God_. Her only response is her mouth opening in surprise and horrification… and from behind her the occasional chuckles have turned into a storm of laughter and giggling, laced with wolf whistles and one foreign remark from Sophie that sounds very much like the Austrian version of a cat call.

And before she can say anything, Dusty chimes in, "Thanks for the offer, sir, but that surely won't be necessary. And it wouldn't be much of a striptease anyway." Another gust of laughter and giggles from behind her.

Okay, that is it. She will end this right now. Determined she turns around, only to see her poker girls leaning on each other and wiping their eyes… and still keep on laughing. "Hey, shut it!" It takes them a minute or two but then they have calmed down enough to be actually listening to her. "This is _so_ not funny. We gotta get Major Lorne back to his quarters ASAP. Do I see any volunteers?"

She expects them to fall over themselves volunteering. After all, you don't get this close to a half-naked Major Lorne every day… but all that happens is the girls crossing their arms in front of their chests and Anita saying, "He's _your_ CO, _you_ get to drag him through half of Atlantis. Good luck with that."

Haha, very funny. But she won't give up on this as easy as they think. And anyway, someone already volunteered, anyway. "Right. Well, then… Dusty…"

"Hey, could you stop talking as if I wasn't here? You just got yourself into serious trouble, Cadman. Not even you can talk yourself…" She's had it now.

Exasperated, she turns back to Major Lorne. "And _you_ will be escorted by Sergeant Mehra and myself to your quarters now, no buts allowed. _Don't_ contradict me because trust me; you don't want to get into trouble with _me_. Did I make myself clear?"

"Captain, I will _not_ tolerate…"

"Did. I. Make. Myself. Clear?" He actually gulps and looks at her, trying to match her stare… and in the end faltering. Whoa… once in a lifetime moment here. And hopefully he won't ever remember _this_ because then she'd _really_ be in trouble.

"Yes." At least he didn't say "Yes, ma'am," because that would have been all kinds of wrong. Of course trying to order him around was already all kinds of wrong but that's… something completely different and was necessary to solve the situation – and the fact that he just _let_ himself be ordered around by her tells her how _grave_ the situation is and that desperate measures are totally okay. Yeah.

"Good. Dusty, you're right, I'm left…" Dusty rolls her eyes and she glares at her as well. "Don't have me make this an order. And you got yourself a ticket to that, anyway. Now, move it, Sergeant." Bearing her fate with surprisingly good humor Dusty finally does as she's told and together they set off to get a seriously disoriented Major Lorne back to his quarters, leaving behind a snickering and giggling rest of the poker round. As much as she likes Major Lorne and as much as she pities him… some part of her still wants him to learn from this escapade, even though he's pretty likely not to remember any of this. And she just has the plan for it forming in her mind.


	73. 013 Yellow

**A/N:** And here we go with the second part to "Storm"... actually, I was really surprised at how much you all liked it (psht, shut up, **mac** :P) and uh... am a little anxious about how you'll like this one (shut up again, **mac** :P). So... uh... have fun reading it ;) Oooh, and thank you ShaViva for the idea for the author/beta anniversary!

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Prompt: 013 Yellow

**Days like these**

"_You're still in bed at ten and work began at eight  
You've burned your breakfast so far, things are going great  
Your mama warned you there'd be days like these."_

_The Rembrandts, "I'll be there for you"_

_Not to impose on you or anything, sir, but… next time they put you on painkillers and send you home to sleep it off you should maybe have someone __make sure you actually stay in bed while you do it. _

_PS.: Nice London Underground boxers. Would love to go there one day myself :) _

Holy… _crap_. Holy, holy, holy crap.

He read the post-it note at least three times now and still all he can think of is "Holy crap." Whatever he did last night while supposed to be in his bed sleeping he obviously didn't do _that_. That doesn't explain, though, what he _did_… and who left the note behind. He thinks he knows the handwriting but for the life of him can't remember whom exactly it belongs to.

It's scrawled and a little slurred but pretty definitely female… and it must be one of his soldiers because they are the only ones who call him… damn, no, some of the technicians also call him "sir" on a regular basis. But yeah, at least that narrows it down to the female soldiers and technicians which means he has only about… oh… 85 suspects. Well, as long as whoever wrote that note didn't insert the "sir" to lead him on a wrong track.

Groaning he lowers his head and starts to massage his neck with his good arm. This is so not a good way to start the day. Feeling hung-over from the stuff they gave him in the infirmary, with a dull ache in his injured arm, drawing a blank on whatever he did last night, racking his head about who left behind that note… and slightly blushing because of the wretched PS. Why ever did he decide to wear boxers instead of his usual pajamas, anyway – and why did it have to be the boxers his sister brought him from her last trip to London, of all things?

Oh well. There's no use in whining, he tells himself. In fact, he has to track down whoever wrote that note to squeeze her for the dirty details of what he did last night… and get her to shut up about this, preferably forever. The last thing he wants is the entire city laughing about him because of something he doesn't even know what exactly it is.

Determinedly, he gets up from his bed and tackles the difficult task of showering and dressing with one arm in a sling. After he has finally managed this, he leaves his quarters to report back for duty… and find an excuse for why he will hole up himself in his office to read handwritten reports for as long as he needs to find the author of that note.

Fortunately both Colonel Sheppard and Colonel Carter believe his ruse of having to reduce the amount of paper work on his desk and refrain from giving him any tasks that require him to be away from aforementioned desk. So he settles down and starts going through all the handwritten reports from female soldiers, technicians, scientists and administration personnel he has received in the last four weeks.

A few times he thinks he's found the culprit but in the end always rejects his suspicions. Dr. Lindsay for example has handwriting that looks very similar but writing something like _that_? Definitely _not_ her style unless her docile and even timid nature is a _very_ good cover for a spirited and cheeky personality. No… definitely not Dr. Lindsay. Then he stumbles over one of Antonia Stavros' reports… but dismisses it almost immediately. Stavros has _never_ called him "sir" before and it's highly unlikely she would do so now all of a sudden.

In the next hours he finds a few suspects that are more likely to be able to pull something off like that note – Dr. Galina Nemkova, Sergeant Dusty Mehra, Private Isobel Herreira, Amelia Banks and Dr. Sabrina Hijdekke – and puts them all on a stack. A little… no, pretty much frustrated, he stares at the stack like it's his worst enemy for a long minute and then stares at the stack with the still unread reports in the same way for another long minute. God, he'll _never_ find the woman responsible for that note.

Annoyed, he growls something unintelligible and decides to let the stacks be stacks for a while and distract himself with lunch. He's not really hungry but at least that will get him out of this dredged broom cupboard – he's almost sure that this was the actual purpose of the "room" – and give him a change of scene for at least half an hour or so. Of course he could also simply call off the search and hope whoever wrote the note is discreet enough to keep everything that happened to herself but for some reason… he feels like he needs to finish what he started. Probably because he _always_ finishes what he started but… ah, hell. Lunch, now.

And so he sets off, keeping himself from grumbling to himself. He doesn't even notice, though, that he looks intimidating enough that people give him a wide berth the whole way from his office to the mess hall. He's about to join the food line… when he suddenly hears someone behind him say, "You know I think I'll pass my next leave in London. Always wanted to go there."

Almost out of reflex his head whips around to see Captain Cadman and Sergeant Mehra disappear behind the next bend and he almost feels like the little light bulb from the cartoons goes on over his head. That's _it_. That scribble is _Cadman_'s handwriting. Of course. Why didn't he see that earlier? Okay, maybe because there was still some residue of those painkillers in his blood… doesn't matter, anyway.

Abandoning his plans for lunch, he actually sinks as low as running into the direction where Cadman and Mehra disappeared, hoping they haven't taken the transporter… Thank _God_ they didn't. Instead they're still walking down the corridor, talking… oh well, it's now or never. And with any luck, Mehra won't know what this is about, anyway.

He jogs up to the two Marines, resisting the temptation to call out to them. Thankfully, he doesn't need to because as soon as they hear him, they stop and turn around. Both look a little questioningly at him when he stops in front of them. "Captain… a word with you?"

Cadman narrows her eyes a little. "Sure, sir. About what exactly?"

For a moment he considers sending Mehra away but for some reason he has the feeling that this would just make her suspicious and not help any so he just takes out the post-it. "About this." With that he hands it over to a still confused looking Cadman.

She takes a moment to read it, not bothering to shield it from Mehra's eyes and… suddenly there's a barely hidden grin on Mehra's face. Oh crap. Ohcrapohcrapohcrap. Mehra _knows_ what this is about, no doubt… and from the look of it because she was actually there when it happened, not because Cadman blabbed about it. Damn.

Cadman, however, actually makes an effort to appear like she isn't fazed by the news and tries to handle the whole situation with at least a minimum of decorum. "Oh, that… well…" And then she does something he really hadn't counted on, "Sergeant… could you excuse us, please?" Mehra wants to protest but Cadman just narrows her eyes again… after… was that a _wink_? Seems like he's really in trouble.

But at least after that Mehra simply nods a little disgruntled at being left out, says, "Of course, ma'am," and turns to leave.

Cadman turns back to him again and he straightens himself. He'll have a very mature and professional conversation about this, no matter if they are in a busy corridor and if Cadman looks like she is having a hard time hiding her amusement. "So… care to tell me how this got into my quarters?"

She folds her fingers behind her back, looking very much by the book and Marine-y. "I put it there, sir."

Uh-huh. Right. That got him… well… nowhere, to be precise. And that she seems to be enjoying herself immensely is _not_ helping, either. "I was aware of that, Captain, thank you very much." Already getting passive-aggressive, sir is what her face says and he does have some difficulties remaining calm about that. "What I meant was: _Why_ did you put it there?" And then he realizes his mistake. Unfortunately, it's already too late.

"To remind you to make sure to be careful when taking painkillers, sir." Yeah, that was to be expected. Still… he feels compelled to remind Cadman of who she is talking with but just for the sake of finding out what exactly happened he decides to rein it in for just a few more moments.

"I appreciate that, Captain… but why exactly did you think it was _necessary_ to remind me?" Come on, he thinks, as funny as this might be for you… why don't you show just a _little_ bit of mercy?

For a moment, it looks like Cadman is about to play her game a little while longer but then she gives him a smile that looks a little sympathetic and says, "Honestly, sir? You don't really want to know." Yes, he does, dammit.

"Oh, I think I do. And I think I _deserve_ to know what happened last night." She bites her lip and looks a little… sheepish now.

"Look, sir… I'm not telling you because… I like you." She… _what_? "As a CO, I mean." Oh… okay. "I made all the girls _swear_ they wouldn't blab and told them what exactly awaits them if they _do_, so you should be…"

"_All the girls_? Captain, what the hell…" That little aside really left him… speechless. Whatever happened… more than two Atlantis women were witnesses to it and that is… all kinds of bad.

Accordingly, Cadman just managed to… blush a little. Oh God, what did he _do_? "Oh, uh… yeah, well, you kinda crashed our girls' poker night last night…" Damn, he'd been sleep walking again. Obviously in his boxers. Right into an Atlantis girls' poker night. Holy fucking… _hell_. Where is that neat hole in the ground when you need it? "Uh, sir, is everything okay? I promise, your little secret will be safe with all of us… but it _would_ be nice if you would reciprocate a little."

Argh! Why did it have to be Cadman of all people to have caught him at sleepwalking in his boxers? She's the only junior officer bold enough to pull off a blackmail. Oh well, he's probably lucky it was only Cadman and not Carter or Sheppard because _that_ would be embarrassing enough for him to consider leaving Atlantis and the Stargate program altogether. He sighs. "Alright, what do you want from me, Cadman?"

Grinning, she shoots at him, "Don't worry, sir, it doesn't involve tables or blue paint." She must have seen his slightly horrified face and hurries to get serious again. "Uh… never mind, sir. Anyway… there's this little issue with Rodney screwing up my experiments because he constantly tampers with some parameters…" Oh… she wants him to harass Rodney? Well, maybe that kind of blackmail isn't _that_ bad after all.

He can wrestle a grin from himself. "Do go on, Captain. I'm most interested." Realizing that he actually decided to go along with her little attempt at blackmail, she gives him another bright grin and starts telling him about Rodney's misdeeds in the explosives lab and while they discuss possible ways to make him stop… he gets the feeling it won't take him that much of an effort to convince her to tell him what he did last night, after all.


	74. 006 Hours

**A/N:** Yay, back again! And I'm just _this_ close to getting into the one digit area (i.e. the last nine pieces needing to be written). BTW, this story is a continuation for "Home" (one of the stories that won a Honorable Mention at the SG Fan Awards... thanks so much for your votes, people!)... and I hope _someone_ will be very happy about it ;) (and thanks so much to **mac** who betaed it despite having personal issues with it!).

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Prompt: 006 Hours

**A tale or two**

"_Got a whale of a tale to tell ya, lads  
A whale of a tale or two  
'Bout the flappin' fish and the girls I've loved  
On nights like this with the moon above  
A whale of a tale and it's all true  
I swear by my tattoo."_

_Kirk Douglas, _"_A Whale of a Tale"_

"Teyla, tell me again why I agreed to do this." She looks from John to the little girl on the couch looking very expectantly at her and John and back again. The look of utter desperation surprises her a little because she thought that several years of taking care of Torren would have steeled him for this little girl as well. She gives a little sigh.

"Because you are a good friend and because Evan and Laura both did this for us as well." He frowns. Three hours ago Evan had called him and asked him for his help and since then he had been bravely fulfilling his duty as Grace Lorne's godfather.

"Yeah, but did it have to happen _tonight_? I mean, Torren's with his father and…" The little girl, Grace Lorne, about to become a sister tonight, gives him a little nudge with her foot.

"Can I have my story, please, Uncle John?" He looks at the little girl and she gives him a sheepish smile that looks very much like her mother's. "Mommy said I'm not allowed to stay up after 1900." A grin graces John's face. She can almost hear what went through his head. Said like a little Marine, no matter how much Evan and Laura don't want their daughter to become a soldier.

John then gives a little sigh finally obviously giving up his resistance and they both settle down to give little Grace her story… to distract her from asking too many questions about where her mother and father are tonight. She remembers that this is what Laura found most important; that her little girl would not even notice that her mother would have to go to the infirmary and be in pain until the child and her mother are ready to visit in the infirmary. "Alright, what's it gonna be tonight, Miss Lorne?"

"_Cinderella_," it comes quick like a shot, accompanied by a bright grin. Yes, she remembers both Evan and Laura complaining about _Cinderella_ being the only fairytale Grace wanted to watch or hear for the past few weeks. She remembers that Torren had had a time when the only story he would accept as a bed time story was the legend about the cunning Hoffan and the strong Idrilian and she is not put off by this request very much. Well… unlike John, obviously.

A sigh indicating he has the weight of the world on his shoulders, John settles back. "Well then, _Cinderella_ it is. So… A long time ago, there was girl and her father…"

"Uncle John?" She can't quite hide an amused smile at Grace's sweet smile – for some reason she is quite sure that the little girl knows _exactly_ how adorable she looks with it – and John's suppressed groan, telling her that he already fears nothing good will come out of whatever Grace asks him next.

"Yes, Miss Lorne?" Grace wriggles around a little on the couch, looking very innocent but she's sure that she is just getting ready to deliver a blow… just like Laura likes to do to Evan when she really, really wants him to do something.

"Uncle John… can you tell the story with mommy and daddy?" Oh, what an… unusual request, she thinks. She basically knows the story of Cinderella, a girl wronged by her evil stepmother and stepsisters. There is one a little bit similar in Athosian lore… and for a moment she is tempted to ask John if she should take over but then again… it's entirely too funny to see him get cornered by the slip of a girl.

He clears his throat. "Uh, well… actually…"

Now Grace bites her lip a little. "_Please_, Uncle John. Tell them with mommy as the princess and daddy as Prince Charming." John looks at her, almost like he's asking her for her help. Well, yes… that request… is as far from the truth as Atlantis is from Earth. Laura a princess? Not on your life, as the people from Earth like to say. And Evan… oh, Evan can be really charming, but _Laura_ had never needed _him_ to rescue her like the princes always rescue the princesses in the Earth fables.

John seems to think the same but is sensitive enough not to actually _voice_ it. Well… she will give him credit for that, at least. "Right. Princess Laura and Prince Evan. Got that. So… there once was a girl named _Laura_…"

"Tell it as _their_ story, Uncle John." Now she's sure that Grace knows exactly what she's doing, even though she's only five years old. She wonders… if she got this from Laura… or from _Evan_.

She can also sympathize with John who looks positively overwhelmed now because Laura's and Evan's story… is nothing near the story of Cinderella and Prince Charming and most of it didn't even happen on Atlantis. In fact… Grace was born on Earth; about a year after both Laura and Evan had ended their tour and returned to Earth. Neither had ever told anyone anything but she is very sure that their reason for not applying for a second tour had not been entirely professional. Through all the years since then she had had contact with them, had even visited them, first on her own and with Torren, then also with John when they had finally let themselves grow closer.

It still had come as a surprise to her when Evan had accepted taking up a posting as Atlantis' military leader after John had resigned his position and his commission to stay in the Pegasus galaxy as a civilian advisor because it had come not long after Laura had transferred back to Earth from a position she understood to be very beneficial to her career… and not exactly good for her family and her marriage.

When the Lorne's had arrived back in Atlantis, Laura had already been pregnant again – something tells her that unlike Grace this little one had been not exactly planned and had probably been the result of a marriage saved by deciding against a career – but it hadn't kept her from working hard to justify that she was here in her own right, not as something the Earth people called an "Air Force wife".

"Well then, Miss Lorne… we've got Princess Laura and Prince Evan… and who would be the king, mh?" Ah, clever. Very clever. He lets Grace take an active part in the story… and also minimizes his own work. As Grace ponders his question, he throws her a look and she tries to tell him with her eyes what she thinks of his laziness. But instead of remorse she only gets… a cocky grin. Oh well. That was certainly to be expected.

Then Grace seems to have come to a decision. "Not a king, a queen! Sam! I want Sam as the queen." That makes her smile, most of all because Grace stubbornly resists all attempts from her parents to make her call Colonel Carter 'Colonel Carter'. Of course… it would help if _Colonel Carter_ would also support these attempts. "Oh, and I want Ronon as the queen's advisor." Well… Grace is certainly… inventive.

John can't hide an amused grin as well. She's sure he had to endure his fair share of grumbling from Evan about his daughter refusing to show proper decorum to his CO… she certainly heard it often enough from Laura. "Very well. So we've got a Princess, a Prince, a Queen, an advisor… Teyla, who's missing?"

He really likes to do that. Testing her knowledge of Earth lore. "If I recall it correctly, an evil stepmother, two evil stepsisters… is that right, Grace?"

Vigorously, Grace nods. Oh yes, Laura did not exaggerate when she said that Grace _really_ likes _Cinderella_. "Oh yes! One of them _has_ to look like Aunt Jenny." Oh… where did _that_ come from?

John seems to have had the same thought as he looks at her a little horrified and admonishes, "Now, Miss Lorne, that's _not_…"

"And the other looks like Dr. Heightmeyer," Grace interrupts him and gives him another innocent smile. But did she detect a hint of Laura's mischievous twinkle in those gray eyes? John shortly looks to her for help but it's entirely too funny to see him trying to get himself out of this on his own.

Accordingly, the second look he shoots her is one that says very clearly something like "Some help you are." Out loud, he says, with his index finger raised, "Miss Lorne, I'm sure your parents…"

"And Dr. McKay is the evil stepmother," Grace delivers her death blow. It surely is the death blow to John's resolve as he simply can't help cracking a grin and even let out a short snort… probably because instantaneously the picture of Rodney looking like the evil stepmother in this _Cinderella_ movie… and quite frankly: The only reason she isn't laughing outright about it is that she thinks Laura and Evan would not approve of their friends egging their daughter on in such behavior.

But then again… this _is_ Rodney McKay they are talking about. And so she quite agrees with John when he sighs, "Okay, you _are_ your parents' kid." Grace looks very much like she just accomplished some important task… and maybe in her mind she _did_.

Grace wants to say something but suddenly her head whips up and without further explanation she jumps up to run to the door… and in the exact same moment the door opens, she squeals, "Daddy!" Evan doesn't look a bit surprised about it and so she assumes that at least _he_ knows how well their daughter already communicates with the city… or how well the city communicates with _her_.

He scoops his daughter up in his arms and in this moment she can understand very well why Laura would want to give up a very prestigious posting to be with him and her daughter. Laura has never said anything directly about it but she always understood that it wasn't easy for her giving up the Alpha site while her husband took up a posting even more prestigious only two months later. Only now she fully realizes how important Grace and Evan are to her.

"Hey, know what, penguin? You're a big sister now." Ah, so everything went well indeed. She smiles but John is the first one to say something.

"Congratulations. Laura okay?" Evan nods and for a moment she can see a huge wave of relief washing over him. It seems he had been more worried about Laura in the past nine months than he ever let on.

"Yeah, just a little tired." Then he looks at Grace again, inquiring, "You've been a good girl, right?" Fervently, the little girl nods.

She feels compelled to add, "Yes, she behaved very well. She was… what do you call it? A regular little angel?" At that Evan throws her a little disbelieving look. Well… obviously she isn't the only one having noticed how alike Laura and Grace are in certain moments.

And did John just mumble something like, "I bet Rodney would beg to differ."?

Evan, however, chooses to ignore that. "Alright then… would you like to see your little sister?" A squeal is Grace's only answer and Evan can't help grinning. "I take that as a yes." Then he sets her down on the floor and she makes straight for the door, obviously willing it to open. Not even a stern look from her father makes her stop to try and for a moment or two she's sure to see a battle of wills over the control of the door erupting between the two.

In the end, it's Evan who wins but she just has this feeling that… it won't take long until Evan – and Laura – will face greater challenges from Grace's considerable willpower than just a door. Clearly to distract them from the little scene, Evan clears his throat and smiles at them while keeping an eye on his daughter. "Thanks for helping out. I'm really sorry for imposing her on you but…"

She wants to say something but to her surprise it's John who beats her to it. "Don't worry. She's a great kid and… it's what friends do, after all."

At that… Evan blushes a little but Grace prevents any further conversation on this with pointing out, "Mommy said I need to be in bed by 1900. I want… I would like to see my sister before that."

Evan, never one to resist his daughter for long, sighs, gives them an apologizing shrug and turns to her to finally open the door. "Okay, then. Go ahead. But _no_ running," and in the same moment… Grace starts to run down the corridor. Growling something that sounds very much like, "She certainly didn't get _that_ from me," Evan charges after her.

Together with John she watches them disappear behind the next bend, Grace's laughter as her father obviously caught her ringing towards them. "Well…" John says after another moment, "let's just hope the second kid is a little less like Laura and a little more like him. Just for _his_ sake."

She considers this for a moment and then replies with a little knowing smile, "Oh… I do think he would not want it any other way." Then she turns to John, smiling a quite different smile having just realized they have the remainder of the evening just for themselves, "And neither would I."


	75. 087 Life

**A/N:** Alright, everyone... this is not a _real_ Halloween story (at least not like the nicely spooky "The Veil" by **ShaViva** - go and read it if you haven't done so yet!) but Halloween did provide a nice background for it. Also, it's the story I managed to write for the prompt "puppies, bread and ginger ale" from writingprompt at Twitter. Took me a while to figure out what exactly to do with it so I hope you like the result :) (BTW, posting it on Halloween? **Mac'**s idea... she always does have the best ideas ;)).

Oh, oh, oh, before I forget it: Yesterday I was looking through my "Protect and Survive" folder and realized I have a fully written interlude between "Show the world" and the next big PAS-piece (the one that's giving me a few headaches because I can already see it turning out to be epic, at least in comparison to the other PAS-pieces... I think that happened when it turned from a family visit fluff piece into an evil Lorne psycho!whump piece...) still on my hard drive. Do you want me to post it? Or do you want to wait until I'm done with Fanfic100?

* * *

Prompt: 087 Life

**A puppy**

"_If only I could have a puppy  
I'd call myself so very lucky  
Just to have some company  
To share a cup of tea with me  
I'd take my puppy everywhere."_

_Harry Nilsson, "The Puppy Song"_

What exactly is she doing here? Of all the ideas members of the Atlantis crew had to kill time and find a distraction from the city's day-to-day routine, this is probably one of the worst _ever_. And the question that is even more pressing is: Why did she agree to go along with it and even contribute something to this idiotic scheme?

Okay, right.

Because she wouldn't have been allowed to take part if she hadn't made a contribution herself and then she would have had to find her own means to kill time. And so she is sitting in the back of the room and watching home videos of all the Atlantis crew members that donated one and trying to spot the crew member that donated the video in the video itself.

At the moment there's a little girl with black curls who is holding a diploma into the camera, a little shyly but also with considerable pride showing through and people are shouting into the room.

"Dr. Androvskaya!"

"Oberleutnant Sundermeier!"

"Shanti… whatshername… Haidhati!"

She tilts her head a little and narrows her eyes… hey, that's an easy one. Grinning she mutters in a low voice, "Huh, that's a no-brainer."

"Really? What makes you think that, Lieutenant?" She actually jumps a little at the low male voice that suddenly comes from her left and she half turns around. Major Lorne. What the _hell_ is _he_ doing here?

But yeah, retaining her composure is really first priority here. "Easy, sir. The hair, the eyes… and you could see the name on the diploma for a moment." People keep shouting names into the room but the techie that's in charge of the videos only grins at them. Major Lorne, though, raises his eyebrow and gestures for her to go on. "Elizabeth Weir. That's the boss on the screen there." Now she can't quite hold back a smug grin.

Lorne gives her a slightly skeptical look and then turns his eyes back to the screen where the video is shown again so that people can get a better look. After a moment, his face becomes surprised. "You're right. Good work, Lieutenant." She can't help another smug grin. He wants to say something else but in that moment someone else has _finally_ guessed who the little girl is. After a little uproar in the room at the result – wait, was that just Elizabeth Weir sneaking out of the back of the room, a little smile on her face? – the techie hits a button on his laptop and… good God.

Her face must have betrayed her since she can hear a slightly amused, "Someone you know, Lieutenant?" from her left. Damn, why did she enter this contest? And why did she give them _that_ video? Determined _not_ to look at her superior, she looks around the room to see the other people's reactions… and nearly all their faces show smiles and grins and a few of them are openly laughing, obviously enjoying the slightly… _different_ kind of video they get.

Before, you could fairly easy guess if the participant donating the pictures or videos was a techie, a soldier, someone from the diplomatic or administrative staff or a scientist because they had all chosen something that included stuff that could compromise them – a diploma or a clumsy martial arts performance or some award won – but hers is… nothing like that.

In fact, it shows herself running around her parents' living room in something that has a remote likeness to an astronaut's suit. Well, to those who were there when it was still recognizable as one, that is. Actually… the only person still able to recognize that thing as an astronaut's suit is _her_.

There are snorts now throughout the room and one that sounds particularly amused comes from her left again. Well… there don't seem to be much left that would get her out of this with her dignity intact so she turns to the Major again and says, "Probably. And also someone _you_ know, sir."

"Do I, huh?" What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean? She chooses not to respond to _that_ but instead concentrates on the names people throw in the ring at the sight of the little girl with the messy red hair in the tattered remains of a handmade astronaut's suit chasing a lively English shepherd puppy.

Someone from the front shouts "Erin O'Laughlin!" while someone else a little closer to herself throws in "Natalya Erikova!" With a little luck… no one will find out who this actually is and her reputation will be saved. Trying to look totally unfazed, she leans back in her seat and looks at the screen again.

The little movie was filmed at the first Halloween she can remember. She was five and the suit had been the first time her mother hadn't been able to curb that stubborn streak of hers. The _plan_ had been to be dressed as a cute little princess because didn't _all_ little girls at five want to be princesses? However, her mother had run into a road block because little Laura Cadman had had a very definite idea about what her Halloween costume was supposed to be… and it hadn't involved either a dress or a crown.

Now a wistful little smile crosses her face. It had taken her two months of work to complete the suit as best as she could and then her father had gotten her Dinah – the little English shepherd – for her birthday the day before Halloween… and Dinah had made quick work of the suit. She had been so… _irate_ that day but when Dinah had died 15 years later… "Lieutenant? Everything okay?"

She clears her throat. Crap… her eyes aren't moist, right? "Yes, sir. I'm… fine, thank you. I just… I…"

"Our first dog was a Labrador called Chino. I still miss him like hell sometimes." She looks at him again and the amusement has made way for a sad little smile and a serious undertone to his voice.

God, she can't believe she's _this_ close to losing it over a little Halloween video… right in front of her CO, only six months after arriving in Atlantis. So she makes an effort to save what little is left of her decorum. "It's not about the dog, sir. Just about… well…" He raises his eyebrow, as if to say, 'Then what _is_ it about?'

But instead he only says, "Of course it's not about the dog. It's never _just_ about the dog." Then he pauses for a moment… only to continue, looking like he just came to a decision, "Listen, Lieutenant, if you want to talk…"

No, not gonna happen. Not here, not now, maybe never. Her CO is about the _last_ person she would think about talking to about being homesick. If she _was_ homesick, that is. But she's not. She's just… she needs… "Thanks, sir, but I'm fine. I'll… I just need to find something other than sandwiches to eat and it also would be nice to find something stronger to drink than _ginger ale_…" Lorne starts to look a little… confused. Okay, she probably should just get up and stop babbling. "Nice talking to you, sir, really, but I have this thing in the explosives lab waiting for me and… do me a favor, sir?"

Still a little confused nod. "Sure, what is it?"

She smirks. "Don't use your insider knowledge to expose me. I have a reputation to uphold, you know."

That gets him to smirk as well. "Sure, Lieutenant. Can't promise that no one will get it on their own, though." That's her clue to get up, she thinks, but he doesn't let her. "Uh, Lieutenant, no offense but… what exactly were you supposed to be?"

She gives him a _look_, the one that always worked with her brothers when they were asking stupid questions. "I think that's pretty obvious, sir."

Giving her back a _look_ – one of those he usually reserves for Colonel Sheppard when he's being his usual irrational self – he replies, "Not to _me_."

Oh goody, that gives her a great way to escape him without losing face… well, too much, that is. She gets up and tells him, "I'd tell you, sir, but… I have a few mission reports to finish. Thanks for the promise, though." And with that she's finally out of the room, away from his sudden interest in her and the images on the screen and everything they bring with them.

After that incident, she manages to stay away from Major Lorne for a whole two weeks and even starts to forget the whole thing… until she finds a nice little package in front of her door, with only her name on it and nothing more – no sender's name or anything. Curious, she takes it up and enters her quarters, starting to open it the moment the door closes. After a little haggling with the paper, she finds something black and plushy inside that… turns out to be a plush bat.

"What the…" she starts but then finds a little note attached to, saying, "It's not exactly a puppy... but it does keep occasional bouts of homesickness away rather nicely." A reluctant grin is forming on her face… and then she discovers that there's something written on the backside of the note. "By the way, still waiting for you unravel the mystery of the Halloween costume, Lieutenant. Coffee in the mess some time? PS.: Your secret is still save with me." Holy crap… he didn't just ask her on a… no way he did. So… it would be perfectly safe for her to take up that offer, wouldn't it, she thinks reassuring herself and… a smile appears on her face. Maybe taking part in that damn contest had been worth _something_ in the end.


	76. 071 Broken

**A/N: **Anyone remember my "Road Not Taken"-pieces (if not: they were - in correct reading order - "Blue", "Sense", "Days", "Fixed", "Rain" and "Choices")? I did say "Choices" was only temporary closure. This one here takes place maybe a couple of days or weeks after "Choices". It posed a challenge for me since it's is the first - and probably only - piece I ever did from Cam's point of view and to be honest the only SG1-ep with Cam I ever watched was "The Road Not Taken" so I sincerly hope my AU!Cam-voice is believable and in character. After this there's still one RNT-piece among Fanfic100 missing. However, I have taken a kind of liking to this series (no, really? Coulda fooled me...) and I'm thinking of continuing it for a bit when Fanfic100 is done, just like the Twiniverse (because, for me, there are still too many loose ends that are begging me to tie them up, in _both_ 'verses). Anyone interested?

Anyway, concerning the story: Since the lyrics are in German, I have, as always in this case, included a translation done by myself at the end of the story. I do hope I could do the original lyrics justice :sighs: And of course: Thanks to **mac** for _still_ being my beta, despite all the rabid bunnies and me being a very naughty author and all my attempts at killing... well, you know who, mac, with Lorne/Cadman ;) (yes, that was necessary... you need to let go of... you know what I mean :P)

Oh, and: severe language warning for this. Really, I mean it. Don't say I didn't warn you :P

* * *

Prompt: 071 Broken

**Tore**** you up**

"_Was hat dich so zerrissen?  
__Was hat dich so verletzt?  
Was hat dich und dein Leben und dein Herz so zerfetzt?"_

_Juli, "Zerrissen"_

She's vaguely familiar, he knows that much. He knows that red hair and those hazel eyes from _somewhere_… but he really can't put a finger on where he knows this woman from. Something in the back of his mind gives him a kick in the ass, frowning and whispering, "That's what you get for boozing and indulging in your anti-depressants, you ninny." But he's become so very adept at ignoring this voice that sounds like one of his instructors that he only needs to endure it for about a fraction of a second.

However, there's still this woman in front of his door that he needs to get rid of. Why did he open that damn door anyway? "What do you want?"

She clears her throat and for a moment he can see that she's not sure how to react but then it seems like there's a jolt going through her and suddenly she stands with her back just a little straighter, her chin just a little higher, her whole bearing just a little more poised and a picture flashes through his mind. Almost two years ago, a briefing at that dredged Mountain, a female Marine standing at attention… "Talk to you. Sir."

He's almost tempted to give her a humorless laugh. It's been _ages_ since anyone called him "sir"… so long ago, in fact, that he doesn't even remember when the last time was. Still she did it and maybe that's what makes him hesitate to slam the door back in her face. Instead he replies, sounding as weary as he feels already, "No kidding, huh? Any special reason or topic, maybe? Or are you just here for a nice chit-chat over coffee?"

Unfortunately, she isn't put off much by his gruff behavior and even lets something of a smile show through. "Exactly, sir."

Damn, if he only knew that woman's name. Obviously she knows _his_ name and it makes him feel more than just uncomfortable that he has no idea who she is. He _has_ seen her before and more than once, he's sure about that. He gives her another once over, racking his brains… and she suddenly blushes. "Oh, uh, sorry, maybe should I introduce myself to you first. I'm Lieutenant Laura Cadman, sir. From the SGC."

Laura Cadman. Suddenly a bell rings faintly in the back of his mind. Ah, yeah, one of the 'Gate security teams, got herself into a spectacular scrape involving C4 and someone's locker, in her first week at the Mountain… yeah, he remembers her now. That doesn't explain, though, what the _hell_ she's doing at _his_ doorstep. And what really irritates him is that by now she has gotten him interested enough that simply slamming the door into her face is not an option anymore.

Still determined to be as rude as he can, he lights the cigarette he was about to smoke and snaps, "And you're here on a mission to recruit me back or what?"

Now she rolls her eyes and he starts to remember that the first and foremost thing Cadman had been known for was her volatile temper. He'd even gotten a glimpse of that once… but he's past being afraid of a woman's temper, of _anyone's_ temper. Right? "Actually, I came here to apologize. But seeing as you're not in the mood for visitors and would rather continue feeling sorry for yourself…"

No _way_ she's gonna go accuse him of feeling sorry for himself… even if that _is_ what he's mostly doing nowadays. "Oh no, you're gonna stay here. What's this whole apologizing business about, huh?"

She raises her eyebrow and he has the distinct feeling she has him exactly where she wanted him. "Look who's interested all of sudden. And look who forgot all about his manners." He shoots her a look that's part questioning and part annoyed. "I ain't gonna apologize to you on your doorstep, sir."

Ah, so _that_'s the deal. He lets her in and she tells him why she came to bother him. Oh well, it's not like he's got any pressing appointments to keep, anyway. Grudgingly, he wheels away from the door and makes a grand gesture. "Welcome to my humble abode, Lieutenant."

For a very short moment, he can see her hesitating – getting cold feet now, Lieutenant? – but then she brushes past him into his apartment and… something like shame stirs deep in his mind when he follows her with his eyes and sees a vibrant young woman standing amid his den of apathy, depression and self-pity.

Cadman, however, simply plops down on his couch and was he mistaken or did he see some sort of tiredness and relief cross her face for a minute? Maneuvering over to her with his cigarette in the corner of his mouth he more or less growls, "Well?"

She rubs her neck and then a hand over her face and it seems like her courage is threatening to leave her again but then she clears her throat and seems to have gotten her act together. "I, uh… I don't know if you remember me but I was at the SGC at the time they threw you out of the program because you wouldn't keep quiet anymore about what was happening… well…"

"You mean because I wasn't their good little tin soldier anymore?" Dammit. He hadn't meant to sound so bitter about it. Instead it should have sounded casual.

However, Cadman just nods. "Yes, sir." And could she just _stop_ calling him "sir"? All it does is remind him of what he lost because he wasn't able to keep his trap shut and keep his damn sense of decency under wraps. "Anyway, uh… I just wanted to tell you that… I thought you were right about speaking up against declaring martial law and using the SGC's power to hurt and kill civilians. I'm… I'm sorry for never having the heart to openly agree with you or at least tell you that you weren't all alone in that at the SGC."

Huh. Wow. That… was something he totally hadn't had on his radar. It's been _ages_ since all of that had happened and also since the last SGC-member visited him. And even then it had been a member of an alternative SGC, a Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter, somehow stranded in their reality. He swallows and takes a deep draw from his cigarette. For a moment he considers simply throwing her out, just for ripping open all those old wounds and fueling his righteous anger just when he had thought he'd finally come to terms with the fact that it was all stupidity on _his_ part, not the SGC's.

But then he looks at her again and realizes what a big amount of courage it must have cost her to seek him out – somehow he has the feeling that it's still not a thing the SGC leaders approve of even if democracy is well on its way to be fully restored again – and apologize for not standing up for him in front of her peers.

He can see that she's genuinely ashamed of it, even if she doesn't have to; he'd been an SGC soldier once and he doesn't blame her for wanting to stay with it rather than expose herself and risk being thrown out, in a time when the SGC was maybe the only institution giving some sort of shelter. He takes another draw from his cigarette. "Care to tell me what made you come here _today_ of all days?"

She bites her lip, runs her fingers through her lose hair. "They… threw out another one for not being a good little tin soldier anymore."

Again he's irritated at himself because despite everything that made him curious. He raises his eyebrow and just asks, "Who?"

At that, Cadman fiddles around a little with the hem of her sweater and then replies, "Evan Lorne."

A snort of disbelief escapes him. No _way_ that they threw out _Major Evan Lorne_ for disobedience, insolence or insubordinance. Just _no_ way. Not Evan Lorne, leader of SG1, above everyone and everything in manner of dutifulness and loyalty to the SGC. He shakes his head. "You've gotta be kidding me."

Cadman leans back now, somehow looking… pleased with herself. As if she just accomplished a stage in a plan. Huh? "No, I'm not. A couple of months ago… a member of his team got injured off-world and he had to get back to the SGC without the soldier. They declared the team member KIA and wanted him to leave it alone but he basically told General Hammond to stick his orders where it's dark and gated back to that planet to get his soldier back." _That's_ is certainly _not_ the Major Lorne _he_ knows. That's not quiet, goody-two-shoes Lorne who never made a false step in his life. There'd been rumors going around about him and his 2IC Major Samantha Carter but it had been pretty plain that those two clearly hadn't been anything more than friends.

"Seriously Lieutenant, who are you trying to kid? Lorne would never…"

"He did. That's all that counts. He defied orders and he got her out alive." Wait… _her_? He'd love to know who that girl was that made Lorne go all crazy… wait. The slight blush when she said Lorne's name… the almost hidden tenderness in her voice… That team member had been _her_. God, he can't believe Lorne lost his head – and most probably his career – over the Marine sitting across from him. Maybe she still thinks the same, which is why she kept omitting that little detail. He's got enough tact left not to confront her with that… yet.

Instead he smirks at her and says, "So, what's he doing now? Joined the ranks at the job center?"

A little sheepishly, she rubs her neck again. "Not… exactly. He's… a Lieutenant Colonel at NORAD now."

Yeah, sure. Of course. Promoting people is today's SGC way of punishing them for disobeying orders. Who's she trying to kid? With his voice dripping with sarcasm he replies, "That's some kind of really mean punishment."

"For him, it is." When she says that, she's absolutely serious, with no hint of irony or sarcasm in her voice, only… a small trace of… guilt? Dammit, he's getting more and more interested in that whole story between her and Lorne.

He gives her short humorless laugh. "Really, huh?"

"Yes." She looks a little weary now and he almost regrets being such an asshole about the whole thing. "He hates having to fly a desk… despite claiming the opposite." There it is again; that strange trace of guilt in her voice. He can also see the weariness increasing and he wonders… what exactly happened on that planet and how badly she was injured.

Feeling a little ashamed of himself, he grudgingly admits, "Guess I have to take your word for it."

"Yeah, guess you have to," Cadman confirms. And then… her face lights up in a small mischievous smile. "But then again, there's one good thing about it: He got the girl."

"The girl?" he hears himself asking, sounding – and feeling – just a little bit like an idiot.

Obviously, she thought about the same but she doesn't comment on it, simply says, "Yeah. Me."

Surprisingly, there's a piercing stab at his heart and finally all the old bitterness is threatening to overwhelm him again. He _knows_ she's not the one to be angry at but he still can't help sounding very acerbic when he replies, "Yeah, _that_ is some really evil punishment."

In her eyes, there's this spark of temper again and she snaps almost hotly, "Watch it, Mitchell."

Ah, so the "sir" is finally gone. But so is his patience. He certainly had _not_ wanted to hear about someone getting _promoted_ for breaking the UCMJ and so he snaps back just as agitated, "What? You really want me to feel _sorry_ for Lieutenant Colonel Lorne who got a nice cozy spot at NORAD and a spunky little Lieutenant and a cherry on top for defying orders?"

For a moment it looks like she'll go off on him like a grenade – which would be somehow ironic, seeing as he now remembers that her specialty were explosives – but after flexing her hands once or twice she seems to be able to rein in most of her temper. "No. I want you to stop sitting around feeling sorry for yourself and get up – in a… manner of speaking, I mean – and fight for what you deserve."

He's just _this_ short of an unnerved groan. Does she really think she can accomplish what Colonel Carter failed to accomplish? "Just to remind you: Fighting against the SGC was what got me here in the first place."

She flexes her hands again and he can see _her_ impatience increasing now. "Yeah, but things have changed. And they haven't forgotten about you at the SGC… they just feel ashamed for what they did to you. So dammit, give them _hell_ for it like Evan gave them hell for deciding to let me die out there."

At the mentioning of Lorne… he can just shake his head and respond wearily, "I'm not Evan Lorne, Cadman."

Cadman shakes her head as well. "No, you're not." Then she takes a deep breath and adds, "You're Cameron Mitchell and you're a goddamn hero in your own right and you could be out of that fucking wheelchair and up in a 302 again, if you just had the guts to make a stand for it."

What the _hell_? She's a goddamn _Lieutenant_ and a _Marine_ at that and she _dares_ telling _him_ – a Major and an air combat veteran who fucking gave everything for his country and his planet – what to do? "Hey, listen, _no one_ dares calling me a coward."

She narrows her eyes at him and it occurs to him that he might have gone too far now. Her voice is deathly calm when she replies with, "I just did because you fucking _behave_ like one," and he has the feeling that this is just the calm before the storm. How the hell could she get to him so _fast_, faster and better than Carter?

"Now _you_ watch it!" Instead of being properly shocked and ashamed… Cadman just gives him a smug half grin and folds her arms in front of her chest.

"If _you_ show me you aren't." Dammit, this woman drives him _insane_. How the hell could she turn Lorne's head so much he defied orders for her and risked a dishonorable discharge? How the hell could _Lorne_ of all people fall for this… spitfire, this wildcat?

Anyway, this is just too much for today and she rattled too much of his comfortable apathy already. She's gotta go. _Now_. "No sister, that's not gonna work. I tried going up against the forces of evil before and look where it got me. I'll not even look at that fucking Mountain again. And you'd do best if you'd _go_ now."

There's… silence for a moment and all she does is look at him, thoughtful. Then she gets up and says, "Yeah, probably," and walks over to the door to open it. But just when he thinks she'll finally leave, she turns around again, smirking at him. "Just don't think this is the last that you see of me."

Furious at her for disrupting his dull but cozy daily routine and actually making him angry enough to really considers going up against the SGC, if only for a moment, he scowls. "Oh, I think it is. Get lost, Cadman."

She smirks again. "We'll see about _that_."

With that, she's out of his door and he feels relieved and kind of smug when she leaves… unfortunately only for a few moments because he starts to get the feeling Laura Cadman isn't one to let go of something easily. Something tells him that… she wouldn't be Lorne's girlfriend now if she did. He's not quite sure if he should be annoyed by the prospect of just having let someone like her into his life, as unwillingly as it had happened, or look forward to the next time of seeing her – which, as he just realized, is almost inevitable – and _that_ thought… actually frightens him to no end.

~*~

_"What tore you up like this?  
What hurt you like this?  
What tore you and your life and your heart to shreds like this?"_

_Juli, "Torn"_


	77. 002 Middles

**A/N:** So here we go with the last RNT-piece (well, for the time being...). It was inspired by **mac** mentioning something about fighting and making up later... I'm not sure what it was exactly but it did inspire this story... you'll know why when you read it ;) And I'd wanted to say something els... oooh, right. Christmas fic? How about another one? I may have one prompt open for this kind of story and... do you want another one? Or maybe a "Minor Characters" Christmas story? I might be able to mix something up and the timeline should work fine for it :)

Oh, and a language warning again... but as mac said: "Its a Marine and a flyboy for godssake! There is a certain amount of swearing to be expected!"

* * *

Prompt: 002 Middles

**Mad for a while**

"_I think I'm right, I think you're wrong  
I'll prob'ly give in before long  
Please don't make me smile  
I just wanna be mad for a while."_

_Terri Clark, "I just wanna be mad"_

"This is stupid, Laura, and you know it!" Wham. A door slams open and their former team leader, Lieutenant Colonel Evan Lorne, comes running through the team ready room, chasing their only female team member, newly promoted 1st Lieutenant Laura Cadman in what looks like one of their most spectacular fights… well, yet.

"One… two… three…" He looks beside him, where Harry Linley has been sitting on the ready room's couch – when did that thing get here, anyway? – and looks like he's sorely missing… well… popcorn.

He sighs. This has been going on for about an hour now, ever since Laura came to him to tell him about some thing or the other and suddenly Lorne had come storming into the ready room, pretty worked up.

Ever since then… they've been at it, shouting at each other, running from one door to the other, chasing each other… And yes, in that moment, the other door opens _again_ and Laura comes flying through it. "I can't believe you just called me _stupid_!" Both Linley's and his head follow her marching through the room to the door Lorne just had come through.

"My money's on Caddy, all the way." Linley again but before he can answer, Lorne comes storming in again, chasing after Laura.

"Well, what else should I call you? Foolish? Half-witted? Harebrained?" Ouch. If Lorne would have taken the time and actually stopped and stayed in the room he would have told him now that this was about the most stupid thing he could have said in this whole situation. He knows that Janice, _his _wife, would probably move back to her mother if he said that to her, so he mentally prepares for Laura going off like a mid-sized nuke. At _least_.

Beside him, Linley just made a choking noise. He smirks. "Everything okay, Harry?"

Linley coughs. Then, "Yeah… yeah, sure. Unless… you happen to have some popcorn ready?" Ah, he knows that tone. Outwardly, Linley is still trying to be the cocky bastard, but underneath he's already bracing himself for the inevitable fall out that's going to come now. But… it's silent… they look at each other, him questioning and Linley just shrugging.

Mentally, he begins a countdown from ten, a bit like the one Linley just did… and when he's at six, the silence is broken. "Harebrained? _Harebrained_? Who do think you are, Lieutenant Colonel 'Sure that there are two lines on that thing?'?" Okay… at least now they have an inkling what this whole thing could be about… Or at least _he_ has, because he asked Janice exactly the same thing two weeks ago.

Linley, though, looks at him, clueless. Seems like Charlotte and he aren't that far in their family planning yet. He sighs and mouths "Laura's pregnant," and Linley's face lights up in sudden realization… and then it looks… shocked. Another suppressed sigh. Yeah, that _is_ surprising news. He just hopes she actually just learned about that because as her new CO… he does have some choice words about being left in the dark about something like _this_.

"I think I'm that baby's goddamn _father_ and I know that there are fucking regs for pregnant Marines _and_ I also think that I do _not_ want you to fly across half the country in your condition!" He's pretty sure he knows what's coming now.

"In my condition? In my _condition_? For God's sake, I'm _pregnant_, not _ill_!" Yep, exactly that. And he's starting to get increasingly uncomfortable sitting here, listening to a domestic fight about something rather private and he already wants to give Linley a jerk of his head and drag him out of the room but Linley… looks to be too interested to even _think_ about leaving the room.

But one can still try, right? "Harry…" Linley just waves his hand.

"No, no, wait. I just want to test a theory…" A theory? A _theory_? A little flabbergasted, he stares at Linley. "Come on, Jim; don't tell me you haven't had the thought before." Thought? Which thought? "Jim, seriously… look at them. I mean, the way they are fighting… says a lot about… _other_ things they do, huh?"

He turns to Linley, his face kind of… disgusted. "God, Harry, I did _not_ want to hear this about Laura and… our goddamn ex-CO. And… why in hell would _anyone_ want to think about _that_, let alone _you_?" Linley wants to answer but gets interrupted again.

"Yeah, but it's not even three months since you recovered from your complications and… Laura! Stay here, goddammit!" Laura, however, obviously shows no inclination to stay where she is because she comes charging back into the room. But instead of running past him and Linley, she comes to stand directly in front of them, followed by an irate Evan Lorne.

"Guys, could one of you _please_ tell this overprotective mother hen here that I'm okay and that accompanying him to his parents shouldn't pose _any_ threat to my health?" He wants to open his mouth but is a tad too slow because now it's Lorne's turn.

"Yeah, and while you try that, could you please tell this inconsiderate happy-go-lucky girl here that it's _forbidden_ for pregnant Marines to do anything even remotely close to combat? Jim?" Oh, great. Why him? Why _always_ him?

Oh, right. Because Lorne made sure he would be promoted to Major and given the command of SG1 before he himself was transferred out of the SGC. He's still not quite sure if the Colonel meant it as a reward or a punishment and at the moment… he'd just _bet_ it was the latter. Both Laura and Lorne are glaring at him, both in their unique ways. And is Linley wearing his "Hey, all I need now is popcorn."-face again? He resists a sigh.

"Hate to say it, Laura… But the Colonel is right. There _are_ rules about that and I really hope you actually intended me to be the first one to hear about it. After you, of course, sir." Now Lorne looks kind of… smug while Laura… he can't even look her in the eye and he's her goddamn _CO_.

"There you go, Miss 'I'm pregnant, not ill!'. Your CO has spoken. _No_ more missions for you and certainly no fly…" Laura's throws her hands into the air.

"Alright, fine, I'll give you the missions," she says and if it's possible, Lorne looks even _smugger_ now. He begins to wonder if Lorne hasn't learned _anything_ about women in general and Laura in particular during the time they have all served together. He's pretty sure that Laura knew all along she'd never be allowed to continue serving on the team and that she never meant to fight for this seriously. "_But_ you stop this "No flying!"-business. Or you'll be reunited with your old friend the couch tonight." Ouch. _That_ was mean, even for Laura.

Lorne glares at her and Laura glares back but he doesn't take his eyes off the two, simply because he's afraid to move. Beside him, Linley has become stock still as well, probably wishing he was invisible now. Yeah, well, serves him right, he thinks but keeps it all to himself. Then… after a seeming eternity, Lorne grinds out, "Stubborn wench."

At that he already waits for another outburst but it never comes. Instead, Laura folds her arms in front of her chest and coolly replies, "Self-righteous dictator."

It's quiet for at least another second or two… well, until Linley interrupts in a voice that's half cheerful and half astonished, "You hear that, man? _That_ is real love."

Immediately, all heads turn to Linley and they have the rare pleasure to see him turn bright red in the face. "Uh… well… uh… you know… I've got this… uh… _thing_ I need to take care off and… well… um…" Without even waiting for his brain to find the appropriate words of excuse, Linley's up and running to… somewhere. He can't help but grin just a little bit while getting up himself.

"I think it's safe to say you won't mind me taking care of some paperwork as well, right, sir? Laura?" After another moment of being flabbergasted, both Laura and Lorne shake their heads and so he turns to go and finally leaves the two alone but Lorne clears his throat and that makes him turn around again.

"You know, Jim… you might want to try "Evan" next time we talk to each other." Wow. Even though Laura kept telling him that it was long overdue that Lorne and he stopped calling each other by their ranks, it's still surprising him now that the offer is actually on the table.

So all he can bring himself to is smile and say, "Yes, sir." With that, he finally turns around to leave the room, hearing a not so stern anymore "As for you, young lady…" from Lorne when he's half out of the door.

He half expects to hear Laura going off again but instead of a new shouting match all he gets is a moment of silence and then a very pronounced "Ah, screw it!"

Originally, he'd wanted to simply vanish but… at that he simply can't help turning around one last time. The sight that presents itself to him… is just a little bit of a shock for him, though, just because he never really saw them like this before.

In the room, Lorne and Laura have finally stopped arguing and have moved on to… the reconciliation. The rather… _pronounced_ reconciliation. As in passionately kissing reconciliation. He smirks to himself, wondering what Linley would say to that but ultimately deciding to keep this to himself as he exits the room. Laura and Lorne… they have been through enough trouble to deserve people _not_ talking about them, just for once. But maybe… phoning Janice would be nice now… just to hear her voice… and maybe tell her about why he has to go looking for _two_ replacements now. Yeah, he thinks smiling, she's gonna like _that_.


	78. 001 Beginnings

**A/N:** And so we are here with another piece. Another one-shot for which I had to do an astonishing amount of research (no telling because that would probably spoil the punchline ;)). Of course I had a _great_ research assistant in **mac** (in fact, she does almost _all_ of my research and I'm infinitely grateful for that), as well, so I hope we researched _right _;)

* * *

Prompt: 001 Beginnings

**Need not look no more**

"_The moment you walked__ inside my door  
I knew__ that I need not look no more  
I've seen many other sou__ls before – ah but,  
Heaven must'__ve programmed you  
The moment you fell inside my dreams."_

_Yusuf Islam, "Heaven – Where True Love Goes"_

She can't help it; she has to sneak him another look. She doesn't even know his name yet – didn't get close enough to read the name tag – but he already caught her attention. And because she doesn't want it to appear like she's ogling him, she pretends to be reading her instruction manual again. Officially it's called "Orientation Guide to the Pegasus Galaxy", but everyone started to refer to it as "The Most Useless Guide _Ever_" about two days after they started their journey on the _Daedalus_.

Unfortunately… the name fits. Lots of general blahblah, whole paragraphs that could be summed up with "We have no idea what we're talking about, but that won't stop us from forcing you to read this."… so far she hasn't encountered _one_ piece of useful information. Inside, she curses herself for her reading choice. She should have brought something _really_ interesting. At least that would have made it easier to keep herself from sneaking looks at the man sitting a few tables away, obviously engrossed in a stack of paper work.

It's been two weeks on the _Daedalus_ now and he keeps crossing her path, almost constantly. Granted, it's not _that_ hard to meet the same people over and over again here, since the amount of space to escape from each other is limited, as big as this ship might be. But… he always seems to pop up so unexpectedly. One moment she's walking through the corridors, talking to one of her fellow Marines, and there he is, walking past her from behind. Or she's standing in the food line, doing a little daydreaming and he enters the mess hall in the exact same moment that she accidentally looks at the entrance.

She knows he must belong to the military contingent because people keep saluting him, which she always does as well, of course, but she simply doesn't get to see his name tag and she doesn't want to look too closely, because that would seem really stupid. So she's sitting here in the mess hall, two tables away from him, sneaking him looks every so often, watching him do some reading himself.

They're almost alone and so she has a great and clear view of him sitting there, reading. Unfortunately she's too far away to get a look at those… intriguing grey-green eyes – yes, she is aware of the slightly disturbing fact that she knows the color of his eyes but feels like staring at his name tag for a moment or two is embarrassing – but she can still see the striking pair of shoulders – not too broad, but looking solid and like something you can lean on – his concentrated face, the very correct hair she'd _love_ to muss…

Damn, she's been doing it again. Ogling an officer she doesn't know and who's probably her superior… and who just stopped reading and is now… oh crap. He's looking straight at her, a hesitant little smile on his face and she feels kind of… paralyzed, at least for a moment. She's never been the recipient of a _smile_ from him before so she's actually a little bit shocked that it looks so _nice_ and so… He looks away again. Phew, is her first thought and the second thought involves a lot of swearing at herself for behaving like an _idiot_. The temperature of the skin on her face also tells her that she _looks_ like an idiot as well. Just. Fucking. Great.

Okay, so _usually_ she's not one for beating a hasty retreat – in fact, she's not one for retreats _at all_ – but they do teach you knowing when to fold your cards at Marine OCS so she takes care not to appear too eager to leave the room while she gets her stuff together. Pointedly _not_ looking at him, she gets up and prepares to walk past him, looking busy but not _too_ busy… "Lieutenant Cadman, isn't it?"

Argh. She stops in front of his table and turns around, hoping he won't smile again. "Yes, that's correct…"

"Major Evan Lorne." Oh _fuck_. She'd been making googly eyes at _the future 2IC_ of Atlantis for the last two weeks. This is _so_ not good. And that he gives her another smile doesn't make it any better either. "Anyway, hope you don't mind me asking but I just read your file…" He did _what_? Oh wait… reading her file is his _job_ so that was probably just a coincidence. "I saw you graduated from Stanford University before getting sent to OCS."

She's just _this_ close to saying "Yeah… _so_?" but can hold herself back because he sounded so nice saying it and because she's still a little woozy because of those dimples so she simply says, "Yes, sir, that's correct," and tries a smile of her own.

It must have looked a lot less like a total failure than she thought because his smile brightens. "Oh great. So how's Dr. Severing-Browntree?" What the…? For a moment, her mouth is hanging open a little and that just makes his smile turn into an amused grin. "Class of '95, Lieutenant. Go Cardinal."

Another moment she's not quite sure if she just stepped into an alternate reality but then she gets a little bit of her groove back and gives him a smirk. "Old Sevvie's doing just fine, I think. Last thing I heard was that he simply refused to give up his office to his designated successor."

That makes the Major laugh a little and she finds herself wishing he'd reply something to keep the conversation going… "Really? Do me a favor and tell me all the juicy details, Lieutenant?"

Whoa, jackpot. She can't quite believe her luck – at least she hopes it's _luck_ to be invited by your CO to sit around in the mess hall and talk about college teachers – but she's got enough grip on herself again to be more like her usual confident self so she sits down, ignoring the butterflies in her stomach every time he looks at her with that smile of his. Otherwise she'd be certainly doomed and starting an assignment like Atlantis doomed? _Not_ a good thing. She grins, "Sure, sir. Way I heard it, it went like this…"


	79. 074 Dark

**A/N: **Huh. So I almost forgot there was a third part to the "Senses" prompt story and "Light"... which would be this story. I probably suggest you go back and read them again because it _has_ been a while since I posted them. And thanks to **mac** for pointing out why the original version of this would never have worked and making me rewrite it. It was necessary.

* * *

Prompt: 074 Dark

**Easy touch**

"_I want a man with a slow hand  
I want a lover with an easy touch  
I want somebody who will spend some time  
Not come and go in a heated rush  
I want somebody who will understand  
When it comes to love, I want a slow hand."_

_Pointer Sisters, "Slow Hand"_

"Right, so… night, Laura."

"Yeah, night… Evan." She still can't bring herself to call him by his first name easily but she'll learn it eventually, if they go on like they have these few last weeks, since her discharge from the infirmary and that first night on the pier. He never asked what made her stay up late into the night. Instead he just sat there with her, holding her hand, talking to her… three nights in a row. On the fourth… somehow they ended up kissing but it never went any further than that.

He rubs his neck looking a little awkward… like he wants to say – or do – something else but in the end he gives her one of these small insecure smiles he never shows when he's on duty – well, basically, never when they are anywhere else than on their pier at night – raises his hand then leaves, walking down the corridor.

A little… frustrated because he didn't even give her a good night kiss, she closes the door and hugs herself. Since he kissed her the first time there'd been secret glances, a few more stolen kisses, talking… But nothing more. She has the feeling that he's waiting… but waiting for what? For the right time, for the right place, for her to be ready?

She _is_ ready, she wants to tell him but deep down she has her doubts about that… and maybe he can somehow sense that. It's not that she isn't sure of what she's feeling… it's just that the explosion that set all of this in motion left her with more than just a few unpleasant mental images. She knows it's stupid but she's afraid that when he sees what the explosion left behind… he won't want her anymore.

Sighing, she takes a look at her bed and… it doesn't really look as appealing as it did before that mission where the C4 and the ore went off a little too close for comfort. Or maybe… maybe it's not the bed that doesn't look as appealing anymore but the prospect of having to go through another sleepless night… in the dark.

It's _embarrassing_, she knows, but ever since waking up being blind… darkness almost terrifies her. It got a little better after she started talking with Evan on the pier but not really much. She's still thankful for it, even though she has the distinct feeling that he's worried for her which is why he kept seeking her out after their first night together. She knows that he knows that she has trouble sleeping and she wants him to stop worrying.

Resisting another sigh, she forces herself to move away from the door, to get ready for bed… but before she can get very far, her door opens again. Startled, she turns around and… what the hell is Evan doing here again? She wants to ask but he beats her to it, taking a step towards her and taking a deep breath. "Look, you and I both know you won't get much sleep tonight… like every night since they let you out of the infirmary." Automatically, she wants to deny everything but instead of answering, he simply walks over to her bed and too confused to say anything, she follows him.

"Evan, what…" He racks his hair, even looking a little desperate… and then he reaches out for her, tentatively stroking her cheek. The slight touch feels so good… she can't help but lean into it.

"I honestly don't know what to do anymore… I only know I have to do _something_. I just… want you to be alright, you know." She'd been right. He's been worried sick about her and instantaneously she wants to tell him that everything is fine… or will be fine but he doesn't wait for her to say anything but… goes straight for her mouth, kissing her… _not_ tentatively, like he used to.

There's a lot of pent up frustration and desire in that kiss he can barely contain and… is he here to…? Ah, hell, she thinks and sneaks her arms around him, wanting to deepen the kiss… but he doesn't let her. Instead he breaks it and bends down to whisper in her ear, "If you want me to stop, Laura… just say so." What a _stupid_ suggestion. Why should she want him to _stop_? "But if you _don't_ want me to stop… close your eyes and keep them closed, whatever is going to happen."

Not quite understanding what that is about – because she doesn't want to close her eyes… in fact that's her whole problem, doesn't he see that? – she wants to ask him but he just kisses the spot behind her ear and that silences her quite effectively. "Remember, keep them closed." Oh God, if he keeps on doing that whispering thing she'll be a puddle of goo even before they get down on her bed.

But damn, she wants to open her eyes, take his shirt off and see the moonlight play over the body she has never seen uncovered before, but he seems to have anticipated this because he guides her down to the bed gently but determinedly. Then he lets go of her again for a moment. The rustling of fabric she hears makes her hope he's taking off his shirt… and it's confirmed when she feels him leaning down over her again and her fingers get to feel his bare skin.

Again she's tempted to open her eyes but immediately, she feels his lips feather light on her closed lids. At the same time his hands have moved to relieve her of the t-shirt and with a start she realizes that if he really gets it off her he'll see that her injuries might have healed… but not without leaving traces behind. She wants to keep him from pulling off the shirt but her hands aren't really obeying her and neither is her tongue. Instead, the hands have moved to act as substitutes for her eyes in terms of getting to know his body and her tongue is kept busy by his.

Not fair, she thinks in a corner of her mind. He gets to see her – _all_ of her, unfortunately – but she has to be content with clumsily fumbling around? Anyway, he has successfully distracted her from protesting against the removing of her shirt and she can feel his lips on her skin again… as well as smell his clean, warm scent with the undertones of weapon oil she has become so accustomed to… and she can also catch a taste of his skin when she dares to take a little action herself and grazes what feels like the corner of his neck with her mouth. She can't hold back and even opens her mouth to bite him, very lightly and gently. It's still enough to make him stop for a short moment and she's sure she hears a slight grin in his voice when he says, "Want me to stop?"

Everything inside of her screams "No!" but she's just too preoccupied to do anything more than shake her head. "Thought so." If he keeps on using this low, kind of velvety voice and doing that drawing out the vowels thing all evening, she _really_ is gonna be a puddle of goo before he gets past her collar bones. "And remember to keep your eyes closed." She can't help sighing deeply… because in addition to the voice that vibrates right in her ear, his scent has changed very slightly… just a little more tangy… like the clean soap smell is slowly giving way to _his_ scent. Automatically, she draws him closer to her, in an attempt to get more of that scent… more of _him_.

It slowly dawns on her that she doesn't need her eyes to "see" his body. So as hard as it still is – with her issues about being in the dark and everything – she manages to keep her eyes closed and use her other senses. First thing she does on _purpose_ to try out that new way of seeing is to feel around with her right hand and bury it in the hair she'd wanted to run it through ever since realizing who it was that sat beside her. The grin she feels against her shoulder's skin tells her he isn't averse to her taking a little more active part.

And she honestly would if… his fingers weren't playing over areas of her skin that didn't get out of the explosion unscathed. She really wishes he wouldn't do that. As hard as it is to admit it, she is actually embarrassed about them. They aren't really _ugly_, but… not exactly pretty either. The thought of him seeing and feeling that… "Evan…"

Instead of answering her with words, he just takes her hand and puts it to his side… she can feel a strange structure there… it's a _scar_… pretty big from what she can feel. She wonders what the story behind it is and her hand keeps lingering a tad longer there while the other one starts flitting over his chest and abdomen, making him gasp and retaliate by moving his attention further south. From there on thoughts about burned tissue, blindness, outward appearances… seem to become less and less important with every minute.

She even starts to be glad he insisted on her keeping her eyes closed. It makes this all the more special, seeing as this is their first time and she gets so much _more_ of him. There's also a permanent element of surprise, keeping her on the edge, urging her forward, making her finally take over because she just feels like _bursting_ from the sensory overload… until both of them can't hold it anymore and meet a mutual release.

When it happens… it actually keeps both of them speechless for a little while. She feels him sliding down on the bed beside her and because she wants to keep on feeling him close to her she turns to face him and snuggles up against him, entwining her legs with his, breathing in his scent, listening to his heart beat. She feels his arm winding around her and hug her even closer. "You know… I really think you can open your eyes again."

Is that an amused smile in his voice? "Oh, maybe I don't _want_ to open them." At that, his chest rises and falls with something that feels and sounds like a breath of relief and she feels a light kiss on her hair.

"Alright… good enough for me." That's all he says, or at least all she registers before drifting off to the place she has been afraid of for so long now, finally tired and calmed down enough not to be terrified of it anymore.


	80. 019 White

**A/N:** This story... is probably the hardest Fanfic100 piece I wrote yet, mainly because it's just too close to home in a way (and yes, I leave you now to speculate what exactly home _is _in this case ;)). It's defintely _not _a happy story, at least for Lorne/Cadman shippers. It also was **mac**'s (brilliant, I might add) idea to challenge me with writing a story where... oh, you'll see what I mean and she really made me push my limits and confront some issues with it (see, that's why I love my beta: She strives very hard to make me give my best with each and every story. And everything else I'll probably better keep for the A/N to the last story ;)).

Oh, oh, oh, also: Am now in the one-digit area again (i.e. I have exactly 9 (NINE) story left to write and then I'm done with writing Fanfic100)! Yay!

* * *

Prompt: 019 White

**The closest thing**

"_You're the closest thing I have  
To bring up in a conversation  
About a love that didn't last  
But I could never call you mine  
Cause I could never call myself yours  
And if we were really meant to be  
Well, then we justified destiny  
It's not that our love died  
It just never really bloomed."_

_Landon Pigg, "Can't let go"_

She has no idea why she's here and what she's doing here. Or at least she likes to pretend that it's like that. If she's honest she liked to pretend a lot of things in the last few weeks… months. In reality, though, she knows exactly why she's here. He invited her. No… _they_ invited her. It's as simple as that. As simple yet complicated as that, more like.

Her hands are sitting atop her knees, wound tightly together and she forces herself to relax, unwind them; she also forces the tension to leave her neck and shoulders, concentrates on willfully making all her muscles relax. It's a joyful occasion, this wedding, and she should be celebrating it as everybody else celebrates it, maybe even more so.

She knows that and it's what makes her somehow feel ashamed of herself. Both Evan Lorne and Kate Heightmeyer are her _friends_ and there's no reason for her to be all wound up, toes waving up and down in nervous little moves while she's sitting in her pew beside Carson, waiting for the bride to walk down the aisle on the arm of her father.

Except… except that there is. A year ago… she'd been so _close_ to be the one to walk down the aisle at the arm of _her_ father, towards the man who's now standing at the altar, trying to look like his usual stoic self. And maybe everyone else accepts this ruse but she knows him better. She sees all the little signs that Evan's nervous as hell.

When he smiles at one of Colonel Sheppard's good natured jibes, there's a tightness around his eyes that betrays his inner tension. He also can't help glancing at the church's entrance every other moment, as if he's still afraid that Kate will have second thoughts and leave him standing at the altar. There are also a few tensed looks he shot _her_ and she did her best to be encouraging and calming. She is, after all, still one of his best friends, even if they didn't work out as a couple in the end.

So _why_ can't she put out this tiny little spark of hope that Kate _will_ leave him standing at the altar? Because, a treacherous little voice whispers, you never really got over him. She hates this voice that makes her feel weak and idiotic and pushes her towards regret that will inevitably lead to heartache – _renewed_ heartache – and probably very stupid decisions like getting ready to jump up the moment that priest asks the obligatory question of anyone having reason why this couple shouldn't be wed.

All by themselves, her fingers have wound up again and she feels a headache develop because of the tight muscles in her neck and shoulders. Or at least she _thinks_ that's what's causing the headache.

She simply refuses to attribute it to tears of regret, anger and a broken heart that have to go unshed because of a million reasons, the first and foremost of them the fact that she never… she never fought for their love, for _him_. Instead she agreed with him that they should quit it because they were both at a point in their career they couldn't risk a false step or it would all go down the drain and that they worked better as friends anyway.

But back then… it had seemed to make sense, for some long forgotten reason. They'd been arguing even because of small things and at the same time it had made her insane every time she waited for him to come back from a difficult mission or saw him fighting for his life in the infirmary and couldn't be as close to him as she wanted to or at least talk to someone about it because it had all to be secret. The tension of the day to day secrecy had made her thin-skinned and that had led to the arguments and the fighting… and in the end to agreeing with him that it all didn't make any sense and they were better off as friends and fellow officers.

Stupid. Stupid, stupid, _stupid_. Why the _hell_ didn't she fight, like she had always fought for everything she wanted? She had fought for the Marine Corps, she had fought for her commission, she had fought for her Atlantis posting. She just never… fought for him. And then, when she had still tried to make herself believe that it was good being Evan's friend – so much better than being his lover, in fact – Kate had happened.

She still doesn't know when exactly Evan and Kate had become more than friends and co-workers, mainly because she never asked and Evan never told her – probably sensing earlier than herself that in reality she didn't really want to know anyway – but she really did her best to be happy for them when they announced to her that they were engaged. She also still hopes Kate never realized that her grumbling while she helped her prepare the wedding had nothing to do with weddings being "girl stuff", like she told her…

Suddenly the wedding march sounds and Kate and her father step into the church and Evan turns around and is obviously mesmerized by the radiant beauty of his bride. And yes, she looks so lovely in that white dress, with the veil over her eyes and her blond curls piled up in an intricate style, a few of them framing her face that beams with happiness and joy… and deep down in the pit of her stomach, a lump forms that seems to be made of all the tears she swallowed down since she broke up with Evan and the words she never said to him and the chances she let go by.

When Kate passes her, she's very, very close to jumping up and running out of the church to find a bathroom to throw up but suddenly she feels a warm, firm hand on top of hers. She turns to Carson who'd been sitting beside her the whole time, seemingly unaware of what was going through the head of the woman beside him. For a moment, they look at each other and then he says, low enough the only she can hear it, "Don't waste your time with regret, love. It'll only make you bitter."

She swallows and doesn't really know what to say – maybe for the first time ever in her life. Carson… Carson of all people telling her not to sink into regret and bitterness over a lost lover… well, maybe she should take him by his word. _He_ sure knows what he's talking about. Without a word she nods and tries a little smile, telling him she understood… and all through the service, his hand stays on hers, even when her fingers have long let go of the tension born of disappointment, grief and anger and have turned to loosely entwine themselves with his.


	81. 022 Enemies

**A/N: **Okay, so now that I gave you something pretty depressing... on to something a little different again. It's the first part of a little trilogy (that was supposed to be a two-parter, but oh well... bunnies, you know) and could only be written because **mac** had the right idea at the right time. Once she changed a little detail in the original idea it was really pretty easy to write. Thanks for being in my head so often, mac :D

* * *

Prompt: 022 Enemies

**Same old story**

"_How can I try to explain, when I do he turns away again.  
It's always been the same, same old story.  
From the moment I could talk I was ordered to listen.  
Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away.  
I know I have to go."_

_Cat Stevens, "Father and Son"_

"James, look at them," Mary nudges him but he just ignores her. "Really, you have to see them. Your grandson is such a cute little boy and Evan and Laura really look…"

"No." Now he has turned around again because dammit, she shouldn't have said that name. Those _names_. As his wife she should have known that those names are forbidden in their home, ever since… Ever since. He doesn't even want to _think_ about it, even though it's been two years. The look on Mary's face cuts a little into his heart – all shocked and even a little bit frightened – but two years ago he made a decision and he will stand by it. That's what they taught him in the Air Force: You make a decision, you stand by it. And so he glares at her a little even though he doesn't want to and adds, "Stop it. I will not look at them and I will _not_ tolerate any further talk about them in my house. Do I make myself clear?"

Mary looks at him, at first a little frightened still but then she finds her voice again and he remembers there was a reason she never had any issues with undisciplined classes in all her years as a teacher, no matter where she taught. "Yes. Yes, you made it very clear that you're an idiot. And you know what? I'm fed up with this. Evan managed to get over his pride a year ago and I can't even begin to describe how immature it makes you look that you still insist on pretending you don't have a son. Either you stop this now or you might find yourself without a _wife_ all of a sudden."

That's just… she wouldn't _dare_. She wouldn't… would she? A moment of insecurity almost lets his façade crack but he hasn't been an officer in the United States Air Force for over 30 years for nothing. He puts away the newspaper and stands up. "Don't you dare threaten me with a divorce, Mary. That boy that used to be my son _knew_ what he was in for if he decided to marry that… that…" He's about to say something really, really filthy but for some reason it only takes a narrowing of her eyes from his wife to make him abstain from it, "grunt. That he came crawling back a year ago because of… whatever was _ridiculous_. I just bet that all he wanted was…"

"That's _enough_, James. He married Laura because he _loved_ her." She's on her feet now as well, doing her best at staring him down. Scarily enough… it still works, even though he'd never admit it. "Remember what that is? How it feels? And he came back because he _missed __us_. Even _you_, you stupid brick-headed ass of a father. God, I can't believe… James, you were always proud of him when he stood up for himself and for others. Why not this time?" What the hell? Didn't she get it after two years?

Everything he taught his son, everything he did for him, everything he had hoped for him… went out of the window the day his son decided to marry Laura Cadman. One of his _subordinates_, for Heaven's sake. They had gotten around a fraternization charge but only because their CO, a certain Colonel Sheppard he had never heard of before, had put in a good word or two in the right places – or at least that's how he had heard it – and they had agreed to leave their posting as soon as things had gotten serious. All of that – how it happened, how his son hadn't talked to him, how they had hushed things up – had disgusted him enough that he'd denounced Evan to be his son. Ever since then, Evan could have been dead as far as he was concerned. Deep inside… it had hurt like hell but what his son had done… had gone so far against the rules and regulations that had always guided his life that he simply hadn't been able to deal with it in another way.

And so he can't hold back anymore at his ignorant wife. "Dammit, Mary! He threw away his career. He was a well respected officer at a top-secret base with all the chances in the world to make it straight to the top… and he gave it all up so he could marry _her_. And look at him now. He's… he…"

Mary just raises an eyebrow at his faltering because in truth… he has _no_ idea what his son is doing now. He doesn't even know if Evan is still in the Air Force and he'd love to tell himself convincingly that he doesn't care about that anyway but… yes, the temptation to call up an old buddy in Personnel is always there. His wife, however, uses this moment of weakness to cut in, "He's a well-respected officer at a base he can talk about with us with all the chances in the world to make it straight to the top, married to a woman who had to give up as much as he did to be with him and a very happy father to a beautiful little baby boy."

Said like that… it doesn't sound so bad. And the fact that his boy is still an officer in the Air Force… he can pretend all he wants that it means nothing to him but in truth… his heart swells with pride and relief. But he didn't get as far as he did in his day by being easily swayed so he finds himself saying, "I don't care how much she had to give up." Which sounds stupid and passive-aggressive and isn't even true. The fact that this Laura risked a court martial to marry his son and took it upon herself to relocate back to the US for that would have told him how much she must love Evan, if he'd been thinking rationally.

Mary however… she doesn't take it lightly. In fact… he can see the thunder clouds forming up now. "No, because you're the world's biggest idiot and a chauvinist as well. I can't believe what a blockhead you turned into, just because your boy acted like we raised him to."

"_I_ didn't raise him to…" Dammit, that was just a reflex but it's too late to take it back now, because Mary… she's finished with him. He can see it in the way she shakes her head and in the way her face falls. Suddenly… suddenly he realizes that she _meant_ it when she threatened him with divorce and he begins to see that the last two years… were harder on her that she ever let on. Not hearing anything from her son for over a year, bearing with his stoic and bitter refusal of anything having to do with Evan… it cost her more than he let himself see and he… starts to feel sorry for it.

"You know what? I don't want to hear it. Like I said, I'm fed up with this crap. Either you make up with your son ASAP or you'll have to go looking for a divorce lawyer pretty soon. Do _I_ make myself clear?" He swallows, shocked that it might be too late for an apology now.

Tentatively he tries to answer, "I…"

She cuts him short, though, and says, "That's what I thought. Make a choice, James, and be sure that it's the right one this time." With that… she's gone, leaving him standing in the middle of the living room, alone.

Well, not quite alone, as a look at coffee table tells him. There a few pictures are scattered around. He has some difficulties recognizing more than a few blurry faces because his eyes haven't exactly become better over the last few years but he has some idea what could be on them. His first impulse is to sweep them up and put them away as far as possible but… then he remembers what Mary said about Evan being a happy father and what she said about the jarhead having had to give up as much as his son… and reluctantly… he picks them up to have a closer look at them.


	82. 023 Lovers

**A/N:** Sequel to "Enemies", second part in this trilogy. And the story where I realized that conflicts with fathers take a great precedence over conflicts with mothers in my stories. Mh... personal preference? Result of years of socialization in science-fiction fandoms where father/son conflicts are practically omnipresent while conflicts with mothers are practically non-existent? I think I'll have to ponder this a little more. Anyway, here's the story... that gave **mac** a few interesting thoughts ;)

* * *

Prompt: 023 Lovers

**Every generation has its way**

"_N'oubliez jamais  
I heard my father say  
Every generation has its way  
A need to disobey_

_N'oubliez jamais  
It's in your destiny  
A need to disagree  
When rules get in the way  
N'oubliez jamais."_

_Joe Cocker, "N'oubliez jamais"_

He watches her. Well, her and the little boy named Aaron James Lorne. They arrived three days ago and at first he hadn't even wanted to look at his grandson… and the moment he did look he knew why. He'd simply been afraid he might actually like the kid… and he did. The moment he saw Aaron the first time he'd known Mary had been right about every single thing. He _had_ been an idiot and Aaron _was_ a beautiful little boy – even if he had to admit that the only things he seemed to have inherited from the Lorne side had been his hair and his smile – and… he had been an idiot.

Of course he didn't say any of this out loud but he has the uncanny feeling that Mary had guessed it anyway. Ever since the moment Evan and his wife had crossed the threshold she had been incredibly smug. Not too much but just enough for him to detect it and be unnerved by it. So… yeah, her little speech had made him pick up the pictures and take a good look at his son for the first time in two years.

To be honest… it had surprised him. How little his son had changed, that is. Well… how little and how much, more like. Of course Evan had still looked like Evan, every inch a Lorne but there had been… he still doesn't want to call it a glow because that just sounds cliché and tacky and corny and none of these are descriptions fitting a member of the Lorne family. But yeah, Evan had looked… different. Relaxed and happy... much more than he used to look for as long as he can remember it.

Evan had always been a true Lorne; focused, sensible, rational. Hannah, Evan's sister, had been a lot more outgoing and spontaneous, following Mary's footsteps in a career in arts, though not as a teacher. But Evan… Evan had known what had been expected from him since his early childhood and had dutifully worked hard to get into the Air Force Academy and become a top-notch officer. Never taking a wrong step – or at least no wrong steps big enough his father would be told about – and being the best at everything he tried… and then he just had to go and throw it all away.

Frowning he focuses again on Evan's wife and son and… it's becoming harder with every moment to keep up the disappointment and bitterness that had kept him from talking to Evan for two years. Oh well. If he's honest… the moment Evan and Laura had stepped into his house and the first thing Laura had done was place little Aaron in his arms without batting an eye had made him feel very much like an idiot for telling himself for so long that his son had made an irrevocable mistake.

Inexplicably he'd adored the little boy from the first moment he saw him… and the tentative grudging respect he had had felt himself developing for Laura Cadman-Lorne the moment he had finally allowed himself to be just a _tad_ more rational about everything had grown a considerable notch.

She'd just breezed in, hugged his wife – as if they'd known each other for years, actually – and he'd stood on the sidelines, feeling out of place… until she'd gone and given him an irresistible grin and handed him Aaron. At first he'd wanted to give her an earful for that kind of insolence – she's still a Captain of the USMC, after all, and he's senior to her in rank and age – but then he had caught his son looking first at her and then at him and it had dawned on him what Mary had meant when she had told him that Evan had married Laura because he loved her.

It had also dawned on him that _Laura_ had married Evan because _she_ loved him as well. He doesn't even know what made him see that but… "And to think you could have missed all of this."

Not really succeeding in avoiding jumping at the voice suddenly coming from his right, he decides not to look at his son. He's pretty sure he'd see smug satisfaction there that Evan obviously discovered a way to crack his father famous stoic façade and he doesn't want to deal with that now. "I had my reasons."

"I know, dad." After that, Evan doesn't say anything for quite a while and so they now both watch Laura and Aaron for a while. She sits in a deck chair overlooking the Bay with her son leaning his head on her shoulder, facing away from them. Once in a while, she turns her head to the side and softly kisses Aaron or gently rubs his back. It's a very peaceful picture and it reminds him of Mary's and his first weeks with Evan. He's about to finally turn his head to watch at his son watching his wife but then he hears Evan taking a deep breath and somehow that keeps him from facing him. "But just because they were _your_ reasons, it didn't make them right."

Well. That was to be expected. Until now Evan had held back, been civil, even friendly and nice. But even Evan can't hold back with things that occupy him for ever. He should have known that their two-year silence and his part in it would re-surface sooner or later and they would have to talk about it. It was just… he never thought that his son would use _this_ moment to break the topic. And to be honest, the tone does bother him. Of course at first glance it was matter-of-fact, calm, composed… but he knows his son long enough to hear the undertones of mostly disappointment but also a little bitterness.

Even though he knew the two years must have left behind a rift between them a few days of vacation can't close, these undertones – especially the bitterness – catch him off-guard enough that he finally turns his head to look at Evan. He finds his son still looking into Laura's and Aaron's direction but on his face there's a frown that somehow tells him that at the moment Evan isn't really seeing them. It shouldn't be like this, he realizes. Evan shouldn't be here arguing with him when his own little family is sitting over there, looking like nothing in the world could disturb their peace. He takes a deep breath. "Look, son…"

"Wanna know why I called a year ago, dad?" Evan suddenly interrupts him and now he _is_ looking at him. His first impulse is to admonish him for interrupting his father… and a higher-ranking officer but then he reminds himself that this is neither the place nor the time to let this escalate again.

So instead of barking a reprimand at his son he takes another deep breath and says, "Sure," trying to sound as casual as possible.

Evan runs a hand through his hair and shortly looks back at Laura and now he _does_ see her. He can judge that from the momentary softening of Evan's face when his eyes find Laura before turning back to face him. "Laura's father died. In a car accident. It… made me realize a few things." Another look at Laura from Evan and he has the feeling that for a short moment, in his mind Evan is back at that point a year ago, probably for the first time realizing what "for better or worse" really means in a marriage.

But then a grin passes over Evan's face and his son looks back at him again. "Well, that and Laura. She can be pretty… convincing when she wants to." The little smirk Evan gives him tells him clearly _how_ convincing Laura can be and that… surprises him a little. Of course he had also been the recipient of Laura's forwardness and… brashness but the way Evan said it and the smirk that followed… somehow it says there's a lot more to Laura than just a little cheekiness. It actually gets him interested.

He raises his eyebrow. "Really?"

Evan grimaces. "Really. Let's just say that… one of her best lines was, quote, 'I swear if you don't call your goddamn father right now it's gonna cost you so much more than just a night on the couch.' You should have seen her face when she said that." They look at each other and find themselves starting to chuckle at the same time.

The sound makes Laura turn to them, a little frown on her face. She opens her mouth to say something but he catches Evan giving her reassuring look and a little smile and with a little rolling of her eyes she turns back to looking out at the Bay and concentrating on Aaron. For a moment… he feels strangely like he is intruding into something very private. He feels himself compelled to break the momentary silence by smirking and saying, "So you called us because a little Marine threatened to throw you out of your bedroom?"

At first Evan returns his grin but then he becomes serious again. He shakes his head. "No, I called because she was right. Dad… I had reasons for not talking to you as well. But just because they were _my_ reasons it didn't make them right either."

He's at a momentary loss for words because this… is basically Evan saying sorry. And _that_ means things are threatening to get emotional and all those things he never was very good with. Thankfully enough Evan doesn't say more than this and he realizes that now is probably _his_ turn to say sorry. However… there's still something he would like to know. After taking another second to consider how to phrase it, he simply says, "Is she worth it?"

Instead of an outright answer – which he already knows anyway, having seen Evan and Laura together, also in moments where they thought no one was watching – Evan only replies, "What do _you_ think?"

Right. That's _not_ what he expected. But then again Evan had been improving on being not quite as predictable as he used to be ever since he mentioned Laura for the first time. Maybe… maybe now it's time to be a little surprising himself. "Well… she's pretty decent. For a Marine, I mean." And that is as close as he'll ever come to saying sorry. He knows that Evan and Laura deserve more than that but sometimes… you really can't teach an old dog new tricks.

Evan… Evan did get it; after a moment of not quite catching the implied meaning of this casual sentence. The smile on his face… clearly shows that and when he says, "Glad to hear it, dad," he thinks he can hear that Evan is glad about more than that he doesn't find Laura to be a failure. For some reason… he suddenly feels like a big weight falls off his shoulders. Evan must have felt it, too, since he takes a deep breath, as if this is the first time in years he can breathe freely.

However… Lorne men were never known for talking too much about their feeling or anything close to that so it doesn't irritate him when Evan looks over to Laura and Aaron and looks very much like he'd love to walk over to them. But before he finally turns to go, he adds, "Come on, dad, join us."

It's a genuine invitation, maybe even a subtle plea, he can see that much, but right now… he doesn't really feel like company, not even that of his son or his wife or the grandson he adores so very much. Hoping his son will understand, he replies, "No, I'm fine with watching, thanks."

"Oh fine, be that way," his son says but the smile that accompanies it takes the sting out of those words. Then Evan turns to go and walks over to the deck chair where Laura still sits holding Aaron against her shoulder, now smiling and talking to the little boy. When Evan joins them, he bends down to give Laura a kiss and she turns around to meet him halfway, he realizes that he is indeed absolutely fine with watching; watching his son being with his family – and happy.


	83. 029 Birth

**A/N:** And now I present to you in the popular series "Pairings that would never _ever _happen on screen or even in fanfiction" Rodney McKay and... ah no, that would be telling. And may I say that it's kinda **mac's** fault (okay, and mine because we decided together I'd write the most unlikely pairing ever)? But then again, I'm maybe the first one ever to write _those _two in a story. Curious? Well then, read on ;) Also, don't worry, I'll conclude the trilogy I started, mac just needs to beta part three (or do I need to edit it?). You'll get the last part as well, I promise.

* * *

Prompt: 029 Birth

**I hate you**

"_I bet you think I'm kidding  
But I promise you it's true  
I hate most everybody  
But most of all I hate  
Oh, I hate you__."_

_Get Set Go, "I Hate Everyone"_

"Out!" she hollers at him and he raises his hands in defeat.

"Hey, I just wanted to…" Several pairs of eyes glare at him and those of his wife are the most threatening.

"Rodney… _out_!" And now that Jennifer _also_ started behaving like an ogre he starts backing out walking slowly backwards… and in the end breaking into a run for the last few feet. His escape is accompanied by Dusty alternately swearing under her breath – much more than he has _ever_ heard her swearing before and that's saying a lot, what with his wife being a soldier and all that – and groaning. He's pretty sure she'd _love_ to scream but that stupid strange woman warrior code forbids her.

Anyway, when he stumbles into the infirmary again, he's not _that_ dismayed about just having been thrown out of the maternity ward because if he's honest… being present when Teyla had had Torren had been more than enough to fill his life share of birthing experiences. Which was probably already filled with his _own_ birth.

But still… he _had_ wanted to be daring, make a stand, show his wife he could be brave, too… and now he has to wait outside, being reduced to bystander to a process he finds frightening, because there's so much science involved that he never really _considered_ science and because it's about his wife's life and… "Oh look, it's our father in the making, Rodney McKay."

Just. Fucking. Great. Major Dudley-Do-Right and Captain Red Sonja. Just the people he needs right now. Or, well, _not_. He turns to them and gives them his patented "See if I care"-look because it always works on all the junior scientists. "Don't you have something to blow up or shoot at?"

Unfortunately… neither Lorne nor Cadman are junior scientists and he should have remembered that because it would have spared him their smirks and grins. "No, unfortunately not," Cadman says and throws a pointed look at Lorne who's sitting on a gurney, with his arm in a sling and not exactly looking happy. "Thanks to my boss here, I won't get to blow up anything. At least for today."

Lorne throws her a dark look and mutters, "And if you continue that, _Captain_, you won't get to blow up _anything_ in the next few _months_." Oh goody, just for _once_ they are obviously set on making each others' lives miserable instead of his. Seriously, whatever gave John the idea that putting his two greatest nemeses on the same team was a _good_ thing?

Cadman, however, simply rolls her eyes and replies, "I _told_ you it was completely harmless, you know." Mh. This promises to become interesting. As far as he knows, Lorne's team was scheduled for a mission to a really safe planet – that is safe even by non-SGC standards – so it is a little surprising to see him sitting here in the infirmary.

"Got attacked by a cute fluffy bunny, Major?" From behind him comes something that could be considered a scream but if it _was_ one it definitely had to be someone else than his wife because she's a Marine and they don't scream in pain. _Ever_. Having reassured himself that everything is going well despite the queasy feeling deep down in his gut, he concentrates on the Major again, to fully savor the contrite and faintly embarrassed expression on his face.

"It wasn't a _bunny_." Beside the Major, Cadman seems to have difficulties with keeping a straight face. Judging from what he learned about her during The Mind Meld That Shall Never Be Mentioned Again the only thing keeping her from outright laughing is her strict military training and even that only provides a very thin thread to cling to.

Then she seems unable to contain it anymore and says, grinning, "It was more like a squirrel, really… well, kind of. Pegasus version of it or something. And it was pretty big, actually." Major Lorne starts to look like he's considering doing something very painful to his second in command and that immensely satisfies him.

"Just wait until I get out of here, Cadman." He throws her another dark look but the only thing she does is answering by raising of her eyebrow.

"You do remember that you usually need _me_ to get out of here under the staff's noses, right?" Major Lorne is about to answer something and he starts to wonder if there's maybe some equivalent of popcorn lying around here somewhere but Cadman adds in his direction, "So… how's Dusty doing?"

Dusty? She asks about _Dusty_? Who's getting all the medical attention she needs and people holding her hands – or who would hold her hands if she didn't threaten everyone who came near her to do any comforting to blast their asses from here to next year – and could have all the sedatives she wants? So typical. "Fine, thanks. And _I_ am doing fine as well. Thanks for asking."

She exchanges a look with Lorne and they both roll their eyes. Just great. It only took them one minute to get back to harassing _him_. "Geez, Rodney, relax. I was just trying to be nice."

"Yeah, and be grateful for it. She didn't find _me_ worthy of being nice to since we came back from M7O-647." Whatever happened on that planet… it did nothing to amuse Major Lorne but a _lot_ to amuse Cadman.

Maybe… he can steer the conversation back to the initial topic? "As far as I remember… Cadman completely lacks the ability to be nice to _any_one." There. That should have served for some… bonding with the Major.

And yes, Cadman wants to say something, with that typical "I'm _not_ amused."-look on her face but Lorne beats her to it, "Hey, careful, McKay. She's still a member of _my_ team." What, that wasn't enough to get Lorne on his side? And whatever was _that_ supposed to mean? He just throws Lorne a look saying "Yeah, so?"

Instead of Lorne, though, Cadman answers with a kind of smug face, "That means, only he's allowed to insult me." Why… didn't he ever notice before their enormously irritating habit of speaking for each other? Or well… maybe he would have realized long ago if he'd listened to Dusty telling him her amused observations concerning Major Lorne and Captain Cadman. However… whenever she did… he was just a bit distracted by… other things and he could have cared really less about anyone else than _her_. Oh well.

"Anyway… aren't you at least a little bit excited about becoming a father, Rodney? I mean, in probably less than a day there will be a mini-you," Cadman tries to turn tables on _him_ again and adds with a frown, "Come to think of it… now _there_'s a scary thought." Yeah, of course, that was to be expected. Just for a _tiny_ moment he'd dared to assume Cadman _is_ interested in his misery but it's just not in her. He of all people should have known that.

"Affirmative, Captain. Kid with the Doc's and Sergeant Mehra-McKay's DNA… Whoa," Lorne now adds his two cents and even does a little shudder. Then… Lorne and Cadman actually _high-five_ each other, grinning like the trigger-happy demolition-crazy troopers they are. He really doesn't have to deal with them any longer.

"I wouldn't have asked either of you to do babysitting duty anyway. I shudder to think of the havoc you might wreck on a careful education." Of course he conveniently forgets about the fact that his wife is an experienced sniper and hard-nosed soldier, not _that_ different from Cadman after all. And that's irrelevant anyway, because even though she doesn't show it to anyone outside their marriage _Dusty_ can be also very caring and tolerant. Well, in her own way. Cadman, though… Cadman is disaster on two legs and like hell he'll ever let _her_ into the vicinity of his child.

The Marine in question isn't very appalled by what he just said but just shrugs and says, "That's fine with me. I do bombs, not babies, anyway." Right. He should have known she'd say that. And dammit, what the hell takes so long about having a kid? _Teyla_ was fast… so why can't Dusty be?

Major Lorne of course doesn't notice any of his distress, either and grins at Cadman. "Yeah, but think about what you could teach the little one. I'm sure the Sergeant would approve" – _no_, she wouldn't – "And Rodney here… I mean, it's not like you don't know a few science tricks of your own, Captain." Yes, exactly, it's just tricks. There's _no_ way Cadman comes close to _his_ genius.

He wants to say so but obviously they are trying to play it like they've forgotten about him. "Thanks, sir, but flattery will get you nowhere. Neither out of this infirmary nor into me helping you babysit mini-McKay."

"I already said, I won't…" he interjects but in this moment a wailing can be heard coming out of the room behind him and immediately he turns around, not sure if he should enter or not until one of Jennifer's nurses pokes her head out of the door and beckons him to come back with a smile. Oh God… he's there… his son is really here.

As he walks towards the maternity ward, he can hear Lorne say behind him, "Five bucks Dusty will kick his ass before letting him touch the kid."

Cadman answers with, "Alright, sir. Five bucks she won't. Trust me, you don't know her half as well as I do," but just for once he doesn't care a bit about their harassing. Just this one time… there's someone so much more important waiting for him. And with a smile that's both relieved and insecure he finally steps into the maternity ward.


	84. 016 Purple

**A/N:** And here we go with the sequel to "Birth" and more Lorne/Cadman banter. I love it when they do that and I just wish I was continually good at writing it, not just in rare moments of genius (seriously, all that lighthearted banter is the result of lot of nights of sweating over stories and dialogues). _Anyway_, I'm now at seven stories to go but the bunnies are still attempting to stomp me to the ground (and it's all **mac**'s fault!). Evil little buggers, keeping me from writing those last seven stories... Meh! Ahem, alright, just... on with the story...

* * *

Prompt: 016 Purple

**True anarchists**

"_kinder an die macht  
sie sind die wahren__ anarchisten  
lieben das chaos  
räumen  
kennen keine rechte  
keine pflichten  
noch ungebeugte kraft  
massenhaft."_

_Herbert Grönemeyer, "Kinder an die Macht"_

"No, this is not… Darren! _No_… Just great." A little flustered she stops in front of her team leader's door. When nothing else comes, she shrugs and wants to continue walking but then she hears something crashing to the floor and some serious cussing and so she decides that it's probably better to reassure herself that everything is okay.

A while ago… Major Lorne – she still can't bring herself to call him Evan in her head even though it's been two months since he officially offered for her to call him by his first name when they are off-duty – gave her the access codes to his personal quarters in case anything happened but despite public opinion she does know how to spell politeness and so she tries the door buzzer. There's an unidentifiable sound from the other side and that's enough confirmation for her to come in.

She opens the door, enters and… is taken aback by the sheer chaos that greets her. The sheets on the bed are askew – she's pretty sure that this is _not_ their usual condition during the day – and the floor is cluttered with something that looks suspiciously like brushes and other painting utensils. But the best of all is… the way Evan and Darren, Rodney and Dusty's son, look.

There's really no way… she snorts. "Uh… correct me if I'm wrong but… isn't war paint supposed to be _black_ and _green_?"

The look of dismay on her CO's face tells her that he doesn't find this funny. Not even a bit. Darren; however… seems to be very taken with some of the colors… especially blue, yellow and… purple. At least it's not pink but she _definitely_ needs to find a way to tell Dusty about it _and_ see her reaction to it. But the best thing about all of this is that… an enormous amount of the purple has made it onto Evan's face.

The very dark and dismayed look he throws her lasts for about another few seconds then he has obviously decided not to let himself be bested by a Marine as he says a little haughtily, "In the USMC maybe… but the Air Force likes to use more sophisticated colors, Captain."

Uh-oh, he tried to "Captain" her. Ever since they agreed to be on a permanent first name basis off-duty he only calls her by her rank when she did something to really piss him off. But really, she hasn't been in this room for more than a few moments. Usually, it does take her longer than that to do things to piss him off. Well, okay, there was this one time when she had managed to nearly sell him off to the local matriarch only seconds after entering the village … and that thing with the accidental near destruction of an Ancient space station… and… oh, okay. Sometimes she does wonder why he still keeps her on his team. So not wanting to agitate him any further she really tries to keep her amusement under wraps. "Of course. Sir."

However… he doesn't look like he believes her act of finding nothing funny in the whole situation. Little Darren is still very interested in the colors and somehow gives him the slip every time he tries to get him. In fact… he's crawling towards her and when he reaches her boots he looks up at her smiling one of those irresistible baby smiles. A little dumbfounded she looks down and feels at a momentary loss of what to do. "How about picking him up?"

She looks at Evan again and there's a faint smirk in his face. Sensing his imminent glee, she sticks out her tongue and says, "Ha, ha, very funny."

The smirk gets broader. "He's a _baby_, Cadman… not a live bomb."

Well… he shouldn't have said _that_. "I'd rather take the bomb, thank you." The kid at her feet seems to be very interested in her boot laces all of a sudden so she takes a step back… but that doesn't discourage him in the least. And instead of being his ever helpful self Evan just sits there on the floor, amusement written all over his face. So not fair.

"Don't tell me you're afraid of a _kid_." Oh, she knows very well what he's trying to achieve with this. He wants to tickle the kick ass warrior in her to trick her into picking the kid up. He _always_ tries to use that kind of thing to make her do something she doesn't want to do… and dammit, each and every time it _works_. Just like now.

Because she is _not_ afraid of a kid. And like hell she'll let him believe it, even if what she'll do next will make him _incredibly_ smug. Squaring her shoulders and putting on her most haughty face she bends down to pick up the multicolored midget at her feet. With the kid in her arms she turns to him, looking sassy and very much like 'Now what?'

Her CO, though, just gets up and takes a few steps towards her, grinning. "See? That wasn't so hard."

Again, very funny. And very, _very_ funny that Darren has now started giving _her_ face a make-over. Trying to dodge his little pudgy paint-smeared hands she walks up to Evan and almost shoves the kid back into his arms, stating, "Like I said… I still do bombs, not babies."

He's about to quip something sarcastic to that but what comes is something completely different, "Actually… I think that's a pity."

She knows she should just dismiss that and give him a snarky come back but it just… never comes. Two and a half years they have been team mates – even friends – now and sure, they had their flirty moments because between men and women _no_ relationship ever happens without a little bit of flirting but it was always harmless… mostly, because he never looked at her like he looks now. Like he caught himself at something he'd never wanted to say out loud because he _knew_ it would raise questions on her part.

A little nervously she purses her lips, all her options racing through her brain at light speed… and just for once she has a moment of panic and decides for flight instead of fight. "Right. I think… I think I should… go now. I have this… I should…"

Hastily she wants to turn around and flee his quarters but surprisingly… he halts her with saying, "Cadman… Laura." Taking a deep breath, she turns around, mainly because of the almost tentative and very serious undertone in his voice. And because he called her by her first name which he only does very rarely.

As he's standing there… with the kid on his hip, rubbing his neck with one hand, looking worried and contrite and like he regrets his slip of tongue… she can't help but realizing what an attractive man he is. So, yes, of course she always knew he looked good and enjoyed seeing him both relaxed on down time and in action kicking enemy asses but _this_ attraction… goes a little bit further than just good looks.

It scares her to feel this way about her CO… but it also kicks her warrior instincts into action because dammit nothing scares her and _nothing_ will ever make her run away from it so she does the only thing left to her: She takes a leap of faith. "But then again… writing mission reports can wait just for a little while longer, I guess."

The smile of relief that follows his moment of not quite realizing that she just volunteered to stay and the little butterflies in her stomach are worth the self-deprecation and the diffuse hunch that she just set events in motion that will definitely _not_ make life _easier_ for them in the near future – or maybe _ever_ again. "Just for once… I agree, Ca… Laura."

They smile at each other again, a little embarrassed and shyly… so she _is_ kind of thankful when Darren chooses this moment to make himself known again by trying to finish the masterpiece he started on Evan's face. It makes them laugh and she walks over to him again to lend him a hand. After all… preparing for a possible time somewhere far in the future when she'll do _both_ bombs and babies can't hurt, can it?

~*~

"Power to the children

They are the true anarchists

Love chaos

Roam

Don't know any law

No duties

Still unbroken strength

In masses."

Herbert Grönemeyer, "Power To The Children"


	85. 048 Diamond

**A/N:** So here we go with the third part to "Enemies" and "Lovers"... a few years later. And um... language warning, you know. Laura and Evan are fighting... again (God, I love writing them when they fight :D). Anyway, still 7 stories to go because I have no clue about football and procrastinate writing the according story. I promise I'll stop it. Really. Or **mac** will kick my ass :D

* * *

Prompt: 048 Diamond

**Runs in the family**

"_Looking back it's so bizarre  
It runs in the family  
All the things we are  
On the back seat of the car  
With Joseph and Emily  
We only see so far  
- and we all have our daddy's eyes  
Looking back it's so bizarre."_

_Level 42, "Running In The Family"_

"No! _My_ daughter will _not_ go out with this guy. Just… no!" Okay, daddy does _not_ sound happy, that much is sure.

"Newsflash, Evan: She already went out with him. Twice." _Mom_! She wasn't supposed to tell him that! She was supposed to keep quiet and let _her_ handle this! Enraged about her mother's betrayal she's about to storm the living room… but she remembers in time that if she did her cover would be blown and she's not keen on barging into an argument between her parents right now… about _her_, of all things. So she decides to stay put and just listen… for the time being.

"She did _what_? And you _knew_ that? Laura?" Uh-oh. She can very well imagine how her father must be looking at her mother now. He's probably fuming… and her mother is probably smirking.

The tone of her answer indicates that as well, "I'm her mother, Evan. Of _course_ I knew that." That was probably the wrong thing to say because her father always took a lot of pride in the fact that despite being a very busy man he always had time for his children and was more than just a weekend father to them.

"Oh, and what kept you from actually _telling_ me about it?" That she told her mother not to do it, of course. Mom's a Marine; they always keep their word. Well, mostly. Ah, whatever.

"God, _Evan_!" Now mom probably threw her hands in the air and stomped across half the room. Mom always does all the pacing when they fight while dad stands in the room with his arms stoically crossed in front of his chest. Well, unless it gets really heated. When that happens, both of them move around a lot and gesture wildly. It had taken her all until she turned 18 a few months ago to realize what Zack, one of her two older brothers, had meant when he had said, "Watching mom and dad fight is just a little bit ew. It's kinda like… foreplay, sometimes."

At that thought, she visibly shudders, trying to ban visions of her parents in… ew. No, she won't think of that. Instead, she will concentrate on finding a way of not only listening to them but also watching them… despite the connotation that it has ever since Zack's stupid quip. Until she has found it, though… she has to be content with listening so she presses her ear to the door a little harder. "That's _not_ an answer! What the hell kept you from telling me my daughter is dating a goddamn _grunt_?"

Wait… _this_ is dad's only issue with Alexander? That he's in the Army? She rolls her eyes and she's pretty sure her mother just did the same because it can be heard in her tone when she answers, "Evan, she's _18_! It's her goddamn right to date anyone she wants. And you never felt compelled to judge the choice of partners of your _sons_." _That_ is just so _true_ and she makes a mental note to thank her mother for making this clear. Well, after she found out how to do that without compromising herself. She may be 18 but her parents still wouldn't like that she eavesdropped.

"That's because they never stooped so low." What the _hell_? The only reason why she doesn't storm the living room right _now_ is that her mother is faster with her reply.

"Jesus, Evan. It's not like she's dating a _Wraith_." A… what? Okay, must be something from that super secret place her parents served before Aaron, the oldest of her brothers, was born. They never told them anything about it but once in a while when friends like John Sheppard or Anne Teldy-Witts who used to serve with their parents come to visit words that sound equally strange – like wormholes and Asgard – sometimes surface in the conversation when they aren't paying attention enough.

"No, she's actually dating something _worse_." This is really starting to get out of hand… and she still hasn't found out how she can watch them undetected.

"Evan!" Now mom really sounds agitated. She wonders if this is going to be one of those fights that almost ends with flying china and banging doors.

"What? He's _Army_, for heaven's sake!" So what? Not for the first time she wonders what _his_ parents said when he told them he would be marrying a Marine, since the Lorne part of her family has a very strong Air Force tradition.

Her mother seems to be thinking the same, since she says, "Good God, he's attending _West Point_ and one of the top three in his class." Yep, exactly. And she's so fucking proud of Alex that it's almost not sane anymore. He's one of the brightest stars of his class and didn't dad always tell them not to settle for second best?

"That doesn't automatically make him a good _person_." God, sometimes her father can be such an _idiot_. She really starts to wonder what exactly is so bad about her dating someone from another service. It's _her_ goddamn life, after all.

"Yeah, right, Mr. 'I never settled for anything less than first place in everything'." Ha! Look who's talking! Go mom! Give him hell!

Dad, however, isn't quite prepared to give up yet as he grumbles, "Hey, this is _not_ about me." Damn right you are, dad. Although… she'd really like to know what's causing her father to be so opposed. It can't be his usual fatherly over protectiveness that much she can feel.

"Yes, you're right, it damn well isn't. It's about your _daughter_ and her _happiness_, Evan. Can't you see that?" Oh… oh now she feels strangely… touched. That her mother would fight so fiercely for her happiness and all that… it makes her a little teary-eyed. Mom had always been an advocate for their children but never this viciously.

So hopefully dad will… "No, I can't. Seriously, Laura, why does it have to be an _Army_ guy of all people?" Because he's handsome and funny and tender and smart… and did she mention handsome? And if her father would stop being such an ass, she could just walk in there and _tell_ him so.

For a moment… it's silent and she just has this feeling that her mother is just _this_ close to exploding. Mom really likes to do that after _this_ kind of silence. In the end, though, her mother keeps from doing it but there's still a lot of restraint in her voice when she says, "Evan… did it occur to you that this was _exactly_ the same question your dad wondered about when you told them you wanted to marry me? And you do remember what happened then, right?" Huh? What's _this_ about?

There's another silence and what wouldn't she give now to see her parents. Maybe that would give her a hint as to what her mother just meant. Grandpa James never gave her the feeling that he couldn't stand mom or something… in fact, they always seem to enjoy each other's company very much.

Then, "Right… I remember it. Actually, I can still hear you yelling and threatening to make me sleep on the couch for an indefinite amount of time if I didn't take up talking to my father _right this moment_." Wow. Obviously… grandpa James hadn't been _that_ overjoyed when her father had told him about wanting to marry a Marine. She makes a mental note to ask him about it because she just has this feeling that her _parents_ won't ever tell her about it.

"And I was right with it, wasn't I?" Now there's a lot of smugness in her mother's voice and that tells her that dad lost the fight. Again.

He seems to have seen it as well but isn't quite ready to admit to it because he says, "Yeah, yeah. I still… ah, you know."

"Hey, it's not as if she wants to _marry_ him, you know." She can hear a smile in her mother's voice and she can imagine very well the amused and fond smile she gives dad and how his face softens at that because it always does. Phew… it's almost over.

"Yeah, thank _God_." And with that… it finally seems to be settled… but then she hears her father grumble nearly inaudibly, "Fine. She can have him. But if he hurts her I'm still gonna rip him a new one and let him eat dirt. At least." Argh. Why did he have to say that? _Why_? Okay, so it gives her a strange warm and fuzzy feeling that her father loves her so much he'd become violent on a guy if he hurt her. But _Alex_ would never do that… and besides, she's pretty sure mom will now start yelling at dad again and…

"No, you won't." Yeah, here we go again. One, two… "Because there won't be much left of him when _I_ am finished with him." Oh… oh, no yelling… and her mother slightly scaring her with the conviction in her voice.

After that… there's another moment of silence but _this_ time she's pretty sure it's that… "making-up silence" which means that they're smiling at each other and probably kissing and… "You can come in now, Hailey." Aw, _fuck_. But yeah, she should have known they'd know she was eavesdropping on them. After all, both her parents are career soldiers and just too experienced to not notice when someone is listening in on them. "It's no use pretending, honey. We _know_ you're standing right in front of the door."

Right. Time to face the music. And they quit yelling a while ago. Should be safe now, to enter, shouldn't it? Oh well… no guts, no glory, that's what her mother always says and Alex is worth all of this, so she takes a deep breath… and enters the room.


	86. 063 Summer

**A/N:** And now... something for everyone who follows the Minor Characters/Protect and Survive series and is pissed at me for taking so excruciatingly long with updating the latest story, "Take Charge". It entails _major_ spoilers (and I really mean **_MAJOR_**... as in... character related, both good and... not so good), since it's taking place _way_ later (Evan and Laura have been married for maybe a month... and you do remember that the last PAS piece ended with the _proposal_, right? So this is _years_ after "Minor Characters: Take Charge") so everyone who doesn't like to be spoiled should better skip this (I really won't mind if you do). Everyone else... this is... um... **mac**'s fault. All of it, even the embarrassing new nick name for Tom and the possibility that I might have gone a little over the top with the wedding fluff clichés. No idea how _exactly_ but mac's definitely to blame for it. Yeah.

* * *

Prompt: 063 Summer

**To have and to hold**

"_When it's love you give  
(I'll be a man of good faith.)  
Then in love you live.  
(I'll make a stand. I won't break.)  
I'll be the rock you can build on,  
Be there when you're old,  
To have and to hold."_

_Bryan Adams feat. Sting and Rod Stewart, "All For Love"_

"Nervous, Captain?" She gives him a look that tells him that she's not amused and shakes her head.

"No, sir. Or at least not as nervous as Laura was." It's a lie, of course. He has never met a woman who _wasn't_ nervous on her wedding day. He also has known her long enough now to know very well that she's _at least_ as nervous as Laura was – and he has it on good accounts that Laura was nervous _as hell_.

But because he's also known her long enough to know that Maureen Reece doesn't take it lightly to be teased about a weakness in her own way, all he does is smile at her and say, "Sure. Now, do you want continue torturing Tom or are you ready to go out there?"

If it were up to him… they'd stay a little longer here, just to get back at Tom for making him insane on _both_ his weddings; the one Laura and he had wanted and the one their mothers had forced on them after hearing they'd married on the base. But of course this isn't _his_ wedding and it _was_ an honor that Maureen and Tom asked him to lead Maureen down the aisle in lieu of Maureen's deceased father.

"As ready as I'll ever be, sir." She squares her shoulders and he wonders if this is how Laura prepared for getting married to him… as if she's about to face down an enemy. Yeah, well… probably, but he sure hopes it was more because of having to face the audience than because of him.

"Thought so. Shall we?" He offers her his arm and with a small smile, she takes it, with surprising ease. Strangely enough, in this moment he remembers how they'd first met. She'd just come out of Tom's office, after having been chewed out by him for the very first time. Because the little Lieutenant had seemed to be nice enough he'd taken a moment to smile at her and tell her that barking dogs usually don't bite and those barking loud enough that the whole corridor could hear them even less. Her only answer had been a shy smile with just a hint of her later dry sarcasm and disappearing from the scene as soon as possible. She's come a long way indeed. Oh well, there's something that's overdue, "By the way… I wouldn't mind if you'd call me Evan when we're off-duty."

"Sir?" Ah yeah, she'll probably never get rid of second-guessing other people caring for her.

"You're about to marry a guy I've known since the Academy, Maureen. I think it's about time, don't you?" That makes her smile and even blush a little

"You got a point there, sir… Evan." Of course he has. Laura, also of course, will tell him in no uncertain terms what she thinks of him taking so long to offer it to Maureen, even though he _knew_ she'd never start calling him by his first name on her own, as Laura had done with Tom at some point. And then she points out, "Anyway, I think we should get going."

Mh, yeah, true. They'd stopped right in front of the door to the pier Tom and Maureen had chosen for the ceremony and according to the schedule they're on cue now to enter. "Right."

And then she takes his arm again and he leads her through the door, out onto the sunlit pier, with the waves gently swapping against it and a number of Atlantis personnel sitting in rows leading up to Mr. Woolsey, Laura as Maureen's Matron of Honor and Tom with Sergeant DeLisle, his Best Man. Actually… he still wonders what _exactly_ Maureen did to make Laura wear a dress for her wedding _and_ keep her from grumbling about not being allowed to be part of the Guard of Honor

The moment Tom sees them walking through the door, his whole posture changes. He seems even taller than usual, alert… and when they are closer, he can see a look of astonishment and affection he has never before seen on Tom's face. It dawns on him that in all the years they've known each other and despite all they went through together he has _never_ seen Tom as open as this, probably not even… no, this is _not_ a day to think about things like _that_.

When they arrive, he leads Maureen to stand beside Laura and is amazed and a little amused at the giddiness and joy she radiates. He gives her another encouraging smile and catches a short look at Laura who seems to be just as amused about how open Tom and Maureen suddenly are in their affection for each other. Then Maureen mouths "Thank you, Evan," and this is his cue to step aside until it's time for the Guard of Honor.

Taking his seat, beside newly promoted Oberstabsarzt Matthias Morsberg, he leans back; now free to observe the ceremony. He doesn't mind _not_ being Tom's Best Man because he knows very well that he may be Tom's oldest friend here… but Sergeant DeLisle is his _best_ friend, even though they would _never_ admit to this. In fact… had Tom asked him he would have turned it down, pointing out that there was this Sergeant on his team who'd follow him to hell and back if he had to just because _someone_ had to make sure he wouldn't get himself into any stupid scrapes.

He's glad, though, that Maureen asked Laura to be her Matron of Honor because that meant that Laura had no chance to get away with wearing Class A's instead of a dress. Actually… the only thing he'll ever openly admit to have been a _good_ thing about their second wedding had been Laura being forced to wear a wedding dress, even though she still claims she _hated_ it with all the passion possible.

"Honored guests and friends, we are here today to be witnesses to Captain Maureen Catrina Reece and Major Thomas William Moore Junior being joined in marriage." Junior? _Junior_? Tom is doomed now and he _knows_ that judging by the way he just winced when Woolsey mentioned this insignificant little detail Tom even managed to omit even in his _records_… at least the version he's allowed to read.

As Woolsey continues to speak, he manages to catch Laura's eyes and he can see the amused twinkle in it… someone just had the same thought at hearing the "junior". And was that a cough he just heard from Morsberg? With a raised eyebrow he turns to face him and the medic has the decency to look caught. "Very… dry air here, sir," he whispers and adds another little cough for good measure. Dry air. Uh-huh. Right. Better concentrate on Woolsey again or he might make some inappropriate remark involving the word Tom will probably hear a _lot_ over the next months… maybe even years.

"They are about to enter a commitment to each other just as serious as their commitment to their country and they deserve our deepest respect for making this step." Yeah, mostly because it had taken both Laura and him endless hours of convincing them that they should either stop whatever half-baked thing they had going on or make it official, permanent and a lot less stress- and hurtful for everyone involved.

"Even more so because they had to face many obstacles to reach this point," namely the NID, Goa'uld, Wraith, several other hostile Milky Way and Pegasus inhabitants… and most of all _themselves_, "but their story also teaches us that perseverance is a very important thing in every relationship. Both Captain Reece and Major Moore have shown us that they have it in abundance," but they _could_ have spared each other a lot of heart ache if they hadn't insisted on making it as hard as possible for each other, "which I daresay bodes well for this marriage."

"And _I_ daresay they aren't even listening," Morsberg says with a little smirk and he has to grin at that. No, they really aren't. They only have eyes for each other and even though he has seen them together off-duty a lot of times, he never saw them so very much in love and _happy_ like now. If the sun wasn't shining as brightly as it is now, they'd probably light up the pier all on their own.

"To conclude… let me give you just one last little quote, to remind you what marriage should be like. It was the great Homer who said 'There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.' May you confound many enemies and delight all your friends for a very, very long time." Hey, that was actually a nice quote. He wonders who helped Woolsey writing the speech… wait; did Laura just give him a very smug grin? She didn't… _did_ she?

"Would you please step forward, Sergeant DeLisle?" The Sergeant does as he is told and Woolsey continues, "Major Thomas William Moore Junior, do you take Captain Maureen Catrina Reece as your wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?"

Tom doesn't hesitate, simply takes the ring and puts it on Maureen's finger, saying, "I do."

On to the last hurdle now, then. "Captain Maureen Catrina Reece, do you take Major Thomas William Moore Junior as your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?"

Maureen… does look a little nervous for a moment but then she catches herself in time, does as Tom did and says, "I do," smiling so brightly that she even rivals Laura's smiles at both their weddings. Beside her… oh. Laura… Laura looks very much like she can't decide between ironically rolling her eyes as if to say, "Took you two long enough," and blinking away something that looks suspiciously like tears. Huh.

"You may kiss the bride." And kiss they do. People have told Laura and him that their wedding kiss – or _kisses_ – were very… inspiring but the way Tom kisses Maureen and she kisses him back… speaks volumes of how long they had to wait for this moment and _God_ is he glad they are finally there. He also… wishes a certain Laura Greenspan would be here to see this because he's sure she would have had a field day, probably conspiring with Morsberg for whatever prank for Tom and Maureen's wedding night he had planned with Maureen's German office mate, Hauptmann Julika Naumann or confusing DeLisle by smiling at him all through the ceremony…

Ah well, time to stop musing on what can't be changed – most of all because _she_ wouldn't want that – and to welcome a new military wife to the Air Force. Tom and Maureen have stopped kissing and that's his cue to get up and join the other members of the Guard of Honor. It was Maureen who had specifically asked for this, despite Tom not being really set on it. She had told him that she wanted to get it _right_ and that also included formally being welcomed to this kind of family. In the end Tom had agreed, admitting confidentially that he'd rather welcome Maureen to his real family – the USAF and even more specifically his team – than to the one he had on Earth.

So it's another great honor for him that he's the one to conduct the sword ceremony… and be the one to give Maureen the little slap on the bottom and a grinning, "Welcome to the Air Force, ma'am." Welcome indeed… and now off to torture Tom with this new intriguing new little detail… and to find Laura and make her uncomfortable with compliments over compliments on the dress…


	87. 054 Air

**A/N:** Incidentally... another Minor Characters piece, taking place _before_ "Summer" but _after_ the last PAS story "Show the world". I chose to write it from the POV of Morsberg, Moore's German medic because, you know, I have _no _clue about football and he doesn't, either so that was perfect ;) Also I included a list with some colloquialisms and the translation of all the German insertions at the end. And I'd like to point out that **mac** might have been the one to force me to write this _but_ she also saved the story by burying me under football links and a brilliant idea on how to end the story!

* * *

Prompt: 054 Air

**A rugged and ready crew**

"_Oh, they are men with a dream on America's team,  
They're a rugged and ready crew.  
And you can bet your boots the world looks up to U.S. Air Force Blue._

_To U.S. Air Force Blue!__"_

_Marilyn Scott and Keith Textor, "Air Force Blue"_

"Do we _really_ have to take _him_?" He looks at the redheaded female Marine – well, the one that wasn't on his team, that is – and simply raises his eyebrow. "Seriously, Maureen… he's _Army_." Just _this_ close to rolling his eyes now.

And then a mumbled "Gee, sorry I'm only KSK, not SEK M," escapes him.

Unfortunately, Cadman seems to have heard that since she turns to him now and gives him the _look_… the one he once heard Major Lorne describe as "Makes me feel like a third grader-look" and he can start to see why Lorne would say that… additionally he has a hard time not succumbing to the feeling that he's just a nuisance she's about to get rid of. "What?"

Helpful as ever, Maureen hastens to explain something – probably the differences between KSK and SEK M – but he's really not in the mood for lengthy discussions or splitting hairs about services and MOS and all that. So he just mutters a non-committal, "Uh… never mind."

It seems enough for Cadman to get back to basically ignoring him and gathering the team together. While she ticks the team members – aside from her there are Maureen Reece, Dusty Mehra, Robert McPherson, Will Meyers, Lieutenant Edison and four of those Marines he can never remember the names of although he really _tries_ to – off on a list on her clipboard, he wonders exactly why he let himself be convinced to be part of this by Maureen.

"Come on, it'll be fun," she'd said. "You'll be fine," she'd said. "It'll be totally harmless," she'd said. But they'd also said that about Afghanistan – yes, the fun bit as well – and Afghanistan was not what he would have called harmless. Or fine. Or _fun_.

Really, playing football with a bunch of American jarheads against a bunch of American flyboys is closer to Afghanistan than to fun. Well, in his book, at least. He'd been abysmal at soccer at home and his first reaction to Maureen's request to fill in for Lieutenant Prewitt at _football_ had been something along the lines of "Nur über meine Leiche." But yeah, no one can withstand Maureen Reece for long if she really wants something.

"Alright, folks." Oh, Cadman is done with checking if everyone is here. "I know we aren't a full football team but the Zoomies aren't a full team either. Also… they're a _crappy_ team, as Sergeant McPherson here found out by some careful… scouting." Read: spying. He's pretty sure that's what Cadman meant because that's basically what Dee had tried to do on him. At least he'd been able to keep it to himself that he's Prewitt's substitute. "Anyway, you all know your positions and what you're expected to do. Right, people?"

Everyone nods in accordance, even he who still has no idea what "Full Back/Running Back" or "Outside Linebacker" mean even though they have tried to drill it into him during seemingly countless training sessions that just looked like big bar brawls to him every damn time… but he'd silently thanked his handball coach at SV Victoria Hamburg on his knees for teaching him to hold his own when things got tough on the field.

Unfortunately, Cadman decided against ignoring him this time and throws a look with raised eyebrows, "Really, Morsberg? You, too?"

Not willing to let her see how much football still confuses him, he does what he always does when finding himself in a tight place: Resort to being the court jester. He throws her a very enthusiastic, "Yes, oh Captain, my Captain!"

Behind Cadman, Maureen only rolls her eyes but Sergeant Meyers and Lieutenant Edison look like they are having difficulties hiding that they found it pretty funny. Cadman, however, keeps her cool and replies quite unfazed, "Wow, a Kraut soldier that knows American poetry."

Well… "Um, not exactly… but I've seen Dead Poets' Society. At least twice." Meyers and Edison now snicker openly and one of the Four Nameless – he has secretly dubbed him "Baby Marine" because he just looks so excruciatingly _young_ – has the gall to snort loud enough for Cadman to hear it and turn around to shoot him one of these looks that would even make _Major Moore_ shut up.

Then she's back at trying to intimidate _him_, this time with a short "Right," and then it's obviously pep talk time again. "So, you know where you stand, you know what to do, you know the enemy's just second-rate at best. Let's get out there and get 'em. Oorah!" They all answer her like one man, even he who still kinda misses hearing his home regiment's battle cry of "Keine Schmerzen!" even after more than five years in Atlantis.

Eager to kick some Zoomie butts, the Marines leave the jumper and he trails behind, trying to convince himself he's _not_ still trying to find excuses for getting out of this scheme because dammit, he's not only a doctor, he's also Army, jump-qualified and bested some of the Bundeswehr's best paratrooper officers and sergeants on a regular scale, just to shut them up about stupid medic jokes. He'll survive one damn stupid game of football.

Or maybe… _not_. This can't be true. The moment the Marines see their opponent team, there's a collective groan. On the opposite end of the improvised field there's the Air Force team. And it does _not_ consist of a row of young Air Force Lieutenants who are still wet behind the ears, as McPherson had told them. Instead, there is… John Sheppard, Evan Lorne, Sam Carter – wait, isn't she supposed to be on the _General Hammond_, overseeing the restocking of Atlantis? – his own boss Thomas Moore, Anne Teldy, Matthew Kemp, Dee, Joe Simmons, only _two_ baby Lieutenants and… Ronon Dex; all of them grinning, Sheppard, Lorne and Moore the brightest.

It takes the baffled Marines a moment to gather their wits and then Cadman dead-pans, "Alright, so… _they_ have Conan the Barbarian and _we_ have… Colonel Klink. Yay."

What the… stunned he looks at her for a moment but manages to get back his cool soon enough. "I _heard_ that, Cadman. But thanks for the promotion."

Before she can say anything to that, though, it's Maureen's turn to comment on the current situation… quite forcefully, actually. "What the hell! Laura, don't tell me you didn't know about this." Yeah, well, she's got a point with that. After all, Cadman's boyfriend is standing there on the other side, obviously pleased about the little… surprise.

Their fearless team leader, though, just says, "No, I _didn't_. If I had, I sure as hell wouldn't have waited to tell you until now."

That, however, doesn't quite satisfy Maureen. "Laura! Seriously, how could you not know about this? You're sleeping with one of them, for Heaven's sake!" Na ja, wo sie recht hat…

"Far as I know, _you_'re sleeping with one of them, also." Okay, that's a point for Cadman, as Maureen's contrite face tells him.

Still, she wants to reply something… and is cut short by Mehra throwing in, "Okay, so, now that we know who of us is sleeping with a Zoomie… could we please get back to the _important_ things?" Ouch. Mehra is not exactly a docile person but _that_ is really walking a _very_ fine line. When everyone looks at her astounded, she just shrugs her shoulders and adds, "What? My boss is on their team and I didn't know either. But am I bitching about this?" She throws a look into the round, every inch as intimidating as Cadman. "Yeah, right. So how do we get those cheating…"

"Right, Dusty, I get what you're saying." How nice of Cadman to save Mehra from herself by interrupting her before she can insult any of her superiors… and _most_ of those Zoomies on the other side are her superiors. "Okay, guys, we'll stick with our plan. Zoomies are Zoomies… are Zoomies." As if that's really all that needs to be said – which it probably is, since he's very well versed in everything regarding grunts vs. flyboys because it's like this all over the world – she squares her shoulders and takes a few steps in the direction of the advancing Air Force team. The look on her face… if he was in Major Lorne's shoes, he'd consider bunking with Major Moore tonight, because _he_ will probably have to sleep on the couch also after this game.

Determinedly, Cadman motions for them to enter the makeshift field and to take their positions. Just as they taught him he comes to stand behind Sergeant Meyers whom they had appointed as Quarterback as long as they were offense. Luckily enough, that makes it possible for him to be close enough to Cadman – they called her position "Center" – and Lorne who's apparently her counterpart to hear Cadman say, "You're dead, Evan. D E A D." Okay… suddenly he's glad he's on her team.

Lorne, however, displays an astounding amount of courage and daring when he replies, grinning almost evilly, "We'll see about _that_, Laura. Now, can we get down to business?" Since they don't have a referee – apparently, really no one in Atlantis had the guts to get between the fronts in this game – they had to rely on someone from the teams to conduct the coin toss and Dee was the unfortunate soul to draw the shortest straw. Stoic as ever, he steps up, Cadman and Lorne make their choices, he tosses the coin in the air… and then there's the point of no return and all he can do is play his part of the game as well as possible.

Which isn't exactly easy because of several reasons… they're playing on sand, they're playing a game he's had exactly two weeks to get accustomed with… and they're playing against the elite of the Atlantis USAF contingent. Well, plus Conan the Barbarian, that is. It's around the third brawl he somehow becomes part of that he decides that football is _really_ closer to Afghanistan than to fun because verdammt, they really take no prisoners in this.

It doesn't help much that at three minutes to the end of the game, the Zoomies are in the lead by five points because they managed to score – and he's kinda proud that he actually managed to get this right without anyone having to explain it to him – two touchdowns and a field goal while the jarhead team only got one touchdown and a field goal.

He'd been determined not to give anything on this and simply concentrate on surviving the game without any major injuries but… if this had been a game of Heer versus Luftwaffe back home – or Sanitätsdienst versus just _anyone_, even Musikdienst – he'd be _pissed_ about trailing behind the flyboys and his ambition would be tickled… just as it is now. There's no way a grunt, no matter the nationality, will _ever_ defer to one of the boys and girls in blue.

So it's no surprise that this time, there's nothing left of his reluctance and his biting outsider's perspective sarcasm when Cadman orders her team for one last time out. They huddle together and she… explains something he doesn't understand but what he _does_ understand is, "Morsberg, I want you downfield, as close as possible to their end zone. Think you can do that?"

Well… um… "Sure." If there's one thing you learn as a doctor with a blue beret sporting the telltale Aesculapian staff among hard-nosed Special Forces soldiers with their Bordeaux berets sporting the stylized sword, it's to appear _absolutely_ confident even though you're scared to death.

"Good." Yep… works every time. "All you have to do is stay there and have an eye on Sergeant Meyers here. If he tosses you the ball, you just catch it, run into the end zone, ditch the ball and become an immortal hero. Piece of cake."

He raises her eyebrow and is tempted to say, "I'm a doctor, Jim, not a football legend," but in the end he decides to keep it at mumbling, "Klar, wird ein Spaziergang." That gets him a few strange looks and he hurries to add, "Never mind. So how are we gonna _get_ the ball?"

Cadman smirks… and it's looking just a bit scary. "Don't worry; I'll take care of that. Sheppard and Teldy aren't the only ones who've got dirty tricks up their sleeves." Yeah, he can imagine _that_, having seen how Cadman and various other members of the team – including Maureen, which did shock him a little – had managed to outmaneuver the Zoomies time and again. Not that it had gotten them points but… oh well. Time do his bit.

Again there's the ritual of facing the other team, someone gives the signal and… did Cadman just lunge at Major Lorne and _kiss_ him? What the… "Run, you Teutonic oaf!" Oh right. Running as if he's chased by the devil he makes for the end zone, always keeping an eye on Meyers, managing to jostle Major Moore hard enough that he actually downs him, getting past Simmons…

The ball… wo ist dieser Scheißball, verdammt? He blinks, tries to reorient himself… and suddenly sees the damn thing flying towards him. Colonel Carter tries to intercept it but his handball instincts kick in and he manages to get to it before she can catch it and dodge every attempt at tackling him. In one big leap, he brings it into the end zone and before he can even move to see where the rest of his team is, said rest is suddenly practically burying him in wild cheers and whoops.

For a few moments, he can only hope that his team isn't set on suffocating him but then they let him get up and there are backslaps from Cadman, Mehra and Meyers and one or two jokes about "Furor Teutonicus" from Maureen… and even an appreciative little grin from McPherson and he isn't sure if he should actually tell anyone at home about this because to some – namely his old man and his former CO back in Calw – it would probably be even more unbelievable than the fact that Atlantis exists.

"Know what, Morsberg?" He looks at Cadman who's still grinning from ear to ear. "You just became a football legend." Mh. Matthias Morsberg, savior of the jarhead honor… yeah, he likes that. Exceedingly, even.

"Yeah, and as such, it's your duty to throw a round for all the participants," Sheppard interrupts the victory party and smirks at him. He's about to answer when he sees his boss approach, looking not exactly happy.

And here goes Major Moore, sore lose… "Just so you know, Moose, next time you're gonna play on _my_ team." Uh-huh, yeah right. He wants to give back something that's bound to get him into trouble – _again_ – but he suddenly realizes that it was Moore's way of paying his respect to him. It stuns him enough to be speechless for a short moment… which the jarheads use to tell Moore and the rest of the Air Force team what exactly they think about shameless attempts at poaching and as it turns into a bantering and laughing together he actually starts to rethink his original assessment. _Maybe_ football isn't _that_ bad after all… or at least certainly better than Afghanistan.

* * *

KSK – Kommando Spezialkräfte, a Special Forces unit of the German Army

SEK M – Spezialisierte Einsatzkräfte Marine, the only Marine unit of the German Navy, including boarding crews, Kampfschwimmer (Navy SEAL style Special Forces unit) and mine clearance divers

"Nur über meine Leiche." – "Over my dead body."

"Keine Schmerzen!" – "No pain!" (can you imagine how hard it was finding a German medic battle cry that didn't sound totally ridiculous?)

Na ja, wo sie recht hat… (the actual phrase is „Wo sie recht hat, hat sie recht.") – Well, where she's right…

Verdammt – dammit, fuck, crap… hey, how come you have so many words for it and we have only one?

Heer – German Army

Luftwaffe – German Air Force

Sanitätsdienst – the correct term would be "Zentraler Sanitätsdienst", Joint Medical Service, which means that the medical services of the three branches are joined under one administrative roof

Musikdienst – the correct term would be "Zentraler Musikdienst", Joint Music Service which basically is the same as the Medical Service, only that it entails all musical units such as the branches' bands which are called Musikkorps (Heeresmusikkorps, Luftwaffenmusikkorps, Marinemusikkorps), the Bundeswehr Big Band and several other orchester units – since the soldiers serving there are supposed to be medics in case Germany would be attacked, they are usually regarded as even less "real" soldiers than the medics (or "Sanis" in German)

with a blue beret sporting the telltale Aesculapian staff – it's how you spot a German Army medic ;)

"Klar, wird ein Spaziergang." – "Sure, it's gonna be a walk in the park."

Wo ist dieser Scheißball, verdammt? – Where's the fucking ball, dammit?

"Furor Teutonicus" - Teutonic Fury, referring to a myth about Germanic warriors going berserk in the heat of battle

Calw – small city in Baden-Württemberg where the KSK is based


	88. 055 Spirit

**A/N:** And another one... this one was also written for the sg_rarepairings community over on LJ and could actually be a kind of companion piece to "Air", since it features the Marines' Hymn, whereas "Air" featured an Air Force song (yeah, I'm being Captain Obvious here... sorry :S). BTW, on the writing front... I'm done with 96 prompts and have four to go (started writing the 97th piece yesterday but forced myself to go to bed before I could finish it because I figured I need to stop hacking my jaws into things I can very well finish the next day ;)). That, of course, is all **mac**'s merit because she keeps pushing me forward as relentlessly as every self-respecting beta should. You rock, mac!

* * *

Prompt: 055 Spirit

**Never lost our nerve**

"_Here's health to you and to our Corps  
Which we are proud to serve;  
In many a strife we've fought for life  
And never lost our nerve;  
If the Army and the Navy  
Ever look on Heaven's scenes;  
They will find the streets are guarded  
By United States Marines."_

_Hymn of the United States Marine Corps_

She stares at the empty piece of paper in front of her. Has been doing so for at least ten minutes now, since she entered the mess hall. Before that… she'd been staring at it for more than two hours in her quarters. And before _that_ she'd been staring at it in the junior officers' bull pen for at least an hour.

However, it all got her nowhere with this. She should be able to do this – write a letter to Lance Corporal Andrew Redmonn's parents explaining about his death and expressing her deepest condolences, as it is proper for her as his commanding officer – but it seems that somewhere between OCS and Atlantis she forgot all about the lessons they taught them about this kind of stuff. She _knows_ there's a certain way to write something like this but for the life of her she can't remember it.

It doesn't help either that whenever she starts writing that standard letter some memory of Redmonn comes back. He'd been on her team for two years and even thought they'd had their fair share of… disagreements at the beginning they had somehow managed to become proper teammates and maybe even friends.

Unlike Lance Corporal Brendan Hiller, her other military team member, Redmonn had been one of those Marines' Marines, all about doing drills and yelling at people and for at least two months she'd felt like _he_ was the one judging _her_ performance, not the other way around. Then she had beaten the crap out of him in front of at least 20 guffawing and grunting Marines and Airmen and the matter had surprisingly been settled ever after.

God, she can't believe she feels her eyes going moist. Didn't Dr. Obecheva, the biologist on her team, cry enough for _all_ of them? She's a Marine, dammit, and Redmonn would lose the respect for her she worked so hard for if she started bawling her eyes out now. He'd want her to buck up, maybe yell at a few newbies in his commemoration and then continue being the kick-ass officer he recognized her to be.

Except… except she's also Laura, not only Lieutenant Cadman and… and… "Evening, Lieutenant." Her head whips up and she sees Major Evan Lorne sitting down across from her. Taking great care not to betray any of the feelings inside of her, she leans back, trying to look casual.

"Evening, sir." He doesn't answer right away, only looks at her for an almost endless moment.

Then he seems to have decided something and leans forward to gesture towards the piece of paper in front of her. "Letter home?"

For a short moment she contemplates telling him to get lost but then again… he _is_ her CO. Even though that doesn't explain where he suddenly came from in the middle of the night but that's not the point here right now. "Something… like that, yeah." Damn, why hadn't she simply said yes? Now she caught his attention and he'll start bothering her and then she'll have to be insolent and…

"Well, then… I'll leave you to it." Oh. Okay, that was _not_ what she expected. She also didn't expect him to actually get up again and leave the table and…

And she didn't expect herself to be desperate enough to clear her throat and say, "Actually, sir… I could use your… advice." She will _not_ sink as low and actually say "help"; that's for sure.

He turns around, raising his eyebrows. Why does that seem like he… rehearsed that? Huh. "Really? With what?" And that _sounds_ like he… already expected her to say that. Nah, she's imagining that, what with the stress of losing Redmonn and having to keep the remainder of her team together and everything.

"It's some… official stuff and… everyone knows you're pretty good at it and everyone knows I'm not really a big fan of it, so… I figured…" Oh God, that came out _totally_ wrong. If Redmonn saw her like that – stuttering like a teenage girl in front of her CO – he'd roll his eyes and go somewhere to retch or something, she's sure of that.

Major Lorne, however, simply sits down again and gives her a funny look… like he knows _exactly_ what this is about. "Just to make this clear: I'm not good at _all_ 'official stuff'." What… is he trying to get at? "For example…" with that he rubs a hand over his eyes and _this_ doesn't look rehearsed or cocky or anything like it, "condolence letters."

He… _does_ know what this is all about. Oh well… he isn't the city's second in command for nothing and even Redmonn respected him almost from day one, even though he's just Chair Force. "Right, sir." She looks at the empty piece of paper again, wondering if Major Lorne ever felt like she does now; intellectually and emotionally inadequate as an officer and a Marine – intellectually because what the _hell_ is so difficult about writing a simple letter and emotionally because she wishes she could detach herself from the loss of Redmonn and simply see it as a professional matter rather than a personal one.

Seeing that she isn't going to volunteer more, he lowers his head and rubs his neck and racks his hair. Then he says with a distinctive frustrated undertone to it, "Lieutenant… if you want me to write the letter to Redmonn's next of kin… just ask me."

What? _No_! How _dare_ he? Insinuating she's not capable of doing something as simple as that? The only reason she doesn't stand up and leave the table this minute is that Major Lorne is in a position to seriously wreck her career if he doesn't like the way she talks to him… or even _looks_ at him. It doesn't keep her from adding some ice to her voice, though, when she replies, "No, thank you, sir. I think I can do the job myself." Whoa. Redmonn would have been proud of her for telling off that Zoomie, even if that Zoomie happened to be both their CO. Major Lorne, however…

Oh. To her surprise he doesn't get mad at her instantly. Instead he shakes his head, obviously trying hard to keep it civil… yet. "I wasn't… Lieutenant… Laura, I know you've been under a lot of stress lately and… it's not a bad thing to accept a little help now and then."

She should be pissed off now. She should get up, yell at him, tell him to get lost for all that he just said and implied but the only thing she does is wiping her hand over her face and saying, "I know that, sir. But Lance Corporal Redmonn was a member of _my_ team. _I_ was responsible for him and he _trusted_ me to either bring him home in one piece or take the responsibility for it if I didn't. No offense, sir, but… _he_ was a Marine and _I_ am a Marine and that's why _I_ have to write this."

_Goddammitholycrapthis__justcan'tbetrue_… now she _did_ start crying. Or well, not _outright_ crying but… something that feels suspiciously like a lump formed of tears threatening to overspill constricts her throat. Major Lorne doesn't say anything at first but then he takes a deep breath. "I see, Lieutenant." Something must have tipped him off that she doesn't really believe him so he adds, "I really do. But you know… it surely won't hurt asking a fellow officer – even if he's a Zoomie – for a suggestion or two as how to start the letter, will it?"

That last bit is accompanied by a little half-smile. Who would have thought Zoomies were capable of showing some self-irony? And well… yeah, she could live with that. Even though Redmonn would probably have to say a piece or two about that. But then again… maybe he would have found it okay, even if it was only grudgingly because this is Major Lorne of whom Redmonn once dared claiming that it was _almost_ a pity that he'd joined the Chair Force instead of the Corps.

She tries a smile herself. "No, I guess not." Then she bites her lip and forces herself to say, "So… do you have any? Suggestions, I mean."

He nods, looking glad that she finally gave up being a stubborn jarhead and replies, "As a matter of fact, I do. See, usually it's best if you…" As he goes on explaining to her how to tell the parents of a 25-year-old Lance Corporal that their son died in a place that shouldn't even exist for most Earth inhabitants with being honest about it without compromising COMSEC or OPSEC she finally finds the words that have so long been eluding her. And she finally stops feeling like she can't do either Redmonn, her rank or the Corpse justice… and she hopes that one day she'll be able to repay Major Lorne the favor he did her tonight. Because Marines… they always pay their dues and Redmonn would _not_ be amused if she didn't.


	89. 056 Breakfast

**A/N: **Here we go with another Teyla perspective. For some reason I really enjoy writing her, as scarcely as I do it. She always forces me to really refine my style, use different vocabulary, really get into a different way of thinking... she's a challenge, but one that's really fun ;) The lyrics are German again because really only Wir sind Helden can express what this story is about. There is, of course, a translation at the end of the story. BTW, on the writing front... I'm done with 97 prompts and need exactly _two_ to be done. Oh. My. God. **Mac** will have to get ready for having to beta something else than Fanfic100 after that :D Well, if she actually decides Fanfic100 didn't wear her out too much to ever want to beta for me again...

* * *

Prompt: 056 Breakfast

**Love takes time**

"_Ach Auré__lie, in Deutschland braucht die Liebe Zeit  
Hier ist man nach Tagen erst zum ersten Schritt bereit  
Die nächsten Wochen wird gesprochen  
Sich auf's Gründlichste berochen  
Und erst dann trifft man sich irgendwo zu zweit."_

_Wir sind Helden, "Auré__lie"_

She always was a good observer. She has always _liked_ to observe. People like to take her for a person interested in action and a "doer" as the Earth people sometimes like to say and she may very well be that person… but all the movement and action wouldn't be as good as they are if she wouldn't have taken long hours of simply observing, looking, _learning_.

In fact… learning is what she set out to do today as well. Of course, for the records this is just another monthly visit to New Athos, to see if her people need anything, if everything is in order. But there had been a reason why she had suggested that Major Lorne and Lieutenant Cadman of all people accompany her. She had wanted to _learn_ something from them… or rather from _observing_ them.

And as she had hoped it would be, even back in Atlantis she had been able to learn a bit by watching Major Lorne and Lieutenant Cadman prepare themselves before walking through the Stargate. She had, for example, found it very interesting that Lieutenant Cadman hadn't reacted to one of Major Lorne's jibes about this mission not being one that seems like something she would have fun at like she usually reacted to this kind of jokes at her expense – with a snide remark of her own – but rather with a grin and a good-natured return jibe at Major Lorne always mysteriously getting the missions that involve food.

The light banter had continued when they had gotten to New Athos and walked to the village. Occasionally, she had joined in but mainly she had kept to watching them. Yes, the banter in itself had been a telltale sign but what had been _really_ interesting had been all the little non-verbal signals.

For example the thing with Lieutenant Cadman and her hair and her hands. By now she's sure that Lieutenant Cadman is doing it merely unintentionally but nevertheless it doesn't fail to have an effect on Major Lorne every time she moves a – often enough non-existing – stray strand behind her ear. She can see Major Lorne's eyes following the movement of Lieutenant Cadman's hands just a little too closely to be casual and coincidental.

Also the way Lieutenant Cadman ever so often does _not_ look at Major Lorne when he smiles or raises his eyebrows tells her the Lieutenant is not unaffected by the Major either. It's amazing, she thinks, that these two can still tell anyone – including themselves – convincingly that they are nothing more than fellow soldiers and don't want to be more, either.

But this seems to be typical of Earth people. On Athos – or well, in Athosian culture – when a woman likes a man and vice versa they make themselves known to the object of their desire as soon as they can, to see if their affections are reciprocated because in case they _are_… why should they wait with any longer than they have to? Life in the Pegasus galaxy is short so wasting time is about the last thing its inhabitants can afford.

Earth people though… they dance around each other, give each other ever so subtle signals; purposefully ignore them, sometimes for an excruciatingly long period of time. She has no idea _why_ they do it but maybe it has to do something with being used to having so much more time to form attachments, make life-changing decisions… and having all kinds of strange taboos that sometimes make sense and often enough do not.

In theory she understands why Major Lorne and Lieutenant Cadman have obviously chosen to ignore the attraction between them because John did explain the concept of non-fraternization regulations to her after she had overheard Sergeant Eliza Cunnings talk to one of the new technicians about "having the hots" for "one of those hunky new Lieutenants" but thinking following through with it was not "worth all the hassle with the regs" and had asked him about it. So from a certain point of view, Lieutenant Cadman and Major Lorne just don't have a _choice_ about acting on the attraction.

However… she isn't sure if doing the lawful thing is always the _right_ thing. After all that she has learned about Earth flirting rituals and the ways Earth people express themselves when they like someone… Lieutenant Cadman and Major Lorne are on their way to becoming "head over heels" for each other. She just fails to see why it should be better for them to try and hide it from the world, each other and most importantly from themselves than to openly admit it.

Secrets come out eventually anyway and… "Teyla?" She looks up to find Lieutenant Cadman and Major Lorne looking at her. "We're almost there. You seemed a little… zoned out. Everything okay?"

She smiles apologetically at Lieutenant Cadman. "Yes. I was just… oh, never mind." The Lieutenant just shrugs and takes a step aside to let her lead the team into the settlement but she can see that Lieutenant Cadman and Major Lorne exchange a short confused look. A little amused she wonders what they would say if they knew what exactly she'd been thinking about. But yes, it would be better to focus on the present now so she walks up to the village and greets her fellow Athosians.

After they have all exchanged greetings and well-wishes, they are led towards the main square in the middle of the settlement. It's a sunny day that promises to become warm and so the welcome breakfast is held out in the open. She watches her two companions again and is surprised to detect a certain shyness in Lieutenant Cadman as she settles down among the Athosians, even though the Lieutenant does her best to hide it.

She is also surprised to see that Major Lorne seems to have noticed the Lieutenant's slight discomfort and does his best to distract her with a little more banter. And yes, after a few minutes she relaxes visibly in his presence and can enjoy a lively breakfast with the people of the settlement.

The interaction between Lieutenant and Major is slowly starting to give her headaches because it's so painfully obvious that they are attracted to each other that she catches herself wondering when they will start stealing food from each other's plates or feeding each other bits of food at any moment.

Actually… Lieutenant Cadman just looked like she was about doing exactly that before remembering her and Major Lorne's positions. It's this moment when she decides that something needs to be done. Nothing drastic, though, because she isn't really keen on having to explain to John why two of his officers have gotten themselves in conflict with the law on a very simple mission with her. Just… a little push towards each other, that's all these two need. She clears her throat.

"Say… Adeena…" The young woman in question lifts her head and she hopes this will really get where she intends it to. "I hear that Daban has given his blessing?" At this Adeena blushes heavily… and Major Lorne and Lieutenant Cadman throw each other little amused grins. Just you wait, she thinks, but keeps her outward interest fully on Adeena.

"Yes, he has. We are… overjoyed." Of course she is really glad for Adeena and Teron but today she is also glad that out of a very lucky coincidence they can serve to illustrate a pressing matter to another couple where both are, as the Earth people say, "playing hard to get".

"You deserve to be. It took enough time. My congratulations." As she had hoped, Major Lorne and Lieutenant Cadman have both realized very fast what this is about so they both join in the congratulations and Adeena blushes even more.

She is about to ask Adeena if it really took them all of two New Athos months – if she is right, a little more than four Earth months – from becoming interested in each other to getting betrothed but Lieutenant Cadman does her a favor and says, "Hope you don't mind me asking… but how long _did_ it take you two to become enga… betrothed?"

At first Major Lorne frowns at the Lieutenant's inquisitiveness but when Adeena doesn't give him cause to believe that she is irritated he relaxes a bit. "About two months. That is, New Athos months." Both officers look like they are doing quick calculations in their heads but the expected surprise… doesn't appear on their faces. Well… maybe they need another little push.

She turns towards Laura and says with a smile, "That is two months from becoming interested in each other to becoming betrothed." _Now_ she sees the expected sentiment clearly on the Lieutenant's face… and a little less prominent on Major Lorne's face, as well. And here she had thought that practically nothing could faze John's second in command.

Lieutenant Cadman clears her throat. "Wow. That's… um… uh… pretty fast." This confuses Adeena a little and she is about to explain to her about Earth people and the sometimes unbearably long periods of time they need to commit themselves to their significant others.

But Major Lorne is faster than her and tells the Lieutenant, "Actually, it's not. By Athosian standards, I mean. Right, Teyla?" She simply nods and because Lieutenant Cadman doesn't look convinced, he adds, "It's got something to do with the Wraith threat, if I remember it right. People… they don't have time for the whole dating circus here."

Now understanding dawns on Lieutenant Cadman's face. "Oh… oh, I see. Well, then… congratulations, Adeena." She smiles at Adeena and the young woman smiles back a little shyly.

"Thank you." For a moment it looks like the topic is finished with this but then Adeena does her an unexpected favor and adds, in the direction of Lieutenant Cadman, "I hope you do not mind me asking but… what is the usual period of time on Earth for a betrothal?"

This catches both the Lieutenant and the Major unaware as she can see in their slightly clueless and surprised faces. They look at each other and the Major gives Lieutenant Cadman only the slightest non-verbal indication that he expects her to answer this since Adeena addressed _her_. And did she just imagine it or did Lieutenant Cadman express a certain amount of displeasure at this… otherwise known as grimacing.

However, she does what politeness dictates and answers, "Well, uh… that… depends. On culture and tradition and nationality and all that."

Adeena does not seem very satisfied by this answer but before she can intervene and explain a few of the things the Lieutenant just named, she asks, "Can you give me an example, please?" The Lieutenant shrugs her shoulders in agreement and Adeena continues, "How long did it take _you_ two to become betrothed?" Oh… oh _that_ is not what she had intended when starting this conversation.

And judging from the looks on Major Lorne's and Lieutenant Cadman's faces – Rodney would call them "priceless" and they would have made his day – she better stop where it is headed before Adeena unwittingly complicates the relationship between Major Lorne and Lieutenant Cadman to the degree that it will take much more than just a little push to make them realize what is going on between them and act on it accordingly. She clears her throat. "I am sorry, Adeena. We will have to continue this conversation some other time because for today, our visiting time is up. We really have to get back to Atlantis."

At first, both the Major and the Lieutenant throw her a wary look, since they both clearly know that John gave them at least two more hours here but when they realize that she just saved them from a possibly embarrassing situation, they seem relieved and a little thankful. Adeena, on the other hand, does look a little disappointed but she has decided to explain everything to her the next time she comes to New Athos and she is sure that Adeena will understand then. She also does not intend to let Major Lorne and Lieutenant Cadman dance around each other until the next visit to her people anyway.

So in the end Adeena concedes and they take their leave. On the walk back to the Stargate, both Major Lorne and Lieutenant Cadman are uncharacteristically quiet but she is sure that she caught them sneaking a few secret looks at the other when they thought he or she wouldn't notice.

Of course this is nothing new but these looks… they have a new quality to them. Before, they were mostly telling her that the Major and the Lieutenant simply liked to watch the other because they found them aesthetically pleasing but now… it feels as if they… are _considering_ something.

Could it be that… Adeena _had_ been helpful after all, she wonders when they step through the Stargate and all the way back to the locker room. Still Major Lorne and Lieutenant Cadman don't talk much… until they are all done and the Lieutenant is about to leave the room, that is. "Well… that was nice, huh?" Major Lorne only raises his eyebrows, as if he were about to ask her if she had been in the same conversation that he had and she adds, "The food was nice, anyway. So, uh… I… have some… _stuff_ to do and uh…" When the Lieutenant realizes that she is stuttering, she clears her throat and for some reason… she is really, really curious about what will come next. "But I'm still free for lunch. Anyone care to join me? Seeing as we should make the best of the time we have and all that…"

The last sentence is accompanied by a wink and… a pointed look in the direction of Major Lorne. Who… suddenly exhibits signs of a faint blush on his cheeks. _That_ certainly is something new and so she holds back, eager to observe this new development. Of course she would love to give him a push – this time a _real_ one – but then her part in this would become much more obvious and she really prefers staying on the sidelines in this. Thankfully, he finally manages to clear his throat and says, "I think I could manage, Lieutenant. 1300 in the mess hall?"

Lieutenant Cadman simply smiles – looking just a little bit smug – and replies, "Sounds good. Teyla?"

"Oh… I think I have to pass. Some of the female zoologists asked me if I could give them self-defense lessons… I am sorry. Maybe another time?" This is stretching the truth just a little… but she has this feeling that it would help her cause much more if she stayed away this time.

Lieutenant Cadman simply shrugs her shoulders and takes her leave. When the Lieutenant is gone… she can't help smirking at Major Lorne and saying, "See, that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"Whatever do you… Teyla?" Oh… oh, it seems like Major Lorne realized what part she just played at the breakfast, or at least part of that and decides that now is really a good time to go, seeing as she has finished changing anyway.

So she decides to put on her enigmatic smile – the one that always serves so well to confuse John and lead him off-track – and says, "I am sure you can figure _that_ out on your own. After all, you are this city's military second in command and a very sharp soldier."

She gives herself one last moment to enjoy his slightly disturbed, shocked and really confused face and then simply bids him goodbye and leaves the room, confident that she did manage to speed up a few things considerably. Now, how to prepare John for having to deal with two of his officers violating regulations because it was the right thing to do…

* * *

"Oh Aurelie, love takes time in Germany  
Here people need days to get ready for the first step  
The next weeks there's only talk  
Thoroughly getting to know each other  
And only then you see each other somewhere alone."

Wir sind Helden, "Aurelie"


	90. 018 Black

**A/N: **And now for something completely different... Anyone remember the verse from the "Family" prompt? This is how Laura got to Evan's place in the first place. Because **mac** is an evil whip cracking beta who is very creative in finding new ways to torture her author, she made me write this from a quite... challenging perspective. So how did I do?

Also, on the writing front... I just finished writing the 99th Fanfic100 prompt. No really, I did. Seriously. There's exactly _one_ prompt to go and then I'm _done_. Eeep!

* * *

Prompt: 018 Black

**Never goin' back**

"_Positively never goin' back  
I won't live where things are so out of whack  
No more rollin' with the punches  
No more usin' or abusin'_

_I'd rather die standing  
Than live on my knees  
Begging please--no more."_

_Shania Twain, "Black Eyes, Blue Tears"_

They're fighting again and he wants to sleep. Mommy told him to, like she always does. But it's so hard to fall asleep when they are shouting out there. Shouting and… oh no, there was one of these horrible _crashes_ again. He knows he should stay in bed but the crashing always frightens him so much. Scared he looks at the door and then puts the blanket over his head, curling up into a tight little ball with his hands on his ears so he doesn't have to hear it anymore.

He's still lying like this, half-asleep now, when he suddenly feels someone gently pulling the blanket back. There's also a hand on his shoulder rubbing it softly and then wandering down to his hand on his ears. When the hand tries to loosen his fingers he's confused and irritated that it's so impatient and so he tries to resist it. All he wants is to sleep. Can't they see that?

But he's only four and can only do so much against a grown-up's hand so in the end he loses his battle and then he hears his mother whisper, "Baby? Marcus? Come on wake up, honey."

Wake up? But it's still _dark_ outside. He was told to _sleep_ when it's dark outside. "Marcus?" The tone in mommy's voice… she hasn't ever spoken to him like this before. It almost sounds like she's… afraid of something but that doesn't make any sense. His mommy is never afraid of _anything_. "Darling, I'm really sorry to wake you up… but we don't have _time_."

With that, she turns him around and the grip of her hand around his shoulder isn't gentle anymore. It doesn't _hurt_ but… for some reason it scares him. It also scares him when he sees his mommy's face. In the half-dark of his bedroom, with the sparse light from the hall's light from outside… she looks so… _different_. There's something in her face that makes it look ugly and scary… he can't help but whimper a little and recoil.

"I know, baby, I know." Now there's something else in his mommy's voice. It sounds like _his_ voice sounds when he's about to cry and doesn't want to. "I'm sorry." Sorry for what? But before he can say something, she engulfs him in her arms and picks him up, whispering again "I'm so sorry." Then she gets up with him in one arm, picks up a bag with the other hand and hurries out of the house.

Outside it's cold and automatically, he huddles closer to his mother. But she doesn't stop to wrap him up in warm clothes as usual but just gives him a short peck on the head and then puts him in his child car seat beside Andrew who looks like he's sleeping. After giving him another kiss, she hurries to get into the drivers' seat and before he knows it, they are driving away from their house. It's all so confusing and… where's daddy? _Where's daddy_? "Mommy?" She doesn't answer him, just stares out of the windshield so he does what he always does: ask a little louder. "Mommy?"

She jerks a little and half turns around. "What is it, honey?"

It's completely dark outside but the sparse light that is in the car makes her face look a little scary and it doesn't help much that she just rubbed her hand over her eyes like he does when he's crying and that her voice sounded so strange… like she had something in her throat that made it hard for her to speak. He knows he shouldn't do it but he puts his fist in his mouth before he says, "Where's daddy?"

Mommy doesn't look at him when she answers him, "He's… he's still at home. Do mommy a favor, baby?" He doesn't know what to say to this but he doesn't have to since his mommy just continues, "Sleep a little. When you wake up, I'll get you pancakes. How does that sound, huh?"

Usually, he'd be all for pancakes but this time… he _knows_ something isn't right. "I want daddy." He said it with a little more force, forgetting that Andrew is sleeping beside him.

For a while, mommy doesn't answer, just keeps looking straight ahead. Then lights from a car coming towards them lights up her face and it looks… wet. But his mommy isn't crying. She _never_ cries because she always says that Marines don't cry. They're brave and they grit their teeth and that gets them through everything. Then, when she had rubbed her eyes a few times, wincing when she hits the one that looks so ugly, she says, "I know. I… I understand that, honey. But… it's not… it's just not… go to sleep, please."

This isn't fair. Mommy _always_ tells them to be honest and he can hear _very_ clearly that right now _she_ is not honest. There's something she isn't telling him and he… it makes him upset. "Don't wanna sleep. I want _daddy_. I want _back_." For a moment, mommy doesn't say anything and she looks… not happy. He can't see much of her face but what he sees is… scary again. It doesn't keep him from adding another, "Back, back, back!" though.

But instead of making mommy turn around it wakes Andrew up. Immediately, his little brother starts crying and now he can't hold it in himself anymore. All the fear and the confusion and the tiredness finally make him crack and he joins Andrew. He doesn't want to but it just… happens.

Abruptly, the car stops. It happened so suddenly that it managed to shut both Andrew and him up. Then mommy gets out of the car and pulls his door open. He's so afraid that mommy will shout at him now, like he had heard her shout at daddy so many times or that she will raise her hand like daddy did once or twice before she pulled or pushed him out of daddy's way and she really looks angry and now…

Now she takes a deep breath and runs her hand through her hair and there's wetness on her face again but it's from the rain so it doesn't confuse him. At least _that_ doesn't confuse him. She unclips his safety belts and awkwardly hugs him. Then she grips him by his shoulders and looks him in the eye… and somehow that makes him feel so… grown-up. "Marcus… you're a big boy, aren't you?"

Mutely, he nods. Of course he is. "You're… you're mommy's big boy, right?" He nods again and she gently runs her hand through his hair. "Okay, so… try to understand what I'll tell you now, okay?" Again a nod. "See… mommy and daddy… aren't really happy anymore. We… we have some problems and… and we need to give daddy a little time for himself. So we'll… we will… we will go somewhere…"

_Where_, he wants to ask but can only look with big eyes at her because it seems like his mommy is confused herself now. He wants to help mommy so he swallows and tries very feebly, "Grandma and granddad?"

For a second he's afraid she will be angry at him again for interrupting her but she just smiles and that smile even makes the black ring around her eye look less frightening and ugly. But then… then her face gets so sad, even though she tries to keep smiling and says, "No, honey. I'm sorry but… we shouldn't bother them too much." He can see somehow that this is not _really_ the reason why they won't visit mommy's or daddy's parents but now his mommy looks so sad and the last thing he wants to do is make her even sadder.

But he still wants to know where _else_ they will go. "Where, mommy?"

She runs a hand through her hair again and puts a strand behind her ear. By now, she's soaked through and he wants her to go back into the car because mommy always says that staying out in the rain too long will make you sick and he doesn't want his mommy to get sick. She keeps quite another moment, looking like she's searching for something… and then her eyes seem to lighten up and she tells him, "To an old friend of mommy's."

That sounds strange. Aren't all of mommy's and daddy's friends here on the island? "Friend?"

She smiles again and strokes his hair. "Yeah, a friend. His name is Evan. You're gonna like him." He has never heard of a friend called Evan before and scrunches his nose in confusion. His mommy, though, just smiles again and gives him a peck on the nose and reaches around him to take Andrew's hand and squeeze it for a short moment.

After that she finally gets back into the car and while she starts it again, she says, "I promise, you'll like him. He flies big planes. Or well, used to. Anyway, how about you just get to sleep and when you wake up there will be pancakes, like I said." She's talking so fast now and cheerfully and it doesn't sound _real_ but everything is better than shouting or crying… and he does start to feel drowsy, with the car moving and the warmth inside and the rain pounding on the windows.

Also… he doesn't want to think about all of this – why they left his daddy behind, what that black ring around his mommy's eyes is, why they are going to visit a friend of his mother they've never heard of before in the middle of the night – anymore so he closes his eyes… and has fallen asleep even before they can cross the big bridge over the sea, not yet realizing that they just drove off into a new life.


	91. 069 Thunder

**A/N:** A while ago, **mac** and I decided to take make a series of already existing one-shots. Those would be (in current reading order): "Beginnings" and "Ends". This story here will be a part of that series, as well. It takes place after "Beginnings" and there will be one more. And it's part of a new challenge I started by the name 10_ocs (more on that if anyone asks). Also, it sparked a major controversity between mac and I and we decided to let you be the referees. Is this really jumper smut, people (not as in "sex in a jumper" smut, more as in... no idea what because _I_ don't think it's smut!) or not?

BTW... yesterday, I wrote my last Fanfic100 piece. No really, I did. Seriously. Honestly.

* * *

Prompt: 069 Thunder

**Make me laugh**

"_You make me laugh  
You make me cry  
You make me roll around the floor  
Until I die  
God only knows  
The reason why  
You make me laugh."_

_Lauren Christy, "You make me laugh"_

"Mh. I really thought it would be bigger." Oh… that is a new voice. Or at least it's not yet in her data storage so she activates a few more sensors to get its full scope.

"Wha… Lieutenant!" Yes, her sensors have registered _that_ voice before. It's one of the new Gifted Ones, as they had called the descendants of their creators when they had first come to the city and woken them from their thousands of years of sleep, only later learning that they call themselves "humans". Her sensors had registered him before although never so close. Since the first time she did… she'd been secretly plotting the probability that he would chose _her_ as his first ever jumper.

However, the other voice – it's a female one, as her vocal analyzing routines have told her – simply answers, sounding… amused… that's what her sensors recognized, "No idea what _you_ thought but _I_ meant the _ship_."

"Yeah, Major, dirty little mind you've got there." Oh, and she knows _this_ voice. It's the one they call Sheppard. Does this mean… she does a few calculations and feels satisfied that the chances that the new one will take her have increased tenfold.

The reason for this is very simple. She knows that Sheppard is somehow in charge of some of the Gifted and the other humans and that he is making _all_ the Gifted fly – even those that aren't as talented as Sheppard. For example the one with the funny accent that is sometimes even too much for _her_ speech processors and whom they call Carson. The humans decided to call them "puddle jumpers" and even though they have a different name for themselves – positively unpronounceable for a human, Gifted or not – they simply started to adopt it.

"I do _not_ have a 'dirty little mind', sir." The voices are coming closer and her passive sensors finally pick up their bio signatures. They confirm what the audio sensors told her: Three humans, two male, one female – the males are both Gifted, the female is not, and one of the males is Sheppard.

"Yeah, right, whatever. Now, do you want to get it over with or not?" Get it over with _what_? Could it be that… Oh, she's a little surprised that her calculations were _that_ good because the one called Sheppard just opened her bay door and enters the cockpit, followed by the male Sheppard called Major and the female that was called Lieutenant – and now that she can pick up visuals, she uses Atlantis' databases to confirm her own identifications… yes, the two are Major Evan Lorne and Lieutenant Laura Cadman, both among those Sheppard is responsible for.

The males take places in the two front seats and the female behind the one called Lorne. Then Sheppard puts his hands on the controls and she feels the immediate link between him and her KI and can't wait to fulfill his command to shut the bay door and ascend the tower towards the sky of Lantea.

One of the humans – they call him McKay – likes to treat them like machines, tell them they aren't more than the sum of their mechanical parts… but she knows better because despite everything he thinks… she _does_ have those things the humans call "feelings" and right now giddy anticipation at what is hopefully to come is the predominant one. She always likes to get to know to new Gifted Ones and according to the data bases Lorne is almost as Gifted as Sheppard.

Ah, but how she likes being flown by Sheppard. His steady self-assurance and trust in himself – and _her_ – make it easy for her to be a compliant good little jumper, as McKay likes to call them when they 'behave themselves'. Then they are out of the jumper bay, flying away from the city and the more Atlantis and its influence over her get out of focus, the freer she is to analyze the two new passengers… only she has to be careful or Sheppard will notice that she's just a little distracted.

There is Lorne, of course, but she did some evaluation on him before… so she concentrates on Lieutenant Cadman, who is sitting behind him. According to the data base, she's beneath him in the hierarchy but she doesn't _look_ inferior – in fact, after piecing together the information on both her and Lorne and running them through comparison algorithms she comes to the conclusion that they are equals who balance out each other's weaknesses with their respective strengths, even if Cadman is missing the Gift. She, for her part, still seems to be what humans like to call amused but takes a lot of care to conceal it as well as she can.

"Well then, Major… your turn." Sheppard takes his hands away from the controls and part of his professional calm leaves her. Every time he does this… it makes her a little sad.

However, this time… she doesn't even have time to get used to this special form of loneliness because now suddenly Lorne puts his hands on the controls. Her audio sensors only register Cadman muttering, "Yeah, go Cardinal, sir!" and then… _boom_. _Something_ hits her with the force of the kind of thunder only Lantean thunderstorms can generate. Before she knows what she's doing she's… _shaking_ because of the intensity of a Gift almost as strong as Sheppard's and intimidation and annoyance hitting her.

She really doesn't want it but the shaking is still bad enough that her passengers nearly tumbled from their seats and she can hear the three of them cursing under their breaths. Well, more or less. The first one to say something more than just bits of foul language is Sheppard, "Geez, Major, what the hell did you _do_?"

"Yeah, I'd like to know _that_ as well," comes from Cadman who is furtively rubbing the knee that got hit during the shaking. Out of habit she does a quick scan and detects a rapidly forming bruise but the way Cadman tries to conceal the injury she knows hurts a lot from other humans tells her that it probably wouldn't be a wise move to tell the humans. Also… McKay would probably think she's malfunctioning again and start to dig around in her circuits and she _hates_ it when someone does that.

"Hey, _I_ didn't do _anything_. It was all the damn _jumper's_ fault." _What_? It was _not_! Or at least not intentionally. All that happened was that she had been overwhelmed by the sheer force of dislike he had communicated with every little piece of his mind. Usually, it's not a problem for her when Gifted Ones have problems with adapting to her at first because they don't have the means to communicate it so strongly. But this one… he has a natural ability to communicate with her, just like Sheppard, only he doesn't want it and therefore can't control it.

She wants to tell him that but she gets unexpected help… from Cadman. "Yeah, sure, sir. It's the _ship's_ fault." Luckily, she has already learned about the notion they call "sarcasm" from other jumpers who had to endure much more of McKay than her and additionally Cadman really doesn't look like she believes Lorne's protests. And Cadman does another thing that makes her like this human even though she isn't Gifted. She smirks and adds, "You know what _I_ think, sir? She didn't like your attitude."

"_Watch_ it, Cadman," Lorne growls but… she's surprised to detect something other than the malice he wants to project with his voice in the undertones and in his bearing. He isn't really furious at Cadman. Instead… he _likes_ the clearly irreverent tone. The signs are very, very subtle… too subtle for the unbelievably blind human eye and deaf human ear to pick them up but to her the smile tugging at the corner of his mouth and the underlying laughter in his voice are clear.

"No, actually… I think Cadman's right, Major." Ah, Sheppard. A while ago she had overheard one of the very few female Gifted telling a male non Gifted that he was her "knight in shining armor" in jest when he had helped her carry something heavy into her passenger compartment and because all these strange human expressions have caught her interest, she had asked – well, rather cajoled and begged – Atlantis to go and look it up in the vast treasures of data the humans brought with them to their new home. Today she probably found her own knight in shining armor.

Cadman for her part obviously likes the comment as well because the expression on her face is very similar to the one McKay wears when he admonishes one of his subordinates with "I _told_ you so." Similar to those subordinates, Lorne doesn't look happy and not very much inclined to try it another time and she isn't even sure if that isn't a _good_ thing. "I saw that, Cadman."

"What, sir?" This time, Cadman tries to appear harmless but then she smothers something with her hand, her shoulders are shaking almost invisibly… the corners of her mouth are tugging upwards relentlessly…

"Are you _laughing_, Lieutenant?" Lorne is trying to look stern and to everyone else he's probably doing a good job… but she did register the slight rise of body temperature in the area of his cheeks and the almost undetectable acceleration of his heart beat at seeing Cadman barely being able to contain the laughter. She compares this to the data she has on the human physique and it doesn't _quite_ correspond with the results she would get from him if he was _really_ furious at Cadman. Oh. This is starting to become interesting.

The Lieutenant clears her throat and then tries to school her features back to serious. "No, sir. There's no reason to laugh… right?"

"Okay, soldiers, that's really enough pigtail pulling for today. Let's get this orientation flight over with, right?" Despite his efforts to call his subordinates to order, Sheppard doesn't appear to be minding their antics very much. And he just gave her a new expression to ponder.

Lorne, however, still isn't inclined to get back to the controls and turns back to Sheppard, with something of an… evil grin? Would that be the right expression? Well, with something like that on his face, anyway. "Sure, sir… but not until the Lieutenant here tells me what's so funny about the jumper 'not liking my attitude', as she so nicely put it."

Now Cadman rolls her eyes but complies when Sheppard raises his eyebrows at her and says nonchalantly, "Isn't it obvious? This girl is actually able to withstand a flyboy's charm… and she told you very clearly what she thought of your attitude." Cadman had clearly tried to say it matter-of-factly but… recently she had found an entry on "flirting" while browsing through the human's databases in a short moment where Atlantis' attention had been elsewhere, and Cadman has just displayed astonishingly many little signs. Looking Lorne in the eyes, a little smile, her tongue very, very quickly darting out of her mouth to touch her lips…

To this, Lorne only gives her another of those evil grins – which does generate an amazing reaction from Cadman because her bio signs reader tells her that now the Lieutenant's cheeks are warming up to a considerable degree and her blood pressure is increasing for as long as he looks at her – and growls, "I'll give you 'able to withstand a flyboy's charm', Lieutenant." What…

Before he can put his hands on the controls again, it's Sheppard's turn to speak up again, although it's in a strangely suppressed tone… as if Sheppard also has difficulties holding his laughter back. "Just be gentle with her, huh."

Then the hands are on her controls again and for a short moment she feels the _thunder_ again… but it only lasts a small moment… then it's substituted by a reluctant opening of Lorne's mind. She wonders what could have caused this and goes through the sensor data of the last few seconds. When she finds the exact moment the thunder stopped, she sees Cadman putting a hand on Lorne's backrest and accidentally brushing his shoulder. _That_ is _most_ interesting and she silently thanks both Lorne and Cadman for giving her this interesting insight into human behavior.

After that little episode… being flown by Lorne starts to become much nicer than his first try had suggested. Sure there's still this wariness in the back of his mind, a little like an ever present distant thunder… but the longer his hands are on the controls, the more confident he starts to feel and the better he can control his ability to communicate with her… naturally and almost without her having to guide him.

It takes another few moments for Lorne to become self-assured enough to trust himself with flying her and speaking at the same time but then he quips, "By the way, sir… be gentle with _whom_?"

A sound that the humans call a snort escapes Cadman but Sheppard manages to keep his face straight when he answers, "I have _no_ idea what _you_ had in mind, Major, but _I_ meant the ship. And you _do_ have a dirty little mind." At this, the laughter Cadman could contain until now finally breaks through and rings through the cabin. Lorne's reaction it… it doesn't hit her like his disapproval but it's still… prominent enough that she is astounded by it. It doesn't only cause all the little signs she'd registered before but it also elevates his mood enough that the thunder of dislike is pushed in the background by the gentle and warm pitter-patter of joy.

For a moment she wishes… she wishes Cadman was Gifted as well so she could make her see what her laughter – now bubbling in short little gasps rather than the first eruption – does to Lorne so she could maybe _explain_ to her what this whole exchange between Sheppard and Lorne was actually _about_ since she has the feeling that it wouldn't be such a good idea to make _Sheppard_ see Lorne's reaction to something Cadman did.

And now… not even Lorne can hold back his pleasure anymore, only manages to contain it into little half-smiles while saying, "Just you wait until we get back to the city, Cadman, and into the work-out room."

For some reason that only makes her laugh harder… even wiping some tears from her eyes and between gasps she manages to say, "I take it you won't be _gentle_ then?" This is also Sheppard's undoing and although her previous data base studying doesn't give her _any_ clue as to what this and all the following quips and barbs could be about, she's still glad about it because it makes being flown by Lorne almost as pleasant as being flown by Sheppard.

And so she decides to take it for granted for now and wait with pondering it until she's back in Atlantis although she has the feeling that the city won't be very forthcoming with helping her research for _this_ exchange… and hope that Cadman will accompany Lorne whenever he decides to take _her_ as his jumper. The Lieutenant really seems to be the clue for Lorne opening up to her so easily and she really likes it when he does that.


	92. 049 Club

**A/N:** This one is also part of the same universe as "Beginnings", "Thunder" and "Ends" are and takes place over 20 years after "Ends" so you might want to reread it. Also, it's my second story for LJ's 10_ocs challenge, leaving me eight stories to go. Why is it that I developed this strange affinity to challenges anyway? Must ask **mac**... as my omnicient beta, she probably knows.

So, BTW, since I finished writing Fanfic100 (four pieces to go on the posting front because I put all the senses prompts into one story), I started to concentrate on PAS again and have _finally_ finished the overture to the next big piece (eight chapters... I start to wonder if I'm doing something wrong...). However, you'll have to wait until after New Year's Eve for those (and the missing chapters to "Minor Characters: Take Charge", as well) because mac decided to go on very, very, _**VERY**_ (and did I mention... very?) well deserved beta leave after finishing betaing the last Fanfic100 pieces. Hope you all don't mind because seriously: mac did a tremendous job all through the year. Last I can do is let her be in peace over the holidays ;)

* * *

Prompt: 049 Club

**Somewhere to start**

"_Up here is freedom  
From a world so blind  
We're disappearing from who we are  
We found a reason  
To work it out  
We found a clearing  
Somewhere to start."_

_Reamonn, "Open Skies"_

"Ready?" his father asks and he shrugs, trying to appear unfazed.

"Sure." Throwing him a wary look, his father simply nods and hits the puddle jumper's controls. Smoothly, the little ship sails out of the jumper bay into the wide open skies of New Lantea. Despite outwardly pretending to be not even a little bit in awe of this special moment, he can feel the tug of the jumper's KI… basically everywhere.

Ever since they came to this city almost 20 years ago, he has felt this tugging at his nerves. At first it had confused and frightened him – after all he'd been only five years old when they had left Earth more or less forever – and more than once he'd clashed with his parents, especially with his father, over their decision to leave their life on Earth behind.

To be honest… he had never quite understood what had made them come to this city – or, in their case, come _back_ – and especially during his teens it had been the cause of more than one serious quarrel with them… or rather, with his father. Somehow… he'd blamed him for everything that went wrong in his life. Or, well, everything he _thought_ went wrong in his life.

To him, back then, it had been his father's fault that he wasn't like all the others… that Atlantis was calling out to him, almost like a human being. Tugging at him, prying into his mind, beckoning him to use her full potential. He'd never talked to anyone about this – not even his mother, even though they had always shared a special bond – so he had no idea if he was the only one feeling like that or if others experienced it as well.

Also… there is this teeny tiny detail that his father is Brigadier General Evan Lorne, commanding officer of the Pegasus Military contingent, including three outposts and several battle ships and his mother is Dr. Laura Cadman-Lorne, retired Major of the USMC and head of research in Atlantis.

Granted, when he'd been in his teens, his parents had been much less high-ranking but being his parents' – _this_ parents' – only son… had always been a challenge. Looking out the front window, he resists a sigh. Compared to what's planned today… the last few years seem to be much easier than he always remembered them. Since two weeks ago he's back from four years at the Air Force Academy and since yesterday he's out of excuses for getting out of jumper lessons.

He still wishes his father would have acted like his usual self; meticulously – one could almost say anxiously – avoiding any suspicion of favoritism and letting someone else give him the lessons… Torren Emmagan, for example. But _no_, for some godforsaken totally unintelligible reason, his father had chosen to do this himself and there had been no way to convince him otherwise, not even through his mother. In fact… his mother had been one of the strongest advocates of this – in his mind totally inappropriate – scheme.

When he thinks about the fight he had with his mother about this… he has to resist much more than just a sigh. They had never fought much, unlike him and his father. His mother had once told him that their bond was probably the result of having spent the first two years of his life alone with her because his father had been absent. He'd once tried to find out why exactly but neither of his parents had been very forthcoming about it – but when he'd been a little older… he'd started to realize that whatever had happened… it was probably the reason why his father is the man he is today.

And ever since then… a lot more things had made sense. Why, for example, there had always been times when his usually placid and loving father had needed to close himself off, sometimes for days or when he had seemed a little distant, as if he either didn't want to or simply _couldn't_ let his son… or his wife get too close to him.

At first he'd been confused by it but when he had been older he'd been unable to understand why his mother had silently complied with it, so unlike her usual disposition and it had even made him mad at her and him. She still doesn't cut his father any slack in an argument, but when these episodes happened – and still happen – she'd simply let him withdraw and welcomed him back with a little kiss and a silent smile when he came out of it.

When he'd graduated from the Academy he'd had the faint hope his father might deem him grown-up enough that he could break that topic… but instead all his father had done when he had been back had been ordering him on jumper flying lessons and he had it made plain from the start that no one else apart from _him_ would be his instructor.

So now he's sitting in this damn jumper, only strained silence between his father and him, and the damn _thing_ getting on his nerves with its cajoling and pleading. It takes all his self-control and the strong will not to lose his nerves in front of his father – and _commanding officer_.

The distance between Atlantis and the jumper is growing, his father operating the controls with effortless ease… even kind of elegantly. They always told him his gene was as strong as his father's… but he seriously doubts he'll ever be as good at this as his father. For once, he's not a fighter pilot and he's pretty sure he will never get used to the way Atlantis "talks" to the gene owners… or him at least. He had about 15 years to get used to it and he just never did so he finds it pretty unlikely that he will do so in the future.

He _had_ tried to tell his father – without losing face and having to explain that Atlantis was pretty much getting on his nerves – but of course that had been futile. So when his father turns to him, with his hands away from the controls and his eyebrows raised expectantly, he knows there's no way he'll get out of this so he puts his hands on the controls.

Almost in the same moment that he touches them, he feels the jumper's presence that had been a gentle humming in the background until now, multiplying in strength and nearly forcing itself onto him. It's so strong that it throws him back in his seat and he feels hot shame welling up at obviously not fulfilling his father's expectations. So he doesn't even dare look at him… until he hears him say, "Yup, more or less like I reacted the first time."

That catches him off-guard so much that he can't help looking at his father to find him… smiling? What the hell…? He just proved to be a disappointment, didn't he? Son of a seasoned pilot, exceptional officer, experienced soldier… and he gets overwhelmed by a bucket of bolts and circuits? "Dad… I mean… sir…"

Further smiling. Huh. "Relax, it's really just us. You don't have to sir me _all_ the time." Yeah, well, he could have gotten that himself. After all, his father had never been the kind of military father that makes his son call him sir. In fact… well, sure his father had always expected him to give his best and _be_ the best but he had never put any real pressure on him. When he thinks back… his father might have had bad spells over the last years that somehow gave him the feeling it was _his_ fault that he wasn't easy to be with all the time but all in all… he'd always given his best.

He takes a deep breath. "Right. Sorry. I mean, for… for this. I should have…"

"Adrian, it's okay. Like I said, it's _exactly_ how _I_ reacted." At this he runs a hand through his hair… one of the gestures his mother tells him are almost exactly like his father's. He wants to say something but his father is faster. "Should have seen your mother. She couldn't stop laughing the whole trip." This is accompanied by a grin that seems to speak… volumes. Volumes of the relationship between his parents… of a side he has seen only very rarely, if anything at all. Lighter, more carefree… again he wonders what exactly happened that made his father vanish from his mother's life for a couple of years.

However… it will have to wait because first he needs to get it over with this whole jumper business. Oh well. "Dad… don't… get me wrong but… I'm just… I'm not you. I'm not… cut out for this whole gene thing."

That was a bold move and he knows that. He'd always had the feeling that his father – both his parents, actually – was proud that his son inherited the gene, and as strong as his at that. To tell him he doesn't feel comfortable with it… was almost like telling his father he doesn't love him. Which, despite everything, just isn't true.

Still, his father closes his face off and needs a moment to look at him again. "I know how you feel." He wants to interject but it only takes a second of his father's CO look and he's quiet. "Believe it or not, I never _wanted_ the gene either. I didn't want a _lot_ of things in my life but I learned to pick my battles. And the gene… you won't learn to live with it if you _fight_ it."

Well. If he's honest… he never saw it like that. His father not being comfortable with the gene and everything that came with it… it doesn't really fit into his world and in the picture he always had of Evan Lorne. He looks at the controls again… and he's not quite sure if he's imagining it but the moment he feels a tentative impulse to try it again, he feels the jumper's… _interest_ – there isn't really any other word for it – flare up again a little. But that only serves to make him abstain from the controls as far as he can. "Look, dad, really…"

Now his father takes a deep breath, almost looking… resigned. "Now listen, Adrian. Let me tell you something: There was something… something I forgot at a certain point in my life and that was… how to open up. It was… you and your mother who taught me again. Well, you and Atlantis. There was a _reason_ your mother and I decided to come back here." This… confession has him tongue-tied, for longer than just a moment. Basically… his father just told him something very, very personal about himself and he's at a momentary loss at how to cope with this.

Then, when he thinks it's safe to speak again… he doesn't. Instead, he takes another deep breath and puts his hands on the controls, this time at least semi-prepared for what's going to happen. And yeah, there's the onslaught again… and his first impulse is to close himself off, fight the demands and the prying and tugging. But then he forces himself to relax… open up… and suddenly… it's so easy. The jumper… it tells him what to do and it seems almost… proud at the progress he makes in maneuvering it and at the thrill he suddenly feels at flying this thing. It's not his beloved helicopter but it's… actually it's just different and equally fun.

When he masters a particularly difficult turn he can't help showing his pleasure by laughing a little and this makes him loosen up enough that he feels safe enough to divide his concentration between the jumper and his father and it… surprises him very much to see pride and pleasure in the bright grin his father is wearing. It says everything from "See, that wasn't so hard," to "I _knew_ you had it in you."

After a little more flying, though, he starts to feel a little exhausted and his father probably sensed that – or did the _jumper_ tell him? After having seen what this thing is capable of when you open up to it there's not much that he'd put behind it – and says, "Alright, I think… we can call it a day, huh?" He simply nods, still a little overwhelmed and takes his hands off the controls. Then his father does something surprising – _again_ – and gives him a clap on the back. "Welcome to the very exclusive club of natural talent at jumper flying. You deserve it."

Wow. This is… certainly not what he had expected when he'd reluctantly entered the jumper today and at first all he can do is give his father a shaky little smile. And then he gets an idea. He knows he should probably let it lie… but he feels like he deserves a little more than just being admitted to the jumper club and so he clears his throat and says, "Thanks, dad. This is… I know it's a big honor and everything." His father is still smiling at him. "But… can I… can I ask you something?"

For a moment he hopes his father is still too hyped up by everything that just happened but something in his bearing must have betrayed him and his father grows serious very fast again. However… after a moment of consideration, he says, "Yeah. I guess… it's overdue anyway." And then… his father starts telling him about what made him into the man he is today and that… makes him feel more honored than anything else could ever do.


	93. 045 Moon

**A/N:** On we go... Remember the 'verse from "Enemies", "Lovers," and "Diamond"? Good, because this is the fourth story for it. It takes place shortly before "Diamond" and was written because I realized I have lots of father/son stories but almost no mother/daughter stories and, as someone on LJ pointed out a while ago, mothers seem to be underrepresented in Sci-Fi in general. I probably should concentrate more on those stories in the future... anyway, hope you enjoy it.

And thanks to **mac** for betaing it. Mwahahahaha, you thought I would it forget this time, huh? :D

Oh, and expect a Christmas story I wrote for the first (hopefully annual) Lorne/Cadman Secret Santa over at LJ some time next week. And maybe a Minor Characters Christmas story in the new year (because mac won't finish betaing the rest of "Take Charge" in time (well deserved beta leave, remember?) and I won't finish writing the Christmas story in time *sighs) :S

* * *

Prompt: 045 Moon

**Friday night**

"_She won't have time for paintin' her nails or glamour magazine  
She'll have a four wheel drive pickup truck,  
A subscription to Field And Stream  
Torn up jeans and a baseball cap,  
With her head up under the hood  
But Friday night when she lets her hair down,  
She sure does clean up good  
All the guys will turn their heads."_

_Krista Marie, "Tomboy"_

Wait, what was that? Did she just hear a car door slam? And is that Hailey's voice? She strains to listen into the night, Evan sleeping peacefully beside her – why is it that _she_ woke up and _he_ can continue sleeping undisturbed, huh? – and she's suddenly wide awake when she hears a _guy_'s voice answering Hailey's laughter. Or, more precisely, the voice of a guy _she doesn't know_.

As far as she remembers… _that_ was not part of the plan. Or at least not of the plan Hailey told them in the few minutes between _finally_ emerging from the bathroom and rushing off to – supposedly – meet her friends in town. Because she suddenly remembers how Hailey had looked when hurrying past the living room, she decides to get up and meet her daughter downstairs. Something… smells fishy about this.

Careful so as not to disturb Evan she gets up and even contemplates closing the window so that the continued talking and giggling from outside won't wake him up. She just has this feeling that he would be much less unobtrusive in his reaction to Hailey being brought home by a man neither of them know… and of whom she also has never spoken before. _And_ who was _not_ on the agenda for tonight.

So she hastens down the stairs into the living room. If her calculations are correct, Hailey couldn't have yet seen that the light had been out. Quickly, she switches it on, plops down on the couch and grabs what she'd been reading before going to bed. Thankfully, it's one of those books that make it plausible that she couldn't go to bed before finishing it – Hailey _is_ smart enough to tell page-turners from torture books you just _pretend_ to read in a matter of moments. Also, thankfully, over the years she had been able to cultivate the art of looking totally unfazed even if she's just out of bed.

All of this benefits her now as Hailey tries to open the door quietly to basically sneak in… and _that_ is a telltale sign that the little good night scene outside was about more than just saying thank you to a friend for giving you a ride on their way home. Three… two… one… "Good evening, young lady."

The steps in the hall halt and the floor slightly creaks which tells her that Hailey just turned towards the living room door that is slightly ajar. She's pretty sure that her daughter had seen the shine of light and hoped to get past it without discovery. For a moment, nothing happens but then Hailey obviously came to the conclusion that pretending she hadn't heard her calling out would not look good on her as the door is opened and she steps in.

"Evening, mom and… uh… night, mom!" Yeah, right. No way she'll let her escape to her bed, now that she saw the astounding transformation her daughter went through a few hours earlier in full light.

So when Hailey turns around and is half away, she says using her best CO voice, "Cadet Third Class Hailey Lorne," her daughter comes to an abrupt halt and even winces at that, "you will turn around ASAP." Reluctantly, Hailey heeds her order and turns around slowly, now looking very contrite and not exactly happy about being ordered around by her _mother_. "Is there a specific reason you're trying to sneak in like a common thief at oh dark hundred?"

For a moment it looks like Hailey will answer with something like "With all due respect, that's none of your business, ma'am," but then she seems to have realized that it would get her nowhere so instead she says, "I just… didn't want to wake anyone up." She raises her eyebrow, hoping it'll still work on 18-year-old Hailey like it worked on _twelve_-year-old Hailey and… yep, it does. "Really, mom. I know you and dad had a long day and everything… honestly!"

Yeah, right, like she'd believe one word of that. Mainly… she doesn't believe it because _she_ had reacted like this every time _her_ parents had caught her trying to sneak into the house after a secret date. "Uh-huh. Sure." Hailey seems to relax a little, probably thinking she'll let her go. But not today. "So what's with the elaborate hairdo and the mini-skirt and… is that lipstick?"

She'd said it in a casual tone… but immediately, Hailey's face becomes bright red. So yes, she knows that her daughter is old enough to vote, a college freshman and a Cadet in her university's ROTC Wing but she's asking out of _curiosity_, not really to chastise her. This _really_ isn't like her usual tomboy self and Hailey _knows_ that judging by how she fiddles with the hem of her mini skirt and suddenly looks a little out of place in the clothes she usually laughs about on other girls… and in which she looked very confident and at ease just a moment ago. Huh.

"I… um… I just… mom, please, can I just go to bed?" Someone is trying to be _really_ evasive tonight… and forgot that evasive behavior _never_ served to satisfy her mother's curiosity.

"Of course. After you explain the mini skirt and the sneaking in. Come on… tell me his name, at least?" If possible, Hailey's face even grows redder. Yeah, that's what you get for trying to keep things like these from your omniscient parents. But at least now she understands what made _her_ mother stay up late when she was young and snuck out to meet guys her parents wouldn't have approved of.

Bravely, Hailey tries to save her dignity at least a little bit and says, "It's really not important, mom." Not important, her ass. If it wasn't important, Hailey wouldn't have gone out of her way to look anything but the girl she usually is – a spitfire that came home sporting a bruised knee more often than not when she was a kid and delighted her mother by expressing an avid interest in everything that goes boom from earliest childhood and her father by taking to his flying lessons faster than either Aaron or Zack – and that's what both intrigues and worries her.

The worry part also is what makes her become serious when replying, "Honestly, Leelee, I'm not asking you to harass you. I'm genuinely curious who got you to wear a mini skirt." She's about to add, "And who might be the guy your father would swear to disembowel if _he_ had been the one to catch you in the act," but refrains from it, having seen that Hailey knows full well how _Evan_ would have reacted to this.

Hailey and her father love each other fiercely – he's _still_ bursting with pride whenever someone asks how Hailey's doing and he can tell them that she chose USAF ROTC and is top of her class of Cadets Third Class _and_ in almost all her classes at college and _she_ would never do anything to hurt her father. Which is why she's interested in knowing first hand if this really has the potential to threaten this father-daughter relationship, as she's starting to fear.

Hailey, finally having seen that she has no chance but to be honest, sighs, takes off her high heels and gingerly walks over to the couch to sit down beside her. She sighs another time and then… smiles at her, a little guiltily and says, "Alexander. His name's Alexander Weston." There's more to it so she gestures for Hailey to go on and almost as if she'd been secretly waiting to _tell_ someone, she continues, "He's… mom, don't go ballistic on me now, okay?"

"He's _not_ a junkie or a john or something like that, right?" Oops. That wasn't supposed to come out so fast but what else did her daughter expect with an opening like that, huh?

"God, _no_. Mom!" She wants to point out to Hailey that asking her not to go ballistic didn't exactly help her case but her daughter seems to have seen that herself now, anyway. "It's just that he's… a yearling at West Point." A… what? And… _West Point_? "A Third Class Cadet, mom." Oh, someone feels smug that she knows more than her retired USMC Lieutenant Colonel mother.

And someone will probably have a tough time convincing her father she wasn't abducted by aliens and replaced with a clone or maybe a copy from another universe. She suppresses a sigh and says, smirking, "Good luck explaining _that_ to your father."

Hailey bites her lip, a motion that usually works fine on _Evan_ and a little less successfully on her… and most of all it tells her that her daughter is about to ask something of her she most probably does _not_ want to do. "Um, you know… now that you… I was kinda… I thought… _you_ could tell him maybe?"

Yeah, right, uh-huh, sure. Except… no. _This_ is a mess Hailey has to get out of herself. "I don't think so, Cadet Lorne. He's _your_ boyfriend."

"No, he's _not_." Gee, reverting back to schoolgirl, much? "My boyfriend, I mean." Ah, yeah, sure. That's why they took so long to say good night. "Well… not _yet_, anyway." Oh… could the blushing and the purposefully dismissive tone mean that Hailey… her little girl… that she's in _love_ for the first time?

She takes another look at Hailey, sees the likeness to both herself and Evan, sees the little girl who wasn't quite as planned as her two brothers but never any less welcome – in fact, even before she was actually pregnant with Hailey she'd been wishing for a little girl deep down – and who seems to have grown into an independent young woman in the blink of an eye. An independent young woman now very obviously in love. Oh well. "Okay. Let's make a deal, huh?"

Hailey perks up a little and now she looks somehow like Evan when he heard or saw something that he _really_ likes. "Sure, mom."

"_You_ tell your father…" Hailey's face falls and that does cut a little into her heart, "but I'll be there when you do it." Of course Evan would _never_ do anything to Hailey but… he's also his father's son and Lorne men… they are all about tradition. _Theoretically_ he should have learned everything about the consequences of being narrow-minded and stubborn from those two years so long ago when he didn't speak to his father – he never said anything about it but she just _knew_ he suffered – but yeah… he's still a Lorne from head to toe.

However, Hailey… doesn't look too happy about her suggestion. Yeah, well, she probably wouldn't either if she didn't know the complicated history that surrounds Evan and her and Evan's father. "Mom can't you… I mean…"

Mh. Obviously, her daughter's instincts are pretty good _and_ it must be pretty important for her because otherwise she can't explain the sudden timidity. So she becomes a little more sternly. "Hailey… this thing between Alexander and you… could it become something serious?"

Biting her lip again, Hailey takes a little time to answer but in the end says, smiling, "Yeah. He's just… this is _different_, mom." Yeah, she could see _that_.

Trying very hard not to smirk, she replies, "Which is _exactly_ why _you_ have to tell your dad. And I promise I'll be there to keep him from going completely nuts." Hailey wants to stage another wave of protesting but then it seems to register with her what she just told her and she takes a rare moment to think first and act later.

Then she finally grins and says, "Thanks, mom. And… um… I'll get to bed now, huh?"

Now she does sigh. "Yeah. Night, Leelee."

Hailey leans over to her and gives her a kiss on the cheek, wishes her a good night and almost _skips_ up to her room. Smiling and shaking her head – had she really been that young herself? – she gets up and makes her way back into the bedroom. When she slips between the covers, Evan stirs slightly and she curls up against him. "Our little girl's in love," she whispers against his chest and kisses it before she adds, "Know what that means? We're getting old, Colonel."

To her surprise… he whispers back sleepily, "As long as we're getting old _together_… I'm fine with it." Then he tightens his arms around her, gives her kiss on top of her head and she has the feeling that however pissed he'll probably be about Hailey dating a grunt, things will even out in the end. They always did… even though sometimes she had to threaten him with throwing him out of the bedroom. So grinning at this last thought… she finally drifts off to sleep.


	94. 017 Brown

**A/N:** So, remember the "Strange Bedfellows"-verse from "Birth" and "Purple"? This is a prequel to it (and I'm sure **Elizabeth_Bartlett **will like it since she expressed the wish to read about a certain mission mentioned in "Purple") and I hope you like it. **Mac** assured me that it was fine but I'm a little doubtful because the whole story feels a little... off. What do you think?

Also, this is the fault of my friend **koboldmaki** who gave me the prompt "You can never have too many cormorans." _ages_ ago and I was resolved to write her a story for it.

* * *

Prompt: 017 Brown

**Potato, potahto**

"_You say either and I say either, You say neither and I say neither  
Either, either Neither, neither, Let's call the whole thing off._

_You like potato and I like potahto, You like tomato and I like tomahto  
Potato, potahto, Tomato, tomahto, Let's call the whole thing off."_

_Louis Armstrong, "Let's Call The Whole Thing Off"_

Well, there's one thing that really can be said about being on Major Lorne's team: It certainly never gets boring. Just today for example… the mission was supposed to be an easy meet and greet with the locals of M4E-whatever but it started off very… interesting.

Dr. Marinus van de Groeten, their Dutch anthropologist, was pulled off the mission practically in the last minute because his blood test results obviously looked funky or something and they were left with no one for replacement. Until Colonel Sheppard had come up with a _very_ bold choice. After throwing a look around the Gate room he'd simply shrugged and drawled "Just take Rodney," and for him that had settled the matter.

Major Lorne and Lieutenant Cadman hadn't been _that_ enthusiastic about this suggestion but Dr. McKay had certainly taken the cake with his reaction. At first he'd pretended he hadn't heard it, then his jaw had… dropped and in the end he had simply been able to choke out, "Seriously?"

At that point both Lorne and Cadman had had quite a hard time keeping from snorting and laughing – she would have had, too, but she had a reputation to uphold – and Sheppard had obviously been in a cruel mood because he had grinned and said, "No, I was joking." In the dramatic pause, McKay had immediately looked relieved only to be kind of crushed when the Colonel had added, "Yes, of _course_ seriously." At that McKay had uttered an insult worthy of her drill instructors at boot camp but Sheppard had shown McKay who was the boss in times when Mr. Woolsey was in the city, given him a stern look and said, "Lorne, Cadman and Mehra are one scientist short, the mission is scheduled, you are available, you'll be fine. Now stop whining and get the hell geared up."

She had fully expected McKay to throw a tantrum at that but astoundingly he had gritted his teeth, gotten his act together and trudged through the 'gate along side them. On the way to the settlement Lorne and Cadman had shown why soldiers and scientists alike feared them when they were together and had given McKay a tough time. Certainly deserved but she was still surprised at how well he had been able to hold his own against them… something even _she_ sometimes had difficulties with.

This time, however, she had taken care to stay out of it most of the time, instead opting for listening and observing and gathering evidence for backing up the bet she placed in the pool regarding the question of how long it will take Lorne and Cadman to hop into bed with each other. Most of the other Marines put their money on something between two weeks and three months but she opted for at least a year, maybe never; wondering time and again what made the rest misjudge both officers' brains so gravely. They're just too smart to risk their careers for something like that.

Anyway, in the end they had arrived at the settlement… which was when the _real_ fun began. Usually, van der Groeten handled all the greetings and introductions and that had indeed saved their butts more often than they all liked to admit. Since he'd been incapacitated for this mission, they had agreed on Lorne handling all the formal stuff but unfortunately… the woman in the lead had addressed Cadman immediately. She's still not quite sure if she really heard McKay mumble "Not _another_ Amazon tribe," at seeing that their welcome party had consisted nearly completely of women of all ages; half of them dressed as warriors and the other half in very formal civilian attire.

Then, a little flustered Cadman had tried to indicate that Major Lorne was the one in charge not her, frantically pointing to him and trying to make his status clear to the villagers. That had been necessary because of course of all the off-world teams theirs was always the _only_ one getting missions to those few tribes who do _not_ understand English or just any other Earth language. At first the leading woman had looked like she had understood, turned to Major Lorne and… given him a _very_ thorough sizing up.

That had caused Cadman to mumble a little disturbed, "Uh… I have the feeling that she's taking a rather strange interest in you, sir."

Lorne had wanted to answer something but had hesitated because the woman had started to circle him and that had seemed to be just a little distracting. So instead McKay had seized his opportunity to get a stab at Cadman and had replied, "Gee, jealous much, Lieutenant?" The only reason she had been able to hold back a snort or even a grin at that had been the look of scathing evil Cadman had sent McKay over the village woman's shoulder. Not even she is brave – or stupid – enough to get on Cadman's bad side when she's wearing _that_ look.

After that things had kinda deteriorated because instead of starting to talk to Lorne… the woman had beamed at Cadman, bumped her fist against the Lieutenant's one and had motioned for Lorne to follow her in a rather demanding way. That had been the moment where it had dawned on all of them what exactly had just happened and she had taken it upon herself to be the one actually saying it out loud, "Uh… not to be a prophet of doom or something, ma'am, but… I think you just sold our CO."

Everyone had turned around first to her, a little flabbergasted at her blunt summary of the situation and then Cadman had turned around to the woman again, almost frantically trying to tell her that this was all a mistake and that Major Lorne was most certainly _not_ for sale. Lorne for his part had wisely stayed out of this, having realized pretty fast that 'wares' don't talk. That hadn't kept him from throwing Cadman some pretty dark looks, though.

Since she knew Cadman would tell her if she needed her help, she stayed out of it as well, not fully able to hold back a smirk now and then… and then suddenly she had looked at McKay and had seen the same smirk mirrored on his face. That had surprised _both_ of them enough that they had avoided looking at each other altogether for the rest of the exchange.

In the end, Cadman hadn't been able to make it clear to them Atlantis usually did _not_ sell their men in exchange for whatever their trading partners had to offer _but_ she could work out a deal to buy Major Lorne back. Apparently, the village had planned a feast and had been short on hunters and the women had recognized their P90s for their worth in slaughtering animals. So they had come to the agreement that they would get the locals what they needed for their feast and they in turn had – hopefully – agreed to let the Major go.

Which is why they are now wading through knee-deep mud. In front of her Cadman follows their guide with a stoic determination on her face that she always has when she sets her mind to something. Behind her is McKay, now and then muttering about the space mosquitoes that keep soaring around them even despite the nearly freezing temperatures that will surely eat them up or do something worse like turn them into zombies or something.

She's just a little tempted to turn around, shove her P90 into his face and make him shut the hell up – she has this feeling that it wouldn't even get her in trouble with either Lieutenant Cadman or Major Lorne – but just in that moment, their guide rises her hand and motions them to crouch down and be quiet. Just great. Now not only their feet and calves are immersed in mud but their legs on the whole and even parts of their lower body. It doesn't help that the mud is only slightly warmer than the air.

With her hand the guide gestures shortly towards a group of creatures that look like black birds with long beaks – possibly cormorans, her bird-watching crazy uncle would have said – that are visible through the waving branches of reed. Uh-huh. Obviously they're supposed to get some of those beasts for the feast. Judging by the fingers the guide holds up… _ten_?

At that, she exchanges a look with Cadman and they both grimace. Argh. McKay must have seen this and promptly comments in a not exactly quiet voice, "What, are you two super soldiers out of ideas already?"

This time, the scathing look comes from both of them but McKay doesn't do them the favor of budging. Huh. It's Cadman who answers him in the end, keeping her voice as low as possible but not able to keep the impatient edge out of it, "This is sharpshooter work, Rodney. And as you might have noticed, the P90 is _not_ what I'd call a sharpshooter's dream."

"Aren't bombs more of your specialty, anyway?" McKay replies, with that sneer on his face ignoring all three of them – Cadman, herself and their guide – glaring at him because he just won't lower his voice.

But instead of giving something equally sarcastic back, Cadman's face suddenly lights up… and she gets that slightly maniacal glint in her eyes that indicates imminent use of C4. Oh goody, she thinks kind of pleased; at least she gets to watch something nice today. "That's it, Rodney. You're a genius!"

A little taken aback, McKay stutters, "I am?" before realizing what he just said and adding a little indignantly, "Of course I am. That's why Sheppard sent me along with you." No… not exactly, she's about to say but a warning glance from Cadman keeps her from doing it. Cadman has some idea involving a little detonating and is itching to try it out. Somehow… she's glad Major Lorne isn't here because if there's one thing he still isn't quite comfortable with after three months of having Cadman on his team it's her explosion-happiness.

For example, it's powerful enough to keep her even focused enough to ignore McKay being a pompous ass – although… that little hesitation and moment of insecurity somehow told her it's probably all just for show and that surprises her – and simply says, "Get over yourself, McKay. I want to do this dynamite fishing style and I need someone to check my calculations. Think you can do that?"

That was probably the wrong thing to say because suddenly McKay puffs up like an enormous bird. Actually… it looks quite cute… and _that_ thought kind of scares her so she banishes it very fast. "Listen, Cadman, this brain has saved countless of _planets_. The thought that I should use it to check _your_ meager little…"

"It also destroyed at least one solar system," Cadman dead-pans and the way McKay stops mid-sentence to stare at her dumfounded at her sheer _audacity_ to interrupt him seems to satisfy her profoundly. "Can we get to work now?" Seems like someone is really eager to bust a few birds… or is there more to it? After all, _someone_ is depending on their success, waiting back in that village to give Cadman a piece or two about selling him. Could it be that Cadman… is a little anxious to keep Lorne's disapproval down to a minimum?

And to be honest… _she_ would like to get this over with as well so she simply says, "Of course, ma'am," this time throwing McKay an evil glare herself. Thankfully, with that it seems to be settled, Cadman uses her hand and feet to explain to their slightly wary guide what they're planning and then pulls out good old pen and paper. Working fast, she scratches a few figures on her notepad, erases some, scratches some new ones… and then hands them to McKay. She expects him to pull out one of those Ancient gadgets all the scientists usually carry around with them but after a short moment of automatically reaching for one of his vest's pockets, he has obviously decided to rely on praised brain, corrects a few of Cadman's figures and hands it back to her.

After that… it's only a matter of timing and aiming grenades. The result is pretty enough that even Major Lorne would have been impressed and she regrets secretly not to have brought a camera because she's sure that some pictures would seriously help in convincing him not to be pissed at Cadman because quite honestly… this mess was not _really_ her fault. And for some reason she can't stand Lorne and Cadman being pissed at each other, even if it is just one-sided… probably it's because when they are getting at each others' throats she always is afraid that her assessment was all wrong and she'll lose the money in the betting pool against those who bet on them landing in bed in the next few weeks.

When the small bombing raid on the birds' resting place is over, they have 13 dead or wounded birds to scoop up – she files this example of precision away in case she might need it to appease Lorne – and can _finally_ make it back to the settlement.

It takes them another 30 minutes to get there but they're worth the reception after their guide told them about their little foray into dynamite hunting with the appropriate great gestures and appreciative faces. Cadman obviously is the hero of the day and her mud-smeared face and the big grin in it seem to amuse Lorne enough that he momentarily forgets that he's still technically a possession of the village matriarch.

The only one not quite happy is McKay, mumbling something about having been cheated out of his credit for this whole thing and she suddenly finds herself saying, "Don't fret, Doc. You did pretty well and I'm sure the Lieutenant appreciates it as well." Originally… she'd said it mostly to just shut him up but it had come out much nicer than she had intended it to and McKay's face actually lights up in a smile.

"At least _one_ person here recognizes my contribution. You surely are exceptionally bright for a grunt, Melder." Yeah, great. That's what you get for being nice. Not even bothering to correct him on her name she just rolls her eyes and turns towards the brightly lit house that seems to serve as a kind of town hall here. This is really the last time _ever_ she was nice to Dr. McKay again, she decides and goes looking for her two superiors.

She finds them engrossed in talking at the table and wants to join them… but is stopped momentarily by Lorne reaching out and _almost_ wiping a speck of dirt from Cadman's cheeks before he seems to remember just who is sitting opposite him grinning and gesturing. Dammit, she has to do _something_ about this or all her money will be down the drain in a few weeks time. Well, that and both Lorne's and Cadman's careers and she would really like to keep both of them as her commanding officers for a little while longer.

So she decides to go in full force, plunges herself on the bank opposite to them and says, "Dr. McKay's being a prima donna again, sir. Just thought I should tell you." Okay, that was not nice to McKay but he did bring this upon himself.

Cadman and Lorne seize their bantering and look at her… almost a little guiltily. Argh. But at least they know what they did wrong. And thankfully they're both professionals enough that they can cover up this fast enough. Lorne doesn't even need to clear his throat to switch almost effortlessly into CO mode again. "Remind me that we have to talk about your attitude towards high-ranking civilians again, Sergeant."

She can't help grinning at him and a short look towards Cadman tells her that the other Marine is as amused as she is. "Sure, sir."

And since this is about McKay… that's really all that has be said about _this_ and Lorne changes the topic, "Anyway… what did we learn today, team?" Both Cadman and she know what he is referring to and _he_ probably knows that he sure as hell won't get them to say "Never let Sheppard send you on a meet-and-greet without giving you the proper anthropological briefings about the locals."

And yeah, in the end it's Cadman who answers, still grinning, "You can never have too many cormorans."

Suppressing a snort she feels compelled to add quite straight-faced, "Or strange alien birds that look like cormorans, anyway."

It makes Lorne roll his eyes but before he can give them a piece of his mind about this, McKay suddenly pipes up from behind her, "So… what's for dinner? I'm _starving_." At everyone turning towards him he just raises his hands and adds, "What? I just helped Cadman to blow up a whole colony of essentially defenseless and probably harmless alien birds. That was pretty strenuous." Lorne and Cadman exchange a mutual eye-rolling but McKay ignores it and simply sits down beside her of all people. Oh well. Hopefully the birds are good enough to make up for this. And at least this whole ordeal confirmed her initial assessment: It _really_ never gets boring on Major Lorne's team… which is actually a very good thing.


	95. 012 Orange

**A/N:** You know what this is (apart from the pre-last Fanfic100-piece, I mean)? It's - yes - a Shock and Awe piece (i.e. a twiniverse story). Because, you know, **mac** wanted the story of the actual conception (only so she could force me to write drunken smut...). Here it is then. Hope you like it.

Also: Adult content warning. Seriously, I'm not kidding. If you don't like adult stuff and smut (or aren't old enough for it), you probably shouldn't read this. Just saying, you know.

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Prompt: 012 Orange

**Drinkin' buddy**

"_She's my drinkin' buddy  
She's got tight blue jeans  
Long blond hair  
And she's a cowboy's dream."_

_Gord Bamford, "Drinkin' Buddy"_

Giggling, she leans against him and he can't help but chuckle and tell her between gasps, "God, I loved Rodney's face when you called him a dodo brain."

"What? He totally deserved it for calling _me_ a crackpot with a… something about fix… fixation and buildings and booms." Her speech is a bit slurred and for some reason he finds it really adorable… in fact, he has been doing it ever since the alcohol had started to take its effect on her. She giggles again and a little unsteadily she lets go of him to try and walk straight on her own. It's a big pity she does and he would have told her so… if he hadn't been too distracted by those blazing hazel eyes and the mane of soft red-golden hair he'd wanted to bury his hands in the whole evening.

Well, that and the tipsy grin and the uneven walking and the fits of giggling… Oh. Huh. His quarters. Somehow he has trouble remembering how they got here so fast… but then again things had been a little fuzzy even before they left Hayley's party and he's past caring. There are much more pressing matters anyway. Namely… having to say good night to Cadman when he doesn't want to let her go just yet. Somewhere in his slightly intoxicated brain a thought slowly resurfaces… something about it being a bad idea to think about Cadman like _that_… and then it's gone.

"Well then… thanks for walking me home, Lieu… Li… Cadman." Mh… maybe he's a _little_ bit more drunk than he thought.

"Been a pleasure, sir. Just thought I'd repay your favor and all." She gives him one of those smug and self-confident grins she hands out by the dozen… and that always captivate him.

Usually… he thumps the thought down but today _something_ makes him say, "So… coffee?" And really just coffee, of course.

She makes a show of taking a minute to think about it and then she says, "Yeah, you sure make a wicked one." Then… suddenly… there's a _glint_ in her eyes that makes him lightheaded… in a totally different way from how the alcohol did. "You _did _mean that steaming black liquid stuff when you said coffee, right?"

"Sure. Unless… you want to add disorderly to drunk." Oh God. Where did _that_ come from? And he didn't just give her a suggestive smile, right? Crap. He should take that back, right now… he has no idea why but he should really _take it back_. Except… he can't because his tongue suddenly seems to be unable to move and… Cadman… just went for his mouth and she's kissing him and…

Before he knows it, they're inside his quarters, kissing like mad and he has her against his door. God… feels good… want more… Oh, is Cadman suddenly psychic? How did she know this would be the perfect moment to slip her hand beneath his shirt?

Still dimly aware of the fact that something about this is a very stupid idea, he goes straight for the buckle of her belt while trying to keep kissing her because suddenly he feels like he can't live another day if he has to go of her lips now. Unfortunately, his hands don't quite obey him and after a few unsuccessful tries he has to momentarily stop with the kissing.

Cadman, upon realizing what exactly is his problem bursts out snorting and laughing. Throwing her a dismayed look only makes her laugh harder but before he can demand an explanation, she says, still laughing, "Told you not to go against rule number three, Major." He just raises an eyebrow, not very keen on continuing this conversation. He'd really rather continue that _other_ thing they were just having. "Never get into a drinking match with a Marine, you noink."

"What the hell is a… I'll _give_ you noink, Miss Loony Baloony." With that he launches at the buckle again and this time it's surprisingly easy to wrestle that damn thing open. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that she actually keeps still for a moment. Look who got the better of her in the department of name calling.

However, his success is short-lived as she tries her best at beating him in the undressing game. With surprisingly nifty fingers she's always a step ahead of him, making it increasingly difficult for him to focus on _his_ part of this game. Oh God, her hands on his skin… hands he loves to watch fly over keyboards, picking at food, cradling a mug of coffee… "Poor Parrish." Oops.

Hopefully she hadn't heard… "What, why?" Damn, she had and now she stopped touching him and unfortunately _not_ getting touched by her is even _worse_ than those fingers on his skin driving him insane.

Maybe it would help if he gave her his best evil grin… so he tries it and says, "Because he'll never know what he missed out on."

"You mean… what _you_ deprived him off, don't you?" She's doing this on purpose, isn't she? This stalling business and not getting where he's sure they _both_ want thing and all that… she _must_ be doing it on purpose.

"So what?" he growls. "You didn't seem to mind the rescue. Well, the morning after, anyway." Somehow… this growling… has an amazing effect on her.

"Right." With renewed vigor, she moves to finish the undressing she started and he uses it to free her of those cumbersome things they call clothes. Actually… the intensity of the undressing has become strong enough that it's a miracle they make it to the bed and not get into it full force right there at his door.

As they sink down on the bed, his totally screwed up brain somehow manages to remember this teeny tiny insignificant detail called 'birth control' and out of habit he reaches for his nightstand's drawer. It's quite an accomplishment, actually, because beneath him Cadman – _Laura_ – is doing her best to keep him occupied. Holy fucking crap, _where_ are the damn… "Protection?" he manages to grunt after giving her another searing kiss that elicits a delicious moan from her.

All she does is pause slightly and look at him with eyes fogged by desire and ask, "Mh?" Ah, fuck it. Fuck it all because Atlantis women are on Pegasus Pills anyway so what could happen, anyway? Also, feeling all of her is all he wants right now.

Letting go of all inhibitions – well, those the alcohol hadn't made disappear, anyway – he only murmurs, "Never mind," and buries his head between her breasts to kiss the small spot between them. He feels her arch towards him, feels her hands on his back, her fingernails digging into his back… he gets as far down as the little butterfly tattoo – what is _that_ doing there? – and the equally ominous scar just above her navel when she seems to have enough of only being on the receiving end.

Clutching the hair at the back of his head, she pulls him up… it doesn't _hurt_ but it's forceful enough to make him stop and give her a chance to turn tables on him. She sits up, runs her hands over his shoulders and goes straight for his neck. For a split second he's torn between throwing back his head and burying his face in her hair but in the end the masses of golden strands win and he pulls her towards him, delving right into them.

Jesus, she smells _good_. Sea and sweat, soap and oranges… and she _feels_ so good as well. The hair's as smooth as he hoped it would be, the skin's hot and delightfully moist with sweat… he just can't get enough of that. And he can't get enough of those lips seemingly all over him and the little moans and gasps she gives him whenever he hits a sensitive spot – actually, by now her whole _body_ seems to be one big sensitive spot – and the fact that she just managed to turn him on his back and is now straddling him.

She bends down, her face illuminated by the moon from outside. Oddly enough, despite the growing arousal he notices the little detail of the light reflecting in her eyes, making them look like they are ablaze. He reaches up to pull her towards him… not taking in account the effect of her shifting her stance to accommodate him. A sharp intake of breath and a choked moan are his reactions to the hot sensation she caused which starts to spread out from his mid-section to the rest of his body.

"Laura…" he manages to get out, almost a plea to her for slowing down the onslaught on his senses – after kissing him nearly senseless she had moved on to devouring him with her lips while always keeping on moving her body. Sadly enough, his plea is actually having an effect because she changes her tactic almost immediately.

One moment she seems to be all over him and the next she concentrates on single spots, one at a time… torturing him with those cool fingers of hers, a little calloused and it's this small detail that drives him towards the edge – feeling the slightly raspy texture whenever she touches him. Okay… okay, that's it. He really can't bear that any longer. Growling again he takes the initiative again.

As she moves to tease him with yet another kiss, he seizes his chance. Drawing him towards her again, he manages to roll them over, half anticipating she won't let him to keep on tormenting him but all she does is hold on tight to him, even wrapping her legs around him, her breathing becoming more erratic by the moment and it's all the invitation he needs to move along with her.

The hot sensation that he had kept barely in check becomes too overwhelming and he finally surrenders to it. And… there's simply no way to describe it so he just lets himself go with the flow… well, after surviving an explosion that surpassed everything he would have expected of Laura, that is. He wishes… he wishes he could linger in this wonderful Neverneverland of drunken bliss that has _nothing_ to do with alcohol…

But eventually exhaustion, tiredness and residual alcohol demand their tribute and slowly he comes back into the real world. He half expects a snarky or at least ironic comment from her but it never comes. Instead, she doesn't let him go at first, hugging him close to her. Drinking in her scent again – now less clean, tangier but still breathtaking – he lets her but something tells him he can't stay on top of her for all eternity… although he'd very much like to.

Exhausted and nearly asleep, he slides half off her. With a deep content sigh, she turns towards him and without thinking he puts an arm around her to draw her close, their legs still entangled. His last dazed and still slightly drunken thought before finally drifting off is that _this_ was _really_ a _very_ stupid idea… but oh so worth it.


	96. 093 Thanksgiving

**A/N:** Okay... this is it. My last Lorne/Cadman Fanfic100 story. I can't... believe I got this far. It's over and it's been... an incredible experience (let's see... I wrote despite being part of three election campaigns, driver's license lessons, going to Canada on vacations, losing my job, having to find a new one and a new apartment as well...). Most of this is due to my equally incredible beta-reader **mac** who gave me encouragement and some kicks in the ass when I needed them, cracked her whip on the last stretch of finishing the challenge and didn't even quit when my extensive usage of the word "already" drove her to commit verbicide (the word equivalent for homicide... yes, we know that we're 'special'...).

Patiently, she fought a war against my inability to use this and that according to the rules (I'll probably _never_ learn it... will you still stay with me, mac?), taught me correct English punctuation (a real effort because they never teach you this in school here...) and had the most amazing (and rabid) plot bunnies I ever encountered. I would have been lost without her. In fact... I wouldn't have been able to finish this without her. I feel very humbled by her exuberant imagination and the ability to think outside of the box and I'm _infinitely_ grateful that she gave me her bunnies and let me use them and write them.

Seriously, if she had kept them to herself - which I would have _absolutely _understood because they are gems among bunnies - I'd have been screwed (because let's face it... my ways of thinking are way too conservative to be as innovative as hers) more than once... no, in general. That I finished Fanfic100 within a year - or anything at all - is solely her merit and she made me a better writer (which is an incredible feat... before starting Fanfic100 I had been in a phase of stagnantion and the only thing worse for a writer is a full-grown writer's block) with challenging me to do things I thought I couldn't do or didn't want to do.

But the _most_ impressive thing about mac is that she's able to put personal dislikes behind her (because she still claims she doesn't like Lorne/Cadman and her little UCMJ voice likes to freak out every time they so much as look the wrong way at each other ;)) and judge writing beyond personally liking the sujet or not. I know she doesn't like me to say this in public but I just have to now: She's an incredible person, so inspiring and bringing out the best in you, ready to invest a lot of time into you and your writing and most of all being a really, really great _friend_. Thanks for doing this and so much more for me, mac!

Also, thanks to every one of my readers for taking an interest in my stories, getting invested in them, liking the way I write the canon characters and liking my original characters, leaving reviews and giving me encouragement to carry on writing. You really mean a lot to me even if I don't always respond to you. I read each and every of your reviews and I value every one because I know that sometimes it's hard to write something (it's why _I _became so picky with _reading_ fanfiction... I have the ambition to leave a review to every story I read and want it to be a good one ;)). Seriously... thanks to all of you, even those who didn't leave a review ;)

Okay... okay, sorry, I went so over the top with the last A/N but I had to because Fanfic100 has been really important to me and it meant a lot for the friendship between mac and Iand I felt like I had to do this justice. I hope I didn't bore you too much with it (and I hope mac didn't die of embarrassment because of it or won't speak to me anymore after reading it...) and will now finally give you my last Fanfic100 story for this claim (I claimed SGU's TJ a while back... and don't forget that I still have plans with the Shock and Awe verse and the RNT-verse ;)). Hope you like it :)

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Prompt: 093 Thanksgiving

**The web of changes**

"_You took me through the pages  
Good happiness is shared  
Lost in the web of changes  
This could be the last dance  
Waltzing in the rain  
'Till the Minstrel comes to save us."_

_Runrig, "Book of Golden Stories"_

This is it. It's his last speech in front of his soldiers and co-workers… and probably in front of a few of his friends as well. He will, if God and all other supernatural entities permit, never return to Atlantis or the Pegasus Galaxy at all. He also won't return to the Pentagon or Homeworld Security or any of his other postings he served at during his years… _decades_ of service to his country, his planet and his galaxy… his _two_ galaxies.

For some reason… he's a little surprised that there's more than just regret that he feels. Since he'd known the exact date when his service would end and he would take off the uniform for good, he'd always thought he'd find it almost impossible to let go of the responsibility and the pride he always felt when wearing the uniform. But here he stands and there is so much… _more_.

A last time, his gaze wanders a little to his side where Laura's sitting, wearing her Dress Blues with the new third star on her shoulders and the deep pride he felt when the President promoted her a month ago wells up again. She catches his eye and a little smile graces her face, making the wrinkles around her eyes deeper and his heart soar.

To her left side, there sits Griffin, his son, wearing the uniform of an officer of the newly formed United Nations Space Corps and his twin daughters Julia and Tanya, the former wearing the USAF Dress Blues and the latter an evening gown of her own collection. Seeing them all there, beside his still beautiful and successful wife… there are simply no words to describe how proud it makes him.

Oh well, give them what they deserve, General, he thinks and steps up the podium. Taking another moment to shuffle around his papers a little, he also clears his mind and then finally begins his speech. "Ladies and gentleman, fellow soldiers, dear friends…" An unexpected lump has formed in his throat and he has to take a deep breath before he can continue, "we have all gathered here today to celebrate an end. The end of my 52 years of service as an officer in the United States Air Force."

Aw, dammit, he's such a sentimental old fool. Two sentences into his speech and he feels ready to bawl his eyes out… well, or he would if he wasn't a General of the Air Force. Again his eyes catch Laura's and this time she raises her eyebrow a little ironically, as if to ask if he's giving up this quickly. As always, that only makes him try harder and he goes on, "There's a lot of what I could I tell you about them; hundreds of stories and anecdotes I'm sure every one of you is dying to hear."

At this, his audience gives him some laughs and few applause and he allows himself a little cocky grin… that makes Laura roll her eyes, maybe because she knows it's meant for her and the children. "However, time is short for a soldier – and someone told me it's like that for civilians as well – so I have to say I'm sorry I can't tell you any of them. But what I will tell you now is this," dammit, he feels that lump forming again, "It's been a pleasure serving for and with you… all of you."

His eyes grace his family again and he realizes that this… applies most of all to Laura, who he has served with for at least half of those 52 years and never regretted it, even though often enough it had been a major pain in the ass. "Yes, I've seen a lot of pain, blood and ultimately death in all those years and it never ceased to be anything but terrible and terrifying but I've also seen amazing acts of selflessness, courage and dedication. Those were what made serving with all of you a unique and inspiring experience."

From the corner of his eyes he sees a movement and catches his son discreetly putting a hand on Laura's and has to hide a smile at that. She'd never admit it but she's as touched as he is… and that makes him very curious about what will follow. Despite her prodding and prying, he managed to keep the manuscript to the speech away from her overly curious eyes, so everything he says will be a surprise to her.

"So yes, I'm here today to thank you all for being allowed to serve with you… but I'm also here to remember all those who never made it to this point. All the friends and fellow soldiers and co-workers we lost to come to where we are today. I'm here to remind you and myself never to forget the sacrifices they made to make it possible for us to be here today." At this, he looks at Laura first and he can see in her eyes the same melancholy and flicker of grief he always feels when thinking of friends lost along the way.

Then his eyes fall on Jennifer Keller-McKay and her daughter Marian and he sees a ghost of the sorrow they both felt when Rodney McKay sacrificed himself to save Atlantis 14 years ago wash over Jennifer's face. He also looks at John Sheppard and his face mirrors his own regret for all the deaths under both their commands. Teyla Emmagan is the next person he looks at and even though she tries to hide it as much as Sheppard does, he can see that Ronon Dex's death 20 years ago still weighs her down now and then.

But no, this isn't a day for somberness and grief. It's a day of remembrance and letting the past pass by but also, in a way, of looking into the future. "I will, however, not dwell on the past because those friends we lost… they wouldn't want us to live in the past. Instead, they'd want us to thank them and use the time they bought us wisely. So… thank you, all of you. We will never forget you and will look forward."

Well then, on to the future, "In the 52 years I served in the United States Air Force, mankind managed to accomplish more than I would ever dream of when I decided that trying out for a spot at the Air Force Academy would be a good idea. Being a part of this was… all kinds of things, actually. Amazing, gratifying and sometimes also terrifying and exhausting."

Most of all because a number of times… Laura and he had had close calls. There was this one time… when Laura had been gone for three weeks, on a top secret mission only John and Richard had been privy to. Neither of them had ever told him what it had been about but it had ended with Laura coming back barely alive and it still gives him nightmares now and then.

"It was worth it, though. What I see today – more than 100 bases in two galaxies, stable diplomatic relations with dozens of partners in those galaxies and ultimately peace – makes me proud, of all of you." Another look towards Laura and now she's… blushing. He'll probably get an earful for that later but now he has to make someone else blush. "It also makes me proud to see my children be a part of this." What, Mr. Super Space Soldier is suddenly embarrassed? And the self-proclaimed poster girl of the Air Force tries to stare a hole in the ground through which she can disappear… while the face of the new star designer of Melanthea – formerly known as P9S-846 – has taken on the bright red color of her dress.

Oh well, almost last leg of the speech it is. "They and all the other young soldiers, scientists and artists that I see here are the best proof to me that the Stargate program is in the best of hands and that the work that my fellow soldiers and co-workers and I began so long ago will be continued. This is the best way to make an old veteran like me let go and pass the flame on to the next generation."

Again, he feels something constrict his throat when he prepares for his last paragraph. Taking a deep breath, he finally says, "Thank you all for 52 wonderful and challenging years in the service. Thank you all for being my superiors, co-workers and friends. And last but not least: Thank you for 45 years of being my wonderful, spirited, sharp-tongued wife, Laura. Sorry to tell you but… now that I don't have my subordinates to bother anymore, I'll have to concentrate on bothering _you_. I told you not to be too overjoyed at the prospect of my retirement."

It makes his audience laugh but even over the slight distance he can see that Laura is greatly moved by his acknowledgement. For a moment they look at each other and it's really only them. Just like 45 years ago, on their wedding day when no one else but them had mattered. To think she had turned him down the first two times he had asked her… Okay, they can reminiscence all they want later, now he has to make it final.

"So… I say… good bye, not farewell because I hope to see many of you again, coming to visit me and hear me going on about the old times and how everything was so much better when _I_ was still in charge here." Another round of chuckles. "Again, it was an honor serving with you. I will miss it but I will also look forward to see another generation make their mark on two galaxies. Good bye to all of you." With that he steps away from the podium and salutes his audience.

The applause that erupts is deafening and one by one, people are standing up and as he gets down from the podium, there's a number of them waiting down to congratulate him. John clasps his hand and gives him a smirk, telling him for a speech, it wasn't half-bad while Teyla envelops him in a hug, quietly reassuring him that it was honor for _her_ to be working alongside _him_… Jennifer, Samantha Carter, Matthew Kemp… and as the last one, Laura.

She hugs him tight, gives him a kiss on the lips and hugs him again, whispering to him, "I never minded you bothering me and I sure as hell won't start with it now." It makes him grin.

"That bodes well for 45 more years of marriage." She grins back.

"At _least_. Now, come on, old man, let's get to the best part of this." He raises his eyebrow and her grin gets a little bit brighter. "The _food_, dummy." Right. The food. Of course. Not his speech, no, it's the food. He shakes his head, smirking.

"You're incorrigible, Dynamite." Most of the people in the audience who were also invited to the reception afterwards have left the Gate room that had served as an auditorium and Laura could never quite tone down the impatience that is part of her personality, so she tugs at his sleeve to get him moving.

"It's part of my charm, Brushes. Now get going." Yeah, he better. So after throwing one last look around the now empty Gate room, he turns back to her and follows her, realizing that this isn't only good bye… it's also a beginning and it's all up to him to make this phase of his life as good as the ones that are behind him. He's got all the prerequisites for that, at least.


End file.
